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80s, Bless Up, and Clock: Meet Eddie, the Hospital Therapy Dog who is always carrying around his bookbag of toys and can always be found in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit @DrSmashlove Reddit u/Stuffy Unicorn Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy but a real one, an unironic one lol. And he look like Tom Brady in the face but he burly like Tom Hardy. And he got no shirt under the overalls just manly. And my girl like “Aren’t you cold?” And in a syrupy southern drawl he say “mayam - I werked one year as longshoreman in Alasker. One tam - my toes done froze off, lost two. But I survaved. An I don’t git cold no mowar. 🤠” He reach under the steering wheel, pop the hood, walk around, flicks it open, props it up with only his arm, grab wiper fluid out of the bed of his truck which also houses a deer he just shot, opens it with his mouth, pours the fluid, replaces the cap. I’m in awe. My girl even more in awe. He grab a blanket out of his truck and wrap up my girl and he like “just makin sure yer old lady’s warm, sir 😌. Would yall lak to come to my home for some deer steaks before continuing yer journey?” And I’m like “wow what a gracious offer u know what MSNBC and CNN are wrong about y’all, rednecks are amazing people” and just then. Right then. My girl hop out the whip. I’m like “WOMAN! IT’S SNOWING?” And she like “you don’t want steak then suit yourself I’M HUNGRY. We could have stopped at Ponderosa like I asked but you said we almost home WELL SMASH WE AIN’T.” And with that she retreat to the redneck’s truck. “But baby,” I said. “We got a nice home. Like the republican Family in Strangers things 😥.” “That might be true” she say “but money can’t buy happiness.” And just like that they ride off in the sunset. People always say “I was born in the wrong era.” BIH! NOT ME! In the 80s u could lose ya girl over wiper fluid! I’m not handy but I know how a Neapolitan suit should fit in the shoulder and how to tastefully appoint a living room with Eames chairs and Mies van der Rohe bench but still make it vibe with heirloom pieces like a grandfather clock! Bish I’m aesthetic asf! I was raised with sisters! And it’s ladies who, combined with my wondrous tung and pipe game, and my brand of earnest empathy, accept my type of manliness lol! Thank you God!! Bless up! 😂😂😂

Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy b...

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Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high return rate @DrSmashlove Reddit ulyerawizzardarry Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ®️ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ain’t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin 🤤 before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say “I am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU 👏 DONT 👏 WANT 👏 ME 👏 TO 👏 FALL 👏 IN 👏LOVE 👏THAT’S 👏WHEN 👏 THE 👏 CRAZY 👏 COME 👏 OUT 👏 NOT 👏 THE 👏 GOOD 👏 CRAZY 👏 BUT 👏 THE 👏 BAD CRAZY. 👏BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhh” *digs manicure nails into scalp* “I ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DON’T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😩” — You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv 😂 - I start going down under and y’all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe it’s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I don’t have long hair and anyway my hair don’t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe it’s another movie entirely that I ain’t even in!? “Well smash now I KNOW you don’t know as much as women as you purport to...some women can’t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP 🛑 TRYING 🛑 TO 🛑 CONTROL 🛑 OUR 🛑 BODIES.” Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him that’s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ain’t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ain’t came out yet jus wait on it 😂. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP 🤗😍😂
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Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick Pic: reddit u/anonimverse Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE 😁". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all 🌶). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies 🤗😂. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp 🤗😍😂😂😂
