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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: Clifford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem. Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town. Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townstfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll. Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two. "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident. "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously Ignoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually" He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you." "You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM lolzandtrollz:Big Red Dog

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Batman, Bitch, and Click: gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
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Alive, America, and Anaconda: Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump Follow In 1960, there were approximately 20,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations. Today there are over 185,000 pages, as seen in the Roosevelt Room Today, we CUT THE RED TAPE! It is time to SET FREE OUR DREAMS and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! WH Gov TODAY 0:12 2.55M views 3:35 PM-14 Dec 2017 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid Following Every one of those pages protects your food from being filled with rat droppings, spoiled meat out of your deli, lead out of your paint, your child's medicine from being defective & corporations from polluting the air you breathe or dumping medical waste in the water you wade in Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump In 1960, there were approximately 20,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations. Today there are over 185,000 pages, as seen in the Roosevelt Room... 0:38 6:36 PM -14 Dec 2017 Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h company becaus profitable to cut corners. And if no one's looking, people cut corners. Deregulation is not so good if you value clean air, water and safe food, medicine and workplaces. Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h Deregulation is designed to do only one thing: make corporations more profitable, by reducing the cost of doing business. Making products cleaner and safer costs money. Making workplaces safe and clean costs money. Keeping the air clean means less drilling, so less money. Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h Donald Trump is a president straight out of the 1920s. Cal Coolidge has nothing on him. 164 880 4.2 feynites: bogleech: themightyglamazon: jumpingjacktrash: oh my god. let me share a memory with y’all. it’s from i guess 1978 or thereabouts. it’s high summer. i don’t remember where my mom was driving me, in our avocado green chevette, i just know there was a traffic jam that turned 35w northbound into a parking lot from horizon to horizon. picture it – wait, you don’t have to use your imagination, this happened all the damn time back then. every one of those damn cars was burning leaded gasoline. there were no emissions regulations. there were no safety regulations. there were just thousands and thousands of detroit steel shoeboxes belching visible smoke as they idled, engines loud and hot, here and there a radiator giving up in the heat, a cloud of burning oil rising. i, a smeet of five or six, was choking on toxic smog. i reckon it was about a half hour into the traffic jam that i first threw up. i remember a blinding headache, i remember being confused, i remember dry heaving with my arms and head hanging out the window, the green metal of the car burning my hands and my chin. i don’t remember passing out, but i’m told i lost consciousness before mom was able to get to an off-ramp, because there were no emergency lanes on the highways back then. i lived. and life went on. what were we going to do, complain? if i’d died, the cause of death probably would’ve been recorded as heatstroke, not carbon monoxide poisoning. i know i’m probably preaching to the choir here on tumblr. but i really wish i could tell that story to the people who think deregulation is no big deal. i wish they’d put themselves in my mom’s shoes. or even just look at some old pictures, then look out the window. ever notice how cityscapes used to have that orange tint and hazy aura? yeah, that’s poison gas. remember how the mississippi river used to be a stinking soup of baby-shit yellow sludge covered with disturbingly stiff rafts of light orange foam? i can’t even find pictures of the sludge and foam, i guess they didn’t end up on the internet. the smell was indescribable. that oily shimmer. the reek of dead things. people didn’t boat on the river for pleasure; it smelled too bad, it was too ugly, and you could get super super sick if you touched the water. and now look at it. i still wouldn’t want to drink it, but if i fell in i wouldn’t bolt for the shower in a panic, you know? if the thieving billionaires get their way, we can kiss those sailboats goodbye, and learn the smell of toxic foam once more. the ultra-rich won’t even feel the extra money, they’ve already got more than they could ever touch, they just stash it in offshore accounts to rot, but the rest of us will return to a time of neverending nausea and weird cancers. a time when every elementary school class had at least one kind who’d been born with no fingers or their heart outside their body, and this was just… the way things were. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to longpost. it’s just. god. y’all have no idea how CLEAN everything is now, compared to when i was a kid. and these rich old men are counting on that, on people not knowing or not remembering how bad it was before regulation, not realizing how much we need these protections until it’s too late. I enforce federal worker health and safety and pollution regulations.  