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        Fbi, Friends, and Post Office: To the thoughtful, but aggrieved, neighbor who left a note under my door written on t
 cover of my New Yorker magazine stating:
 he
 "You either leave a note to the mailman telling him to stop
 fitting your mail in my mailbox or I will keep your mail,"
 First of all, Thank you very much for placing my mail under my door. That was truly neighborly
 of you
 Per your kind suggestion, I have left a note to the mail carrier asking them to please put my mail
 in my mailbox. I hope this instruction will suffice, but as you did not include your name or
 apartment number, I was unable to ask the carrier to avoid putting my mail in your mailbox
 specifically. If you would like me to to include this information in my note, kindly write your
 name and apartment number on this paper and I will gladly pass it along to our carrier.
 I have also called the post office alerting them to this problem.
 Further, Elaina, our super, with whom I have shared your note, has offered to speak with the
 carrier personally. I have taken every measure I can think of to prevent this egregious act from
 occurring again, including sharing your concern (and your note) with other friends and
 neighbors
 I am truly sorry for the grievous inconvenience this has caused you. (And, on a more selfish
 note, I would also like my own mail put in my own mailbox.). If the unthinkable should happen
 again, and the mail carrier should inadvertently put my mail in your mailbox, perhaps, instead
 of troubling yourself with the onerous task of delivering it directly to my door, you could just
 leave it on the ledge above the mailboxes as the rest of our neighbors do for one another
 Thank you again for neighborly thoughtfulness. It does, indeed, inspire reciprocity.
 C. Fay
 Apartment #39
 P.S.: If this unfortunate event should re-occur, and you do feel compelled to keep my mail as
 you intimate in your note, I understand from my brother-in-law (who is in the FBI) that
 tampering knowingly with another's mail might constitute a federal offense. (I share this
 information with you in the same neighborly spirit implicit in your own missive.) Of course,
 pressing such a charge could prove problematic, as you have diffidently kept your identity
 anonymous. Therefore, my brother-in-law has offered to dust the mail you left under my door
 for fingerprints should it become necessary. I do hope it won't. I told my brother-in-law,
 thought that would be over reacting.
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan. (i.redd.it)
        

            
            

                
                
                    Fbi, Friends, and Post Office: To the thoughtful, but aggrieved, neighbor who left a note under my door written on t
 cover of my New Yorker magazine stating:
 he
 "You either leave a note to the mailman telling him to stop
 fitting your mail in my mailbox or I will keep your mail,"
 First of all, Thank you very much for placing my mail under my door. That was truly neighborly
 of you
 Per your kind suggestion, I have left a note to the mail carrier asking them to please put my mail
 in my mailbox. I hope this instruction will suffice, but as you did not include your name or
 apartment number, I was unable to ask the carrier to avoid putting my mail in your mailbox
 specifically. If you would like me to to include this information in my note, kindly write your
 name and apartment number on this paper and I will gladly pass it along to our carrier.
 I have also called the post office alerting them to this problem.
 Further, Elaina, our super, with whom I have shared your note, has offered to speak with the
 carrier personally. I have taken every measure I can think of to prevent this egregious act from
 occurring again, including sharing your concern (and your note) with other friends and
 neighbors
 I am truly sorry for the grievous inconvenience this has caused you. (And, on a more selfish
 note, I would also like my own mail put in my own mailbox.). If the unthinkable should happen
 again, and the mail carrier should inadvertently put my mail in your mailbox, perhaps, instead
 of troubling yourself with the onerous task of delivering it directly to my door, you could just
 leave it on the ledge above the mailboxes as the rest of our neighbors do for one another
 Thank you again for neighborly thoughtfulness. It does, indeed, inspire reciprocity.
 C. Fay
 Apartment #39
 P.S.: If this unfortunate event should re-occur, and you do feel compelled to keep my mail as
 you intimate in your note, I understand from my brother-in-law (who is in the FBI) that
 tampering knowingly with another's mail might constitute a federal offense. (I share this
 information with you in the same neighborly spirit implicit in your own missive.) Of course,
 pressing such a charge could prove problematic, as you have diffidently kept your identity
 anonymous. Therefore, my brother-in-law has offered to dust the mail you left under my door
 for fingerprints should it become necessary. I do hope it won't. I told my brother-in-law,
 thought that would be over reacting.
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan. (i.redd.it)
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan. (i.redd.it)

