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Ass, Beautiful, and Butt: did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com During a battle in 603 BC, Chinese warrior Xiong Yiliao stepped out between the armies and started juggling 9 balls. The opposing troops were so amazed that all 500 of them turned and fled did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com facebook.com/didyouknowblog idontevenhaveone: etienne-bessette: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang @admiraloblivious we’re finding this movie and watching it asap Ffffff-
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Af, America, and Bailey Jay: THE MOST FAMOUS PIRATES #16 HAYREDDIN BARBAROSSA century, but was forced to flee the Eastern Mecitetraneanober b kingthe wrong candidate for sultan Hebecame known as Barbrossa n Europe, a nane he inhenited from hisder her Orug Reis after he was klied in a battle with the Spanish in Algeria. Becoming aplrate, his enemies took his base leaing him homeless once agaln. Tired of and started one for himself the Regency of Nigiers (presene-day geria, Turiva and parts ef Moraccal He did this by pledging alince to the Oioman sultan and getting in return enough ships and we Sattle of Preveza153 using his fleet of 122 ships, Barbarossa retired ossa Hayneddin Pasha died in 1546 in his seaside pslace in Istenbul #17 KLAUS STÖRTEBEKER nd Sweden to fight the Danish and supply the be ieged Swecish ca pital Stodholm with provis ons After the end of the war the Victus and named themselves "Likedeelers.A large number of myths andle withone gup'in ldGemun.The moniker refers to the pirate's ability o empty a four-tie mug of beer in ore guip Stortebeker entered Brothers from the Batic island of Godand, where they had set up a ed by Simon of Utrecht caught up wh Stortebeker's foroe near Hel ed by a trafor who cast molten lead into the Iniks which held the ker offered a chain of goldlong enough toenclose the whoke of Ham bung in eochange for his lfe and freedon, However Stortebeker and all his 73 corepanions were sentenced to death It is said that Storte beler asked the mayor of Hamburg to release however many of his companions he could walk past after being beheaded The rather rs alegedly çot up and walked pest twelve of hls compenions before the #18 CHING SHIH lso knownan ChengISn.Ching Shih s not only the most successful fal female pianes sheis a'se the mest fascinating She gained eqa her adopted son, Cheung Po Tsal the captain of her fleet lwhich oqualed that of al the other nost successtul pisanes combinedi Beau hips wth 80 000 men,androbbed andtaoond towns, plundering ships long the coast of the South China Sea all the whleenfaring a strict code of conduct upon har men. She also mamed her adopted son eother hand, were able to keep their riches and were given military jobs She livedout her63 years incharge of a casiho and brothel wih plundened Spanish chies oft tha coast of Florida, gving him tha nick name El Draque or Dace (the Drgonm). Most famous of his con- quest wene on the port af Nombe de Diosin 1572 and ports of Sando Oomingo and Cartagens in 1585 King Philp I was said to huwe offe- red a reward for his capture or deah of 23.000 ducats, about E$6S mlion by modem standards Healso saled to North America and cla- ned new landon the Pacifc coast for Queen Elizabeth becoming the successfulEngish colonists af Roancke bland off the coast of the Ca oins and gree them pasage to England wbound his wisel After an Bustrious creer Dake died off the coast of Fanama to something as #20 HENRY MORGAN The Wakh Captain Henry Margan is one of the mest amous pirtes buit ha neputation as a piate when he plundered Santiago De Cb Worgan became the beed of the Jamalcan feet and successfully un hy Panama City with thirty sips and 1.200 men,aquring his largest plunder yet.it was dlue to his aid on Panama City that he was anested him ล5 deputy govermor of Jamaica There, he lived a very welespec. SORRY FOR LONG POST HERE'S A PIRATE POTATO HAVE A NICE DAY) The Most Famous Pirates - Part 4