When I was learning my trade, when my classmates and I were having a chuckle over the “well duh” level of specificity written into the Code of Federal Regulations (try “no hazardous material shall be stored in crew berthing” on for size), I will never forget the silence that followed when our instructor spoke these words: “Your regulations are written in blood.” These regulations were not written on a whim. They were written because someone thought they could cut costs by storing however many more pounds of a radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic, or whatever else material in the same rooms where the human beings they paid to transport those materials slept, and then did that, because no one was telling them not to.  They were written because people died. Horrifically. Because unregulated capitalism values profit over human life and suffering.  Can I say it again, for those not paying attention?  Unregulated capitalism values profit over human life and suffering. Do we also need to fucking talk about the Radium Girls again who slowly fucking rotted alive because the company they worked for deliberately hid knowledge of radium’s effects on living matter? I’m gonna talk about it. It’s depressing and dark as hell, but if anyone ever thinks to themselves that companies will just regulate out of a sense of civic duty or basic human morality, and don’t need outside enforcement, then they need to keep this story in mind. United States Radium Corporation that knew radium was lethal, and hired factory girls to work at painting watches with glow-in-the-dark radium faces. To emphasize - they knew radium was lethal and dangerous. Scientists who worked with it wore safety equipment and knew better than to touch it with bare skin. The factory girls, on the other hand, were instructed by their employers to keep the tips of their paint brushes pointed by sucking them between their lips. An act that guaranteed that they were ingesting small amounts of radium daily. They were told that radium was safe, and in small doses even good for you - United States Radium Corporation had paid for ‘studies’ and promoted other products which used small amounts of radium, and had branded at as, basically, a medicinal curative that just need to be doled out in appropriate dosages. This was bullshit, and not even bullshit which the company higher ups could reasonably be expected to actually believe on all levels, with the information that they had readily at hand. What they knew was that a small amount of radium wouldn’t kill you right away, and that there was a two year statute of limitations on workers compensation claims. When the girls began dying and the finger was pointed at radium, the president of the United States Radium Corporation had an independent researcher investigate the claim. The research established that the link between the girls’ deaths and radium was clear. The company, not liking that result, covered up the independent research and hired other people to simply state that this was not the case. Of course, by this point there were dying factory workers who were literally glowing in the goddamn dark, whose bones had become so infused with radium that they were visibly radioactive in their autopsies (when said bones weren’t just falling out of them while they were alive, anyway), so of course the company was forced to admit - oh wait, no, they started stealing dead women’s bones from morgues so that they could dispute their causes of death. Like. Let’s be clear. United States Radium Corporation didn’t just fail to keep their workers sufficiently informed, they didn’t just not investigate things well enough, which would have been bad enough on its own. They told their employees to ingest a deadly substance, and when those DYING WOMEN got together with their last breaths to try and make the world aware of what was going on, purely to try and keep it from killing all the other girls who might get jobs in factories (because they were all doomed to painful cancerous death themselves), they paid for hush-ups and cover-ups and fake studies, and stooped to full-on grave robbing to keep people from finding out that they were killing women in droves. There were factory workers giving testimonies as they physically fell apart on their death beds. The company’s response was not to even revise workers’ regulations to be more safe. It was entirely, 100%, to lie about it, so they could keep making money and keep killing their workers. And do you want to know what happened to that company? To the United States Radium Corporation? It eventually became The Safety Light Corporation, and was decommissioned in 2005. The radium girls were dying in the late 1920′s. The company that killed them didn’t even go under with them, didn’t even die when their efforts to raise awareness actually resulted in better and more stringent regulations. So the prospect that better regulations will hurt a corporation are laughable. Even the corporations that deserve to be destroyed by them still manage to do alright when they’re forced to make less money and kill fewer people. Boo hoo, how sad for them. But inadequate regulations will kill actual human people. Full stop. Some companies will still adhere to ethics, sure, some will have people in charge or on various levels who care and can intervene. But not all of them. And the United States Radium Corporation was just ONE company. One company, that had no regulations to hold it accountable, that decided it didn’t care - and so many women died horrible, horrible deaths for it. Do not ever let anyone kid you about the ramifications of deregulation. And do not forget that people who died, with their dying breath, fought to establish regulations to keep you safe. Anyone who takes them away is spitting on their graves.
