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Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think Differently. This Guy Nails It. Women are much more complicated than men. Men are very simple. And you know why? It's because their brains are so different. First, I want to start with men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women don't realize that whether we are having sex or watching sports, our brains are made up of little boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a box for the car. We've got a box for the money We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch other boxes. Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire. And everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car and the car is connected to your job and your kids are connected to your mother and everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember...everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion and it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about everything. And she just loves it. Now men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing. Now they've actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing, and still breathe. Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to watch a man doing nothing. laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

Baller Alert, Chicago, and Girls: R. KELLY INDICTED ON AGGRAVATED SEXUAL ABUSE CHARGES WITH MINORS BETWEEN AGES 13 AND 16, JUDGE ISSUES NO-BAIL WARRANT BALLER ALERT READ MORE: www.BALLERALERT.COM R. Kelly Indicted On Aggravated Sexual Abuse Charges With Minors Between Ages 13 And 16, Judge Issues No-Bail Warrant - Written by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ RKelly has reportedly been indicted on charges of sexual misconduct with underage girls between the ages of 13 and 16. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A Cook County judge has issued a no-bail warrant for the arrest of Robert Sylvester Kelly, well known for his stage name “R. Kelly,” the Chicago Sun-Times reports. The charges that were passed through a grand jury span from 1998 to 2010, the girls involved in the case were between the ages of 13 and 16, prosecutors allege. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This will be the beginning of Kelly’s second battle against the justice system for allegations that he has been abusing, raping and sexually assaulting underage and adult women for more than a decade. These new movements were seemingly sparked after the release of Lifetime’s documentary “Surviving R. Kelly,” and the recent MuteRKelly movement. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Earlier this month, a grand jury came together to look over the new allegations against the singer-songwriter, a source close to the case says. A videotape of Kelly having sex with an underage girl was turned over to the State’s Attorney’s Office by attorney Michael Avenatti. In the explicit and clear ....…to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)
Fucking, Life, and School: DONNY CATES. @Doncates , Dec 11 I promise you dont really want to read a book where Eddie is doing fine and everything is awesome and everyone is happy. That book is boring and you will not like that book Or maybe you would. I dunno. I'm not writing that book symbisexual-disaster:*glances wearily at my 5,000 bookmarked fics in which everything is awesome and everyone is happy*  Honestly this just shows what a shallow understanding of story writing he has and I don’t know how he got to become a writer as a result of this.Conflict makes a story interesting but it’s pretty clear that a) he only has 1 idea of conflict (tragedy) and b) he sees no room for character growth (because anything other than tragedy is considered boring and irrelevant and therefore we never see characters put into different situations and he doesn’t have to write them react to anything other than tragedy).Showing Eddie and Venom doing well doesn’t even have to be the whole series (honestly I’d find that pretty boring too after several issues as much as I want to see Eddie and Venom grocery shopping or going to the farmer’s market). The point of doing so is a) character development and b) a break in the storyline from any current conflict. As much as peace/ trivial aspects of Eddie’s life will get boring after several issues, so will conflict. I’m really tired of seeing overblown issues left right and centre and absolutely no pause given to Eddie’s development (not to mention he’s regressing because of shitty writing).That one scene where Eddie’s speaking to V but seemingly himself when he’s eating noodles and V’s asking for a bloody steak? That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. It’s literally 2 pages of Eddie speaking to himself, being very kind to V, then snapping back at a stranger who’s weirded out by him and he and V then proceed to have a conversation about innocence and stupidity. Not only does this show Eddie’s a dick in day-to-day life which contrasts with his ideas of being a good person and saving the innocent, it also shows V’s basic (but forming) ideas about human characteristics and personalities and Eddie has to do his best to help V understand innocent =/= stupid. That’s all it fucking took! 2 pages of a regular conversation between Eddie and V! Then you can get back to whatever conflict is happening!Donny Cates never graduated from the school of ‘I like these characters and I’m going to make them suffer’ and it shows.
