🔥 Popular | Latest

catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car : . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car
Save
sunroof: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa
Save
sunroof: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa
Save
catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car : . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car
Save
notthatjaded: kittydesade: squirtle-daddy: hunter-rodrigez: hebangshebangs: badgengar: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. 2017 and people are still trying to spread the myth that you don’t need to wear a seatbelt. People really don’t wear a seatbelt???? This reminds me of a story from WW1  When they first introduced Helmets to the troops fighting in trenches the number of head injuries suddenly skyrocketed and people wanted to take the helmets away again. Until they realized that the reason for this was the fact that most of these head injuries would have been fatal if it wasn’t for the Helmets. You always need to look at the bigger picture.   Lmfao ya rather save ya tiddies than go flying through the fucking windshield some of you guys are crazy Flying through windshields will also disembowel you and cut off your tits. I’m just saying. I was in a single car accident years back in my first car. If it weren’t for a tree ‘catching’ me I probably would’ve gone rolling. I was wearing a seatbelt. I climbed out of the car (out of the sunroof, actually, because the doors were jammed). The police that stopped and helped me basically said they’d seen people NOT climb out of accidents like that (and lesser ones!) because they’d not been wearing their seatbelts when it happened. Wear your damn seatbelts, people. : THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER notthatjaded: kittydesade: squirtle-daddy: hunter-rodrigez: hebangshebangs: badgengar: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. 2017 and people are still trying to spread the myth that you don’t need to wear a seatbelt. People really don’t wear a seatbelt???? This reminds me of a story from WW1  When they first introduced Helmets to the troops fighting in trenches the number of head injuries suddenly skyrocketed and people wanted to take the helmets away again. Until they realized that the reason for this was the fact that most of these head injuries would have been fatal if it wasn’t for the Helmets. You always need to look at the bigger picture.   Lmfao ya rather save ya tiddies than go flying through the fucking windshield some of you guys are crazy Flying through windshields will also disembowel you and cut off your tits. I’m just saying. I was in a single car accident years back in my first car. If it weren’t for a tree ‘catching’ me I probably would’ve gone rolling. I was wearing a seatbelt. I climbed out of the car (out of the sunroof, actually, because the doors were jammed). The police that stopped and helped me basically said they’d seen people NOT climb out of accidents like that (and lesser ones!) because they’d not been wearing their seatbelts when it happened. Wear your damn seatbelts, people.
Save
Ride with me, pupper. Ride with me. Let's face the open road together. Let's stop at Arby's and snack on processed roast beef-shaped meat product with extra BBQ sauce and curly fries. Let's hit gas station rest stops in small towns with that "cappuccino" machine that doesn't make cappuccinos but instead poops out an over-sweetened, frothy, milky coffee substance that ties your stomach in knots but low key taste good AF. Let me introduce u to my favorite records from Gucci Mane, 21 Savage, and maybe a lil Muddy Waters. Oooooh I surprised u with that last one, didn't I pupper ... see papa has diverse and eclectic musical tastes ☺️. Let me bust out a joint I rolled before the trip and blow this extremely good kush while we cruise at an altitude of 70 mph, pupper. Don't worry I'll roll down the windows and hit that sunroof, I can't imagine weed is good for puppies 😋. Pupper, I wanna cruise with you all the time. Will you be my lil ride or die homie on this journey of life? You complete me, pupper. You complete me 😍😂😂😂: Car rides with bae Drsmashlove Ride with me, pupper. Ride with me. Let's face the open road together. Let's stop at Arby's and snack on processed roast beef-shaped meat product with extra BBQ sauce and curly fries. Let's hit gas station rest stops in small towns with that "cappuccino" machine that doesn't make cappuccinos but instead poops out an over-sweetened, frothy, milky coffee substance that ties your stomach in knots but low key taste good AF. Let me introduce u to my favorite records from Gucci Mane, 21 Savage, and maybe a lil Muddy Waters. Oooooh I surprised u with that last one, didn't I pupper ... see papa has diverse and eclectic musical tastes ☺️. Let me bust out a joint I rolled before the trip and blow this extremely good kush while we cruise at an altitude of 70 mph, pupper. Don't worry I'll roll down the windows and hit that sunroof, I can't imagine weed is good for puppies 😋. Pupper, I wanna cruise with you all the time. Will you be my lil ride or die homie on this journey of life? You complete me, pupper. You complete me 😍😂😂😂

Ride with me, pupper. Ride with me. Let's face the open road together. Let's stop at Arby's and snack on processed roast beef-shaped meat...

Save