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America, Bad, and Cars: Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump Follow In 1960, there were approximately 20,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations. Today there are over 185,000 pages, as seen in the Roosevelt Room Today, we CUT THE RED TAPE! It is time to SET FREE OUR DREAMS and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! WH Gov TODAY 0:12 2.55M views 3:35 PM-14 Dec 2017 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid Following Every one of those pages protects your food from being filled with rat droppings, spoiled meat out of your deli, lead out of your paint, your child's medicine from being defective & corporations from polluting the air you breathe or dumping medical waste in the water you wade in Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump In 1960, there were approximately 20,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations. Today there are over 185,000 pages, as seen in the Roosevelt Room... 0:38 6:36 PM -14 Dec 2017 Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h company becaus profitable to cut corners. And if no one's looking, people cut corners. Deregulation is not so good if you value clean air, water and safe food, medicine and workplaces. Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h Deregulation is designed to do only one thing: make corporations more profitable, by reducing the cost of doing business. Making products cleaner and safer costs money. Making workplaces safe and clean costs money. Keeping the air clean means less drilling, so less money. Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid .22h Donald Trump is a president straight out of the 1920s. Cal Coolidge has nothing on him. 164 880 4.2 jumpingjacktrash: oh my god. let me share a memory with y’all. it’s from i guess 1978 or thereabouts. it’s high summer. i don’t remember where my mom was driving me, in our avocado green chevette, i just know there was a traffic jam that turned 35w northbound into a parking lot from horizon to horizon. picture it – wait, you don’t have to use your imagination, this happened all the damn time back then. every one of those damn cars was burning leaded gasoline. there were no emissions regulations. there were no safety regulations. there were just thousands and thousands of detroit steel shoeboxes belching visible smoke as they idled, engines loud and hot, here and there a radiator giving up in the heat, a cloud of burning oil rising. i, a smeet of five or six, was choking on toxic smog. i reckon it was about a half hour into the traffic jam that i first threw up. i remember a blinding headache, i remember being confused, i remember dry heaving with my arms and head hanging out the window, the green metal of the car burning my hands and my chin. i don’t remember passing out, but i’m told i lost consciousness before mom was able to get to an off-ramp, because there were no emergency lanes on the highways back then. i lived. and life went on. what were we going to do, complain? if i’d died, the cause of death probably would’ve been recorded as heatstroke, not carbon monoxide poisoning. i know i’m probably preaching to the choir here on tumblr. but i really wish i could tell that story to the people who think deregulation is no big deal. i wish they’d put themselves in my mom’s shoes. or even just look at some old pictures, then look out the window. ever notice how cityscapes used to have that orange tint and hazy aura? yeah, that’s poison gas. remember how the mississippi river used to be a stinking soup of baby-shit yellow sludge covered with disturbingly stiff rafts of light orange foam? i can’t even find pictures of the sludge and foam, i guess they didn’t end up on the internet. the smell was indescribable. that oily shimmer. the reek of dead things. people didn’t boat on the river for pleasure; it smelled too bad, it was too ugly, and you could get super super sick if you touched the water. and now look at it. i still wouldn’t want to drink it, but if i fell in i wouldn’t bolt for the shower in a panic, you know? if the thieving billionaires get their way, we can kiss those sailboats goodbye, and learn the smell of toxic foam once more. the ultra-rich won’t even feel the extra money, they’ve already got more than they could ever touch, they just stash it in offshore accounts to rot, but the rest of us will return to a time of neverending nausea and weird cancers. a time when every elementary school class had at least one kid who’d been born with no fingers or their heart outside their body, and this was just… the way things were. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to longpost. it’s just. god. y’all have no idea how CLEAN everything is now, compared to when i was a kid. and these rich old men are counting on that, on people not knowing or not remembering how bad it was before regulation, not realizing how much we need these protections until it’s too late. edit: replaced the last pic because i accidentally grabbed lake calhoun instead of the river. now it’s the mississippi.
