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        mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.: 0
 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME
 JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND
 THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES
 WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 G-
 prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at
 premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During
 erard Way had been having
 premonitions that he was going
 to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself
 singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed
 kept on seeing it happen in
 dreams and each time he would
 young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him.
 Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the
 story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in
 my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the
 worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger
 in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down
 my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept
 on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about
 wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost
 going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye:
 But the finger was right back into my socket around
 the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made
 LEAP OF FAITH: THE
 MCRMY PILE IN
 ANK GENUFLECTS AT
 HE ALTAR OF SCREAM
 38 METLHAMNERCOUK

 THE BROTHERS
 WAY: DIVVENT MESS
 garage RISTOR
 music
 "DOESTHE NUMBER 30
 GO FROM HERE MATE?"
 a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having
 Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting
 can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this
 should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans.
 band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to
 drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who
 soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans
 are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal
 gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it
 in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the
 how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?"
 to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care
 violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else
 You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr
 drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one
 to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would
 powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's
 but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it
 injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just
 head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk
 that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their
 the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if
 (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone
 "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them."
 "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts
 broken his wrist. We've all been hurt."
 It was the gig the night before when we first met up
 with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in
 and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub
 beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two
 girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says
 "We've all been hurt
 GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMMERCOUK 39

 VEHICLES AND
 CONTENTS
 ARE LEFT
 ENTIRELY AT
 OWNERS RISK
 MCR'S
 WARM-UP YOGA
 one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My!
 Chemical! Romance!
 for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly
 becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis.
 And you can see why they're starting to attract this
 of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine
 kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy,
 of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and
 thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos.
 Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different
 bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music.
 but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this
 the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag.
 and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance."
 The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words
 area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe
 The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't
 appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly
 when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are
 out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon,
 and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows.
 Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own
 up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up
 and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey,
 talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops!
 where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated
 with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to
 become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch
 the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern
 looks like Newark, where we come from!"
 a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn
 The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It
 from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas
 better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask.
 to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly.
 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went
 to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances
 and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances.
 smells godawful."
 "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard
 "I could feel her finger in my eye...
 I thought my eyeball had burst"
 NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK

 "Id had a really bad year before the band and that
 helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of
 shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven-
 at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and
 like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks
 I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica.
 and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band
 do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and
 for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks
 But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers.
 that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells
 with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks
 All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means
 you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's
 Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!"
 I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show
 situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running
 We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't.
 rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby
 around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit,
 tickets than meal tickets."
 we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar,
 The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk
 of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want
 drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them.
 to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of
 room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English
 one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination.
 they always look so depressed, like they've walked into
 the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be
 having a better time if you were out at the bar."
 Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting
 the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5
 GERARD WOULD
 NEVER LET
 ANYONE INTO
 HIS SACRED
 CRYPT
 hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour."
 But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is
 certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla
 If
 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?"
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMM
 ERCOUK 41
mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.
        

            
            

                
                
                    mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.: 0
 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME
 JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND
 THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES
 WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 G-
 prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at
 premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During
 erard Way had been having
 premonitions that he was going
 to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself
 singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed
 kept on seeing it happen in
 dreams and each time he would
 young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him.
 Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the
 story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in
 my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the
 worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger
 in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down
 my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept
 on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about
 wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost
 going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye:
 But the finger was right back into my socket around
 the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made
 LEAP OF FAITH: THE
 MCRMY PILE IN
 ANK GENUFLECTS AT
 HE ALTAR OF SCREAM
 38 METLHAMNERCOUK

 THE BROTHERS
 WAY: DIVVENT MESS
 garage RISTOR
 music
 "DOESTHE NUMBER 30
 GO FROM HERE MATE?"
 a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having
 Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting
 can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this
 should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans.
 band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to
 drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who
 soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans
 are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal
 gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it
 in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the
 how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?"
 to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care
 violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else
 You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr
 drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one
 to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would
 powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's
 but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it
 injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just
 head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk
 that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their
 the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if
 (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone
 "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them."
 "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts
 broken his wrist. We've all been hurt."
 It was the gig the night before when we first met up
 with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in
 and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub
 beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two
 girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says
 "We've all been hurt
 GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMMERCOUK 39