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Fbi, Friends, and Post Office: To the thoughtful, but aggrieved, neighbor who left a note under my door written on t
 cover of my New Yorker magazine stating:
 he
 "You either leave a note to the mailman telling him to stop
 fitting your mail in my mailbox or I will keep your mail,"
 First of all, Thank you very much for placing my mail under my door. That was truly neighborly
 of you
 Per your kind suggestion, I have left a note to the mail carrier asking them to please put my mail
 in my mailbox. I hope this instruction will suffice, but as you did not include your name or
 apartment number, I was unable to ask the carrier to avoid putting my mail in your mailbox
 specifically. If you would like me to to include this information in my note, kindly write your
 name and apartment number on this paper and I will gladly pass it along to our carrier.
 I have also called the post office alerting them to this problem.
 Further, Elaina, our super, with whom I have shared your note, has offered to speak with the
 carrier personally. I have taken every measure I can think of to prevent this egregious act from
 occurring again, including sharing your concern (and your note) with other friends and
 neighbors
 I am truly sorry for the grievous inconvenience this has caused you. (And, on a more selfish
 note, I would also like my own mail put in my own mailbox.). If the unthinkable should happen
 again, and the mail carrier should inadvertently put my mail in your mailbox, perhaps, instead
 of troubling yourself with the onerous task of delivering it directly to my door, you could just
 leave it on the ledge above the mailboxes as the rest of our neighbors do for one another
 Thank you again for neighborly thoughtfulness. It does, indeed, inspire reciprocity.
 C. Fay
 Apartment #39
 P.S.: If this unfortunate event should re-occur, and you do feel compelled to keep my mail as
 you intimate in your note, I understand from my brother-in-law (who is in the FBI) that
 tampering knowingly with another's mail might constitute a federal offense. (I share this
 information with you in the same neighborly spirit implicit in your own missive.) Of course,
 pressing such a charge could prove problematic, as you have diffidently kept your identity
 anonymous. Therefore, my brother-in-law has offered to dust the mail you left under my door
 for fingerprints should it become necessary. I do hope it won't. I told my brother-in-law,
 thought that would be over reacting.
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan.
        

            
            

                
                
                    Fbi, Friends, and Post Office: To the thoughtful, but aggrieved, neighbor who left a note under my door written on t
 cover of my New Yorker magazine stating:
 he
 "You either leave a note to the mailman telling him to stop
 fitting your mail in my mailbox or I will keep your mail,"
 First of all, Thank you very much for placing my mail under my door. That was truly neighborly
 of you
 Per your kind suggestion, I have left a note to the mail carrier asking them to please put my mail
 in my mailbox. I hope this instruction will suffice, but as you did not include your name or
 apartment number, I was unable to ask the carrier to avoid putting my mail in your mailbox
 specifically. If you would like me to to include this information in my note, kindly write your
 name and apartment number on this paper and I will gladly pass it along to our carrier.
 I have also called the post office alerting them to this problem.
 Further, Elaina, our super, with whom I have shared your note, has offered to speak with the
 carrier personally. I have taken every measure I can think of to prevent this egregious act from
 occurring again, including sharing your concern (and your note) with other friends and
 neighbors
 I am truly sorry for the grievous inconvenience this has caused you. (And, on a more selfish
 note, I would also like my own mail put in my own mailbox.). If the unthinkable should happen
 again, and the mail carrier should inadvertently put my mail in your mailbox, perhaps, instead
 of troubling yourself with the onerous task of delivering it directly to my door, you could just
 leave it on the ledge above the mailboxes as the rest of our neighbors do for one another
 Thank you again for neighborly thoughtfulness. It does, indeed, inspire reciprocity.
 C. Fay
 Apartment #39
 P.S.: If this unfortunate event should re-occur, and you do feel compelled to keep my mail as
 you intimate in your note, I understand from my brother-in-law (who is in the FBI) that
 tampering knowingly with another's mail might constitute a federal offense. (I share this
 information with you in the same neighborly spirit implicit in your own missive.) Of course,
 pressing such a charge could prove problematic, as you have diffidently kept your identity
 anonymous. Therefore, my brother-in-law has offered to dust the mail you left under my door
 for fingerprints should it become necessary. I do hope it won't. I told my brother-in-law,
 thought that would be over reacting.
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan.
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan.