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Being Alone, Bodies , and Fire: KIC STA 10 Here's a salutary lesson for anyone who uses Original Source mint and tea tree shower gel for the first time. It's pretty strong stuff. How strong? THIS strong. I Know, I Need To Stop Talking Yesterday at 2:35am Um, Original Source.. can we talk? I'd like to take you back to around 6.45am this morning, when I stepped into my bath, and found that my usual, rather innocuous bottle of shower gel (Waitrose essentials, Rose) had run out. A tad irritating, but fortuitously, I had a solution close to hand. A brand new, unopened bottle of your very own Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. My bodily cleanliness was assured once more. I breathed a sigh of relief I took the Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel and began to work it into a lather I applied it to first one leg, then the other, and shaved them diligently (Yes, feel free to be impressed at my commitment to body defoliation at 6.45am on a Wednesday morning. I was too.) So far, so good. I washed my arms and shaved underneath them. I washed my neck, breasts, stomach and back. Thus far, it had been a positively first class bathing experience. And then. AND THEN. Oh. Dear, God. MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE "MY FUCKING FLAPS!!!!" For a moment, I wasn't entirely sure what had happened. Had I repeated the never to be forgotten error when I managed to apply hair removal cream which was strictly not for front bottoms to my front bottom? Had a stray spark inadvertently set light to my pubic thatch? BECAUSE IT FUCKING FELT LIKE IT Yes, Original Source, your innocuous looking green bottle of so called shower gel, it turns out, is an absolute fucking liability. MY FLAPS WERE ON FUCKING FIRE. I had a quick look at the ingredients list to see if it contained gasoline. It did not. There was a warning though. 'KEEP AWAY FROM EYES. Keep away from eyes? KEEP AWAY FROM EYES? Franky my eyes were the least of my problems right now. I frantically scrubbed my flaps, which by now felt as though they were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce. 7,929 tingling leaves' claimed the front of the bottle. Tingling? TINGLING? This wasn't tingling my minge. It was starting a fucking bush fire down there. (Pun entirely intended. You can thank me later.) Some twelve hours later, my front bottom has finally calmed down, though may well be suffering from as yet unconfirmed PTSD. My eyes have eventually stopped watering. And so, in the interests of public safety, I thought I would pen you this missive. May I suggest a rebranding of the front of your bottles of Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel? Something along the lines of the following: 7,927 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy If nothing else, it will certainly stand out on the shelf Anyways, thanks for brightening up my morning. And my front bottom, which has never been so lively Kisses, IKINTST xxx She's not the alone one to have had such an experience. Mary E Sparrow We have a bottle of this and I made the same mistake! And then to add fuel to the fire, shaved my delicate area! My husband and our son also made the mistake of applying it to their bobby danglers and let's just say their golden balls shot back up inside their bodies and didn't come out again for days!!! So we feel your pain and reading this I cried laughing, partly in mirth and partly discomfort at the memory Wendy Tinsley I'm assuming its a similar sensation to when your dick of a Husband replaces the andrex bum wipes with flash lemon fresh wipes... Was like my minnie has been dipped Fiona Neale I used this on my little boy when he was tiny, didn't think about the effects. As soon as I had scrubbed him clean he announced that his winky had pins and needles'. He sat for an hour with a cold flannel on him and still likes to remind me of his trauma Of couse there must be someone like it Kirren Gumbo Summers I find it quite refreshing, V especially if used to clean your ring, it's like having a midget that's eaten extra strong mints, blow on your rusty bullet hole all day- most welcome in the midst of summer Woman’s hilarious ‘flaps on fire’ rant goes viral after using Original Source mint shower gel
