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Animals, Birthday, and Cars: When I didn't read and I was a soldier (terrorist) in the British Army... When I thought that materialism was a worthy pursuit. When I used to think all problems could be solved by a gun or a knife. When I used to want to kill my dad for raping my mum and abusing me. When I used to eat murdered animals... When I used to think women were objects, when I used to think that learning my history was "Too deep" Just before I was in the Army, when I was 15, I was was selling crack and heroin on the block, these times I thought that life had no meaning just sex, money and power... When I used to think that crying was weak so I didn't cry for 12 years... When I used to be scared of having children 👶🏾 When I used to sex any women, from any background as long as they were aesthetically pleasing. When I used to respect people just because they had money. When I experienced massive racism, so I learned how to box and beat up any Europeans who were racist to me. (Now I can just beat them verbally) When I never used to tell anyone how I really feel. When I used to eat junk food, I actually stopped drinking at 17 and didn't drink since. When I was lonely... When I thought I was going die everyday, when I nearly got blown up on my 20th birthday in Iraq. When I thought being a celebrity was a good idea. When I was self destructive. When I was going to kill myself... When I used to drive cars too fast, when I thought that "Making it" in the USA was the highest human achievement. When I was depressed. When I did nothing for my people or culture, when I was a coward. When I saw my friend get murdered in front of me by the park where we used to do callisthenics... Then I changed, I've been working on myself ever since. I am humble enough to never forget where I came from, & know that I don't know that much and honest enough to tell you openly about my life each and every step of the way. I'm different now and still learning chakabars

When I didn't read and I was a soldier (terrorist) in the British Army... When I thought that materialism was a worthy pursuit. When I used ...