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Anaconda, Animals, and Be Like: if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild pumpkinvictor brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it'll jiggle. me: no??? that's mean??? brain: polar bear, then pumpkinvictor brain: the lons just got fed raw meat brain: steal it and eat it in front of them me:.. pumpkinvictor ttle-king-smashmouth AS A ZOOKEEPERI CAN CONFIRM THIS IS 100% A REAL STRUGGLE rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering harinezumiko This 100% was me at the zoo. Don't touch Melon, he's mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won't get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don't have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we're putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical homs, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don't give him fruit loops. He is a jerk) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she's on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac's enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she's a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don't know you and they äre very distressed that you're täking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not leam. Do not pet the guinea pig. this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you as biologist, can confirm brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no! brain: that lynx.. .Jooks so fluffy me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it's awake and angry so no. brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn't. Ah-I read the one about the sea star crunch and I immediately thought of if I ate one, what goo would come out. Would it be like a mozzarella stick? The texture seems to fit right. What if someone served someone a sea star instead of a mozzarella stick in the shape of a sea star? Would they eat t? Would IilI eat it? What if I knew it was a sea star? Would I STILL eat i? I kinda just want mozzarella sticks but now they could all be sea star limbs so I have to be careful... Source: snowquee.. Wanimal Bintrusive thoughts 8200 98,700 notes Intrusive Thoughts
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Arthur, David Bowie, and Puppies: stoneyboboney tumbl Follow urbanoceanbx hapter 3 1 g car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the finst two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like phn Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly terrible Se clledt He was tall and he grandtheftautosanandreas Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters the-fandoms-are-valentines they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay "He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis." Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you. "He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way of "It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro." "If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly nudityandnerdery And, of course The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. drinkmasturbatecry the one that will always stay with me is "Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath," i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words marsdaydream I will reblog this every time l see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language ladyscientia Douglas Adams understands me Source:kingwizardandthelizardgizzard #42 #yes this #ahahaha #Douglas Adams 436,335 notes Douglas Adams appreciation post
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Apparently, Bones, and Christmas: ladyjanelly E yanethyrael tumblr Follow STILL ON PATROL I learned something new and horrifying today which is... that.. no submarine is ever considered "lost".there is apparently a tradition in the U.S. Navy that no submarine is ever lost. Those that go to sea and do not return are considered to be "still on patrol. There is a monument about this along a canal near here its... the worst thing I have ever seen. it says "STILL ON PATROL' in huge letters and then goes on to specify exactly how many WWIl submarine ghosts are STILL OUT THERE, ON PATROL (it is almost 2000 wwil submarine ghosts, ftr). Here is the text from it U.S. Navy Submarines paid heavily for their success in WWll. A total of 374 officers and 3131 men are still on board these 52 U.S. submarines still on patrol. THANKS A LOT, US、NAVY, FOR HAVING THIS TOTALLY NORMAL AND NOT AT ALL HORRIFYING TRADITION, AND TELLING ALL OF US ABOUT IT THANKS. THANK YOU anyway now my mother and I cannot stop saying STILL ON PATROL to each other in ominous tones of voice tharook There's definitely something ominous about that-the implication that, one day they will return from patrol thehoneybeewitch Actually, it's rather sweet. I don't know if this is common across the board, but my dad's friend is a radio op for subs launched off the east coast, and he always is excited for Christmas, because they go through the list of SoP subs and hail them, wishing them a merry Christmas and telling them they're remembered Imagine a country whose seamen never die, and whose submarines can't be destroyed...because no ones sure if they exist or not. No but imagine. It's Christmas. A black, rotting corridor in a forgotten submarine The sound of dripping water echoes coldly through the hull. You can't see very far down the corridor but then, a man appears, he's running, in a panic, but his footsteps make no noise. The spectral seaman dashes around the corner and slips through a rusty wall. He finds himself at the back of a crowd of his They part to let him through. He feels the weight of their hollow gaze as he reaches the coms station. Even after all these years a sickly green light glistens in the dark. The captain's skeleton lays a sharp hand on his shoulder and nods at him encouragingly, the light sliding over the bones of his skull. The ghost of the seaman steadies himself and slips his fingers into the dials of the radio, possessing it. It wails and screeches. A bombardment of static. And then silence. The deathly crew mates look at each other with worry with sadness, could this be the year where there is no voice in the dark? No memory of home? The phantasm of the sailor pushes his hand deeper into the workings of the radio, the signal static but warm and kind, echoes from the darkness, "Merry Christmas boys, we're all thinking of you here at home, have a good one A sepulchral tear wafts it's way down the seaman's face. The bony captain embraces him. The crew grin through rotten jaws, laughing silently in their joy They haven't forgotten us. They haven't forgotten. lears, and then a strong voice, distant with the I am completely on board with this. It's not horritying, it's heartwarming Personal story time: whenever