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Crime, Grandma, and Head: 'Predator mode' scares off burglars HARRY PEARL Last updated 05:00 0305/2013 r. Like 步Tweet 51 g Oshare! 66 BRUCE MERCER/Fairfax NZ CHASED BURGLARS: Aiya Van Kooten wasnt about to let burglars escape when they entered her home cleolinda: pinstripebindi: gothamcityballet: deafmuslimpunx: exquisitedialectics: takealookatyourlife: Aiya Van Kooten everyone When Aiya Van Kooten stood face-to-face with a burglar in her bedroom, her left eye twitched, then she went into “predator mode”. “I screamed at him… jumped off my chair, leaped over my bed and sprinted after him down the stairs,” she said. http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/8626910/Predator-mode-scares-off-burglars This is the best story of my life “Although she was the only one home, Van Kooten said she had no regard for her safety - instead, she said she was just overwhelmed with “rage“….. ummmmm Hero!!!  Haha, badass Muslim woman. Love it!!! This lady is so awesome. She lives with her grandma and was studying and had a towel on her head and no shoes but she chased them out of her garden, kicked one up the arse as he climbed a fence, they dropped a camera and laptop, she flagged down a passing driver to help her continue the pursuit, and it turned out he was ex-military, and they finally caught one of them in a park and pinned him as the police arrived. Now she’s going to visit the burglar in prison for the next few months to help with his rehabilitation. So in summary: This lady doesn’t just defend her home and loved ones, she will hunt you down, team up with other skilled individuals, get you put away, and then teach you the consequences of your actions until you’re a valuable member of society once more. Seriously she’s a frigging superhero. but tell me again about how muslim women who cover can’t possibly be strong or empowered. I can’t remember if I’ve reblogged this before and I don’t really care.
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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org Clifford the Big Red Dog

Clifford the Big Red Dog

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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow lokanemandi: stormcloak Clifford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum, None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side. Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good. The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more. The credits roll. Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold. He approaches the two. His hair wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two. short and somewhat curly. He "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident," "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Ignoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually." He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. "You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative" more Fun on likealaugh.org Clifford the Big Red Dog

Clifford the Big Red Dog

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Anna, Apparently, and Birthday: Swedish Christmas Goat Burned Down for 27th Time a EXPAND empress-delilah: empress-delilah: dornishjedi: wannabanauthor: kablob17: cindehella: lord-kitschener: arealliveghost: stillvisions: maybenotboring: and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year” They tried fireproofing. And armed guards. And fences, and cameras… Sadly the wikipedia page has been cut down by super srs folks to remove all the awesome Keystone cops tales of the goat’s history (emphasis added by me) 1966 Stig Gavlén came up with the idea of a giant goat made out of straw. But it turned out that Gavlén organisation did not have enough funding for the goat. Then Harry Ström, who at that time was the chairman of the Södra Kungsgatan Ideella Förening (a non-profit society), decided to pay the whole cost for the goat out of his own pocket. The goat stood until midnight of New Year’s Eve, when it went up in flames. The perpetrator, who was from Hofors,Gästrikland, was found and convicted of vandalism. The first goat was insured and Ström got all his money back. 1967 Nothing happened. 1968 The goat survived. A fence was built around the goat. Previously it was popular for children to play hide-and-seek inside and around the goat. There was also a rumor that one night a couple had sex inside the goat. In subsequent years the inside of the goat was protected by a chicken-wire net. 1969 The goat was burnt down on New Year’s Eve. 1970 The goat was burnt down only six hours after it was assembled. Two very drunk teenagers were connected with the crime. With help from several financial contributors the goat was reassembled out of lake reed. 1971 The Southern Merchants got tired of their goats being burned and stopped building the goat. The Natural Science Club (Naturvetenskapliga Föreningen:NF) from the School of Vasa (Vasaskolan) took over.  1972 The goat collapsed because of sabotage. 