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Be Like, Comfortable, and Condom: Mousie
 If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a
 condom, please send him this
magic-retina:

siphersaysstuff:

megabeeprime:

snyderman37:

anxiousartisan:

paladinpup:

kramergate:

just because it “fits” doesnt mean its comfortable or sustainable stopppppppp this shit

There are two main factors at play when someone says that a condom is too small: (1) the band size is too small  (2) the condom is not sustainable
The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.
Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.
If your partner says a condom is too small, believe them and cease from doing anything that requires a condom. If your partner says a condom is too small but is trying to pressure you into unprotected sex, kick them out the door. 

Thaaaank you please read the above they make large and XXL condoms for a reason and it’s not to stoke men’s egos

A former… friend suggested I try a size or two larger, and yes, they do work.

Yep. At first, I thought that condoms were supposed to be that tight. I’d seen those “condoms can fit on a two liter bottle so quit your complaining,” I had no basis for comparison because dudes don’t talk about that shit, and no one wants to be that “HURR HURR GUESS I NEED A MAGNUM XL” guy.


Now wear that condom on your arm for a while. Ten minutes at least. Still got sensation in your arm?
One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).
But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)
Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.
And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.
And don’t let anyone give you guff over it, and don’t let anyone pressure you into unprotected sex because of condom size.

For the record, even if you’re doing things that don’t involve a penis at all, condoms are good to have around. They make great dental dams on the fly, keep toys clean, and keep body parts clean if your partner is using their hands. :) Also, keep some non-latex ones around in case you or your partner has a latex allergy. Trust me, there are few places worse to have that allergic reaction. o_o

        

            
            

                
                
                    Be Like, Comfortable, and Condom: Mousie
 If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a
 condom, please send him this
magic-retina:

siphersaysstuff:

megabeeprime:

snyderman37:

anxiousartisan:

paladinpup:

kramergate:

just because it “fits” doesnt mean its comfortable or sustainable stopppppppp this shit

There are two main factors at play when someone says that a condom is too small: (1) the band size is too small  (2) the condom is not sustainable
The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.
Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.
If your partner says a condom is too small, believe them and cease from doing anything that requires a condom. If your partner says a condom is too small but is trying to pressure you into unprotected sex, kick them out the door. 

Thaaaank you please read the above they make large and XXL condoms for a reason and it’s not to stoke men’s egos

A former… friend suggested I try a size or two larger, and yes, they do work.

Yep. At first, I thought that condoms were supposed to be that tight. I’d seen those “condoms can fit on a two liter bottle so quit your complaining,” I had no basis for comparison because dudes don’t talk about that shit, and no one wants to be that “HURR HURR GUESS I NEED A MAGNUM XL” guy.


Now wear that condom on your arm for a while. Ten minutes at least. Still got sensation in your arm?
One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).
But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)
Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.
And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.
And don’t let anyone give you guff over it, and don’t let anyone pressure you into unprotected sex because of condom size.

