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Cute, Dude, and Google: Verizon LTE 1:12 AM @ 7058% omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts navonneedsahug Follow zzdigital What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like "Dude, you haven't gone outside in a while." "Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn." "Are you still up?" "Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix." "Dude, I'm seriously craving something right now." "Like what?" "I dunno. Pizza rolls?" adriofthedead "Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?" "Um, it's called 'being polite...?" paulichu "I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I'm allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit." samarajournal "Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something?" espeoradar Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?" "..Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken." "Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason." stealing-your-wife "Have you ever noticed how cute bat:s are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man." nickthepigeon "I want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic" cipollakate "What's with your thing about necks lately?" "MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME" nightrhain "I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer." samwise-the-true-hero This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins 935,331 notesD Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching Vampire?
Advice, Bilbo, and Books: <p><a href="http://lilprince.tumblr.com/post/109345651525">lilprince</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://ekjohnston.tumblr.com/post/109262915267/cogito-ergo-dumb-sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b">ekjohnston</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://cogito-ergo-dumb.tumblr.com/post/107458727422/sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b-iridescentoracle">cogito-ergo-dumb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b.tumblr.com/post/107004606109/iridescentoracle-animate-mush-malibujojo">sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://iridescentoracle.tumblr.com/post/105513973543">iridescentoracle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://animate-mush.tumblr.com/post/105364265135/malibujojo-pippin4242-lulasseth">animate-mush</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://malibujojo.tumblr.com/post/105362854318/pippin4242-lulasseth">malibujojo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://pippin4242.tumblr.com/post/105353786205/lulasseth-imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants">pippin4242</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lulasseth.tumblr.com/post/77990057415/imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants">lulasseth</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants.tumblr.com/post/74805488473/hash-tag-whatever-merry-confused-awe">imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://hash-tag-whatever.tumblr.com/post/39509385253/merry-confused-awe-frodo-confused-awe">hash-tag-whatever</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Merry: confused awe</p> <p>Frodo: confused awe</p> <p>Sam: confused awe</p> <p>Pippin: finally i’m getting the respect i deserve from these peasants </p> </blockquote> <p>so accurate i am choking on my carrot. this is making me giggle harder than it should. I love Pippin so much.</p> </blockquote> <p>I don’t think there will come time when I’m not reblogging this. Sorry guys. </p> </blockquote> <p>no no no you guys don’t understand, Pippin <i>is</i> someone really important in the Shire! The books don’t talk about it a lot, and the movies won’t touch that stuff with a bargepole, but Pippin will be inheriting land rights to about a quarter of the Shire. He’s second in line to becoming military leader of <i>all Hobbits</i>. His dad is currently in charge of that stuff, but he’s completely aware of it, and educated for it, and that’s why he’s such an over privileged little shit in the books.</p> </blockquote> <p>I thought it was a shame the movies didn’t talk about class differences in the Shire. Also puts M&amp;P stealing food in an uglier light.</p> </blockquote> <p>To be fair, at the time of the Party, Pippin would have been 12, which puts it back into a more acceptable light.  And they’re stealing food <i>from Bilbo</i>, a wealthy and eccentric family member, which again makes things a bit different.</p> <p>But yes, when they call Pippin <i>Ernil i Perrianath -</i> Prince of the Halflings - they are actually completely spot on.</p> <p>And when Pippin tells Bergil “my father farms the land around Tuckborough” he’s deliberately downplaying his class so that he can greet the boy as an equal rather than a superior.  It’s Pippin’s most adult moment in the series.  Bergil is engaging in a status contest which Pippin can <i>totally win - </i>but instead chooses not to compete.  Pippin is a gilded and spoiled lordling in the Shire, but he becomes a Man of Gondor.</p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah, to add a bit of unnecessary trivia/level of preciseness, Frodo is the oldest of the four; he was born in 2968, was (obviously) 33 at the time of the Party, and so he’s 51 here. Sam’s second-oldest; born in 2980, he was 21 when Bilbo left and is 39 at this point. Merry’s two years younger than Sam, making him 18 or 19 in 3001, when the Party took place, and Pippin was born in 2990, so he was actually 10 or 11 during the Party, and during this scene they’re ~37 and ~29, respectively.