 VEHICLES AND
 CONTENTS
 ARE LEFT
 ENTIRELY AT
 OWNERS RISK
 MCR'S
 WARM-UP YOGA
 one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My!
 Chemical! Romance!
 for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly
 becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis.
 And you can see why they're starting to attract this
 of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine
 kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy,
 of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and
 thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos.
 Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different
 bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music.
 but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this
 the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag.
 and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance."
 The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words
 area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe
 The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't
 appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly
 when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are
 out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon,
 and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows.
 Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own
 up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up
 and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey,
 talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops!
 where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated
 with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to
 become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch
 the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern
 looks like Newark, where we come from!"
 a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn
 The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It
 from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas
 better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask.
 to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly.
 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went
 to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances
 and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances.
 smells godawful."
 "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard
 "I could feel her finger in my eye...
 I thought my eyeball had burst"
 NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK

 "Id had a really bad year before the band and that
 helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of
 shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven-
 at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and
 like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks
 I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica.
 and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band
 do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and
 for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks
 But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers.
 that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells
 with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks
 All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means
 you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's
 Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!"
 I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show
 situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running
 We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't.
 rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby
 around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit,
 tickets than meal tickets."
 we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar,
 The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk
 of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want
 drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them.
 to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of
 room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English
 one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination.
 they always look so depressed, like they've walked into
 the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be
 having a better time if you were out at the bar."
 Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting
 the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5
 GERARD WOULD
 NEVER LET
 ANYONE INTO
 HIS SACRED
 CRYPT
 hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour."
 But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is
 certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla
 If
 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?"
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMM
 ERCOUK 41
mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        c-bassmeow:

I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can : NewsBiscuit on Facebook
 Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn
 f Like 8.1k
 While most people are enjoying the
 current warm weather, climatologists
 said yesterday that a long hot
 summer could spell doom for one of
 Britain's most unusual monochrome
 inhabitants, the Goth.
 Search our Archives
 Search
 Subscribe to the daily email
 Your email
 Your name
 "Goths are shy, retiring creatures that
 thrive best in gloomy autumnal
 weather,' said Dr James Barnett of
 the University of Warwick. 'Drought
 conditions aren't an issue since they
 rarely wash, but they are poorly
 equipped to deal with high
 temperatures as they can't take off
 their black jeans and duffel coats.
 Many also suffer with restricted vision
 as the heat causes their sweaty,
 greasy hair to form a lank immovable
 curtain they can't see beyond.'
 Subscribe
 Browse Archives
 July 2015
 More from From The Archives
 • Government orders inquiry into why cover-
 up did not work
 Iran conducts test of long-range tickling
 stick
 • NASA to send unmanned probe to Basildon
 Wimbledon Ladies' Prettiness Championship
 enters tense final stages
 Britain's Goth population, identifiable by its distinctive eye markings, peaked at around 90,000 in the
 1970s, but since then has been driven out of urban habitats by more aggressive, faster-breeding species
 like Chavs. While some Goths are expected to hibernate until the weather gives everyone less to be
 cheerful about, there are fears that some could spontaneously combust in the summer sun leaving
 behind only a pair of smoking 18-hole Dr Martens.
 • Father admits he didn't actually spend
 summer outdoors
 · America remembers those fallen during
 viewings of 'Independence Day'
 · Full archive for 'From The Archives' »
 Conservationists have now established a sanctuary in Whitby Abbey and are seeking to lure distressed
 Goths there by means of artificial darkness, playing Southern Death Cult records around the clock and a
 Tim Burton retrospective at the local Odeon.
 News In Brief
 Corbyn cruising in Reds title race
 But some believe the project is doomed to failure. This is how evolution works, sadly,' said Dr Richard
 Dawkins. 'A species that cannot adapt to change and shows more interest in self-harming than in
 breeding is bound to die out. I keep telling people but no one seems to get it. Why doesn't anyone
 understand me?' he screamed, tearfully storming upstairs to play Bauhaus records and write poetry in his
 Wasps to undergo PR make-over
 Lord Sewel criticised for coke-snorting technique
 room.
 Tour de France ends in cheese for bloke who got
c-bassmeow:

I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can 
        

            
            

                
                
                    c-bassmeow:

I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can : NewsBiscuit on Facebook
 Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn
 f Like 8.1k
 While most people are enjoying the
 current warm weather, climatologists
 said yesterday that a long hot
 summer could spell doom for one of
 Britain's most unusual monochrome
 inhabitants, the Goth.
 Search our Archives
 Search
 Subscribe to the daily email
 Your email
 Your name
 "Goths are shy, retiring creatures that
 thrive best in gloomy autumnal
 weather,' said Dr James Barnett of
 the University of Warwick. 'Drought
 conditions aren't an issue since they
 rarely wash, but they are poorly
 equipped to deal with high
 temperatures as they can't take off
 their black jeans and duffel coats.
 Many also suffer with restricted vision
 as the heat causes their sweaty,
 greasy hair to form a lank immovable
 curtain they can't see beyond.'
 Subscribe
 Browse Archives
 July 2015
 More from From The Archives
 • Government orders inquiry into why cover-
 up did not work
 Iran conducts test of long-range tickling
 stick
 • NASA to send unmanned probe to Basildon
 Wimbledon Ladies' Prettiness Championship
 enters tense final stages
 Britain's Goth population, identifiable by its distinctive eye markings, peaked at around 90,000 in the
 1970s, but since then has been driven out of urban habitats by more aggressive, faster-breeding species
 like Chavs. While some Goths are expected to hibernate until the weather gives everyone less to be
 cheerful about, there are fears that some could spontaneously combust in the summer sun leaving
 behind only a pair of smoking 18-hole Dr Martens.
 • Father admits he didn't actually spend
 summer outdoors
 · America remembers those fallen during
 viewings of 'Independence Day'
 · Full archive for 'From The Archives' »
 Conservationists have now established a sanctuary in Whitby Abbey and are seeking to lure distressed
 Goths there by means of artificial darkness, playing Southern Death Cult records around the clock and a
 Tim Burton retrospective at the local Odeon.
 News In Brief
 Corbyn cruising in Reds title race
 But some believe the project is doomed to failure. This is how evolution works, sadly,' said Dr Richard
 Dawkins. 'A species that cannot adapt to change and shows more interest in self-harming than in
 breeding is bound to die out. I keep telling people but no one seems to get it. Why doesn't anyone
 understand me?' he screamed, tearfully storming upstairs to play Bauhaus records and write poetry in his
 Wasps to undergo PR make-over
 Lord Sewel criticised for coke-snorting technique
 room.
 Tour de France ends in cheese for bloke who got
c-bassmeow:

I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can 
                    
                
            

            
                
