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Blade, God, and Love: no INVADER5, FRIEND! JUST POPPED Out co BOBBOW MY BROCHER'S AX JARNBJORn FOR A BIC. no one 15 Anyone in JOTUNHEIM WITHOUT A BLADE, RIGHT? ...AnD I BACHER DOUBT THEY'D HAVE LEC mE KEEP HEIMDALL'S 5WORD. BIGHT on cue. WHAT HO, CICIZENS! HOW CAN YOUR KING SERVE HIS PEOPLE THIS FINE, BLUSTERY DAY? WE SAW THE BIFROST, "YOUR MAJESTY." WE FEARED IT MAY BE AN ATTACK FROM SOME...ASGARDIAN INVADER. RRG--THE SWORD THAT KILLED KING LAUFEY you'D BE CLOSE I KILLED LAUFEY THE SWORD HELPED. HADN'T YOu HEARD? I'm A HERO now. HERE'S A SECRET ABOUT JOTUNHEIM-- THERE'S MAGIC in THE AIR SNRRT BUT CHE AVERAGE DenIZEn 1sn't WHAT YOU'D CALL...ADEPT. MY TRIBE WILL RESPECT YOUR BLOOD CLAIM TO THE THRONE BUT SURRENDER THE IMPLING HE IS A NUISANCE WITH A CHILD'S MIND AND NO TASTE FOR BATTLE HE'LL COOK FASTER THAN ANY GOAT. 15 CHAC WHO I Am TO BE KING OF? A PACK OF CANNIBALS? IT'S NOT CANNIBALISM IF HE'S NOT ONE OF US. OF COURSE "not onE OF US." GODS, BUT I Am CIRED OF "HAVE AT HEARING CHAT. VERY WELL THEN THAT I5, IF I WAS FIGHTING FAIR. THERE'S onLY onE THING THESE GIANTS RESPECT. I'm GOING TO NEED TO GET A LITTLE BIGGER. XY DNX YB XY PYSR THEE." I'm COMPLETELY DOOMED, OF COURSE NO, YOUR MAJESTY! LIKE AN AVENGER. (YOu KnoW THE ONE.) DRBF! WHAC ARE YOU DOING?! I'm CASTINGA SPELL CO SAVE uS, you SUICIDAL SnoW monKEy! PLEASE, NO MORE! NO MORE BLOOD! NO. THIS OutComE WAS not ENTIRELY EXPECTED. SO BE IT! TO THE END OF KINGS!!! THE WAR IS OVER. HRRGMPH. WE'LL SEE THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAR. HE'S RIGHT, in HI5 5TONE BRAINED WAY AND I WAS WBONG. noT EVERYONE I15 BORN 5MALL WELL. THAT WAS EXCITiNG. PERHAPS NEXT Time, I SHOULD BORROW MJOLNIR. I IMAGINE I'LL BE WORTHY enouGH Any DAY now CHANК УOu FOR THE RESCUE, DRBF, MAKER-OF-Fun NUISANCE-OF JOCUNHEIM. 50mE OF U5 ARE BORN GIANTS. I HAVE An unusuAL PROPOSICION FOR YOu THIS I5 THE SCORY OF THE TIME AFCER THE WAR. OF HOW THE SMALLEST OF THE GIANTS CAME TO SIT AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE THRONE.... ...AnD A SCORY OF THE OUTCAST WHO WOULD SIT UPON IT. A NEW KIND OF KING. A NEW KIND OF GOD. ONE WHO BULES nOt BY THE BLADE GRUMBLE AS YOU LIKE, SICKLE, BUT THE SMALL ONE IS ANOINTED. AND PROTECTED BESIDES SRRF FOR NOW But BY THE SHIELD. TO BE CONTINUED IN KI why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua & David Curiel

why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua

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Brain, Cancer, and Chinese: The Surgeon Chinese Doctors bow down to an 11-year-old boy with brain cancer who saved several lives by donating his organs.He wanted to give another people a second chance he never got

Chinese Doctors bow down to an 11-year-old boy with brain cancer who saved several lives by donating his organs.He wanted to give another pe...

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Empire, Fall, and Food: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner mybigfatgaylife: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! I want this post and one of the “be nice to underpaid workers” posts to fight it out in the Tumblr Performative Progressivism Thunderdome.
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