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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Advice, Children, and Computers: Devil's Agvocate 2.0 (aka Michelle v @MGigger I collect all cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my oom Last night those little **holes all set alarms to go off at various times throughout the night. I'm impressed with their ingenuity and team effort They're all grounded kx* silent-calling You teach them responsibility by entrusting them with these devices You teach them teamwork by taking them away at night and storing them in your room outofpocket-prince My dad kept the computer locked and monitored (and only used when under direct supervision), an intolerable situation to which my little brother and I reacted with gusto. We set up a camera to get the password, coded password guessers, bootcamped a Mac to allow us to use an entirely different system, and figured out various ways to avoid logging internet activity, logins, and even the hidden camera my dad set up. He would discover our new hack and put even more restrictions (he is very computer literate), and we would crack it again. We leaned computer security just because my dad didn't want us to I breezed through AP comp sci into a tech field. Ironically, I was introduced to porn because I was looking for another bypass and stumbled into a BDSM site so I can also blame my dad for me being a freaky ho thegreenpea Out of all the responses to this post. Yours was my favourite. I cried laughing when I saw the last paragraph lyinginbedmon Literally every single "protect your children" system from the 90s was broken within weeks by the collective ingenuity of the children they were used against. tomannynotebooks I wasnt and never will be good with computers but I would figure out my moms password and change the parental controlls over how long I could be on. Eventually I just labeled my own user as admin and made her and dad normal users.... I stole full con 73,288 notes advice-animal: Kids vs technology restrictions
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Children, Computers, and Dad: Devil's Agvocate 2.0 (aka Michelle v @MGigger I collect all cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my oom Last night those little **holes all set alarms to go off at various times throughout the night. I'm impressed with their ingenuity and team effort They're all grounded kx* silent-calling You teach them responsibility by entrusting them with these devices You teach them teamwork by taking them away at night and storing them in your room outofpocket-prince My dad kept the computer locked and monitored (and only used when under direct supervision), an intolerable situation to which my little brother and I reacted with gusto. We set up a camera to get the password, coded password guessers, bootcamped a Mac to allow us to use an entirely different system, and figured out various ways to avoid logging internet activity, logins, and even the hidden camera my dad set up. He would discover our new hack and put even more restrictions (he is very computer literate), and we would crack it again. We leaned computer security just because my dad didn't want us to I breezed through AP comp sci into a tech field. Ironically, I was introduced to porn because I was looking for another bypass and stumbled into a BDSM site so I can also blame my dad for me being a freaky ho thegreenpea Out of all the responses to this post. Yours was my favourite. I cried laughing when I saw the last paragraph lyinginbedmon Literally every single "protect your children" system from the 90s was broken within weeks by the collective ingenuity of the children they were used against. tomannynotebooks I wasnt and never will be good with computers but I would figure out my moms password and change the parental controlls over how long I could be on. Eventually I just labeled my own user as admin and made her and dad normal users.... I stole full con 73,288 notes Kids vs technology restrictions
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Ass, Beer, and Comfortable: Brandorn Follow @brandonlgtaylor In a fantasy novel, how come everybody can afford high-grade wool? Also, how come everyone eats the same soups and drinks the same beer? 5:03 am - 21 Aug 2017 362 Retweets 1321 LikesO 50ti 362 1.3K Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Replying to @brandonlgtaylor How come in a fantasy novel, if the winters are so hard and cruel, you end up with all those pages of huge ass thick oak trees????? 2t25 276 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 IF THE WINTERS ARE SO HARD AND THE SOIL IS SO CRAGGY AND ARID, THEN HOW COME YOU GOT ALL THESE FORESTS?! IT DON'T MAKE SENSE 5 t28 325 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 How come nobody invents anything. How come all your carts look the same? WHY ARE THERE NO SMALL BUSINESS PEOPLE?! 