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Animals, Bad, and Be Like: Human Surfer Sea Turtle Sea Lion mary-margaret-musical-mess gxrardweigh splendid-oxymoron: ayellowbirds thefingerfuckingfemalefury averyangryfeminist aythedukeoduwang the-little-plurmaid oceans-seas The reason why sharks attack surters Please follow Oceans & Seas httplloceans press Duh. Ever notice shark attacks are only one bite because sharks have a taste oh human and are like blegh this isn't what I ordered>c Sharks also have really really really bad vision so everyone- be nice to sharks I remember I did a report on hammerhead sharks and theyre truly just dopey idiots that'ti just bite you and be like "wow fuck thar and just piss off lol Unless theyre reeeaallyyyy hungry Sharks are so cool Sharks are so vital to our oceans, the ecosystem and the health of the world. Please be kind to sharks SHARK APPRECATION POST Sharks are important okay and also super cute and they just wann a swim around doing shark stuff They do not want to eat humans they are not scary evil monsters, they are cute as heck sea animals which the ocean needs Stop hurting/kiling sharks ( Sharks also, sadly, have only one appendage that is any good at manipulating objects their mouth. Thus, if they are curious about something. they do the same thing every thirteen-months-old child does, and investigate it by nomming it in other words, I believe the solution to prevent most shark attacks is to give sharks arms #armthesharks2k15 arm the sharks #armthesharks2k15 Source oceans-seas 296,737 notes Sharks are innocent
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Ass, Dude, and Fucking: 1. Where the hell do testicles go when you sit on a bicycle? 2 Testicles. They're just weird. How do you not sit on them accidentally all the time? Why are you constantly 'adjusting" them? Why does a mere tap to them incapacitate you? The whole gelting hard thing is weird. Can you feel the blood rushing to your penis? Like it seems weird to have an appendage that you feel the bload rushing to and throbbing. Say my arm, for example. that would be a weird ass feeling to experience. P women its more internal and deep. Our cit tingles and such. But for men its just so extemal and different it seems The dick...bounces. When it's aroused, it will go erect, but then Ill suddenly touch his thigh or take off my shirt and it will bounce up and down like an excited dog and for some reason thats so fascinating to me. I found it pretty funny the first time I saw it 5. Back-stabbing with boners. Why? just get sick of them poking me in the back when Im trying to cuddle with a guy. 6. Why don't guys wipe when they pee? I mean the tip is probably a little wet from pee. Do you just gnore any urine that gets on your underwear? Shaking it can't totally get all the pee off. There's no way I could just shake the pee off of my parts. 7. Having some reason that's just...mind-boggling to me. a stick hanging between their legs. For 8. Haw do you rum with things between your legs? 9. When they put their hands in their pants... Why? I asked my S0 this last night and he just said it was a habit, but I've seen other guys do this before. So weird to me. 10. Recently my girtfriend discovered that if I need to pee when Im pooping I will do it sitting down. his amazed her. She asked her brother if he did. too. She still isn't over the fact that guys pee sitting down when pooping. 11. Why don't you use soap when washing your hands after draining the lizard?I mean..thats just nasty 12. Their fascination with boods. And how they seem to forget that boobs have nerve endings and hurt when you poke or hit them. They aren't bongos. 13. How violently guys greet each other, 14 Spitting! Why do men always spit? It's not like they can't swallow it It's so gross! 15. Why farting and pooping is so damn funmy. Every guy ΔΎve ever known has made some joke about Taking a huge dump.or about Taco Bell burning their butthole. 16. The absolute fucking buffoonery they engage in. I have an idea Let's all punch each other on the arm and see who can tolerate the hardest punch. WHAT? Hey guys, let's jump into a cactus. DA FUQ? yo dude, watch me run my jeep into a brick wall SERIOUSLY. HOW DO YOU ALL LIVE PAST SIX? 17. Their savage and inconsiderate lack of manscaping. When they don't shave, and expect the girl to be shaved. I mean, some hair is okay, but when I'm deep throating you, I don't need your hair in my mouth as well 18. The fact that any time you put a few of them together, action happens in some form or the other. Girts don't do this, butI wish we did. Leave like 5 girls together and we ll talk leave 5 guys, and weird shit happens.It's very entertaining though! SORRY FOR THE LONG POST HERES A POTATO 18 Girls Describe The Weirdest Thing About Guys
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Bless Up, Booty, and Crush: well hi there @DrSmashlove See that bashful look on the left, Bruh? That's a woman's expression after she just took it way, way too far on yo ass. A little argument got opened up. Little bitty argument. U like "Hey baby. You bought 2% milk. I like vitamin D in my coffee tho? No biggie I'm just saying for next time." Aw nah. Aw hell nah. She was already mad. FVCK your vitamin D milk Bruh. That's when she open up that: "OH MR 2% HUH. CAN'T DRINK 2%. WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO RIGHT HUH? WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO EXACTLY...LIKE YOUR MAMA...OR YOUR EX. GOT ANY OTHER CRITIQUES WITH YOUR CRITIQUIN' ASS? HOW ABOUT LEMME CRITIQUE HOW U DON'T EVEN TELL ME I'M PRETTY ANY MORE. U WANNA CRITIQUE ME? CRITIQUE ME MOTHERFVCKER! WHAT ELSE!! I'M PRETTIER THAN ANY OF THESE NASTY HOES WHOSE PICS U LIKING ON THE GRAM! UGH! U DISGUST ME! I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT U!!!!!" And u just standing there in utter disbelief with your coffee rethinking the entire relationship and that's when she give u puppy eyes. That's when she realize she done opened your heart like a open heart surgeon, took a little poop inside your heart, sewed your heart back up, and then now u coming back to life and her eyes are like "wow baby I really pooped on your soul, here's some crushed hospital ice while your heart heals up I feel bad now." Men when this happens, do not encourage. Do not be an enabler. Do not "baby it's ok" her ass. When she trip like that, that's when u toss her ass on the bed like a rag doll and give her that "I'm extremely mad at u for a valid reason" pipe. Channel all of your scorn into your penile appendage. Go ham and bananas on the Punani, u feel me? Smash them cheeks to smithereens. U Paul Bunyan...and yo PP is a axe. Chop that booty in half Bruh. U earned it. SHE earned it. Hit corners of the Punani u never hit before. And don't be nice. No pleasantries. Just the steely determination of a man who earned a well-deserved anger-smash. And I tell u this. Ol girl gon be wetter than the cot damn Nile River on yo ass Bruh. U gon strip the bed down after and even the mattress gon be wet. Bam. Win win. U feel me? THAT'S HOW TF U END A NON-ARGUMENT - BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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