1973 N/A 1974 Burnt. 1975 N/A 1976 Hit by a car. 1977 N/A 1978 Again, the goat was kicked to pieces. 1979 The goat was burnt even before it was erected. A new one was built and fireproofed. It was destroyed and broken into pieces. 1980 Burnt down on Christmas Eve. 1981 Nothing happened. 1982 Burnt down on Lucia (13 December). 1983 The legs were destroyed. 1984 Burnt down on 12 December, the night before Lucia. 1985 The 12.5 metre (41 ft) tall goat of the Natural Science Club was featured in the Guinness Book of Records for the first time. Even though the goat was enclosed by a 2 metres (6.6 ft) high metal fence, guarded by Securitas and even soldiers from the Gävle I 14 Infantry Regiment, it was burnt down in January. 1986 The merchants of Gävle decided they were willing to build the goat once again. From 1986 on two goats were built, the Southern Merchants’ and the School of Vasa’s. The big goat burnt down the night before Christmas Eve. 1987 A heavily fireproofed goat was built. It got burnt down a week before Christmas.[21] 1988 Nothing happened to the goat, but gamblers were for the first time able to gamble on the fate of the goat with English bookmakers. 1989 Again, the goat burnt down before it was assembled. Financial contributions from the public were raised to rebuild a goat that was burnt down in January. In March 1990 another goat was built, this time for the shooting of a Swedish motion picture called Black Jack. 1990 Nothing happened. The goat was guarded by many volunteers. 1991 The goat was joined by an advertising sled, that turned out to be illegally built. On the morning of Christmas Eve the goat was burnt down. It was later rebuilt to be taken to Stockholm as a part of a protest campaign against the closing of the I 14 Infantry Regiment. 1992 The goat was burnt down eight days after it was built. The Natural Science Club’s goat burnt down the same night. The Southern Merchants’ goat was rebuilt, but burned down on 20 December. The perpetrator of the three attacks was caught and sent to jail. The Goat Committee was founded in 1992. 1993 Once more the goat was featured in the Guinness Book of Records, the School of Vasa’s goat measured 14.9 metres (49 ft). The goat was guarded by taxis and the Swedish Home Guard. Nothing happened. 1994 Nothing happened. The goat followed the Swedish national hockey team to Italy for the World Championship in hockey. 1995 A Norwegian was arrested for attempting to burn down the goat. Burnt down on the morning of Christmas Day. Rebuilt to be standing before the 550th anniversary of Gävle county. 1996 The first time the goat was guarded by webcams, nothing happened. 1997 Damaged by fireworks. The Natural Science Club’s goat was attacked too, but survived with minor damage. 1998 Burnt down on 11 December, even though there was a major blizzard. Was rebuilt. 1999 Burnt down only a couple of hours after it was erected. Rebuilt again before Lucia. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burnt down as well. 2000 Burnt down a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. The Natural Science Club’s goat got tossed in the Gävle river. 2001 Goat set on fire on 23 December by Lawrence Jones, a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio, who spent 18 days in jail and was subsequently convicted and ordered to pay 100,000 Swedish kronor in damages. The court confiscated Jones’s cigarette lighter with the argument that he clearly was not able to handle it. Jones stated in court that he was no “goat burner”, and believed that he was taking part in a completely legal goat-burning tradition. After Jones was released from jail he went straight back to the US without paying his fine. As of 2006 it was still unpaid. The Natural Science Club’s goat was also burnt down. 2002 A 22 year old from Stockholm tried to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire, but failed, the goat receiving only minor damage. On Lucia the goat was guarded by Swedish radio and TV personality Gert Fylking. 2003 Burnt down on 12 December. 2004 Burnt 21 December, only three days before Christmas Eve. The fire brigade quickly arrived on the scene, but the goat could not be saved. No new goat was built. 