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Bad, Beautiful, and Children: This hen hatched a clutch of ducklings after accidentally sitting on the wrong nest of eggs. The farmer said: "Hilda doesn't seem bothered at all the ducklings follow her around just as chicks would." MEME TAPİCTURE.COM more awesome pictures at THEMETAPICTURE.COM advanced-procrastination: gokuma: roddaprime: daysofstorm: dalmonite: “These are my children.” “They look nothing li—” “LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.” for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda. This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little, baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad the main problem is that baby ducks  LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it, so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives. This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond. if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children BEST ADOPTED MUM “Half my children are fucking idiots but they’re my children and i love them”
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Alive, Head, and Superhero: haiku-robot: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase-is-not-crash: segashark: chase2452: wow can u believe peter parker is a trans boy?? iconic. He’s not. if he’s not trans, then how can you explain THIS: You know if you’re going to call me a transphobe do It in the actual post and not in the tags. better? Yeah. But sadly you’re wrong, I’m no transphobe. are you sure? Yes because your straw man argument is completely idiotic. Peter Parker, the well established superhero isn’t trans. It’s simple fact. If the creator wanted them to be trans he would’ve said so. Now I have no issues if you want to make this head cannon but don’t try to push it as fact. pushing peter parker to be cis is also technically a headcanon You do realize being cis is the default. You literally come out of the womb one gender or the other. You can’t be born trans. And how is a fact of the character headcanon? to quote you, “I have no issues if you want to make this head cannon but don’t try to push it as fact.” Canonically he’s cis since the wiki calls him a male. Not trans male. And him being cis isn’t headcanon that’s how to creator intended him to be. And when I say “you can’t be born trans” I’m saying you can’t be born as the opposite gender you were given at birth because if you were you wouldn’t be trans you’d be the opposite gender. fun fact: transgender men have always been and will always be male fun fact: transgender men have always been and will always be male ^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help keep my meatbag slave alive.Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!

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Fuck You, Fucking, and Period: Deadline Hollywood @DEADLINE DEADLINE Follow lan McKellen Talks Impact Of "Wrongful" Sexual Harassment Accusations, Claims Some Actresses Exchange Sex For Roles deadline.com/2017/12/ian-mc .. 7:35 PM - 18 Dec 2017 67 Retweets 91 Likes Cessica my2k Follow fuck you deadline he said that in a disparaging way, that women were forced to do it and that that's wrong and an indicator of how fucked hollywood is don't you fucking twist Sir lan's words for clicks Deadline Hollywood@DEADLINE lan McKellen Talks Impact Of Wrongful" Sexual Harassment Accusations, Claims Some Actresses Exchange Sex For Roles deadline.com/2017/12/ian-mc.. 11:44 PM-18 Dec 2017 12,232 Retweets 23,166 Likes profanefame: fearlessinger: gahdamnpunk: Some journalists really need to be fired During a talk at Oxford Union, according to the Daily Mail, McKellen applauded victims for coming forward about sexual harassment saying “it’s sometimes very difficult for victims to do that.” He added, “‘I hope we’re going through a period that will help to eradicate it altogether.” He then went on to share his own experiences during the early ’60s. “The director of the theatre I was working at showed me some photographs he got from women who were wanting jobs,” he said. “Some of them had at the bottom of their photograph ‘DRR’ — directors’ rights respected. In other words, if you give me a job, you can have sex with me.” He pointed out how that was commonplace and said it was “madness.” Although supportive of the victims, he went on to talk about being cautious about the accusations flooding Hollywood as of late. “‘I assume nothing but good will come out of these revelations, even though some people get wrongly accused — there’s that side of it as well,” he said. OH THANK FUCK
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Gif, Target, and Tumblr: bolinbender: gerudobrujo: this is my favorite thing to come out of glee

bolinbender: gerudobrujo: this is my favorite thing to come out of glee