Ass, Bad, and Bitch: c3po sandy cheeks would ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this. varkarrus mr krabs would've voted trump lishadra Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump. Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand Plankton would've voted Trump. You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it. legarcon Bubble Bass Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God Dammit. Fuck. the-collecting-turnip Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump fgsshinyhoard okay im just gonna put down my things here Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him Krabs would never respect a guy who upted not vote for him himself four times, he would Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist re- ceiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field. Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote for anyone Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad words" during their campaign. Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point. Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services. Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person. Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he's a wealthy narcissist. Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote ohdebt Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't convince me otherwise Gary is a snail, which is seemingly the cat of the Spongebob universe, so he can't vote. However, Gary is more intelligent than almost every character on that show, and would never vote for Trump if he could Source: c3po #i fucking died # she has a record 332,823 notes Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm
Advice, Ass, and Bad: Follow i keep seeing these posts romanticizing Peresephone and Hades. like hozier and florence welch should duet cause they're like persephone and hades. or cute little myth aus or fan art and edits of people's faves styled like them and it's like this: Persephone wasn't some young girl in love with a bad boy. She was fucking abducted and raped by hades. her mother mourned the loss of her child her time spent in the underworld wasa myth about why plants die in winter. when she is depicted in art the subject is usually 'The Rape of Persephone' that shit isn't romantic. that is fucked up. x hades #that shit is fucked #read a book 1 note that is fucked up ked #read a book I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry Is OP aware that oh so many books exist on this subject? And that almost universally the ones authored by people with doctorates in classicism and mythology disagree with OP? Including the... epic hymn that first told this story? You know what's in that original source material.. right? Abducted, yes Demeter mourned? Definitely Rape, no abduct So here's some info on Ancient Greek wedding traditions which (oh my stars and garters! included abducting the bride. With the father's permission, which Hades got before he took her away Here's a whole book on the subject of Ancient Greek wedding custom and its conflation with funeral rites. (Which sounds a bit like Hades and Persephone to anyone who's ever dabbled in things like explication and context) Here's a link to another book that talks about Persephone's rise to power as a result of her willingly eating the pomegranate seeds Oh shit!l Here's a whole bunch of myths and hymns that talk about her Queen of the Holy pug tacos Batman! Here's another book about the myth focusing on the seasonal religious and liminal rites WHICH TAKE PLACE IN THE DRY SUMMER (not the fucking winter), which you know if you read a book Way to go, OP All these fucking books! What could anyone possibly do with them all?1?171? Do you eat books to absorb their powers instead of read them? A better guess would be that you got into a moral panic over the name of a certain Renaissance statue and maybe after reading three pages of Edith Hamilton or the first paragraph of a Wikipedia article. And then used that to castigate and demean not only the people who actually take their limited time to create gorgeous art but also to denigrate modern day worshippers of Persephone and Hades? Maybe next time, you stringy plece of over-boiled okra, you might want to take your own advice and pick up a book, instead of reducing the feared and respected Queen of the Underworld who held power equal to or in many interpretations GREATER than her husband into a meaningless pastiche of female disenfranchisement that you seemingly plucked from your own ass. JESUS CHRIST THANK YOU Perception of Persephone
Af, Being Alone, and America: MARIAH CAREY Not Another White Girl Trying To Sing Black' Daughter of Black father and White mother is hottest new artist By Lynn Norment ARIAH CAREY has a score to settle. Last summer, soon after her debut recording started racing up the record charts, she says a music critic referred to her as "another White girl trying to sing Black." Carey, indisputably the hottest new artist of the year, was infuriated A hit on Black and White charts, Mariah Carey is biggest new pop star since Whitney Houston 54 EB NY March 1991 Continued on Page 56 Denying reports that she is a White star imitating Blacks, talented singer-lyricist poses (left) at New York luncheon. "My father, Carey says, "is Black and Venezuelan, my mother is Irish. That makes me a combination of all those things." MARIAH CAREY Continued sing a certain way. I'm just trying to be Because she and her mother moved And now, here at a luncheon at Lolas me. And if people enjoy my music, often, she didn't have many close n Manhattan, she has the then they shouldn't care what I am, so friends or get involved in high school music programs. Instead, she spent af- straight and "tactfully" correct the Carey says she has always loved to ter-school hours writing songs and ing, and she gives credit and thanks to making demo tapes with longtime ac- perfect opportunity to set the record it shouldn't be an issue erring critic. "Im not