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Anaconda, Ass, and Bitch: If she comes to ur house wearing these ur 100% getting laid douggiehouse Let me tell you about this one time when I was a virgin ass dude. This was about 2 hrs ago. I text this chick and tell her to come over so we can do my laundry together. I legit don't know how to do laundry and really wanted some professional help. I get my white tee shirts mixed with different colors bc I just don't know how it works. Anyways she slides thru my apt in some basket ball shorts and sports bra. I thought maybe she wanted to do flutter kicks after we got done doing laundry. As soon as she comes in she goes to my room and grabs the henny bottle I keep in my bathroom and starts drinking. Oh I keep the henny there for my bowel movements. Somehow henny helps wit that. So she's drinking and I'm like ok I get it bc I drink too before I do my laundry bc that shit be stressful. I was asking her how to properly wash my olive green rompers so they don't shrink and in the midst of that she grabs my dick and says "you hand wash it." I was like bet. And one thing lead to another and next thing you know I'm hitting her with the weakest strokes as I'm asking her Q&As about laundry. This is how it went. girl: ah fuck me Me: yea cool. I'm doing that now. So I gotta turn the machine to heavy duty for only sheets right? Her: yes daddy. Talk dirty to me Me: your coochie feels like my cum sock....crusty as shit. Oh speaking of socks, can I throw in my purple socks with my black socks? Or it gotta be the same color Her: yea yea yea yea Me: lol ok lil uzi I still don't know how to do laundry... and I feel like that bitch took advantage of me.
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