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Clothes, Dank, and Drinking: maura quint @behindyourback maura quint@behindyourback 13h v One time a guy and I had flirted, he invited me to his room, I went we kissed, I said I liked it, he took off his clothes, I touched him, he tried to take off my clothes, I resisted, he said "seems like you're not into this" I said, ehhh, he said, no, it's only fun if you want it I want to tell a story: Once in high school, I felt insecure, I put on a tight top too low cut and dark lip stick I didn't usually wear. I went to a party drank terrible wine coolers, too many of them. A man asked me if I wanted to leave, I slurred, said maybe, He said "mavbe"? 7:33 PM-28 Sep 18 459 8,068 maura quint@behindyourback 13h v I said, l'm sorry, he said it's ok. I left unmolested. I was lucky, I hadn't met a rapist that night. 419 8,872 maura quint@behindyourback 13h And then he said "maybe isn't yes" and I went home that night, un-assaulted, because l hadn't talked to a rapist at that party 15t745 13.2K maura quint@behindyourback 13h v l've been assaulted. I've also been not assaulted. The difference didn't seem to be what I was wearing, how flirty I was, how much I was drinking. The only difference seemed to be whether or not the men felt it was ok or not to assault. maura quint@behindyourback 13h v Another story:I went out drinking with girl friends at a bar a few years later. I was flirting with a guy there, he grabbed my hand, pulled me outside, into an alley, he kissed me hard and then looked at me and said, "yes?" I didn't say anything. 274 6,408 43.9K 4 394 6,368 0 maura quint@behindyourback 13h v He said "go back inside then," maybe he was annoyed but he meant it, I went back inside. There wasn't a rapist at that bar. t 435 9,323 Saw this on TrollX and thought it might be appreciated here too: The difference between assaulted and not-assaulted by hovdeisfunny MORE MEMES

Saw this on TrollX and thought it might be appreciated here too: The difference between assaulted and not-assaulted by hovdeisfunny MORE MEM...

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Bad, Dank, and Family: Validating your wife's feelings. You don't have to understand the exact feelings in play to show solidarity. Below are some helpful phrases that may help you better express YOUR feelings about her feelings. She just wants to know that you care. She needs space to process what she's feeling before she is ready to move on to problem solving and logic. Give her this space and show your support by employing a response from below 1. An apology (one or more of these may apply, but likely only one will be necessary) "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings'" "That sounds like it sucks. I'm sorry" "I'm sorry I wasn't listening" "l'm sorry I made you feel that way" 2. A follow up (to show how much you care utilize one or more of the following that apply) "I didn't know that [action or statement] would make you feel [bad thing], you are [good thing] to me "Can you think of anything that would make you feel better?" "I hate that I made you feel this way." "I hope you know I would never do that on purpose" "I wish I knew how to make you feel better" "I'm not sure what I can do to make you feel better, but l'd like to try "I hate that my family or friend made you feel that way" "I hear what you are saying. It's hard for me to feel like I can't fix it" "I hope you know you are [good thing]. I never want you to feel [bad thing]" "This is hard for me too" "I don't quite understand what's going on. Can you explain it again or tell me how I can help?" "You don't need to yell. I'm listening, and I hope you'll listen to me next" "I really want to fix this, but you're going to have to help me understand what's wrong" "I didn't know you were this upset" "I can see that you're upset, but I don't understand why" "l don't know what to say" "Let's try to avoid another misunderstanding like this" "l see why you're feeling that way Would you like a glass of wine?" 3. She might also have some things to apologize for. Once you have apologized kindly using two or three follow up statements you can try to start problem solving. Proceed with caution. It's important that you don't rush from apologizing to criticizing Editor's note: this guide is intended to help turn your feelings into words that help a situation Please to do not simply read a response from this guide. You should still mean what you are saying My friend made her husband an apology cheat sheet (posted with permission). by jinx2369 MORE MEMES

My friend made her husband an apology cheat sheet (posted with permission). by jinx2369 MORE MEMES

