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Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so l just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back. I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask. Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was stil extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught. I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that's not the point Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crushl And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!" My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" biggest-gaudiest-patronuses damn right we did Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
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Af, Anaconda, and Confused: Thread I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. Thread* 48 PM 39 Aug 18 2,419 Retweets 4,030 Ls So a few weeks egolwas on the Tinder machine ahopping my soul around and t vary attractwe young laxty No bio. Fairly innocuous l text her n we make amall tak abt work or a bit than she gois,uaty, thawa hic huge precentation im werkin on for my job, would you be ottended if I got back to you ve gol more free time? youre cute and t want to meer you Im just oo busy m thought wel that's an owerty elaborate way to ghest somsone i say TolI woudrt be offended Isotaty get t me up when you're iree thank you t was wormed you late buri for sure ra test you in Sk" ฮ n my head Tm Two waaks pais 1 compktdy sorget about her then I remember and go back o tinder andic ontt ind i that's ward she deleted her tinder buti take it s overly elaborate ghoating methods Then yesterday Iget a vext THEY IM omomow t was wondering if you wanted wa coukd go get drinks ater and see what happens m like wel iibe daned Genuinely didnt think she would message me around todoy and tomonow but just conte around 6 and 11 meet you try the stage thes weead ot say sure thing lpoking formand bo it This moming she texts me at 9 am hey it's gonna rain today but i thin it shoud clear up in time for our de I'm ike coot ill be there Iplay football wth gerwond aliar soday and aspresa m iscredulty at the stuation Ifind her Instagrmt says singer actress, model, 3000 ollewersand Im Ehe uugghhhh I dunno bro. THIS SHIT FEELS OFf but fuck it 0 I make my way to Unign Square Eat a hot dog and look Ơwer by this open tot by and about 100 ppl and camerus and sh Manhattn shit e random a She leats me eym neinng a lttle tn but jut meet me by te stage then we can golwaen't gonna stand n fhont of e fucking stage sol stand af so tha ade a bit 0 Eventusly ee a giiming towards bockstage wn two enonmoue bodyguards in sunglaases and reaise its her and fm thinking WHAT THN l stay back and oosess the snuation and fuck imma playing and she gets on the stage and im so fucking confused but think wel guees she's a social mecde rality or 0 L immeciately think Im too fucking old She gets Pe me and is lke thanks for coming outbet you re oll mondering the fuck is this about 0 She then ays kow al of yog hee are on tindler and I'm Ike oppe0 Then she says l've invited you all here for proceads to gve a hunger pane about wtut its gomna take to 0 L THE DUDES THERE SHE FOUND D THEM THESAME SHITTEXTEDTHEME TCEND oN 0 Every man n ne owd look down ard mimes WHAT IN 000 THE THIB SHIT to themsl NAME OF SCOOBY Ad that poiet I un geuiely imazedal he falopian fortitude the g possesses This is top 10 gremest and plaged TUST NO ONE I TRUST NOTHING FMVAN CIVILIZATION DONT GET GOT THE END clare harper flood herpoonen h weet your l We in 2018, she in 2058 by sooshi MORE MEMES
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America, Apparently, and Baked: how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected gunvolt im going to have a stroke prideling Instead try Person A: You know... the thing Person B: The "thing"? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD artykyn As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l have witnessed .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a Russian one then...." . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English. e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak. . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing! Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back. s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt 287,537 notes May 16th, 2017 Bilingual
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Confused, Thank You, and Hunting: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Here is my official plan to change the world as we know it: I become a paramedic. If l encounter patients who cannot be saved, just as they're about to die, I'll look them dead (haha) in the eyes and slap 'em real hard If ghosts are real, this will cause dozens of them to be personally upset with me. I mean, at the very least, they'll want answers. I'll be the most haunted person ever. This means I'll have dozens of opportunities to record paranormal phenomenon. I'll get my own show on the Travel Channel called GHOST SLAPPER, through which I'll eventually get irrefutable scientific evidence that ghosts exist, making me the wealthiest and most respected paranormal researcher of all time. . On my death bed, one of my interns will slap me real hard, to make sure I come back all pissed off and confused .I will be the first ghost to host a ghost hunting show (which is mega cool, come on, admit it) Eventually, the secret goes global, and everyone starts slapping their loved ones real hard as they die, because they believe it's the best way for their spirit to remain here on Earth with them . After enough time, death slaps become commonplace. People have DNS (do not slap) instructions in their wills instead of or along with DNR (do not resuscitate) ones. HOWEVER, because everyone expects the death slaps, they no longer have the desired effect. Getting slapped is just a natural part of dying, now, but it accomplishes nothing .Like with all cultural junk, the origin eventually slips away, and the knowledge of WHY we slap the dying is esoteric at best. .1, however, remember, and haunt hospitals for centuries, laughing because everybody's gettin' slapped. Thank you for your time spiritualwarriorofdestruction What the fuck man a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Excuse me, do you have a better idea? The ghost slapper