a White girl trying to sing her mother for the "genes. Her quaintance Ben Margulies Black," the 20-year-old singer says in mother started giving her vocal lessons I 1987, right after finishing high an interview soon after. “My father is when she was four years old, and she school at age 17, she moved from her Black and Venezuelan, my mother is spent considerable time around her mother's home on Long Island into a Irish. That makes me a combination of mom's musically talented friends, one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan all those things. I am a human being, a soaking up the sounds of Billie Holiday with two other struggling performers During this exceptionally lean period, As a kid, she also spent a lot of time she slept on a mattress on the floor and Though barely out of her teens, Ma- listening to the radio and her sister's worked as a waitress, hat checker and riah Carey is indeed her own woman records. The soulful sounds of Gladys restaurant hostess to make ends meet She grew up in New York with her Knight, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Before and after work, she diligently mother, Patricia Carey, a vocal coach Wonder and Al Green were constant shopped her demo tapes from record and former singer with the New York companions. She sang along and stud- company to record company, but was person. What I am not is a White girl trying to sing Black. and Sarah Vaughan City Opera. Her parents divorced ed the lyrics and arrangements. By basically ignored when she was three, and Carey had an the time she was in high school, Carey ther, Alfred Roy Carey, an aeronautica which appear on her recordin a brother, 29, and a sister, 30.) back on-and-off" relationship with her fa was writing her own songs, several of up to Brenda K. Starr, and she was reg ularly doing studio session work. "We engineer in Washington, D.C. (She has Gospel music was also a great influ became good friends, and she helped ence. On occasion, she accompanied me out a lot," she says of Starr. "She Some people look at me and they her paternal grandmother, who is was always saying, Here's my friend see my light skin and my hair," she says Black, to a Baptist church. Even today, Mariah, here's her tape; she sings Eventually she began running a slender, neatly manicured she says, "I get up and go to bed listen- writes..。。.. hand through her long, semi-curly, ing to gospel music." Her favorites i It was Starr who took Carey to the honey-colored tresses for emphasis. "I clude the Clark Sisters, Shirley Caesar CBS party where she was discovered can't help the way I look, because it's and Edwin Hawkins, in addition to Ar me. I don't try to look a certain way or etha Franklin and Al Green 56 At t Sony Music Entertainment) president Continued on Page 58 EBONY March 1991 ways felt kind of different from every one else in my neighborhoods. I was a different person-ethnically. And sometimes that can be a problem. If you look a certain way everybody goes White girl, and I'd go, No, that's not Carey chose to express her inner- most feelings in her songs rather than become depressed and bitter. You re ally have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, Im proud of what I am and who I am and I'm just going to be myself And for Carey, that translates into being a "respected" singer and song writer. But her phenomenal success has not inflated her head or her bank account, for she has yet to realize any monies from the album's success. The days when she and two struggling roommates stretched out a boxed mac aroni dinner for a week are still too Vivid, she says And, no, I don't let stuff like this go to my head, because success isn't a scale for talent," says the singer. I don't want to be a big star,' but I want to be respected as an artist. I'm de- Black singers, Carey lighted and very thankful [that people Influenced by Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin and other started writing songs ike her work] in high school. She is a big gospel musio fan. "This is my love," she says emphat ically. "I want to sing for the rest of my MARIAH CAREY Continued more than two million copies. In At this point, she sings every chance Tommy Mottola a demo. In return, he ically, Carey wrote "Love Takes Time" she gets. In the studio. During promo gave her a Great-another demo for a second LP. But when Mottola tional stops. In the shower. Around her tape" smile, and Carey assumed it was another dead end. But on leaving the heard it, he insisted on stop g the one-bedroom Upper East Side Marn hattan apartment. To the boyfriend/ affair, Mottola popped the demo into but album, even though some record singer she's known since high school presses and adding the song to her de- his limo's tape deck. He liked what he ings were already in record stores heard so much that he immediately re- To her two Persian cats Carey says she was just as startled as Singing makes me incredibly turned to the party to find Carey. But anyone that Vision of Love" hit so big happy," she says. "Music makes me im she had already left because "it isn't hip-hop music, it isn't measurably h Having no address or telephone house music, and it isn't rap. But I am number did not deter Mottola from so glad and thankful," she says. That tracking her down. Ironically, another song really represents everything in record company had expressed mild interest in Carey, and a bit of a biddii war evolved my life. It is a song from the heart. ing Consider the lyrics: "Prayed through the nights/Felt so alone/Suf In December 1988, she signed with fered from alienation/Carried the CBS Columbia Records. Within a weight on my own/Had to be strong/So week she wrote Vision of Love" for I believed/And now I know I've suc- her debut album. In fact, she wrote ceeded/In finding the place I con- lyrics for all l songs on her self-titled ceived LP, and she even produced Vanish- the lissome artist with the clear, passio- inging "America The Beautiful" at the Just why would such a seemingly tender womanchild write these words Columbia went all-out to promote of despair and sing them with suclh deep passion? nate seven-octave voice, flexing a little "Well, just because you are young clout to get her the coveted task of doesn't mean that you haven't had a hard life," she says with a knowing lit 1989 NBA finals, where she was ex- tle smile. "It's been difficult for me, posed to 16 million people. Both "Vi moving around so much, having to sion of Love" and "Love Takes Time grow up by myself, basically on my have gone gold, and the album has sold own, my parents divorced. And I al EBONY March 1991 festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

