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Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN RUSSIAN TO READ IN 15 MINUTES By PETER STARR NORTHROA AND RAN ESTRADA ใ€ โ˜… ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN. SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ. HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR YOURSELF THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH STUFF THAT'S TOTALLH THE SAME SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND THAT MAKES A GREAT STARTING POINT FOR YOU TOMKAT F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A' MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH" LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST LEVEL 2VOWELS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS FATHER BED YO YOU BLL THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK. EVE ALTER HOURE VOWELS THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW TATA TAVI TIE TO TO TOM TWEE KEY (BUT STRONGER) lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian

lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian

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Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who donโ€™t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT ๐Ÿ‘ DAMN ๐Ÿ‘ THING ๐Ÿ‘ ON ๐Ÿ‘ THAT ๐Ÿ‘ SCREEN ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ GO ๐Ÿ‘ BABY ๐Ÿ‘ GIRL ๐Ÿ‘ EFF ๐Ÿ‘ JOEL ๐Ÿ‘ WITCHOE ๐Ÿ‘ SHARP ๐Ÿ‘ WIT ๐Ÿ‘ AND ๐Ÿ‘ MOUNTAINOUS ๐Ÿ‘ TรˆTA$ ๐Ÿ‘ LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while Iโ€™m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but yโ€™all veins pump maple syrup it donโ€™t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer Iโ€™ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, yโ€™all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldnโ€™t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this ๐Ÿ˜‘ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org โค๏ธ. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
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Arguing, Beautiful, and Bless Up: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but is a tough girl and we think just as beautiful as ever! So Iโ€™m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit ๐Ÿ˜‚) and Iโ€™m like โ€œaye I seen your snap story you look super happy being homeโ€ and she like โ€œBreak is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper โ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ miss uโ€ <โ€” I did not edit this lmao this how she talk Iโ€™m pasting here to prove I ainโ€™t make this Sh!t up ๐Ÿฅถ. And Iโ€™m like โ€œJim?โ€ And she like โ€œMy father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€โ€ FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Yโ€™all really got the chancla confrused (yes โ€˜confrusedโ€™.) Yโ€™all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter ๐Ÿ˜‚. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ainโ€™t do! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM ๐Ÿ˜‚. Thatโ€™s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: โ€œgoodbye.โ€ Deada$$. Like โ€œgood ๐Ÿ‘......bye ๐Ÿ˜ฅโ€. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical โ€˜byeโ€™. Thatโ€™s not even a โ€œtalk it outโ€. Thatโ€™s just one of them โ€œpack a small suitcase and literally dipโ€ like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now ๐Ÿ˜ฌ) and she donโ€™t recognize me and Iโ€™m like โ€œmama?โ€ And she like โ€œI am sorry u at the wrong house.โ€ And Iโ€™m like โ€œmama Iโ€™m your son.โ€ And she like โ€œI HAD a son. He died.โ€ YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).

So Iโ€™m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit ๐Ÿ˜‚) and Iโ€™m like โ€œaye I seen you...