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Arsenal, Community, and Energy: AC-409 MK III VALKYRIE LCARS 14785 FEDERATION ATTACK FIGHTER KEY: Warp Coils Nav Array Bussard Radome Advanced Tactical Sensor Suite Twin Tandem ITD-900 Impulse Drive Nozzle Engine Systems Maintainence Bays 11.1cm Type ll Ablative Hull Armor (11.5cm OCP) Type VI Phaser Arrays (78 degrees firing arc, 2 forward & 2 aft) Micro Torpedo Launchers (2 with 24 micro torpedoes each) Standard RCS Thruster Assembly Type XIII Deflector 390 Isoton/s Shield Emitters Type XII Pulse Fire Phaser Cannon Mark XXVII Photon Torpedoes Torpedo Launcher (5 Photon or 15 Micro) Type V Micro Photon Torpedoes Long/Short Range Subspace Antennae M-142 RF Mass Driver Twin-Mount Type l Tetryon Pulse Phase Cannon ECM/ECCM Pods (countermeasures) Mark I Hellborne Torpedo Tactical Sensor Suite Arrays Hell-Hound Cluster Bomb LCARS ACCS 2315006 auctorlucan: AC-409 Mk III Valkyrie Federation Attack Fighter by Auctor-Lucan These are the space fighters the Lone-Wolves Squadron use in Star Trek: Theurgy. While they were inspired by the old Gryphon-class fighters originally designed by KadenDark (http://galen82.deviantart.com/), the 3D model was a commissioning done by Pinarci on DeviantArt (http://pinarci.deviantart.com/) via his Fiverr account (https://www.fiverr.com/mehmetpinarci). The model and its concept is owned by me, but this project could not have turned out the way it did without Pinarci. Original idea, edits, texts and add-ons to the 3D render of the ships were made by yours truly.Projects like these are a process, and this proved to be a long one with a lot of revisions, but in the end, Pinarci exceeded all expectations and then some. While 3D artists in general might provide excellent overall work, he excel in this specific field. He is *the* 3D shipbuilder out there, and if anyone has need to make spaceships for games or animations, look no further. ————————————————————————————— BACKGROUND INFORMATION:  TACTICAL CONN THE VALKYRIE PROGRAM The formation of the Starfleet Aerospace Command is heavily influenced by the successful deployment of Peregrine-class fighters aboard the starships serving as carriers in the fleet, yet the USS Theurgy does not hold a squadron of Peregrine-class fighter aboard, but the more developed Valkyrie-class. Namely, the prototype Mk III version, a superior fighter that make use of recent advances in technology. The year 2375 - after the conclusion of the Dominion War - the AC-409 Mk I Valkyries were deployed. These fighters were assigned to the USS Typhon [TNG game: Star Trek: Invasion]. They were initially designed as a carrier-based fleet engagement craft. Initially, the design proved successful, with a high survivability rate matching the heavy fire power available to bring down larger ships. In learning that a full squadron of Valkyries would still require a lot of support from for engagements of a Dominion-War level threat, Starfleet deemed that the attack fighter needed an upgrade. By 2381, these fighters are still being deployed in fairly limited numbers - shuffled around the fleet. Another development at the time was that a group of influential admirals in the fleet demanded to form a new - evaluational - department that hand-picked the Conn officers with the most tactical training. It was the only way, they reckoned, to ensure that the fleet used the right kind of pilots for these fighters. The original score of 400 personnel -  the fleets new Tactical Conn officers - served as the foundation for a new and more organised department for fighter pilots. They accepted only the highest scoring Conn or fight-trained Security or Tactical Cadets, and then dealt them another year of training in the fields they lacked from their Academy training. White became the chosen colour for the department, and the admirals that rode this project into history became the core of the Aerospace Command.Both the Mk I and II Valkyries used Rear Intercept Officers (RIOs). The efficiency in which the attack fighters were operated were doubled by allowing the pilots to focus solely on the manoeuvres and weapons employment of the craft during a fight, allowing the RIO to handle comm traffic, emergency repairs and tactic simulations. Among the improvements for the Mk II Valkyrie were a new ablative armour compound, improved power plant, and the employment of a hardpoint system beneath the wings. With the Mk II, the Valkyrie truly stepped into a class of her own. At the success of the Mk II and the fleet-wide deployment of the Valkyries in the fleet, Starfleet Command began looking into the Valkyrie with more interest. Initially, they had considered Tactical Conn another spear in Starfleet’s arsenal. So when the project was given new funding, RD went back to the drawing board to see what could be improved on an already formidable weapon.The first step was to increase the command, control and reconnaissance capabilities of the design. Originally, the Valkyrie (both Mk I and Mk II) employed an Isolinear twin-core design computer system, with 372 Isolinear banks and 106 command preprocessors and data analysis units. This design was quite successful for the use of standard comm traffic control and tactical targeting, but newer sensor package upgrades intended for the Valkyrie were hampered by a core that was already at its