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America, Bailey Jay, and Be Like: Do you believe that advances in stem cell technology will make cosmetics obsolete? Three big earthquakes will shake the three superpowers; 1st big earthquake in Russia; 2nd (bigger one) in China; 3rd (biggest of the three) will be in America. NATO will nuke Ukraine to blame Russia for it; then NATO will nuke Russia from Scandinavia. China will at tack Russia, but will not get past Ural Mountains; bio-genetic weapon will be used against Chinese soldiers (they will run back to China and hide in closets in fear) and weather weapon will freeze Siberia to 200 Celcius; stadium-size chunks of unmeltable ice will fall from the lower sky (because when rockets go into higher sky they bring this ice down to lower sky). Russia will destroy Turkey and America. China will have a hole across the whole country to the abyss (because of another super weapon used to stop Chinese aggression), radiation from this hole will be massive; Chinese will try to keep quiet about it, a lot of people will fall into this hole Scientists don't see dinosaurs because of radiation. Only Eurasia and Alaska (both without coasts) will remain after demons blow up Antarctica (which surrounds the flat earth) and Greenland melts. Move to Ural Mountains or inland Alaska. Sionists want war between Russia and Germany over Serbia from June to October on their holidays because (666 times 3)+(6 times 3) 2016 (in their twisted logic) Tube people = demons. Clones = demons. Human costumes that demons wear-demons. Dinosaurs and 666ed peo- ple have triple stranded DNA; normal person cant swallow 666ed food (designed for 666ed people). Demons live inside clones. Bacteriologist Alexandre Yersin (who discovered Bubonic plague) is depicted on the Shroud of Turin. There is another shroud on which blasphemer Yosef (who was crucified on a pole in 1066 AD) is depicted. Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Lenin (el-deity in Hebrew, nineno in German; so, when chanted repeatedly is blasphemy against the Creato), and Yosef were possessed by Azazel; now, Rico Cortes is possessed by Azazel WW3 happens, 7% of people will be left, after people are tired of war, they will elect the antichrist as one world leader; don't vote. ISIS stands for Israeli Secret Intelligence Service. Next false flag: Statue of Liberty in order to attack Iran one big shake, one giant step forward, one giant collapse. Move away from coasts as nukes will go off in the ocean (at where tectonic plates meet, result: megatsunamis 1km high) Wear natural clothing so that if a bomb goes off it won't stick to the body as fast as synthetic clothes. All metal will be burned for fuel; so, save knives, crowbars, shovels, wood-burning stoves, etc. Also, save cloth/fabric/textile to cover the wounds and diseases Eat natural food because nanochips, cells of aborted fetuses, bug DNA, and other poisons are in food that is com- monly sold; reject vaccines, medical care, medicine, etc. because nanochips are administered thru IVs, implants, fill ings, etc. If 1000-1500 nanochips are in your right hand, then you can't make proper Orthodox sign of the cross with the right hand; last mercy for you then will be to cut the hand off Seraphim of Sarov and Sergiy of Radonezh will be resurrected after WW3 for a short time; Seraphim of Sarov will show the new Ruski Tsar who will fight the antichrist for about 2 years and 8 months. Those who go see Seraphim of Sarov will be healed of their infirmities/illnesses/sicknesses/ diseases; if you want to see him then, hurry because he won't stay longer than a few weeks Earth is flat; stands on 3 pillars (the Most Holy Trinity); pillars stand on water at zero Kelvin. Zodiac is planetary prison of demons; don't believe in horoscopes or you'll exhibit the traits of the trapped demons. Most thoughts and dreams are from demons; demons never do good. Sleep fully clothed; pray the Jesus prayer. Pray to your guardian angel to have normal sleep Humans were created about 7525 years ago. Ruski Orthodox Christian Vyacheslav Krasheninnikov was the last prophet before Enoch and Elijah return to preach against the antichrist Birds participate in time creation. It's a sin to kill birds. Dinosasive under our level. They will get out through sinlk holes and lakes. To kill them, go for their nerves. Save the birds. but kill the dinosaurs. First dinosaur will come out of Volga River in Russia Demons grow human skin (from a sample taken during abduction) and put it on so as to look like us. Demons will in- vite people to be healed inside their UFOs, those who go will be like zombies after. Govt provides demons with dia- monds and allows demons to abduct people. If you're being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer Don't panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft. The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts mons have e fake mountain Kailash in Tibet 3)In lake Baikal in Russia 4)In Atlanti which i Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight eath the Mariana Trench in Pacific Ocean. There are liens. Nobody lives on other planet Antichri ng n pa with red s possessed by Satan since he's 12 years old wears roun Don't go into a UFO to be healed by demons. Green 666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (World Passport). Police will microchip and isotope ray people on the highways. Microchipped people will be influenced by computers to take grey plastic card; but whe they do, 666 is given ject 666 at a If you're about to be marked, pray the behi ple from temporary hell twic ple are freed). Feed the pigeons; when pigeons bow down, people are saved from temporary hel. Forgive me tope ray people too. Antichrist will als o mark people. Re sone it leads prayer e with Orthodox Christians 666 leave al electroni that antichri minions track you. Give to charity in the name of Archangel Michael ar (or brings them level, that i level with less punishment; eventually, peo- //youtube.com/watch?V-8dub8PF2d /fatheralexander.org/graphics/sects_e.pdf 13/6f4c/Qji _GVZorQY.jpg s629216.vk.me/629 //vk.com/wal //youtube.com/watch?-OLUKFmZfOrs livejournal.com/m ?q рязанская &w wal 730 57029%2Fal //vk.com/otro ava 8320 103469%2Fall orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/guidech3.pdf /fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/life pravoslavie.ru/english/5 memehumor: 666 Demon Aliens have invaded the Flat Earth!