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Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it! Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeรฑos with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that donโ€™t necessarily go together? โ€œSmash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?โ€ I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ˜. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better ๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿป. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. โ€œwow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we donโ€™t have anything that spicy here.โ€ BISH YES U DO, LOOK ๐Ÿ‘ FOR ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ MEXICANS ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚. I been telling yโ€™all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? โ€œHOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.โ€ well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? ๐Ÿ˜‚ just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so Iโ€™ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental ๐Ÿฅณ. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like โ€œdamn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?โ€ And you can say I took smashโ€™s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now Iโ€™m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
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Ass, Bitch, and Cute: THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT COT SHIT TO SAY ABOUT ME THE AMOUNT OF PPL THAT'S CONNA SAY OR DO SOMETHING WHEN THEY SEE I remember about 1ยฝ years ago a soldier on Schofield angrily dm'd me after going through his wife's phone. It was in reference to his wife sliding into my dm asking me to meet up and smash in her 2005 chevy tahoe, in the parking structure of @24hourfitness_pearlcity. I declined the offer. She was cute, I ain't gon lie. I woulda went balls deep. But declined the offer nonetheless. Something was a little off about her. And I just said to myself, "Nah ima pass". I just told her that if she wanted to workout and take a few selfies, we could. I told him the same thing. He didn't wanna hear allat, though. And he threatened my life ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ talm bout "Why you hittin on my wife? You a bitch and ima kill yo ass." First of all, I didn't eeeem know she was married cause you ain't on her page. At all. Second of all I just seen her on Tinder so she probably already cheatin on yo lame ass. Third of all, I don't smash wives anymore. I learned my lesson and changed my ways. And lastly...BET!!!!!!!!! I'll be your huckleberry like a MF. So I told him to meet me at the Martinez gym parking lot and we can squab. Then I left my house, in Kailua, and drove 40 minutes to Schofield and waited 2 hours on him to show up. And I was lifting while I waited! So I was already fatiguing my muscles so he could have a better chance of takin my life like he swore he would have. Bitch ass nigga was a no show ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
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Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and your owners let you up on the hotel bed @DrSmashlove (Sound on ๐Ÿ”Š) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isnโ€™t laundry everywhere ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜‚ โ€œwowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ SO ๐Ÿ‘ DEMANDING ๐Ÿ‘ THEN ๐Ÿ‘ MAKE ๐Ÿ‘ MY ๐Ÿ‘ BED ๐Ÿ‘ THEN ๐Ÿ‘ LAY ๐Ÿ‘ IN ๐Ÿ‘ IT ๐Ÿ‘ D!CKFACE ๐Ÿ‘. LOOKIN A$$ ๐Ÿ˜ค.โ€ Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed โ€œIT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTEโ€ *my haunting mamaโ€™s voice* BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ [Editorโ€™s Note: shout to u ladies who be like โ€œWELL. I really want you to come up ๐Ÿ˜Œ. But my place is a mess LOL!โ€ Me: *shannon sharpe voice* โ€œTHAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ainโ€™t no problem ๐Ÿ˜Š.โ€ Girl: โ€œLOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!โ€ Me: *judges vigorously in secret* ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚. Second editorโ€™s note: โ€œwowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess heโ€™s just another worthless man now.โ€ Me: yโ€™all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ainโ€™t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER โ€˜sensually exploratory by dispositionโ€™ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS ๐Ÿ‘ UP ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚]
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America, Be Like, and Bless Up: Kirk, a female Border Collie, watching herself win the 2017 Purina Pro Challenge. DOG PLAN p3 Ainโ€™t I been told yโ€™all?! BYOBC. No, not bring your own bottle - bring ya own is bottle is cancelled stop drinking so damn much and enjoy the Thai food without the liquor cot dammit that curry is delicious on its own without the merlot but lemme not start, thatโ€™s for another day lmao. BYOBC mean Be Ya Own Biggest Cheerleader. U feel me? Always. Celebrate ya own success. Motivate YOURSELF. Ultimately among friends but even among family u gon have people cheering for you buuuuuuut NOT really cheering for u ๐Ÿ˜‚. This ainโ€™t bc they evil! They might be - like some of them - but mainly they probably just a lil tight that they ainโ€™t having success like u. U feel me? Thatโ€™s why u gotta watch out sometimes about bragging about ya accomplishments all on Facebook and LinkedIn like โ€œtruly humbled to humbly be awarded the 40 Under 40 in My [Extremely Specific Field of Work] in [Oddly Specific Geographic Region]โ€. U really humble bc u seem hella braggadocious right now no shots lol. Just keep some of that inside and be thankful to God and celebrate with yourself not bc u the sh!t but because u know that out of all the people that God could have rewarded for they hard work he chose you. โ€œBut smash I work 10x harder than all my friends, I deserve my success!โ€ No. U deserve nothing. Itโ€™s Filipino workmen in Dubai right now building buildings in 120 degree heat to make a lil scratch to send home. THEY work harder than u. Itโ€™s just that u was born in America and they was born in the Philippines u get me! Thatโ€™s why every time I pull an all nighter for work on a transaction, I remember that but for the Grace of God, I could be in Dubai on the 98th floor of a building working myself to death. May God always make us thankful and may he reward our hard work. Be ya own cheerleader beloveds! Bless up โค๏ธ
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