For the record, even if you’re doing things that don’t involve a penis at all, condoms are good to have around. They make great dental dams on the fly, keep toys clean, and keep body parts clean if your partner is using their hands. :) Also, keep some non-latex ones around in case you or your partner has a latex allergy. Trust me, there are few places worse to have that allergic reaction. o_o

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Memes, Period, and Police: HUFFPOSTI
 $0 down. with AT81 Next
 SCIENCE
 1252014 8 29m Et/Updated Ma 26 201
 Video Games Promote
 Racist Thoughts &
 Behavior, Study Of White
 Gamers Suggests
 By David Freeman
 Che Washington Post
 To be white is to be racist.
 period. a high sehool
 teacher told his class
 NANT TO BE.IT
 SET
 DO T DO THINGS BECAUSE
 THE WAY I WAS RA
 HILLARY
 Everyone is racist
 - not just police!
 SEPTEMBER 26, 206
 BY KYLE OLSON
 904 261G+2in
 933
 When Hiltary Clinton was asked at the
 Hofstra University debate if the police have
 an "implicit bias against black Americans
 she not only agreed, but didnt stop there
 FAFFINITY a
 You Don't Have To Be Racist
 To Be Racist
 By Evin
 Newsweek
 IS YOUR BABY
 RACIST
 Slate
 Cana Dog Be Raist?
 ep000
 Aura Bogado o
 @aurabogado
 The death toll in Haiti from Hurricane
 Matthew is 339. That's what
 environmental racism looks like.
 #Black LivesMatter雙
 10/6/16, 10:01 PM
<p><a href="https://gaylibertariansc.tumblr.com/post/164315395820/millenialconservativecollegegirl-klubbhead" class="tumblr_blog">gaylibertariansc</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://millenialconservativecollegegirl.tumblr.com/post/164295955347/klubbhead-imma-start-watermarking-my-memes-my" class="tumblr_blog">millenialconservativecollegegirl</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/164291625948/imma-start-watermarking-my-memes" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p><blockquote><p>Imma start watermarking my memes 😁</p></blockquote>

<p>My brain hurts</p></blockquote>

<p>Ow! Damn it. Headache just went to level 7.</p></blockquote>

<p>I&rsquo;m sorry &ldquo;environmental racism&rdquo;??</p>
        

            
            

                
                
                    Memes, Period, and Police: HUFFPOSTI
 $0 down. with AT81 Next
 SCIENCE
 1252014 8 29m Et/Updated Ma 26 201
 Video Games Promote
 Racist Thoughts &
 Behavior, Study Of White
 Gamers Suggests
 By David Freeman
 Che Washington Post
 To be white is to be racist.
 period. a high sehool
 teacher told his class
 NANT TO BE.IT
 SET
 DO T DO THINGS BECAUSE
 THE WAY I WAS RA
 HILLARY
 Everyone is racist
 - not just police!
 SEPTEMBER 26, 206
 BY KYLE OLSON
 904 261G+2in
 933
 When Hiltary Clinton was asked at the
 Hofstra University debate if the police have
 an "implicit bias against black Americans
 she not only agreed, but didnt stop there
 FAFFINITY a
 You Don't Have To Be Racist
 To Be Racist
 By Evin
 Newsweek
 IS YOUR BABY
 RACIST
 Slate
 Cana Dog Be Raist?
 ep000
 Aura Bogado o
 @aurabogado
 The death toll in Haiti from Hurricane
 Matthew is 339. That's what
 environmental racism looks like.
 #Black LivesMatter雙
 10/6/16, 10:01 PM
<p><a href="https://gaylibertariansc.tumblr.com/post/164315395820/millenialconservativecollegegirl-klubbhead" class="tumblr_blog">gaylibertariansc</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://millenialconservativecollegegirl.tumblr.com/post/164295955347/klubbhead-imma-start-watermarking-my-memes-my" class="tumblr_blog">millenialconservativecollegegirl</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/164291625948/imma-start-watermarking-my-memes" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p><blockquote><p>Imma start watermarking my memes 😁</p></blockquote>

