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Apparently, Ass, and Drunk: snarling-through-our-smiles I once lost my keys at a frat house. My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully- disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out do not remember The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I'd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before. A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing. "I lost my keys in here last night, I called back. "I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?" He opened the door and gestured for me o come in. "Go wherever you want." I'd never seen a frat house post-party Derore. Wandering up the stairs a by hungover and still-drunk frat boys sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I'm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination. I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller- esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed. "Do you like dog movies?" he asked, voice from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket. I told him I did. e mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking my keys. "Sorry, I haven't seen any keys around bere I didn't doubt him. Twenty minutes had passed. I'd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear- at dumn-site of a bathroom in that house. I'd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates' forgiveness and get a new set copied. As I stood there in the hallway, silently a particularly burly frat boy approached me. "You need help with something? "I lost my keys here last night and I can't find them, I've looked everywhere. "What do they look like? I'll put it into the group chat. He was already pulling out his phone. No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Um, it's just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can't miss He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat. "Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck. e turned and left. And with that, A few moments later, I heard a distant and it was getting louder and louder, One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me. "Someone tell the girl!" One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. "Girl! Hey, GIRL! We found your keys, girl!!! They circled around me. I hadn't felt that old, One of them split himself off from the crowd. "Are these -"he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, "your keys? And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring. "Yes,"I whispered. "Oh my god, yes." "EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!!" The cheer went up. Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of "no problems" and then, just suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night. gatorfisch THIS is boys will be boys Nice Frathouse
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Blade, God, and Love: no INVADER5, FRIEND! JUST POPPED Out co BOBBOW MY BROCHER'S AX JARNBJORn FOR A BIC. no one 15 Anyone in JOTUNHEIM WITHOUT A BLADE, RIGHT? ...AnD I BACHER DOUBT THEY'D HAVE LEC mE KEEP HEIMDALL'S 5WORD. BIGHT on cue. WHAT HO, CICIZENS! HOW CAN YOUR KING SERVE HIS PEOPLE THIS FINE, BLUSTERY DAY? WE SAW THE BIFROST, "YOUR MAJESTY." WE FEARED IT MAY BE AN ATTACK FROM SOME...ASGARDIAN INVADER. RRG--THE SWORD THAT KILLED KING LAUFEY you'D BE CLOSE I KILLED LAUFEY THE SWORD HELPED. HADN'T YOu HEARD? I'm A HERO now. HERE'S A SECRET ABOUT JOTUNHEIM-- THERE'S MAGIC in THE AIR SNRRT BUT CHE AVERAGE DenIZEn 1sn't WHAT YOU'D CALL...ADEPT. MY TRIBE WILL RESPECT YOUR BLOOD CLAIM TO THE THRONE BUT SURRENDER THE IMPLING HE IS A NUISANCE WITH A CHILD'S MIND AND NO TASTE FOR BATTLE HE'LL COOK FASTER THAN ANY GOAT. 15 CHAC WHO I Am TO BE KING OF? A PACK OF CANNIBALS? IT'S NOT CANNIBALISM IF HE'S NOT ONE OF US. OF COURSE "not onE OF US." GODS, BUT I Am CIRED OF "HAVE AT HEARING CHAT. VERY WELL THEN THAT I5, IF I WAS FIGHTING FAIR. THERE'S onLY onE THING THESE GIANTS RESPECT. I'm GOING TO NEED TO GET A LITTLE BIGGER. XY DNX YB XY PYSR THEE." I'm COMPLETELY DOOMED, OF COURSE NO, YOUR MAJESTY! LIKE AN AVENGER. (YOu KnoW THE ONE.) DRBF! WHAC ARE YOU DOING?! I'm CASTINGA SPELL CO SAVE uS, you SUICIDAL SnoW monKEy! PLEASE, NO MORE! NO MORE BLOOD! NO. THIS OutComE WAS not ENTIRELY EXPECTED. SO BE IT! TO THE END OF KINGS!!! THE WAR IS OVER. HRRGMPH. WE'LL SEE THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAR. HE'S RIGHT, in HI5 5TONE BRAINED WAY AND I WAS WBONG. noT EVERYONE I15 BORN 5MALL WELL. THAT WAS EXCITiNG. PERHAPS NEXT Time, I SHOULD BORROW MJOLNIR. I IMAGINE I'LL BE WORTHY enouGH Any DAY now CHANК УOu FOR THE RESCUE, DRBF, MAKER-OF-Fun NUISANCE-OF JOCUNHEIM. 50mE OF U5 ARE BORN GIANTS. I HAVE An unusuAL PROPOSICION FOR YOu THIS I5 THE SCORY OF THE TIME AFCER THE WAR. OF HOW THE SMALLEST OF THE GIANTS CAME TO SIT AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE THRONE.... ...AnD A SCORY OF THE OUTCAST WHO WOULD SIT UPON IT. A NEW KIND OF KING. A NEW KIND OF GOD. ONE WHO BULES nOt BY THE BLADE GRUMBLE AS YOU LIKE, SICKLE, BUT THE SMALL ONE IS ANOINTED. AND PROTECTED BESIDES SRRF FOR NOW But BY THE SHIELD. TO BE CONTINUED IN KI why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua & David Curiel

why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua

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Crime, Tumblr, and Blog: KER jasker: i hadnt draw @baited-in‘s red snakeskin jasper and that is an absolute crime i HAD to amend 💕s… she hot.. 💦💦

jasker: i hadnt draw @baited-in‘s red snakeskin jasper and that is an absolute crime i HAD to amend 💕s… she hot.. 💦💦

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Being Alone, Friends, and Hello: firesuns: spirituallyminded: It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore. “Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh. “Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice. “We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.” Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.” Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house. Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?” “We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.” “Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more; no less. ~ Kathryn Wallace

firesuns: spirituallyminded: It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats...

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