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Clothes, Friends, and Fucking: Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue feels-for-the-fictional I have been waiting for this post all my life. marzipanandminutiae They are indeed purple, But one thing you've missed: The concept of purple Didn't always exist. Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his "wine-dark sea. A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold. So roses are red Violets once were called blue. I'm hugely pedantic But what else is new? ineptshieldmaid My friend you're not wrong About Homer's wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You've given short shrift. The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold. By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved For only the emperor! The word purple for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long Is almost magenta; More red than blue The concept of purple is old, and yet new The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue squeeful While this song makes me merry Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple Its long, but its good
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Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they're tragic famine victims who haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now because you're 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me artaeum the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it instructionsfordancing not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion lord-kitschener This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs catsuggest wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?! goldenmeme My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn't seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l went to double check that he did indeed have food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as l walked away he'd follow me screaming again. Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we're a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. teashoesandhair Things my cat has cried at: I wouldn't let her jump on top of the burning hot stove .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale the kitchen chair and jump on people's shoulders when they walked past I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough She ate her entire meal allowance for the day in one sitting at 9am and was famished by 10am I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet seat I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine bottle I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my rabbit had pissed on . . . Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and this is why they are perfect. wishyroses Cats are like two year olds but sharp Source: lord-kitschener 122,537 notes Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD
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Barbie, Crime, and Funny: magnusisms: aeolus06: the-peregrine-mendicant: doomsong13: fandomblogger: i-am-funny-and-you-are-not: 0nehundred-sleepless-nights: blainesbedroom: diamondintherough96: pudding-is-the-new-fondue: just-a-cardboard-box: a-very-not-royal-prince: sociopathhasthephonebox: you-cant-stop-the-moriparty: OHMYGOD.  Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?! WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt! Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie. OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE! …Seriously? People. Wow. Open your EYES. Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR IN WHITE PANTS??? CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT! Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1 Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya? Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES! I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL! what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?! omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!! THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman! theres a dead body
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Barbie, Crime, and God: fs you-cant-stop-the-moriparty OHMYGOD Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?! doomsong13 WTF Barbie you can't use a cutting board for a bulletin board doomsong13 BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt! just-a-cardboard-box Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie pudding-is-the-new-fondue OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE! LEAVE THOSE DIRTY diamondintherough96 ...Seriously? People. Wow. Open your EYES Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR IN WHITE PANTS??? blainesbedroom CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT! doomsong13 Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1 doomsong13 Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya? fandomblogger Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES! doomsong13 I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL! the-peregrine-mendicant what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?! omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry aeolus06 SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!! THAT WALLPAPER! IT'S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin' sense of style, woman! magnusisms theres a dead body best-of-tumblr You must be fun at parties You must be fun at party’s
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Clothes, Friends, and Fucking: ithendra writrs Follow satanpositive Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue feels-for-the-fictional I have been waiting for this post all my life marzipanandminutiae They are indeed purple But one thing you've missed The concept of purple" Didn't always exist. Some cultures lack names For a color, you see Hence good old Homer And his "wine-dark sea." A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold. So roses are red Violets once were called blue I'm hugely pedantic But what else is new? ineptshieldmaid My friend you're not wrong About Homer's wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You've given short shrift. The concept of purple My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye Imperial decree Meant that in Rome to wear purpura was a privilege reserved For only the emperor! The word 'purple', for clothes so fancy Entered English By the ninth century Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc known for so long Is almost magenta More red than blue The concept of purple is old, and yet new The dye is red So this might be true Roses are purple And violets are blue squeeful While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple e naomispeaks IT GOT BETTER writrs When english majors really need to write a paper, but get distracted 96 691 notes Its obvious when you think about it.
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America, Beer, and Church: Someone made a collage of headlines saying what millennials are Killing ow Millennials Ended the Running Boom Millennials are killing the beer industry Now millennial hipster millennials are illing the Big Mac Are Millennials Killing Credit? are killing Did Millennials Kill the 9-to-5 Workday,or Just How millennials killed the focus group Point Out That It's Dead? Millennials are killing chains like Buffalo Wild Wings and Applebee's Millennials are killing a $1 billion diet staple Have Millennials Killed Serendipity Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned Millennials are killing the dinner date How ilemials Are Ruining the hur dered By vwiseotial Murdered By Millennials. Millennials Have Killed the Workforce Will The Millennial Generation Kill Home Depot? McDonald's McWrap PHne Witbont Faliric Soltemen PG Ldket How Millennials Lack Of Manners Is llenlals Have KileKling Class Why Are Millennials Killing Milennials are now ruining the Olymples Are Millenials Killing The Car Industry? Their Bosses Millennials are allegedly ruining hotels for every other generation Here's How Millennials are killing the napkin industry Millennials Turning Away From Cruises And Casinos Millennials Are Killing Lunch MILLENNIALS WANDERLUST IS KILLING THE CANADIAN TOURISM INDUSTRY Millennials are killing gyms Millennials Are Killing America: Why aren't millennials Well done millennials-you've ly ruined handshakes for everyone How Millennials Killed J. Crew Promiscuous" Millennials Are Killing McDonald's Will millennials kill Part One Millennials say American Dream is Dead? They killed it Millennials Are Millennials Killing the Vacation? home ownership Are Killing the Oil Industry Millennials are killing the Millennial generation could kill the Millennials have officially golf industry Did Millennials Kill Fashion? ruined brunch Have Millennials Killed Hotel Loyalty Programs? Did Millennials Kill The movie business Millennials leaving church in droves, Hangout Sicom How Millennials (Almost) Millennials aren't eating cereal because it's too much motorcycles, and that Millennials Aren't Hypocrites: They Just Prefer [kiling Harley's sales Millennials are killing the to Kill Trees study findsMillennials are killing department storesKilled the Wine Cork viking-badger: althor42: tastefullyoffensive: Enhance (via arbili) I honestly hope we kill at least half of those things tag urself i’m killing gyms