limit for processing power. So, with the eagerness of little boys with a new toy to take apart, RD began a computer system redesign from the ground up, which would lead to hull, engine and weapons redesign, and end in an almost completely new Space Superiority attack fighter: the AC-409 Mk III Valkyrie.By the time, Hyperjet Quantite Mk IV reactor cores were being successfully implemented in the experimental Knight-class interceptor. These core types could be sized variably (depending on the design requirements) while still maintaining a very high energy output. A twin-core design was drafted for the new Mk III, and projected numbers suggested the Mk III would see a 25% increase to power output than the Mk I II series. With this increase in power output, a larger computer core system was designed. Utilizing bio-neural processors and relays, the original frame space needed for the computer systems was reduced, and spread out through the centreline of the craft. Computational capacity and storage was increased by another 30%, and a new tactical link-up library software system was implemented. The system provided a clearer and more accurate battlefield image the pilot, and the integration was so effective that the RIOs were not needed any more - only one pilot required in the cockpit.With this new freedom of space within the spacecraft hull, RD decided a more streamlined hull would benefit the pilot. Their new, sportier look reduced sensor cross-section and improved warp field stability for the twin quantite reactor cores. With the hull redesign came minor changes to weapons load-out: the arrangement of the standard Type-XII pulse phaser cannons and microtorpedo launchers in the Mk II changed only slightly to fit into the new spaceframe. The hard-point system was simplified, and the pulse phaser cell-magazine rack was switched from a vertical feed system to a horizontal feed system – this to combat original design flaws and jams during gravity-inducing combat manoeuvres.Lastly, one more weapon was added: a tetryon pulse phase cannon was installed on the underside of the cockpit within its own hull compartment. This cannon was installed for ground suppression roles, and to give the Valkyrie an added punch in the Space Superiority role. The drawback to the tetryon pulse phase cannon is that it draws a lot of power and given its size, craft manoeuvrability is severely impeded when utilizing the weapon. Though the weapon itself could effectively neutralize enemy engine and weapons systems as well as due considerable damage, the weapon itself failed at a remarkable rate when engaged in combat manoeuvres. A straight-line course was required for the weapon to work effectively, limiting it to the dangerous Head-to-Head combat manoeuvre, and strafing of ground or orbital targets. With these weapon enhancements and increase in power, a slightly larger pair of shield generators were installed, increasing shield sustainable load to 390 isotons/second. The ablative armour was also thickened from 10.7 cm to 11.1 cm.The top speed and warp capabilities of the Mk III remained virtually unchanged, but the increased power output from the new quantite cores benefited the improved avionics, sensor, weapons and shield systems more than her speed. Despite of this, the Valkyrie Mk III could easily go toe-to-toe with the fastest Interceptors currently in service. What she lacked in speed, she made up for in raw firepower. As of 2381, the Mk III Valkyrie remained a prototype test model, but with the recent development in intergalactic politics and the potential Romulan threat, the project was pushed towards immediate deployment by Aerospace Command. So, since the new version of the Prometheus-class starship - the USS Theurgy - was not only being fitted with an A.I. inter-phase, but with a fully operational (if small) fighter assault bay, the decision was made. The Theurgy was given a complement of sixteen Mk III fighters with their own Squadron Commanding Officer and a crew of thirty technicians hailing from Starfleet Operations or Engineering Corps. The sixteen pilots were named the Lone-Wolves, and though decimated to only twelve pilots after their escape from Earth, the survivors remain - fighting to preserve the truth of the corrupted Starfleet Command.————————————————————————————— This role-play group and the promotional trailer functions solely as a non-profit entertainment for writers where no economical gain is perceived by any of its members as a result of the available media. Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Enterprise, the Star Trek movies, etc. are © Copyright Paramount Pictures or CBS Studios.Star Trek: Theurgy is a well-established Play-by-Post Simple Machines Message Board RP, and also a part of the House of Eros online community. This Star Trek Group RP has 15 active players and it is but one of hundreds of role-playing opportunities presented at the House of Eros (http://houseeros.com/roleplay-role-playing-forum/index.php). So, in order to join the Star Trek: Theurgy group, you will have to join the House of Eros community.The House of Eros is an adult community, and while the Star Trek: Theurgy RP is extremely storydriven, it should be mentioned that it is still rated 18+ and has sexual content. The House of Eros site as been submitted as ‘Explicity for Adults’ to various rating groups, in the interests of protecting minors from its various sexual and mature content. The site is intended for online roleplay and erotic web fiction. You must be 18 or older to be a member. If we find anyone who is younger than that, it will result in an immediate ban. Please see site rules for further information: http://houseeros.com/roleplay-role-playing-forum/index.php?topic=12680.0Link to joining information (after joining HoE): http://houseeros.com/roleplay-role-playing-forum/index.php?topic=15657.0Link to the Star Trek: Theurgy MB: http://houseeros.com/roleplay-role-playing-forum/index.php?board=116.0Watch the Star Trek: Theurgy Promotional Trailer Ver. 2.1 here: http://vimeo.com/auctorlucan/theurgyLink to our Tumblr blog: http://auctorlucan.tumblr.com/

auctorlucan: AC-409 Mk III Valkyrie Federation Attack Fighter by Auctor-Lucan These are the space fighters the Lone-Wolves Squadron use ...

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Baseball, Batman, and Cars: MEMBERS /r/Gaming comments related other discussions My experience with GTA Online Gimgur.com) submitted 5 hours ago by abcmatt 754 comments share save hide give gold report sorted by: top you are viewing a single comment's thread. view the rest of the comments- I-1 TheScarletCravat 85 points 1 hour ago I never shoot people unless shot at. Needless to say, my k/d ratio is rather poor! I do like to believe that people will be inherently good if you offer friendship in the game. My character is a classic French Mime, complete with a fleet of two tone black and white cars. I communicate entirely through Jazz Hands. When I first started my career as a Vinewood Street performer/d-list Batman villain I drove up to the nearest player and got out of the car. Now, I'd built this up in my head as my debut, almost: the moment where I find out if I can have good clean, non-murdering fun in the game! I climbed out, bowtie and beret at saucy angles, and throw up my jazz hands, waving frantically as if the world depended on it. The other player, nestled inside his sports car, did nothing. He sat there at the intersection as cars queued up behind him. I was fucked. He was going to run me over. But he didn't. The door opened and out steps a dude in a full tweed suit and a fox for a head. He took one look at me, and began to frantically jazz hand back. I remember how we stood for five minutes, waving at each other, all the while NPCs yelled and tried to drive past. We just stood there, basking in the sweet glow of silent acknowledgement that we were both a pair of pretentious, airy-fairy weirdos in a world full of savage mistrust. We climbed in the car. He sent me a text saying 'Never leave'. I waved my hands enthusiastically and told him I would never. We drove around for what felt like hours, continuously driving up to other players, getting out and jazz-handing. Of course, many were hostile Some immediately joined in. Others eventually understood our cause and stopped attacking, only to wave with us. It was kinda euphoric. Someone brought a bus and we filled it with players and we drove around, congregating in front of people and waving wildly Easily the closest I've ever got to starting a cult. It went tits up, eventually. There were around eight of us, and two guys turned up in the armoured car with the turret. We were fucked, obviously, passive-mode or no. The converts with more violent pasts sadly relapsed and opened fire, and the more devout found it difficult not to add the the fray once the rocket launchers were broken out. I'll never know, but it felt a little like they were protecting their Pope. I stood in the middle, waving my hands like a madman. Burning cars thundered past me, the warm light touching my white silk gloves. Before I was squashed flat by the truck, the last thing I made out through the carnage was The Fox, beating the body of a driver on the tarmac with a baseball bat. I have not seen him since. I miss him. permalink embed save report give gold reply
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