Christmas, Church, and Fire: writing-prompt-s Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They're throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn't seem to mind mababees "You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck." "Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could avoid the whole 'Revelations' shite. Nasty business, that." George, who's name has been kindly changed from Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in his hands. It promptly bursts into flames. "Good job, love. Now go find the rest." George's face makes no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat on the head for his efforts. talieclandestine As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even though the powers he uses aren't "good". When she gets calls from the school, it's about a rambunctious boy that won't sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence. It's at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he's improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of fetch, though "Oh, he'll forget how to do that when he falls in love the first time," Your mother laughs, smiling wide. "How do you know that," you ask bewildered "Because, you did The Story of the Antichrist
Beautiful, Facts, and Memes: Mysterious Photos Of Unexplainably 'Crooked Forest' lin Poland Sometimes the strangest sights are found in nature. In this case, 400 pine trees in the northwest of Poland appear to be almost normal, but they are not. If you look at the base of these trees, you might feel like you’ve just entered a strange mystical fairy tale. All of the trees have the same northward 90-degree bend at the base of their limb. Known as the “Crooked Forest,” this unique site remains an unexplained mystery. Every tree in the Crooked Forest has the same haunting bend, but despite bent beginnings, all of the trees have grown to be tall and seemingly unhampered by their C shape curves. Some experts believe that the trees grew like this because they incurred some sort of damage to the tip and along some side branches. Trees are resilient, and so they continued to thrive, relying on the one branch they had left to take over complete function and grow upwards. Whatever damage occurred to one tree must have happened to them all because they remain uniform in deformity. The Crooked Forest is around 80 years old. It is estimated that the damage that made them look how they do today occurred when the trees were about 7 years old. This would have been before the Second World War reached Poland. Which helps to explain the most popular theory about how the trees came to be crooked. As the story goes, in 1930 a group of farmers planted these trees, intentionally damaging the base in order to create some sort of product, perhaps uniquely shaped furniture. The world may never know if it’s true because the farmers were unable to finish their work after the invasion on Poland during World War II dismantled their plans. ⇒Love ❤️, flow 💬, serve ✨⇐ . . . . . . . . . . . . . nature habitat geyser science amazing facts video natural italy sand wow instatag facts instafun instavideo videos spiritual beautiful london amazingfact memes mindblown fact magic insta sun trees tree poland Credits: 📷 Kilian Schönberger

Sometimes the strangest sights are found in nature. In this case, 400 pine trees in the northwest of Poland appear to be almost normal, but ...

Cars, Confused, and Crime: ainaraoftime bus drivers who re-open their doors when they see someone running towards the stop are neutral good. any other kind of bus driver is automatically lawful evil SOaringsparrows chaotic evil: the bus driver who saw me running to the stop and waited until i was at the door to close it and drive away 43501 Time to bring back my husband's fucking legendary bus story: Taking public transport for the first time in over two months, I made my way to the stop five minutes early. On my way there, I spotted my bus which also happened to be early (the chances ikr) and frantically waved for it to wait for me... which it did, up until I tried to board. I took a bit of time crossing the road because of some confused traffic and when I finally made it, the driver slammed the doors shut in my face and took off on me. "I am taking this bus!" Determined to catch the bus which rused me, seemingly on purpose, I took chase, but it quickly became evident that I could not outrun something that wasn't made of flesh and bone. Defeated, I crawled back to the bus stop and sat down, resigned to my fate of waiting another 45 minutes. Then, not one, but two cars (with people inside) pulled up and told me about how they'd seen my valiant effort and offered to chase that bus down for me. The first I politely declined, but the second man felt responsible for slowing me down at the crossing and insisted he take me to the hospital aft least as he was picking somebody up from there, anyhow. After bonding over a short drive with Mr. Wayne, he dropped me off at the medical center and left, presumably to fight crime. A few moments later, the same bus arrived at FMC. Taking no chances this time, I leapt on board (OK, OK... walked aboard) and stared the driver, who looked as though he'd seen a ghost, dead in the eye and calmly stated, "I am taking this bus." Source: ainaraoftime Bus drivers
Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts @Garrett_Watts Something sad happened today that inspired a thought that l'd love to share with anyone who cares to read this. I mean no shade to any one person with my words but I've seen remarkable, generous people be needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd like to shed some light on it. 7:561 < iCloud June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM Something heartbreaking happened today that inspired a thought which inspired this post. I broke my favorite wand. No, that is not an analogy for anything. I broke my wand and it broke my heart. This may immediately seem like this is about to verge into the territory of being a comical post... which is a natural assumption when a grown man states that he had his heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I very much mean what I am about to say because this seemingly silly piece of wood breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on it) made me realize something that I would like to publicly address. A behavior I have seen flaring up on social media recently, and that is, people passive aggressively judging others for the things that they purchase, cherish & own. Stick with me here cause I have a point... 7:56 1 .uil Cloud For years, I have collected wands of all different kinds, and for years I have been lightheartedly teased by friends and family for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my love of the Harry Potter novels that started this collection, but it's turned into something more. I have many wands from different carvers & countries and some of them are so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot believe I get the honor of owning themm Some of them taking their makers weeks, maybe months to create. tH To me, my wands are beautiful little manifestations of the importance of keeping ones imagination alive through the years. I even keep a few close by to remind me of this. This one was in my car because l sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this while blasting Missy Elliot through my speakers, I apologize in advance. If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to where I'm going with all this 8:051 .ail iCloud Recently on social media I've seen a toxic little trend of people passive aggressively shading others based on the things they choose to purchase with their own money. Some of the wands (or other things I own) didn't come cheap to me, but we as people, buy things consciously & with pride bec they are important to us, and as long as they cause no harm to others, we reserve that right to use our resources as we see fit. ause So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy collection! Whatever! Allow people these things, & furthermore, if you're at all confused or intrigued about said purchase, don't silently judge them for making it or project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try politely asking them about it! If they choose to share with you why they've invested in something in their lives, you might just learn something beautiful & cool about them and make a new friend! Love - Garrett garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter
Best Friend, Chicago, and God: justlookatthosesausages: invisiblespork: ohhowlucky: danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Salt Pepper Diner THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile. [Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.  Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?  Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly… BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’ Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest. And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’  They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.] reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
Being Alone, Children, and Money: Children Killed by One Parent: 2001-2006 Mother, alone or with other 70.8% Father, alone or with other 29.2% Source: U.S. DHHS Child Maltreatment reports 2001-2006 <p><a href="http://feminismisahatemovement.tumblr.com/post/160554214303/the-us-department-of-health-and-human-services" class="tumblr_blog">feminismisahatemovement</a>:</p> <blockquote><p style=""> The U.S Department of Health and Human Services “Child Maltreatment” reports from 2001-2006, show that of children abused by one parent, 70.6% were abused by their mothers, whereas only 29.4% were abused by their fathers, and of children who died at the hands of one parent, 70.8% were killed by their mothers, whereas only 29.2% were killed by their fathers. <br/></p><p>A common and seemingly reasonable response to this is “well, women, as the primary caregivers, are exposed to children more often, so of course the data would show them as being more often the perpetrators of child abuse, by virtue of frequent exposure.” However, this removes all moral responsibility from the female, essentially citing exposure as an excuse for immoral behavior. <br/></p><p>Exposure does <i>not </i>excuse immoral behavior.<i> “Well, I work at a bank, so of course I had to steal the money.” </i>Adults should be expected to exercise self-control. Whether or not the data would be more balanced if men were more frequently exposed to the children (which we might know, if women didn’t win custody in over 90% of divorce proceedings, and if men weren’t still expected to be the primary financial providers), there still remains a problem, there still remains a victim, and there still remains a perpetrator who must be held accountable for their actions.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Feminists won’t waste a single opportunity to point out that men more frequently perpetrate domestic violence but when you show them women commit child abuse more frequently you could hear a pin drop.</p>

feminismisahatemovement: The U.S Department of Health and Human Services “Child Maltreatment” reports from 2001-2006, show that of child...