<p>My brain hurts</p></blockquote>

<p>Ow! Damn it. Headache just went to level 7.</p></blockquote>

<p>I&rsquo;m sorry &ldquo;environmental racism&rdquo;??</p>
                    
                
            

            
                
                
gaylibertariansc:

millenialconservativecollegegirl:

klubbhead:Imma start watermarking my memes 😁

My brain hurts

Ow! Damn it. Headache ju...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Ali, Bad, and Baked: The Goat Pharoah
 Wild and totemic, this is a beard for leaders and
 mystics alike. Equally at home in an elder's
 meeting or an impromptu worship jam, this is a
 beard with attitude, and a gentle yet feral energy
 well suited to a variety of pastoral activities.
 A field guide for pastoral facial hair.
 The Guru Goatee
 Statistics sound best when spoken through the gentle
 o ocurtain of this gem. Urbane, but not foppish; neat, but
 with a slight bad boy" flair, it brings that Palo Alto
 panache without too much West Coast
 Church Planter
 Like a fickering shadow under the lower lip, this style
 puts the "soul" in "soul patch." I don't care who you
 are, where you're from, this tuft will draw a crowd.
 Watch carefully though: it's here now, but could be
 gone by next week's simulcast
 The Orthodox
 You'll have a schism with your razor after seeing this
 beauty. Timeless, yet urbane, this is the beard for the
 discerning priest of a more Eastern persuasion. Pair
 with heavy incense.
 Post-Evangelical Stubble
 This "IO o clock shadow is more than a statement,
 it is an implicit philosophical challenge to the entire
 Evangelical tribe. For too long, we have put pastors in
 boxes. This casual spattering of hair is both noncom-
 mittal and a needed reaction against the absurd
 varnished forms of "how it's ali been thought about
 The Perennial
 Youth Pastor
 Unchanged since the late 90s, this carefully maintained
 piece clings desperately to the lower lip; like the last
 green leaf refusing to admit that fall has come. Often
 seen above skate shoes and superhero t-shirts.
 oO
 The Reformed
 Calvin. Enough saicd
 Ge-neva have to shave again.
 The Anabaptist
 From pasturing to pastoring, this glorious neck
 beard ("neard") flourishes out from strong Teutonic
 chins around the world. It's all about community
 But it's not just for rural brethrenl Nay, an urban
 Sitz im Leben fits this bold style too.
 The Neo-Reformed
 Rigid and unyielding from the
 front, yet supple and welcoming
 If approached with filial respect
 Scented like dark beer and sweet
 pipe tobacco. You could smother
 an Arminian with that mess.
 No one is good enough to wear this, thou groveling
 worm. A pox on thee for e'en thinking of't! Yet mercy
 abounds, as does the attractiveness of this carefully
 trimmed masterwork. But not through any merit of
 the wearer's, lest our pride break all bounds.
 The Patchtivist
 Whether standing in solidarity with the urban poor
 never looked as chic as this patchy leader of a quiet
 S5A manifesto of style, this is the true face of the people
 shooting a documentary on Christian bourgeoisity, Che
 The Hawg Preacher
 If blue-collar style gets your motor running, you'll
 want to head out on the highway for this preacher's
 mobile sermons. Complete the look with leather chaps
 embroidered with scripture references, a practical
 vehicle for evangelism on-the-go.
 revolution. Viva la Kingdom!
 This beard loves you, but will never ever llke you. Pair
 ONLY AND ALWAYS WITH A 6ll AUTHORIZED VERSION
 OF THE KING JAMES BIBLE. DOESN'T KNOW HOW
 TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
 The Hipster Pastor
 This carefully sculpted mustache curves in a gentle
 sweep over the lip for an ironic 1890's look. Often
 complemented by a fiannel shirt, messenger bag, and
 The S
 It is rumored that the few preachers
 tro calculator watch. Look for stains of macchiato
 foam or crumbs from locally baked scones on this
 chic style statement.
 SOwho can grow this masterpiece find that their
 vocal projection triples. In any case, as old Charles
 Haddon himself said: "Growing a beard 'is a habit
 most natural, scriptural, manly, and beneficial."
        

