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Bad, Friends, and Funny: THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Link to story) Everyone loves the first day of school right? New year, new classes, new friends. It's a day full of potential and hope, before all the dreary depressions of reality show up to ruin all the fun I like the first day of school for a different reason, though. You see, I have a sort of power. When I look at people, I can...sense a sort of aura around them. A colored outline based on how long that person has to live Most everyone l meet around my age is surrounded by a solid green hue, which means they have plenty of time left A fair amount of them have a yellow orangish tinge to their auras, which tends to mean a car crash or some other tragedy. Anything that takes people "before their time" as they say The real fun is when the auras venture into the red end of the spectrum though. Every now and again l'll see someone who's basically a walking stoplight. Those are the ones who get murdered or kill themselves. It's such a rush to see them and know their time is numbered. With that in mind, I always get to class very early so l can scout out my classmates' fates. The first kid who walked in was basically radiating red. I chuckled to myself. Too damn bad, bro. But as people kept walking in, they all had the same intense glow. I finally caught a glimpse of my rose- tinted reflection in the window, but l was too stunned to move. Our professor stepped in and locked the door, his aura a sickening shade of reen funny ny.co Woah I was not ready

Woah I was not ready

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Family, Memes, and New Year's: While we're out celebrating with our loved ones this CNY, this Navy officer is not with his family but out at sea, protecting us back home Chew Chun Cheong 57 mins. Lunar New Year Eve, 15 Feb 2018 Yesterday as our fellow Chinese Singaporeans prepared and enjoyed their reunion meals with their loved ones, members of the #vanguards donned our uniforms, bade our families farewell to sail out for Singapore Straits. Though it is a familiar routine for our crew to ensure Singapore maritime security #247 , there is a tinge of disappointment in everyone's hearts as we had to miss reunion meals with our families on Lunar New Year Eve. Looking back 76 years ago on this day, Singapore fell to the Japanese after the British surrendered. Coincidental or not, it was the first day of Lunar New Year in 1942. This struck us and reminded us that we can depend on nobody but ourselves to defend our Nation, our Home. Yes, we missed our reunion dinner on the eve this year, and our loved ones will need to count down toๅˆไธ€without us. But we know it is a small price to pay for the peace that we enjoy today. We are proud to be able to contribute and make this little sacrifice for the peace and security of our Nation. To all services personnel who continue to protect our Everyday during the festive period, Happy Lunar New Year! Bravo Zulu! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE! Well said! While weโ€™re enjoying this festive season with our loved ones, letโ€™s remember and appreciate the ones defending us, making all this possible ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ sp

Well said! While weโ€™re enjoying this festive season with our loved ones, letโ€™s remember and appreciate the ones defending us, making all thi...

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Confidence, Memes, and Smooth: BADLY PLACED FILLER FROM ANOTHER PRACTITIONER THE CONSULTANT CLINIC WE DISSOLVED TO THIS WE REFILLED WITH 2-3 ML An inexperienced nurse, injected filler so poorly into this patient's lips, that we had to reverse it entirely by dissolving it all and allowing it to settle. Never compromise on your own face and the identity you present to the world? It's far more expensive and upsetting to have to correct the face than get the treatment administered properly the first time around? You can see the bluish tinge in the top photo, through the skin of the upper lip. This is when the filler has been injected badly and is too superficial - known as the "Tyndall effect". So, we worked over several sittings to give her the most gorgeous pair of lips. The practitioner had overfilled the top lip and placed the injections in the wrong depth and unevenly and as you can see - the results were relatively disastrous. She had odd pockets of lumpy filler all over her lips and creating not only an ugly ridge above her mouth, but an uncomfortable one within it. Some of the injections were so superficial within the upper lip, that the skin appears translucent and unnatural. The end result detracts from her beauty, rather than enhance her as intended. So how did we do it? ๐Ÿ‘€We dissolved her filler carefully๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰ using several painless injections of a dissolving enzyme. We waited a little timeโฐโฐ for this to leave the body and set about refilling the lips. This time using considerable skill, and patience.... sculpting the lips prettily to smooth them out and create a natural but glamorous look we think she looks stunning, and she was genuinely thrilled with the results, and brimming with newfound confidence. To book into one of our clinics in London's Harley Street, Newcastle's Osborne Avenue, Greater Manchester, Liverpool's Rodney Street, Dublin in Ireland or Birmingham - email us at info@consultantclinic.com but please be aware that there is a small waiting list owing to demand. perfectlips perfectha lipaugmentation lipfiller dermalfillers juvedermsmile doctorsonlyclinic consultantclinic London harleystreet Liverpool rodneystreet lancashire lipfillers lipaugmentation lipcorrection manchester correction lipcorrection aestheticscorrections botched botchedlips
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Ass, Bless Up, and Bruh: Chick Magnet @DrSmashlove I been said before that God created men with a degree of physical strength over women, so God granted women a degree of intellect over men. I love it when u bozos get in my comments like "HAHA WOMEN ARE *NOT* SMARTER THAN MEN WE ALL KNOW THAT." Ok lemme tell u another story to prove it. So I meet this dude at a work function right. Homeboy had two boys and his wife was pregnant with number 3. She wanted a girl. She went to two ultrasounds - they said issa girl. But then she read that sometimes the ultrasound tech gets it wrong when they say it's girl when it's a boy but he got a small PP or his PP hidden so she told this dude: "I need a ultrasound." He said "aight schedule one." She said "no they'll make me wait two weeks. I don't want to wait two weeks." He said "well what are you gonna do that's how it works." Next morning she wake up feeling pain, she call her OB and say "I'm feeling pain - it's a miscarriage - I've had two before - I know what it feels like." OB said "ok come in asap for an ultrasound." So she shows up and they take a look and everything ok. And homegirl dead ass says "thank you Doctor. One more thing. Can you confirm the gender for me? ๐Ÿ˜" And that's when homeboy knew. His wife had just faked a miscarriage so she wouldn't have to wait for a ultrasound. She even admitted it after. BRUH - I CAN'T WITH YOU WOMEN. YALL DONE FIGURED OUT THIS ART OF PULLING LEVERS. WE ARE POWERLESS. AS FUCK ๐Ÿ˜‚. Lemme ask u: let's say u a old man and u start dating a young ting and she ain on birth control and y'all got a vaca coming up and u want a vasectomy but the Doctor all like "I can't get you in for another month, I'm sorry." What u gon do. As a man. U gon take her lil ass on vaca and she gon get pregnant. Ask a woman how she'd finesse a vasectomy on one day's notice. Ask her. I don't know what she'd say...but she'd GET THAT SHIT DONE. MEN, WE DILLY DALLY. WOMEN EXECUTE. BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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