🔥 Popular | Latest

Bad, Energy, and Fae: m4ge iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip creanm you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids" Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks Actual conversation I had at register Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?" How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry?" A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?" Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me." At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being. Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it. "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am." How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually One then. alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. ta was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup. Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book. ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream my manager had. Good lord. When an elder one visits Starbucks.
Save
Bad, Energy, and Fae: m4ge walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation Ihad at register: Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? -I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am. How many can I add?" Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individualy One then." I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book A modern day coffee shop cryptid
Save
Chill, Drinking, and Fire: SOUND ACTIVATED CAR STICKERS S18.42 lb Stick this in your back windshield and wire it up. It puts on a little light show with some LEDs to the beat of your music. This thing is sure to make you like a douche on any occasion. DASHORN DRINKING VESSEL $29.95 It's hard to go wrong with ten 5-star reviews. Here's an easy way to liven up a party without actually drinking out of the tusk of an endangered animal. Das Horn is made out of BPA-free plastic and a stainless steel rim. It holds up to 24 ounces and comes with a stand. PRAYING MANTIS EGGS $7.85 Who doesn't want hundreds of praying mantises running around outside their house? I've heard this is a good way to get rid of bug populations. It can also land you with a neat little pet. MAGNETIC THINKING PUTTY S14.99 It's silly putty. It has all of the awesome properties of silly putty PLUS it's magnetic. This was a fucking awesome idea. It comes with a powerful magnet that you can use like a snake charmer like the picture above. SODA CAN BUG SCREEN S3.78 I have never been the same after a wasp flew into my Mountain Dew at the pool when I was little. Whoever made this deserves a medal. Unfortunately, they ship from the UK so shipping might be pricey. CROW MASK $34.95 Confuse the shit out of people with this detailed crow mask. With the overuse of the horse mask, it's time for a change. Someone should wear this with a black hoodie and chill out in a graveyard for a while. BUILD YOUR OWN BALLISTA KIT $21.99 ATT9.om This kit allows you to make a working ballista that you can fire from your desk. Using the provided ammunition, this thing supposedly shoots up to 30 feet. <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/160746295233/you-can-buy-these-stuffs-at-novelty-gift-ideas" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/">You can buy these stuffs at Novelty Gift Ideas</a></b></p></blockquote>
Save
Bad, Energy, and Fae: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow m4ge i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said i have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation I had at register: "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink." "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that? deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i. Do you still have the Add Energy' packets? My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam. How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually "One then. I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes. My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, Ihad one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book jennyboom21 So 5 shots isn't normal??? Source: m4ge 284,670 notes Starbucks Lore
Save
Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in public. 11/10 good boy Reddit u/aaronr93 @DrSmashlove A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
Save