05 t: 21 292 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Your middle class. Where is it. Like, where is your merchant class, fam. Your realm has an economy, surely, where are they 07 t: 20 317 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 You're probably doing feudalism wrong 93 ti 17 256 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Oh, yes, tell me about how all of the nobility have been in power for the same duration and they all recognize each other as legitimate tl 16 263 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Your cadet branches. Where are they 4 196 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Why do you think agnatic primogeniture is remotely interesting? GIVE US COGNATIC GAVELKIND 99tl 23 316 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Why are you so afraid of science. Why. Why. How boring Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Oh, a literate woman who must hide her intelligence and scheme behind the scenes. How groundbreaking. Wow Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 More gay sex. For everyone 91t24 369 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Gender. Get rid of it. 2t3 332 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Oh, a woman who disguises herself as a man in order to fight as a warrior. How feminist of you 93 ti 30 284 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 You want to be realistic when it comes to patriarchy, but your characters' teeth aren't rotting out and everyone wants to kiss them. Okay ti 74 468 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 You devised several schools of magecraft, but you expect me to believe that the kingdom's laws are applied uniformly throughout the realm Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 You spent the entire book telling us about the succession of the king, but forgot all the succession laws in the individual fiefs. Oh. Okay 93 ti 13 188 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Why is your king not worried about his dukes consolidating power via marriages and alliances? Idk. Seems important. 93 t5 260 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Oh, your main character is a religious cynic so you don't have to worry about creating a system of faith for your world. How convenient. 5 tl 22 269 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Who domesticated the wheat that you're using to make that bread? 4 t 217 Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Who invented the process of making all that ale your characters are drinking. And why are they drinking it year round? How???? Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Uhm, also, who is breeding all of these horses? And where did they come from originally? Like, how did they end up here? Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 How did they agree on a systematized measure of time? Or of anything for that matter? Distance? Weight? Volume? Are there time zones? Brandon @brandonlgtaylor Aug 21 Epic fantasy reads like the notepad doodlings of the laziest history nerds on the planet. <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/164974800512/thespectacularspider-girl-poorpoorpitifulme" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://thespectacularspider-girl.tumblr.com/post/164974727869/poorpoorpitifulme-boyonetta-sunderlorn" class="tumblr_blog">thespectacularspider-girl</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://poorpoorpitifulme.tumblr.com/post/164974366977/boyonetta-sunderlorn-finally-someone-said" class="tumblr_blog">poorpoorpitifulme</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://boyonetta.tumblr.com/post/164960162684/sunderlorn-finally-someone-said-it-all" class="tumblr_blog">boyonetta</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sunderlorn.tumblr.com/post/164487606354/finally-someone-said-it-all-of-it-all" class="tumblr_blog">sunderlorn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>FINALLY 👏 <a href="https://twitter.com/brandonlgtaylor">SOMEONE</a> 👏 SAID 👏 IT. 👏 ALL OF IT.  👏ALL AT ONCE. 👏</p> <p>(Thank you <a>@fallingawkwardly</a>​ for bringing this to my attention.)</p> </blockquote> <p>if u tell me u would read three hundred pages detailing the extensive process of domesticating the wheat that made the bread that the main character is eating ur either lying or ur really into wheat in a way i’m not entirely comfortable with</p> </blockquote> <p>Besides, in the real world, wheat was domesticated around 8000 years ago in the Middle East and spread to Europe (assuming the kinds of fantasy stories he’s complaining about are set in Fantasy Europe) long before the medieval era, so it’d be completely realistic for people to just act as if wheat were always domesticated and not think about it. </p> <p>Also, there really weren’t many entrepreneurs during the feudal era given that limited liability wasn’t a thing and getting stuck in debtor’s prison for a failed business venture was basically a death sentence. There would have been craftsmen and merchants and suchlike, but not really the culture of “small business owners” he seems to be envisioning. Equally, the middle class as a large-scale phenomenon wasn’t so much of a thing until the decline of feudalism in the late fifteenth, early sixteenth century.</p> <p>And all the nobility being established at the same time and all more or less recognising each other’s claims was basically exactly how the history of England went after the Norman Invasion. All the major noble families of the feudal era (and most still around today) could trace their lineage directly back to the first group of conquering nobles that came over with William I, and this difference in their origins from the common people would have been immediately obvious even after hundreds of years.</p> </blockquote> <p>Pedantic:  The Twitter Screed</p></blockquote> <p>Pedantry without true knowledge</p></blockquote> <p>I mean if you want to get pedantic and specific on a fantasy world you could always read the entire appendixes for LOTR.</p>
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