viking-badger: althor42: tastefullyoffensive: Enhance (via arbili) I honestly hope we kill at least half of those things tag urself i’m...

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Af, Apparently, and Crazy: My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky wwil Hjinks lately and I want to tel you a slory because I love it okay once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia Pujol was a chicken famer. Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists See Span had recently ended its civt war, with the fascists taking power So when wwll broke out in Europe, Spain technically remained neutrail but in practice was buddy buddy with the Nazis Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty bulishit so soon ater war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes heyI wanna spy on the Nazis for you who the fuck are you? say the Brtish, and kick him out but Pujol is not deterredl He stil wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local Geman embassy instead. hey he says, 1 wanna spy on the Brtish for you, I sure do hate them yeah okay say the Germans that seems pretty legit and just like that Pujol now officialy warks for the Abwehr, the German intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible Ink and such) and instruct him to travel lo Lisbon, and from there make his way into the UK So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a ltde while later writes to his German handliers teling them he's made it to England Pujol had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made t to the Lisbon public library, where he checked out a number of English guide bocks and set about just wholesavle making smr up this is sighy complicated by he fact that, for example, he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basicaly gibberish He also reported things like brioing Scotsmen, because the people of Glasgow would do anything tor a Itre of wine (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain lke wine so that's probably the same nigh? Here is where it starts to get realy crazy, because the Atwehr Joves tns woW this dude is a great spy they say because apparenty none of them had ever been the England esther. In fact, they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British stairt to get worried you see, by this time the British had cracked German's supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of ther-super top secret-radio transmissions. And, crucially, they'd become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were iterally no German spies in England. The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping duces in by parachute in the middle of the night), the Brtish would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies so there are no Geman spies in the UK because theyre all shting in a prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as double agents, feeding Genmany builshit) But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the Bntish do not have in their jail oh shit says MI5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy hey wait says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending someone is playing sily buggers, pip pip cheerio At this point, Pujol sll in Lisbon, had actualily been approaching the British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently 1 am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services wasn't interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again it want until MIS started asking around that one of the embassy staf was like oh yeah we know that guy so in 1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially becomes a spy for Mi5. They move him to London and assign him a case oicer so he can start making up even better bulshit and he does. Once actually in London, Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he d recruited a whole slew of informants from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to disaffected army officers. He ends up wih a network of 20+ sub-spies, all feeding him information from around the U none of mese people actualy exist Pujol just straight up invented like 20 people, keeping careful track of their fake personalties, names, and actvities with the hep of Mi5, the information he sends becomes even better- a mix of true but ultimately useless facis and actualy important intel tmed to artve in Germany just sightly too late to be af any use. He and his "spy network become the Abwehr's most trusted agents Pujol, now codenamed Agent Garbo (for his acting skils), ends up playing a huge role in the run-up to D-Day, where the Alies mounted a huge intellgenoe campaign to convince Htler that the planned sile of attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy (this was Operation Fortitude and you should absolulely look t up lor more Wacky WWll Adventures) Obviously you know how this ended crazly enough, the Abwenr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent After the war he recelved both the Iron Cross Second Class (which require personal authorization from Hitier), and a Member of the Order of the Brtish Empire (from King George Vi unable to resist being rotaly fucking ndiculous, Pujol tumed down MI5's post-war offer to continue spying, but this time against he USSR TO, he said just help me fake my own death and then I'm moving to Venezuela and thats exacly what he ad Juan Garcia Pujol died in 1988, at the age of 76 Okay I'm just editing my reblog to add this picture of Juan Pujol Garcia because I feel that t adds so much to the story to picture him doing ALL THE ABOVE with this expression: what a legend Juan Pujol Garcia:The first shitposter
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Candy, Elf, and Facebook: oo0 Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Search Starbucks 3 hrs . Hey Starbucks, as the unicorn frappuccino was so popular, thought I'd pitch a few suggestions for fraps based on other mythical creatures: Dragon frappuccino: Made with dragonfruit, cinnamon, and fiery hot chiles. A shameless ploy to acquire gold. Werewolf frappuccino: Seems like a normal chocolate frap (werewolves love chocolate) but the caffeine doesn't kick in until the next full moon. And boy howdy, does it kick in. Mermaid frappuccino: Extra foam and sea salt caramel drizzle. Comes with a free Danish in honor of Hans Christian Anderson. Centaur: Has an oatmeal raisin cookie crumble crust. Oats for the horse and raisins for the wine-lovina human Whinned cream is Write a comment.. Post o Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Q Searclh Fairy frappuccino: A delightful delicate flavor of honeysuckle and lavender, it has the unfortunate effect of making you fall in love with the next live creature that you see. Pixie frappuccino: MIXED WITH TGE POWDER OF WITH 15 PIXIE STICKS Elf frappuccino: Made with the most important food groups- candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. Keebler cookie crumbles Hobbit frappuccino: Only served in size tall. Get one for breakfast and get a second one free! Ogre frappuccino: Looks green and putrid on the outside, but has layers of different flavors that will Smash your Mouth Zombie frappuccino: like a normal frap, but with SEVERAL extra shots of espresso Write a comment... Post ooo Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Q Searclh Wizard frappuccino: Butterbeer Witch frappuccino: You'd think it would be the same as the wizard frap, but it has eye of newt and toe of frog #everydaysexism Yeti frappuccino: Tastes like a lemon snow cone, with Himalayan pink salt Alien frappuccino: They actually do have this in the Starbucks at one government building in New Mexico, but it's on the secret menu Ghost frappuccino: Zero calories. Probably just blended ice. Poltergeist frappuccino: Hurls itself against the wall after you pay for it Vampire frappuccino: Blood. It's just blood. 2 Shares Write a comment... Э| Post ooo VerizonLTE 12:49 PM Search egan Anne Fraedric Or most of these monstrosities 1 HOUR AGO LIKE REPLY 2 Write a reply.. Starbucks Hi, Megan. Thanks for the awesome suggestions! They raise some interesting food safety and supply chain concerns, but hey, maybe it'll just be a fun challenge for our product development teams who are used to more traditional sourcing methods. ;) 1 HOUR AGO LIKED 13 REPLY Write a comment... Post jackskellington84: sophettestuff: sanjha-a-kitani: schmergo: The official Starbucks facebook account reviewed my pitches for new Frappuccinos based on mythical creatures to follow the unicorn one I love how it starts out with the dragon one which could theoretically be done and then just devolves into “it’s just blood”. I know right jsjsjsj I love this too much