Children, Club, and Creepy: At the end of the road is a big old mansion that could house several families, but it only has two inhabitants: Old, rich Mrs. Poppel and her butler Adam. Mrs. Poppel was never much of a smiler, but there doesn't seem to be a mean bone in her. If children kick a ball into her garden she doesn't make a fuzz, just nods at them and watch as they retrieve it. Most days people can see her embroide own little ring by the window, seemingly caught up in her She is peculiar, but never bothers anyone She's just an old lady who spends her days sowing and socializing at the local book club Tell your sister I hope she gets well soon. Adam is quite different. Always smiling and friendly. Always ready to help if he has the time. He's incredibly popular in town,F not to mention at the pub when he has a few hours off. He drinks, laughs and sings, and can even be talked into playing the guitar if asked enough times. Women love him too, but he just winks at them and jokes that he's committed to Mrs. Poppel. It's his own fault that people started spreading rumors that he was really Mrs s live-in lover who had been put to work around the house Typically Adam he just played along. "I don't kiss and tell" When some drunk lads saw him walk arm in arm with Mrs. Poppel down the street, no doubt to steady her, they teasingly shouted "Taking your sweetheart out fora stroll?!" while making kissing sounds been up to now?" l looked up at him like, "What have you They're an odd pair, but they seem happy together in the big house Pork? Again? I'm sorry, Mrs Im still waiting for a delivery Adam even does things not expected of a butler, like gardening while she rests in a sun chair, which has only added fuel to the rumors SU way, Adam d every once in a while something incredible happens; Mrs smiles. No one knows how Adam does it, but neither is it a surprise to anyone It l An Only one truly odd thing has ever happened to them One night a neighbor saw a man sneaking around the house testing the cellar windows. The bedroom. That's where old ladies keep all the good stuff She didn't see him get in, but suddenly he was gone so she grabbed the phone and called the police, just to be safe. What!? She's still home? That means her boy-toy has to be somewhere in the house too- Huh? Adam opened the door dressed in a robe when the police rang the doorbell. He woke up Mrs. Poppel and together they could confirm that the house hadn't been broken into. The officers couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but gave Mrs Poppel a number to call if they saw anything The following day a man by the name Eric was reported missing. He had lived a rough life of petty crime and robbery, and sometimes didn't contact his friends or family for weeks so it was impossible to say when exactly he disappears. It could have been that same day, or two weeks prior People wondered if maybe he had been the man sneaking around outside Mrs. Poppel's house, but everyone agreed that it was probably just a coincidence. After all, people like him went missing all the time in the surrounding towns. And even if it was him, what did it matter? Mrs. Poppel and Adam were good eople who were loved by the whole town. There was no reason to cause trouble for them, no matter what their relationship was. Besides, Mrs. Poppel had one of her good weeks after that night, seeming a lot more cheerful and happy. It would be a shame to ruin it. thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities. I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light. There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy.

thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/d...

Definitely, Future, and Goals: WILLIONAIRE MENTOR IALWAYS WIN. NOT IMMEDIATELY BUT DEFINITELY. So you want the winners mentality? Read on!👇 ✔️Play to learn. How do you maintain a winning mindset when you lose? Champions have the mindset that if they lose, it is still a win because they learned something valuable. This allows them to interpret a seemingly discouraging experience as one that fuels determination. Look at times in your life where you have failed. Would you take that experience back in exchange for the lessons you learned? Likely, the future success you have had can be partially attributed to the wisdom you gained from your previous setback. You win every time when you play to learn! ✔️Risk = opportunity. An integral part of a winning mindset is seeing opportunity and risk as partners. In other words, you can’t have one without the other. I always wondered how some people found the courage to take risks continually. It’s because they understand that being risk-averse also means being opportunity-averse. Once I understood that, it became must easier to try something new and step out of my comfort zone. Here is why: I realized that risk can produce butterflies, but passing up a great opportunity will make you sick! It is all about how you interpret risk and opportunity. Can you guys relate to this one? ✔️Winning happens during practice. The will to win begins with preparing to win. “Practice like you compete, so you can compete like you practice.” ✔️They quit. People with a winning mindset make a habit of quitting! Now, I realize this seems a bit counterintuitive from what we believe about success. However, winners quit any attitude or action that is not moving them closer to their goals. They say, “DO” to whatever is contributing to their success and “NO” to whatever is delaying their success. 😉 - Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!👇 - success winner millionairementor

So you want the winners mentality? Read on!👇 ✔️Play to learn. How do you maintain a winning mindset when you lose? Champions have the mindse...