                
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        I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can : NewsBiscuit on Facebook
 Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn
 f Like 8.1k
 While most people are enjoying the
 current warm weather, climatologists
 said yesterday that a long hot
 summer could spell doom for one of
 Britain's most unusual monochrome
 inhabitants, the Goth.
 Search our Archives
 Search
 Subscribe to the daily email
 Your email
 Your name
 "Goths are shy, retiring creatures that
 thrive best in gloomy autumnal
 weather,' said Dr James Barnett of
 the University of Warwick. 'Drought
 conditions aren't an issue since they
 rarely wash, but they are poorly
 equipped to deal with high
 temperatures as they can't take off
 their black jeans and duffel coats.
 Many also suffer with restricted vision
 as the heat causes their sweaty,
 greasy hair to form a lank immovable
 curtain they can't see beyond.'
 Subscribe
 Browse Archives
 July 2015
 More from From The Archives
 • Government orders inquiry into why cover-
 up did not work
 Iran conducts test of long-range tickling
 stick
 • NASA to send unmanned probe to Basildon
 Wimbledon Ladies' Prettiness Championship
 enters tense final stages
 Britain's Goth population, identifiable by its distinctive eye markings, peaked at around 90,000 in the
 1970s, but since then has been driven out of urban habitats by more aggressive, faster-breeding species
 like Chavs. While some Goths are expected to hibernate until the weather gives everyone less to be
 cheerful about, there are fears that some could spontaneously combust in the summer sun leaving
 behind only a pair of smoking 18-hole Dr Martens.
 • Father admits he didn't actually spend
 summer outdoors
 · America remembers those fallen during
 viewings of 'Independence Day'
 · Full archive for 'From The Archives' »
 Conservationists have now established a sanctuary in Whitby Abbey and are seeking to lure distressed
 Goths there by means of artificial darkness, playing Southern Death Cult records around the clock and a
 Tim Burton retrospective at the local Odeon.
 News In Brief
 Corbyn cruising in Reds title race
 But some believe the project is doomed to failure. This is how evolution works, sadly,' said Dr Richard
 Dawkins. 'A species that cannot adapt to change and shows more interest in self-harming than in
 breeding is bound to die out. I keep telling people but no one seems to get it. Why doesn't anyone
 understand me?' he screamed, tearfully storming upstairs to play Bauhaus records and write poetry in his
 Wasps to undergo PR make-over
 Lord Sewel criticised for coke-snorting technique
 room.
 Tour de France ends in cheese for bloke who got
I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can 
        

            
            

                
                
                    I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can : NewsBiscuit on Facebook
 Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn
 f Like 8.1k
 While most people are enjoying the
 current warm weather, climatologists
 said yesterday that a long hot
 summer could spell doom for one of
 Britain's most unusual monochrome
 inhabitants, the Goth.
 Search our Archives
 Search
 Subscribe to the daily email
 Your email
 Your name
 "Goths are shy, retiring creatures that
 thrive best in gloomy autumnal
 weather,' said Dr James Barnett of
 the University of Warwick. 'Drought
 conditions aren't an issue since they
 rarely wash, but they are poorly
 equipped to deal with high
 temperatures as they can't take off
 their black jeans and duffel coats.
 Many also suffer with restricted vision
 as the heat causes their sweaty,
 greasy hair to form a lank immovable
 curtain they can't see beyond.'
 Subscribe
 Browse Archives
 July 2015
 More from From The Archives
 • Government orders inquiry into why cover-
 up did not work
 Iran conducts test of long-range tickling
 stick
 • NASA to send unmanned probe to Basildon
 Wimbledon Ladies' Prettiness Championship
 enters tense final stages
 Britain's Goth population, identifiable by its distinctive eye markings, peaked at around 90,000 in the
 1970s, but since then has been driven out of urban habitats by more aggressive, faster-breeding species
 like Chavs. While some Goths are expected to hibernate until the weather gives everyone less to be
 cheerful about, there are fears that some could spontaneously combust in the summer sun leaving
 behind only a pair of smoking 18-hole Dr Martens.
 • Father admits he didn't actually spend
 summer outdoors
 · America remembers those fallen during
 viewings of 'Independence Day'
 · Full archive for 'From The Archives' »
 Conservationists have now established a sanctuary in Whitby Abbey and are seeking to lure distressed
 Goths there by means of artificial darkness, playing Southern Death Cult records around the clock and a
 Tim Burton retrospective at the local Odeon.
 News In Brief
 Corbyn cruising in Reds title race
 But some believe the project is doomed to failure. This is how evolution works, sadly,' said Dr Richard
 Dawkins. 'A species that cannot adapt to change and shows more interest in self-harming than in
 breeding is bound to die out. I keep telling people but no one seems to get it. Why doesn't anyone
 understand me?' he screamed, tearfully storming upstairs to play Bauhaus records and write poetry in his
 Wasps to undergo PR make-over
 Lord Sewel criticised for coke-snorting technique
 room.
 Tour de France ends in cheese for bloke who got
I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can 
                    
                
            

            
                
                
I’m just trying to raise awareness; I do what I can 

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save