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Ass, Bad, and Books: Alanya Kolberg 19 April at 21:27 MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me. "You can tell them no, Carson," I said. "Just say no. You don't have to say anything else." Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, "He doesn't have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will!" That got me some dirty looks from other parents. Here is the thing though: If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, aml required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No! Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again. <p><a href="http://matt-ruins-feminisms-shit.tumblr.com/post/159985485021/dainslefsblog-scrawnyflannelman-kasaron" class="tumblr_blog">matt-ruins-feminisms-shit</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://dainslefsblog.tumblr.com/post/159983920386/scrawnyflannelman-kasaron" class="tumblr_blog">dainslefsblog</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://scrawnyflannelman.tumblr.com/post/159982671121/kasaron-coca-cola-official-fierceawakening" class="tumblr_blog">scrawnyflannelman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kasaron.tumblr.com/post/159981254195/coca-cola-official-fierceawakening" class="tumblr_blog">kasaron</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://coca-cola-official.tumblr.com/post/159981165906/fierceawakening-dendritic-trees" class="tumblr_blog">coca-cola-official</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fierceawakening.tumblr.com/post/159977672760/dendritic-trees-northstarfan-monteyjames91" class="tumblr_blog">fierceawakening</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dendritic-trees.tumblr.com/post/159977380274" class="tumblr_blog">dendritic-trees</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://northstarfan.tumblr.com/post/159975677411/monteyjames91-bogleech-topographygo" class="tumblr_blog">northstarfan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://monteyjames91.tumblr.com/post/159975415692/bogleech-topographygo-bogleech-mom-of-the" class="tumblr_blog">monteyjames91</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/159968948333/topographygo-bogleech-mom-of-the-year-where" class="tumblr_blog">bogleech</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://topographygo.tumblr.com/post/159968788412/bogleech-mom-of-the-year-where-was-this-attitude" class="tumblr_blog">topographygo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/159968630278/mom-of-the-year-where-was-this-attitude-when-i" class="tumblr_blog">bogleech</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>MOM OF THE YEAR. WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHEN I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>This is so weird, it’s a park? Who the hell thinks that a child they don’t know is obligated to share their possessions with their kids just cuz they play in a public space?</p> </blockquote> <p>It might vary with where you live and when you were a child but when I was tiny, every adult from teachers to family to television characters hammered into me non-stop that all good people ALWAYS SHARE EVERYTHING no matter what and only bad people keep even a single thing for themselves. “Sharing is caring” was the phrase repeated ad nauseum by songs and books and cartoons aimed at us toddlers.</p> <p>I remember my own uncle just insisting I give him literally half of my dessert once to just sort of test and make sure my parents were teaching me “right” and copping a massive attitude when I said no. <br/></p> <p>My mom actually sided with me there but most other adults I knew would never have done so. They’d have just lectured this small child on how selfish it is to not let just anyone and everyone have what you have.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I would teach my kid this</p> <p>If you don’t know them like that and they trying to put hands on your stuff before even asking you, you have the right to tell them no and I will cosign</p> </blockquote> <p>Amen. There’s a difference between teaching a kid to be generous and training them to be taken advantage of. A little boy getting mobbed because strangers wanted something he had – and not one adult saying anything about it! – makes me think far less of the parents of those kids than Ms. Kolberg. <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Definitely. There’s a big difference between teaching kids to share shared objects, like toys in a preschool, and their own personal things.</p> </blockquote> <p>Yep.</p> <p>I remember my friend insisting I share my hard to find action figures with her. She took one with her somewhere and lost it. (I don’t think she was quite mean enough to outright steal it.)</p> <p>Just because someone really likes something you have and says SHAAAAAAAARE doesn’t mean you should.</p> </blockquote> <p>Private property</p> </blockquote> <p>Taking notes; these are things I hadn’t considered when raising someone.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is super important. <br/>It’s DANGEROUS to teach your children that “sharing” means they get other people’s stuff. That’s not what the lesson should be.</p> </blockquote> <p>I can’t even let some of my coworkers use my shit without them ruining it, you bet your ass I’m going to teach my kid that sharing isn’t mandatory, especially with random people out in public.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Thank you this pisses me off and I see it all the time. A kid will be playing quietly and someone else will come and take something from then with force. Then when the fight starts parents come rushing over and the first thing the kid who stole the toy always says is “He wasn’t sharing.” No you ripped it out of his hands you little fuck. And then the kid who had something taken from him is now getting a talking to about how we need to share and the diplomatic solution is to let the other kid play with it for a while and take turns. And 9 times out of 10 the only reason the other kid wanted it in the first place was that someone else was using it. Kids are like that they only want it because someone else is enjoying it. Teaching kids to be pushovers and others that simply taking what they want is effective.</p><p>Whoever was using it first or whoever owns it has every right to keep it. Instead of teaching kids they have to share teach them to wait their fucking turn or deal with the reality that you don’t get everything you want just because you ask. Teach them that it’s nice to share, absolutely but not that it is always mandatory. </p><p>Glad this mom and others get it.</p></blockquote> <p>I was like &ldquo;so much this&rdquo; when I read this on Facebook. It&rsquo;s such a good point. &ldquo;Sharing&rdquo; does not mean you&rsquo;re entitled to other people&rsquo;s things. That&rsquo;s how you raise your kids to be liberals.</p>
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