9/11, Africa, and Being Alone: now you kno! In 2002, Kenyan Masai tribespeople donated 14 cows to to the U.S to help with the aftermath of 9/11. nowyoukno.com thestoicgod: hutchj: thestoicgod: velocicrafter: markingatlightspeed: cyanwrites: iammyfather: evilelitest2: petitepenquin: mehofkirkwall: disputedthreshermaw: natrsrants: deadcatwithaflamethrower: jadedhavok: randomthingsthatilike123: gweatherwax: awesomonster: obese-starving-artist: the-treble: nowyoukno: Source for more facts on your dash follow NowYouKno That was super nice of them. And now I’m mad that nobody told us we were given cows. Cause that’s really f*cking nice and nobody mentioned it at all. American media tends to disregard that anyone donates to the US. And then Amurricans complain about money going abroad because “nobody helped the US in our disasters.” . Also, do you know how much a cow costs? O.O It isn’t just a matter of how much a cow costs, its a matter of considering that Masai life is based around their cattle. Its their wealth, their food, and a significant part of their religion. Here’s a quote from Wikipedia: “Traditional Maasai lifestyle centres around their cattle which constitute their primary source of food. The measure of a man’s wealth is in terms of cattle and children. A herd of 50 cattle is respectable, and the more children the better. A man who has plenty of one but not the other is considered to be poor.[37] A Maasai religious belief relates that God gave them all the cattle on earth, leading to the belief that rustling cattle from other tribes is a matter of taking back what is rightfully theirs, a practice that has become much less common.[38]” So its not just “they gave us 14 cows”, its that they gave us something that is very important and significant to them, it is more than just a kind gesture that definitely deserves to be known and its a genuine shame that more people don’t know about it. Wait, you guys DON’T KNOW that we offer help to the US when you have disasters??????? Shit, down here in Brazil we not only offered to send tracking units and doctors to help in 9/11 but we wanted to send a whole lot of donations to help with Katrina (we have experience with floods down here so we knew what kind of medicine to send to prevent outbreaks).  We alone had like 2 army airplanes full of medicine and non-perishables like baby formula, diapers, bottled water, mosquito nets and other stuff that’s needed to fight opportunistic diseases that hit flooded areas, enough to assist a good few thousand people at least, ready to go the day after it hit, but your government refused the donations.  The same thing happened to the Canadians and Europeans who offered help, the US embassies around the world told us all to give money to Red Cross. And so we did, we all gave hundreds of millions of dollars to them, and then this happened: Red Cross scandals tarnish relief efforts ‘Breathtaking’ Waste and Fraud in Hurricane Aid So please, don’t you go spreading misinformation and prejudice against the rest of the world, WE DID OFFER HELP AND ORGANIZED IT EVEN FASTER THAN BUSH DID, BUT Y’ALL REFUSED IT.  Oh wow I had no idea this happened it’s really not talked about in media at all wow this is something good to know about wow I’m so angry. I didn’t know that other countries tried to help after 9/11 or Katrina. Like, that’s something we, the people, should hear about and we don’t. Please don’t blame us for the shitty decisions our government makes. We don’t have as much control over our government as we would like to think and they keep a lot from us. Spread this shit.  After Katrina, Cuba donated several hundred blankets. Think about that. A country that is suffering economically due directly to the US embargo offered to help us when we needed it by sending what they could. And once again, it was refused. We have a government that is so self-righteous that we refuse to accept disaster aid in order to maintain this facade that we are the most generous nation on earth. Okay, Katrina thing.Only Texans really knows this? and even then it’s not wide spread.Mexico sent their army.They sent their army for relief efforts. Didn’t call ahead, they drove all the way to San Antonio with doctors and food and all sorts of supplies.When people actually got a call from them saying “Hey, we’re sending people up.”The people who answered said “What? We can’t…”“Too late, already there.”This was while the government was turning down help.So yeah, other countries send relief.Forest fires up in Washington last year? Firefighters from Australia came up to assist.Like… we don’t hear about this shit. At all. I can second the above with the fires.  Most the time, when people say “oh FEMA or something sent people right?” re: fires, its actually people from other countries showing up and kinda ignoring the government telling them to fuck off and staying on behalf of local departments because we REALLY need them.  If there’s a huge ass disaster, and the government is sitting there with a thumb up it’s ass, help is offered and most the time– shit, it gets there!But then the feds do something really fucking dirty.They insist they were the help, if it’s talked about at all.  They insist those people putting out fires were federal people, because to most people a fireman’s a fireman. The people handing out water and food, a relief worker is a relief worker. So on and so forth.  We had people come up when the fires were so bad a while ago– not the Australians, but i think there was like a German group of like 3 guys that flew themselves over? They came out of sheer “this is horrible and we’re helping” and my dad [local fire chief] had them working with our guys and the feds lost no time telling every news outlet that it was THEIR people doing all the fire knockdowns and structure work when these guys were running into buildings and grabbing people, pets, and people’s important documents because they knew papers were a pain in the ass to replace.  