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Confused, Food, and God: DID JESUS FIND GUNS NAMED PETER JOHNJAMES MATTHEW. ANDREW.PHILIP,THOMAS.& SIMON IN THE MIDDLE EAST elevenses-on-trenzalore: zemedelphos: vagabondaesthetics: thefemaletyrant: generalbriefing: So….I totally never thought about this. I’m sure very few of you have. I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit disturbed… Wow. Food for thought. I’m sure there’s an answer though. Their names were translated/Anglicized after going from Greek to English. The names of the Apostles are of Greek, Aramaic and Hebrew origins. The Hebrew, Aramaic and “Greek” named Apostles were: Shim’on = Simon (Hebrew origin). Y’hochanan = John (Hebrew origin). Mattithyahu = Matthew (Hebrew origin). Ya’aqov = James (Hebrew origin meaning Jacob). Bar-Tôlmay = Bartholomew (Aramaic, which is related to Hebrew). Judah = Jude / Saint Jude (not to be confused with Judas Iscariot, Hebrew origin). Yehuda = Judas Iscariot (Hebrew origin, Betrayed Yeshua/Yehosua the Messiah). Cephas / Kephas = Peter (Hebrew / Aramaic origin meaning “Rock”). Tau’ma = Thomas (Aramaic origin). Andrew = Andrew (Greek origin. Is the brother of Cephas / Kephas). Phillip = Phillip (Greek origin). You will note that there are only 11 names, that is because there were 2 Apostles named Ya’aqov (James), which brings the total to 12 apostles. Link  To expand on this, Jesus’s name is Anglicized in this way as well. We get Jesus from the Latin form of the Greek “Ἰησοῦς”(Iēsous), which is derived from the Herbrew “ישוע”(Yeshu’a, which meant “YHWH is Salvaion”, YHWH, or Yahweh being the name of God). When another form of that name, ” יְהוֹשֻׁעַ”(Yeoshu’a) was allowed to Anglicize through a different set of corruptions, it entered the English Language through Reformist Protestants as the name “Joshua”.Yes. Jesus’s actual name is Joshua. joshua christ this is fascinating

elevenses-on-trenzalore: zemedelphos: vagabondaesthetics: thefemaletyrant: generalbriefing: So….I totally never thought about this. I’m...

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Confused, Gif, and Target: Anonymous reader who has never commented before I loved this update, but is it too much to ask that you make the chapters longer? Also, it's been so long since your last update that I had to go back and re-read the previous chapter just to know what was going on. It would be great if you could give us more regular updates so we don't get confused. Thanks Comment as Every tired fanfic author (Plain text with limited HTML 4300 characters left Comment Cancel seasonofthegeek: tomfooleryprime: tomfooleryprime: Writing is a process that often undergoes heavy edits… that includes responding to feedback.  I had no idea this post would resonate with so many people. I let my vitriol surrounding several comments I received on a recent update get to me and it spilled out into .gif form and it’s now morphed into the most widely shared thing I’ve ever posted. So many comments and tags have said things along the lines of, “This was why I quit writing” or “This is why I hate writing fanfic.” And that’s soul crushing to hear, but I can relate.  But while there are some crappy and entitled readers, there are also many brilliant ones and I’m so grateful for them. The huge response to this post made me go back and skim through the comments on my old stories, and comments like the one below are about half the reason some of those stories got finished, even if it was months later.  Comments like these are so rare, but when they do come up, they leave me staring at my computer screen, drumming my fingers on the keyboard, struggling to convey my feelings about how their words have touched my heart. These are the comments that take the longest amount of time to respond to and the ones that cause me to wear out my backspace key the fastest.  It’s easy to complain, but it’s literally just as easy to praise, so I just wanted to take a moment to recognize all those dear and dedicated readers who have propped me up when I wanted to quit. Readers like you are why I keep writing, and why I even feel honored to do it on rare occasion.  And fellow writers, keep your heads up if you can. :)  I know I reblogged this before with the first part but the added content is perfect so I’m reblogging again. To those who have left me these kind of comments, even if I wasn’t mentally able to respond at the time, please know how much they mean to me. I have them saved so I can go back and read them when I’m down. Thank you for sticking around.
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Ass, Confused, and Family: Relatableo @Relatabletxtes Follow If the titanic sunk in 2016 RETWEETS LIKES 5,7097,671 Follow @k-İbrahim15 Replying to @Relatabletxtes The titanic wouldn't sink in 2016 there would be no iceberg in due to climate change and global warming. RETWEETS LIKES 350 E19022 celticpyro: asiafish: dirtydirtychai: destinyrush: she ain’t wrong 🤔 Im so???? What asshole drew this?? As if we don’t have the very recent, devastating shipwrecks of the Costa Concordia (2012) in which video from firefighters helped prove the captain abandoned his ship in a disaster that resulted in 32 fatalities or the sinking of the Sewol ferry in Korea (2014), in which over 300 people, mostly middle school students, were drowned, but not before many sent footage of the ferry’s announcements telling people to stay seated and not evacuate, proving the negligence of the ferry’s crew. Many of them were able to get final goodbye messages to their friends and family before they drowned.  Ability to send final messages aside, documentary archival video footage is PRICELESS in situations like this. After any kind of public event, you bet your ass police are asking for any and all cell phone footage from the area.  anyway, in conclusion, that artist can fuck off  technowogy is scawwy Yes, at least a handful of people probably would be recording it on their phones because then they could alert authorities to send aid and let loved ones know where they are and what’s going on. I can’t stand the anti-technology stigma that really just boils down to a bunch of bitter old people being scared and confused by something they’re unfamiliar with and want to make themselves feel better about by painting it in a negative light.
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