            
            

                
                
                    Ali, Bad, and Baked: The Goat Pharoah
 Wild and totemic, this is a beard for leaders and
 mystics alike. Equally at home in an elder's
 meeting or an impromptu worship jam, this is a
 beard with attitude, and a gentle yet feral energy
 well suited to a variety of pastoral activities.
 A field guide for pastoral facial hair.
 The Guru Goatee
 Statistics sound best when spoken through the gentle
 o ocurtain of this gem. Urbane, but not foppish; neat, but
 with a slight bad boy" flair, it brings that Palo Alto
 panache without too much West Coast
 Church Planter
 Like a fickering shadow under the lower lip, this style
 puts the "soul" in "soul patch." I don't care who you
 are, where you're from, this tuft will draw a crowd.
 Watch carefully though: it's here now, but could be
 gone by next week's simulcast
 The Orthodox
 You'll have a schism with your razor after seeing this
 beauty. Timeless, yet urbane, this is the beard for the
 discerning priest of a more Eastern persuasion. Pair
 with heavy incense.
 Post-Evangelical Stubble
 This "IO o clock shadow is more than a statement,
 it is an implicit philosophical challenge to the entire
 Evangelical tribe. For too long, we have put pastors in
 boxes. This casual spattering of hair is both noncom-
 mittal and a needed reaction against the absurd
 varnished forms of "how it's ali been thought about
 The Perennial
 Youth Pastor
 Unchanged since the late 90s, this carefully maintained
 piece clings desperately to the lower lip; like the last
 green leaf refusing to admit that fall has come. Often
 seen above skate shoes and superhero t-shirts.
 oO
 The Reformed
 Calvin. Enough saicd
 Ge-neva have to shave again.
 The Anabaptist
 From pasturing to pastoring, this glorious neck
 beard ("neard") flourishes out from strong Teutonic
 chins around the world. It's all about community
 But it's not just for rural brethrenl Nay, an urban
 Sitz im Leben fits this bold style too.
 The Neo-Reformed
 Rigid and unyielding from the
 front, yet supple and welcoming
 If approached with filial respect
 Scented like dark beer and sweet
 pipe tobacco. You could smother
 an Arminian with that mess.
 No one is good enough to wear this, thou groveling
 worm. A pox on thee for e'en thinking of't! Yet mercy
 abounds, as does the attractiveness of this carefully
 trimmed masterwork. But not through any merit of
 the wearer's, lest our pride break all bounds.
 The Patchtivist
 Whether standing in solidarity with the urban poor
 never looked as chic as this patchy leader of a quiet
 S5A manifesto of style, this is the true face of the people
 shooting a documentary on Christian bourgeoisity, Che
 The Hawg Preacher
 If blue-collar style gets your motor running, you'll
 want to head out on the highway for this preacher's
 mobile sermons. Complete the look with leather chaps
 embroidered with scripture references, a practical
 vehicle for evangelism on-the-go.
 revolution. Viva la Kingdom!
 This beard loves you, but will never ever llke you. Pair
 ONLY AND ALWAYS WITH A 6ll AUTHORIZED VERSION
 OF THE KING JAMES BIBLE. DOESN'T KNOW HOW
 TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
 The Hipster Pastor
 This carefully sculpted mustache curves in a gentle
 sweep over the lip for an ironic 1890's look. Often
 complemented by a fiannel shirt, messenger bag, and
 The S
 It is rumored that the few preachers
 tro calculator watch. Look for stains of macchiato
 foam or crumbs from locally baked scones on this
 chic style statement.
 SOwho can grow this masterpiece find that their
 vocal projection triples. In any case, as old Charles
 Haddon himself said: "Growing a beard 'is a habit
 most natural, scriptural, manly, and beneficial."
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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