2005 Burnt by unknown vandals reportedly dressed as Santa and the gingerbread man, by shooting a flaming arrow at the goat at 21:00 on 3 December. Reconstructed on 5 December. The hunt for the arsonist responsible for the goat-burning in 2005 was featured on the weekly Swedish live broadcast TV3’s “Most Wanted“ (”Efterlyst”) on 8 December. 2006 On the night of 15 December at 03:00, someone tried to set fire to the goat by dousing the right front leg in petrol (gasoline). The red ribbon on that leg was slightly burned and fell off. The lower part of the right leg was scorched, but the rest of the goat failed to light. The leg was repaired that morning. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burned at about 00:40 on 20 December; the vandals were not seen and got away. On the night of 25 December, a drunken man managed to climb up on the goat. Before the police arrived on the scene the man climbed down and disappeared. He did not try to set fire to the goat. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived New Year’s Eve and was taken down on 2 January. It is now stored in a secret location. 2007 The Natural Science Club’s goat was toppled on 13 December and was burned on the night of 24 December. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived. 2008 10,000 people turned out for the inauguration of one of the goats. No back-up goat was built to replace the main goat should the worst happen, nor was the goat treated with flame repellent (Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier). On 16 December the Natural Science Club’s Goat was vandalised and later removed. On 26 December there was an attempt to burn down the Southern Merchants’ Goat but patriotic passers-by managed to extinguish the fire. The following day the goat finally succumbed to the flames ignited by an unknown assailant at 03:50 CET. 2009 A person attempted to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire the night of 7 December. An unsuccessful attempt was made to throw the Natural Science Club’s goat into the river the weekend of 11 December. The culprit then tried, again without success, to set the goat on fire. Someone stole the Natural Science Club’s goat utilizing a truck the night of 14 December.[36] On the night of 23 December before 04:00 the South Merchant goat was set on fire and was burned to the frame, even though it had a thick layer of snow on its back.[37] The goat had two online webcams which were put out of service by aDoS attack, instigated by computer hackers just before the burning.[38] 2010 On the night of 2 December, arsonists made an unsuccessful attempt to burn the Natural Science Club’s goat.[39] On 17 December, a Swedish news site reported that one of the guards tasked with protecting the Southern Merchants’ goat had been offered payment to leave his post so that the goat could be stolen via helicopter and transported to Stockholm. Both goats survived and were dismantled and returned to storage in early January 2011. 2011 The inauguration of the goat took place on 27 November. The fire-fighters of Gävle sprayed the goat with water to create a coating of ice in the hope of protecting it from arson. The goat was burnt down in the early morning of 2 December. 2012 The inauguration of the goat took place on 2 December. It was burnt just ten days later in the hours before midnight of 12 December, one day before Lucia. 2013 As in 2006 and 2007, the straw used to build the goat has been soaked in anti-flammable liquid to prevent it from burning in the event of an arson attack. The inauguration ceremony took place on 1 December. But despite the anti-flammable liquids the goat was burnt down on the early morning of December 21. Any history of plots involving a DDoS attack on the security cameras, a plot to steal it with a helicopter and flaming arrows shot by people dressed as Santa and the Gingerbread man is just plain hilarious in my book. I’m laughing so much about this goat. obviously if you build something big enough people are going to have sex in it and burn it down. obviously what the fuck is going on in sweden how will the saga continue this year 2015: The goat was burned. I lost it at the last comment. Reblog for the season. the time of the goat is upon us! 2016 update: it’s the 50th anniversary so, naturally, it needs a birthday party. Streamed, apparently w a fucking english commentator for all the world to enjoy. It’s gonna be cringeworthy for sure. Also, it’s wearing a bow tie.  which probably won’t dissuade aspiring goat murderers any more than its cutesy tweets have, but can’t fault them for trying.  lmao ok it lasted a couple of hours.
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