memehumor: 666 Demon Aliens have invaded the Flat Earth!

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Anime, Apparently, and Bad: So I recently moved into a new neighborhood and it's a pretty nice area. After a couple of weeks, a moving truck pulls up and I realize there's a new girl living in the house next to me. So I walk out and I notice that she's all by herself Being the good neighbor I am, I go up and ask, "Hey, I see you don't have any help. Do you need any help with moving your boxes inside?" And keep this in mind, I'm like a 6/10 on good day while this girl is an easy 9/10. Like this girl can easily be a supermodel So I ask if she needs any help and she looks me dead in the "Uh... No thanks, I'm good." "Well ok. No problem So a couple days go by after that into my yard. So I'm thinking, "Ok cranky girl. Round 2, let's go, we got this." So I take the dumb dog and I bring it over to her house and give the door a kn biggest smile says, "OH MY GOD thank you SO MUCH! I don't know what I would do without him. He's like family to me. I'm so sorry that I was so mean to you the other day. I was having a bad day and took it out on you and I'm so sorry. Please let me make it up to you and take you out to dinner." So I humbly accept and we end up going out to dinner that night. Now, we don't have much in common. Like, I'm into video games and anime and she's into all this white girl stuff like makeup, Starbucks, and all that other shit. But, we have a good time. And I mean, this girl is WAY out of my league so who am I to complain? So then we hang out more frequently, I visit her and she visits me and now I'm in a good relationship with this extremely hot chick. A couple weeks go by, we continue this, and I see a moving truck come in from the other direction. I go out to greet the new neighbor and I see a cute girl come out of the moving truck. Now this girl is cute. She isn't supermodel hot, but she's cute. I would say she's like a 7/10. So I go up to her and say, "Hey, I see you don't have any help with with the stiest grimace on her face and says, eed anything, just give a little knock on the door and I'll come o led attempt and this girl's dumb, small chihuahua jumps over the fence and gets She opens the door and with the stuff i I hel Luckil e says, "Ye ure. Um, take this box and put it in the living room It's the first room to the right, you can't miss it." So I go to pick up the box and I realize that it's labeled "Video Games." The box wasn't taped very well, so I peek into the box and I'm seeing some serious video games. I'm seeing Final Fantasy 7-9 black label, a mint copy of Illusion of Gaia. Like, what girl even knows what that game is!? So I ask, "Hey, is this a box of your boyfriend's stuff?" and she responds with, "No, I don't have a boyfriend. That stuff's mine so make sure not to drop it." So now I know this girl is actually the coolest girl ever elp the girl move her stuff in and we hang out afterwards. We go t to lunch and we off. We ended up ust talking about video games the whole time and it was amazing. NowI don't forget, s ve a friend to talk nerd shit with and a cute as 10. And I also have this 9/10 girlfriend with me. And again, I'm just a 6/10 so righ w, I'm living dream So a couple weeks go by and my girl nd comes up to me and says, "Hey, so this may sound weird, but I don't want time with her and I'm honestly a little with that girl anymore. You're d more time with me us and want you to s We try to talk t me an we can a and it'll be great." She says, "Wel So next day, my girlfriend comes up to me and says, "Uh, "Wait, what? Why not? What happened?" "Yeah she told me that you're hers now and if I ever go near you again, she is going to kill me." Il give it a shot. I'll try to talk to her tomorrow ah you can't see that girl ever again." I thin u're overreacting a little bit. She do tha seem t type of perso Sh s going to fucking murder me I can't imagine tha I go up to 7/10's house the next day and give it a little knock on the door but nobody answers. I try the doorbel nothing. Give her a call, text her, no answer. So then I call my girlfriend, try to tell her that she wasn't there and I'I try again tomorrow. But again, no answer. So I go kn Il try to straighten this an morroW her ho knock on the door and still no answer. Next da knock* r and I do w what's going So day after day goes by and eventually, week after week and I'm getting nothing turns up. I call their family and friends and they know nothing. And after weeks of all this, I just give up Then I turn the news on one day, and I see the 7/10 