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    Apple, Fall, and God: ++ProfCupcake 4.8k points 15 days ago
 -You can't call yourself a real programmer unless you built the chip yourself
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++qsdf321 2.6k points 15 days ago
 Only if you've mined the silicon manually
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++ProfCupcake 1.5k points 15 days ago
 -- Pff. Amateur. You're only a real programmer if you planted the silicon in the
 rock yourself.
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++ 2Punx2Furious us
 _ well, I was part of the star that went supernova and made all the silicon on
 1.0k points 15 days ago
 earth, so I kind of did (but so are you)
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++morphoyle 503 points15 days ago
 -I already invented the universe in an attempt to make an apple pie
 Does that count?
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++signalwave 431 points 15 days ago
 -- Can we talk? I have a few... feature requests.
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++MyceliumSpirit 258 points 15 days ago
 -- Personally would like some bugs fixed
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++Nekopawed 445 points 15 days ago
 -- Fixed memory dump when walking into a new room
 Fixed issue where eyelash, that is meant to prevent things
 falling into your eye, would fall into your eye
 Patched dreams.dll to allow for lucid dreaming as a startup
 parameter
 Removed dream where you forgot you had a class you needed
 to graduate from the dream rotation.
 Nerfed damage from stubbing toe to slight discomfort from
 near fatal.
 Made common sense a common trait from uncommon.
 Added garbage collection for inside of eyes to reduce impact
 of floaters.
 Fixed issue where cells would randomly start replicating out of
 control causing a fatal crash before end of product life
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++devoxel 165 points 15 days ago
If god was a programmer
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apple, Fall, and God: ++ProfCupcake 4.8k points 15 days ago
 -You can't call yourself a real programmer unless you built the chip yourself
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++qsdf321 2.6k points 15 days ago
 Only if you've mined the silicon manually
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++ProfCupcake 1.5k points 15 days ago
 -- Pff. Amateur. You're only a real programmer if you planted the silicon in the
 rock yourself.
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++ 2Punx2Furious us
 _ well, I was part of the star that went supernova and made all the silicon on
 1.0k points 15 days ago
 earth, so I kind of did (but so are you)
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++morphoyle 503 points15 days ago
 -I already invented the universe in an attempt to make an apple pie
 Does that count?
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++signalwave 431 points 15 days ago
 -- Can we talk? I have a few... feature requests.
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++MyceliumSpirit 258 points 15 days ago
 -- Personally would like some bugs fixed
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++Nekopawed 445 points 15 days ago
 -- Fixed memory dump when walking into a new room
 Fixed issue where eyelash, that is meant to prevent things
 falling into your eye, would fall into your eye
 Patched dreams.dll to allow for lucid dreaming as a startup
 parameter
 Removed dream where you forgot you had a class you needed
 to graduate from the dream rotation.
 Nerfed damage from stubbing toe to slight discomfort from
 near fatal.
 Made common sense a common trait from uncommon.
 Added garbage collection for inside of eyes to reduce impact
 of floaters.
 Fixed issue where cells would randomly start replicating out of
 control causing a fatal crash before end of product life
 Reply Share Report Save
 ++devoxel 165 points 15 days ago
If god was a programmer
                    
                
            

            
                
                
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    Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”