</p> <p>So yeah, Pippin’s the youngest by a <i>lot</i>. Plus, taking hobbit aging into account, he really is still in the equivalent of his teens; remember the Party was half to celebrate Frodo’s coming-of-age at <i>33</i>, and Pippin’s around twenty years <i>younger than Frodo</i>. </p> </blockquote> <p>This fucked me up. I didn’t read the books and in the movie it was shown like Frodo took off with the ring like 2 days after Bilbo’s gone away, but it was 17 years after that. OMFG.</p> </blockquote> <p>i’m not sure if it’s ever been explicitly stated but the movie and book follow different timelines</p> <p>in the books, bilbo leaves the shire 60 years after his first adventure, giving frodo the ring. seventeen years pass before frodo sets out on his quest</p> <p>in the movies, seventeen years cannot have passed while gandalf goes all nancy drew in denethor’s basement - for one, pippin is obviously not 10 in the party scene - but the story does allow us some wiggle room - maybe a few months, even a year or two? (I DUNNO DID JACKSON EVER SPECIFY GIMMIE NUMBERS)</p> <p>this also accouts for a lot of the confusion re. aragorns age following thranduils advice to legolas at the end of BOFA - in the books, aragorn is about ten during the events of the hobbit, but in the contracted movie timeline, he tells eowyn he’s eighty seven, putting him somewhere around 27+ when legolas goes off to find him</p> <p>also i think i heard some messing around was done with thorins age? i dunno BASICALLY THE MOVIE TIMELINE IS CONTRACTED AND FUDGED AROUND WITH AS MUCH AS THE MOVIE MAPS dont even get me started on those</p> <p>BUT BACK TO PIPPIN</p> <p>so pippin does indeed become the thain, merry also become the head of <i>his</i> ginormous family - the master of buckland, in fact</p> <p>but you know whats best of all</p> <p><i>SAM BECOMES MAYOR OF THE SHIRE</i></p> <p><i>SAMWISE GAMGEE BECOMES ELECTED MAYOR OF THE SHIRE SEVEN TIMES</i></p> <p>k so to understand the importance of this you gotta remember that sam is poor</p> <p>he comes from a poor family - so poor, in fact, that i’m fairly certain that sam was the only one of them who could <i>read - </i>and only because bilbo taught him. in the very first scene of FOTR, the Gaffer (sam’s dad) says</p> <p><i>“But my lad Sam will know more about [Bilbo’s treasure]. He’s in and out of Bag End. Crazy about stories of the old days he is, and he listens to all Mr.Bilbo’s tales. Mr. Bilbo has learned him his letters - meaning no harm, mark you,and I hope no harm will come of it.</i></p> <p><i>“Elves and Dragons’ I says to him. ‘Cabbages and potatoes are better for me and you. Don’t go getting mixed up in the business of your betters, or you’ll land in trouble too big for you,”I says to him. And I might say it to others,” he added with a look at the stranger and the miller.”</i></p> <p>firstly im super fascinated by class divides in the shire - and there is a huge gap between the workers and the landed gentry- but not the bitter feud between proletariat and bourgeoisie of the industrial england that tolkien so despised. the poor of the shire are the poor of an idealised rustic england. there are no slums in the shire, and i imagine that the homeless vagrants (if they exist) are more akin to Wordsworth’s <a href="http://www.bartleby.com/145/ww139.html">Old Cumberland Beggar</a> IM SO SORRY TO BRING WORDSWORTH INTO THIS, I REALLY AM but yeah does anyone wanna talk pre industrial revolution englands social structures and how they relates to the shire cause im pretty sure thats what tolkiens aiming for here</p> <p>SORRY im off topic im talking about how hella rad it is that sam becomes mayor of the shire and pippin becomes the thain and merry becomes master of buckland and between the three of them they lead the shire into a golden age of prosperity and happiness and good external relations with gondor and arnor and rohan</p> <p>ALSO SAMS DAUGHTER AND PIPPINS SON GET MARRIED HA HA IM GONNA GO HIDE FOR A WHILE ITS TOO CUTE</p> </blockquote> <p>Basically the Shire operates Perfectly (with a few notable exceptions, like Ted Sandyman and the Sackville-Bagginses), <i>unless it is being meddled with</i>. So while Gandalf sets up the Rangers to protect the borders (not meddling), Saruman introduces trade the Shire can’t support, imports Men and industry, and <i>unseats those in charge </i>(Will Whitfoot, the Mayor, is the only Hobbit who has been in the Lockholes longer than Lobelia, and during the Scouring, the first military thing Pippin does is go to Tuckborough with some Hobbiton lads and break the siege on the Great Smial so that the Tooks can help roust Sharky.</p> <p>So, Hobbits <i>have</i> rank, but they don’t care much about it. What you do is way more important, and social mobility isn’t unheard of. The only person who ever talks down to Sam is his own father. Pippin and Merry <i>recruit him on purpose, </i>and Rosie (whose father is a landowner, which the Gaffer is not), is not even a BIT reluctant to marry him <i>before he does anything heroic</i>, just because he’s a great person.</p> <p>HOBBITS, I TELL YOU. HOBBITS.</p> </blockquote> <p>I love the Tolkien side of tumblr. You are my people</p></blockquote>