girl getting carried away in handcuffs. And, she's covered in blood from head to toe. She's screaming and yelling at the camera saying, "She's dead, you're next." A couple days go by and the autopsy reports are coming in, and its all over the internet. Apparently, not only did she kill my gorgeous 9/10 girlfriend, but parts of her were missing. Chunks of her arms and legs were gone and it seems that the 7/10 girl ate parts of my girlfriend. Bit and chewed into her Now I'm thinking to myself that I had the two most amazing girls in my life. And I'm here, 6/10, just worried out of my mind because I can't get the image out of my head of her screaming into the cameras saying, "She's dead next. She's dead you're next." And I'm going crazy, I'm screaming and writing it in blood on the walls, "She's dead, you're next. She's dead you're next." AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT DO DO ANYMORE And it raises the question: Why is 6 afraid of 7? ng. I pu in the missing persons but memehumor: This Joke Proves Why Jealous Girlfriends Are Not to Be Trustedhttp://memehumor.tumblr.com
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Ass, Butt, and Friends: 1. Do the sex at her really hard and fast Th8 faster and harder you do the sex, awesomer the sex is. This is the main rule of sex. 2. Make her moan and scream super loud, like SO loud that the neighbors called the cops, and the cops came and were like "Hey what's going on and the girl was like 1 was screaming because the sex was so good and also hot and the cops are like you have to go to jail because you're too good at sex!" and you're like 1 don't think that's how the law works" and the cops are like "wow this guy's good Thay will than tal everyone at the cop building how good you are at sax, which will earn your their respect 3. Make sure your penis fits right inside her vagina hole, except your penis is really big, so it doesn't fit well, but like if you push it fits eventually because the vagina hole is just a cool hole shaped for a penis. Makve sure she's put her birth control pls inside her vagina before sax though, otherwise one of your bals comes out of your penis and Ies in the vagina hole and a baby hatches out of it 4. Kiss her boobs a lot (aka the round things on her chest for all the virgins out there heh heh) The boobs are known as the Vaginas of the Chest by us sex-knowers. The nipple part is lie a reverse vagina though, because nothing can go in t. In fact, since the nipple part goes in your mouth when you kiss it, your mouth is the Vagina of the Face (a fact known to al sex-knowers 5. Lick her butt The buttchoeks are the Boobs of the Ass, except without the nipple parts 6. It's okay to leave your undershirt on It's lie the pool, where you don't want Jimmy Tuccio to make fun of your manboobs, so you leave your shirt on. it's okay, since man nipple parts do not play a role in the sex doing 7. Your can leave your shorts on too That's why your shorts have the zipper part for the penis to come out of. Also you don't want to leave behind your walet (aven though you got that cool walet chain so it's pretty securo) if the cops want to see your wallet to s00 your school ID to make sure they know who it is who's doing al the good sex 8. It's normal to practice sex by rubbing your erection against the couch your sister asks what you're doing you just say you were taking a nap and she's lie "uh huh, with your ayes apen and Friends With Benefits on TV (she has caught you doing this to Mia Kunis movias betore). 9. Sex is the most intimate act you can engage in with another person-you and your partner both leave yourselves exposed in the throes of passion. That's why it's so important to pay attention to your partner's needs and desires during the act they've allowed themselves to be at their most vulnerable with you, so you have a duty to give them real attention and respect. For a briet moment, the two of you are overtakan by raw lust-but both must appreciate that the other is someone they care about whose desres in that moment are all that matter, each is focused on pleasuring the other instead of selfishly worrying about themselves, the experience wil be far mone rewarding for both. 10. The butthole is cool but be careful While the butthole is the Vagina of the Ass, the girl might have pooped out of t right belore and that would be real gross you peed in t and the pee mixed with the poop (btw you're supposed to pee in whatever hole you stick your weiner in). 10 Sex Tips From a 13 Year Old Who Has Totally Done Sex Before
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