I go to Field Museum's Egypt exhibit,I stop by the plaque at the entrance to the underground rooms. It has an English translation of a prayer to feed the dead, and a list of all the names they know of the mummies on display there.I always recite the prayer and read aloud the list of names. They wanted to live forever, to always have their souls fed and their names spoken. How would they feel about being behind glass, among strangers? Every little thing you can do to give respect for the dead is warranted I love the idea of lost subs still being on patrol. Though if you really want something ominous, let me say that the superstitious part of me wonders: why are they still on patrol? If they haven't been found, do they not consider their mission completed? What is it out there that they are protecting us from? There's been something in the water since we first learned to float on it. Not marine life, although there's more of that than we'll ever knoW. Not rocks and currents and sand bars and icebergs either, although they've all taken more than their share of human life But something deeper. Something Other. Something not natural. Sailors have always been superstitious. Not one of them described it right. You don't hear about it so much now that we don't lose ships anymore, really not like we did at the height of the sea trade when barely an inch of ocean floor didn't bear some wreck or other. And better ships and GPS and weather satellites have all played their part in that But we have protection now that we didn't before. They don't intertere with war and battle, even on behalf of what used to be their country, or with rocks and weather and human stupidity. Those are concerns for the living But the Other Things, the Things that shouldn't be there They can't get to us now without a tight. It's a fight They haven't won in a very long time As long as we remember them, as long as we call out to them-not very often just once a year will do- they will keep protecting us from the Things that go bump in the deep More than tifty submarines, Still On Patrol I love everything about this, but it's the last bit that made me say "okay now I'I reblog it. Source:pipistrellus 51,990 notes Best of tumblr: On sailors lost, but not forgotten

Best of tumblr: On sailors lost, but not forgotten

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David Bowie, Puppies, and Target: ch in fully k tti Chapter 3 1 ng he west ing car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like d dream of enly fling the terrible eously. So rminedly ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy amiliar He was tall and he gangled. marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
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Anaconda, Cars, and Doctor: Nazia Hasan Kazi November 14 at 8:59am When did people start thinking "nonviolent protest meant "candlelight vigils" instead of withholding your labor, boycotting, shutting down highways and roads, opening cages, breaking laws that are unjust? Asking for a friend. moncarnetdenote: geekandmisandry: smitethepatriarchy: geekandmisandry: taranoire: uteruskraken: taranoire: Well, shutting down highways and roads is dangerous and puts people at risk of harm. Other than that…. 😑 and how does it do that? How are you at risk because you can’t go down the street you wanted to? Because streets are used for emergency services. Also, EVERYONE uses roads. So, just as you might be inconveniencing white motorists on a Sunday drive you’re also putting the wellbeing of everyone at risk. People have doctor appointments, obligations, kids need to get to school. The only people you’re REALLY hurting when you disrupt vital services are the poor and disabled. I’m poor and disabled, i have no time to be a shield here. Protestors rarely ever cause blockage to emergency vehicles and telling people to protest in a way that doesn’t inconvenience anyone is ridiculous. Staying quietly out of the way is not how change gets accomplished. People protest BECAUSE people are dying but I guess those people don’t fucking matter? I’ve been to multiple protests that have blocked roads. Once, an emergency vehicle needed to get through. You know what happened? The protesters moved out of the way to let the emergency vehicle through and then moved back into place. I know it sounds IMPOSSIBLE but I saw it happen. People just so desperately want to perpetuate myths about protests, they sound like the fox news journalists who will call them “riots”. Protests are often organised and have people with experience as a part of it. They aren’t an angry mob turning over cars because there football team lost. For a whole year, most of the students of my province led a general strike against the government. Of course, this featured demonstrations and protests… Everyday, mostly in the evenings, including a few general and national protest days when we’d be almost half a million marching through the streets of Montreal. And I can say with 100% certainty… We NEVER kept the emergency vehicles from passing through. Fire truck? We’d move out the way and form a safety corridor for them to speed through, then tighten ranks again. Ambulance? We’d move the fuck out of the way as fast as possible. The last thing we ever wanted was to have a death on our conscience. We were protesting unfair laws, not out for blood (unlike what the government liked to imply though -_____-). You know who DID block the way to emergency vehicles though? The riot police. Whenever they injured people when they fired flashbang grenades right in the crowds and the exploded and sent shrapnel into people’s legs or faces, when they fired rubber bullets at face level against safety regulations, when they repeatedly rammed a downed, restrained protester with their batons and boots until teeth and blood covered the floor, they also systemically blocked ANY ambulances and first responders trying to get to the injured, or leave with a person in critical state to get to the hospital. They formed tight ranks and raised their plexiglass shields and stared them down, backed them off, trapped them with the protesters. Hell, they even arrested some of the first responders attending to the injured when they mass arrested the people they trapped with their own militaristic ranks. You’re vilifying the wrong crowd, @taranoire, who I can’t seem to tag.
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Books, David Bowie, and Puppies: ch in fully k tti Chapter 3 1 ng he west ing car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like d dream of enly fling the terrible eously. So rminedly ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy amiliar He was tall and he gangled. aeruh: marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language. @forest-of-books
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