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Children, Crying, and Family: llamajun: indigenous-rising: girljanitor: deducecanoe: haiweewicci: nativeamericannews: Sacajawea: If Not For Her, We Could Be Saluting the British Flag Few women in U.S. history have had more influence on the nation’s history than the young Lemhi Shoshone woman, Sacajawea. It’s very likely that Lewis and Clark would never have reached the Pacific Ocean had it not been for her help. White settlement would have been different. Indian wars throughout the western half of the country would have been altered. We might even be saluting the British flag rather than the American flag. Sacajawea’s role was gigantic. MY GIRL. She is of our tribe and we are so proud of her out in Inyo County. The Lewis and Clark thing was just a small part of her epic life. She was actually born with the name Poi Naipi (Little Grass Maiden). She and two of her friends (Nai Nukkwi, Patsu Naipi) were kidnapped by a hostile band of Hidatsa, who had a strange practice of replacing their own dead children with the children of other tribes. Poi Naipi’s “adopted” parents didn’t like her much so instead of sending her home they freaking sold her to a drunken French guy named Charbonneau. This man was bastard incarnate. To put this into perspective: He had once been stabbed in the face in Manitoba when he was caught raping a young girl there. At this time, being forced to marry him, Poi Naipi was about 9 years old. And, he already had one other child bride. He was very abusive, he drank a lot, and at some point Poi Naipi started calling herself Tsaikka Tsa Wea. It means in our language, “One Who Carries a Burden.” You see how this got corrupted to Sacajawea over time. At one point on the LC expedition Clark caught Charbonneau beating Tsaikka Tsa Wea and her newborn son. Well, Clark and Lewis beat the crap out of Charbonneau and told him to knock it off. Later, after the expedition, Clark paid for Tsaikka Tsa Wea’s son to go to school and live in his home. That’s not even the cool part though. As an older woman Tsaikka Tsa Wea said “To hell with this, I’m going home.” This was a pretty big thing to do, understand that she had practically been raised by her abusive scumbag husband and it is very hard for women who have been systematically abused since childhood to learn to stand up for themselves, especially against their aggressors. But, she did it. Traveling all by herself, she found the Northern Shoshone encampment on Wind River, where Chief Wusik-He was with some Eastern Shoshone (and some Western at the time) (this would later go on to be the permanent Eastern settlement, those guys are still out there today). She was reunited with her brother, who by that point had been named Daigwani of the Northern Shoshone. Everybody welcomed her home, her friends, her family, and she broke down crying to hear them call her their “Lost Woman” (Wadze Waipu). For her resilience and cunning she was appointed the personal advisor to Wusik-He. As a very old woman was buried with the name “Chief Woman,” later her son and her nephew were buried on either side of her. Those graves are still there on Wind River today. Poi Naipi and the Wide Ridge Clan, never forget you, your story is always being told. Miikwa katukan, tunna wunupuhantu tung’atiwan naangwunupuhantu Wow. What an amazing woman.  *tears* pilayayame tȟáŋtaŋhaŋ wičhówoyake rebloging for haiweewicci:’s comment. Unexpected feelings. That’s some powerful stuff, and not something I was ever taught in school.
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Ass, Bad, and Be Like: Well it seemed to be like a good place to nap. Dr Smashlove @nevecampbell I seent u, ma. In that soft core sex scene in House of Cards, Season 5 Episode 11. I seent the way Doug Stamper manhandled u in that black lacy underwear when he grabbed yo ass as u kissed his curmudgeonly, middle-aged bulldog lookin ass face - I seent u, ma. Jiggling. Not a high key jiggle but low key one. A graceful lil jiggle. U got a lil fatty, ma. Not a big fatty like one of them asses where u gotta get special jeans because regular jeans don't pull up over them cheeks but a "little fatty". Every man love a little fatty. Or as I call it, the "surprise fatty". Like the clothes come off and "surprise! I got ass, u just couldn't see it 🤗" <- that's the "pulling booty cheeks apart emoji" or as I call him "Chief Bootyhole Inspector". @nevecampbell lemme be skrate up with u, ma: I been in love with u since the "Wild Things" movie with Denise Richards y'all were the original bad ass white girls and that crush never left. You, Kelly Bundy from Married with Chirren and Kelly Kapowski from Save by the Bell Bruh that was like my dream team but u was the captain of the team (ok Blanche from Golden Girls was on the team too ... 😞😂). With that said, I want a future with u, ma. U sexy. U Canadian, which mean u a guaranteed freak. U got a lil fatty - I have a proven track record in turning lil fatties to big fatties 🤗. Let's do this. I earn a comfortable wage, I cook, I'm humble...also I promise outstanding dick game and tung game for as long as we both shall live so help me God, amen. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
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