jackskellington84: sophettestuff: sanjha-a-kitani: schmergo: The official Starbucks facebook account reviewed my pitches for new Frappucci...

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Alive, Ass, and Beer: Ever seen this kind of image? BROS NOT BROS They just want to see what you're playing. You better thank them for giving your dumb ass honey and keeping the flowers alive and shit These dicks wear the bee unifornm to troll wildiife and YOU. Do not fooled, these guys exist only to fuck you up and don't care what you're playing Don't believe everything you see on the internet! BRO BROS They just want what you're thank them for dumb ass honey and he flowers alive and shit These dicks bee uniform to troll wildife fooled, these guys ex Do not ly to fuck you up and don't care youre playing Here are some facts about bees, wasps and hornets: 1. Bees, wasps AND hornets all help to pollinate flowers. So if you want to fucking live you better not clap these things to death 2. Hornets and wasps kill of ,.varmints" like caterpillars, mos- quitoes, spiders, horseflies and more 3. In a month ONE hornet folk can eat up to 15kg of insects. A wasp folk makes at least half of this in the same time 4. Wasp or hornet poison isn't more dangerous than bee poison. In fact: bee poison is three times more poisonous! 5. Wasps contribute A LOT to the quality of wine, beer and bread. They carry essential yeast fungus in their stomach and distribute them all around their living space. Over 17 yeast fungus have been found in the stomachs of wasps and none of them in bees. And they even bequeath them to their young So if vou prick want some ice wine, beer, bread and you don't wanna die by 2050 you better not smack these to death and act like a screaming little girl! In the end: every animal on this world has its purpose! Educate yourself Not too sure about humanity tho and for sorry my eng Potato bee Source: https://blog.wwf.de/umgang-mit-wespen/ I dont know how to make a long post tho
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