What you gotta understand is that our government is very intent on selling us and the rest of the world [as much as possible] the idea of a powerful and self reliant country. All our reporting on disasters, starts with the scaremongering and then moves to “but our people can handle it because we’re the best at handling things” and then they move on before the idea it’s out of control comes to mind. The average person outside of the disaster has no idea, if they have never been around such an event or met someone who regularly deals with these things, they will kinda probably nod along with that. Because we have no real scope on the scale and impact– by design. Our media intake is very controlled to slant everything to the “eh, we can handle it and everyone else out there– they need our help because they’re not so good at handling disasters like we are.”People who know better, reading international news, interacting with international social groups, looking outside their sphere of community– we know better but that kinda slant is really hard to break from because of that grip American media has on information.So, taking that knowledge, we further have restricted reporting on certain disasters because they’re considered unimportant. Hurricanes are considered important, earthquakes are only considered important if it wrecks something the government cares about or somewhere a couple million people live that they’ll upset the national money flow/they can throw money at someone to make the news care, floods are only important if it’s in a similar manner to earthquakes but since they occur annually they’re rarely reported on nationally, mudslides that kill people or leave hundreds homeless aren’t important to the government even through they happen constantly, wildfires that consume most of the nation/continent each year generally are unimportant until they consume a town or threaten a government interest/money flow location. Terrorist attacks are always important because people will talk about them. So, when we do get help for any of the above, it’s possible that most people may have no idea about what’s happened, let alone that help’s been sent. Or if people know something happened, the details are vague– the news don’t care to give the nitty gritty. You’ll know something happened and people are suffering and “gee, isn’t it good you’re not them” and then now the weather. So, yeah, basically no one really knows we get help. International response to Hurricane Katrina: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_response_to_Hurricane_Katrina  We got HELLA help, but nobody really talks about it American Media really fails regularly  Hurricane Sandy, Quebec sends power line crews down to assist in restoring power.  California gets rid of water bombers due to budget cuts, Canada sends theirs down to help fight wild fires. Amazing what living on the border and having outside TV News does to your information flow. After Katrina, Denmark offered to donate water purification units so people wouldn’t get sick from drinking contaminated water, but the offer was declined. A private Danish company built a mobile satellite phone booth and drove it around the poor neighbourhoods in Mississippi and Louisiana so people could call their families and insurance companies for free (apparently there was a deadline for reporting damages but people couldn’t call in because their mobile phones were dead and landlines were down). American propaganda is not a thing of the past, nor is it a new thing. It has been around forever, telling stories of exceptionalism and self-reliance while our government tries its hardest to refuse the help of others and offer its own to them, to try and force other nations onto their back foot and remain aggressively benevolent in international matters, so that it can lord that shit over them in negotiations and the media in general.I guarantee you America would have a less jingoistic, less xenophobic populace overall if this sort of information were actually reported to us. If we weren’t always fed the lie of helping the world without any gratitude or help in return. If the media didn’t present us as world police and instead as a part of the community, as other countries try hard to include us as, then maybe Americans would actually act like they’re part of a fucking community.But global citizens are hard to monger fear and distrust and xenophobia and nationalism with. They’re hard to control with propaganda and hate. They’re hard to keep ignorant and docile and saying “this is fine” while the empire burns.A lot of Americans wonder why our country is seen as a worldwide bully. Shit like that, my friends. Shit like that. Its hubris is seemingly limitless. C O M M E N T A R Y FYI: They left out the part where America’s rudeness kicked in and turned down the offer of the cows. The US government is really tryna kill its people. Someone offered water purification units and they were like “nah,” let those tricks get sick. @hutchj how about the U.S. passed a law recently making CBD, the non-psychoactive derivative of cannabis, illegal as a Schedule A drug, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO REDUCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES IN CHILDREN TO ZERO among a dozen other ailments having been reduced to nominal levels allowing ppl to function normally (ADHD, chronic pain, IBS, menstrual cramps, Alzheimer’s, etc). Doctors around the country (that Big Pharma can’t buy off) are fighting back for their patients’ well-being. 😡
Advice, Future, and Ironic: eggrollie art has been hard lately but i made this banana today and its probably the height of my ability and i am ready novw a guest speaker in one of my classes recently gave some of the best advice I have ever received… 1. let curiosity be your compass - think about what you’re motivated to do, your affinity, your aspirations. what are the core reasons for your motivation? 2. impact is everything - if everything works out exactly as expected, why does it matter? what will you learn or change? 3. be James Bond - expose the side of yourself that will be received best. you don’t need to reveal everything about yourself upfront. 4. create strong partnerships - build a wise council. you only need three people: one who is a few steps ahead of you or where you want to be in the future, one who is progressing at the same pace as you, and one who is behind you but has experienced more. 5. to make space for what matters, you have to say no - we aren’t self-aware enough to know our breaking point before we reach it, so don’t be afraid to pass on some things. 6. create meaningful time - bingeing is not productive. establish clear morning rituals and practice contingency management. a slow and steady schedule is best. 7.when you rush from A to B, you miss everything in between - slow down and forget about your destination. take time to appreciate the path you’re on. 8.”the chief enemy of creativity is good sense” - be creative. just don’t lose touch with your common sense. 9.it’s supposed to be fun most of the time or something’s wrong - there will be spontaneous emotional breakdowns and seemingly impassible obstacles, but enjoy the journey of life billsimportantposts

a guest speaker in one of my classes recently gave some of the best advice I have ever received… 1. let curiosity be your compass - think ab...