🔥 Popular | Latest

Advice, Bad, and God: PSA: Post op? Wash your damn vagina. (self.MtF) submitted 11 hours ago by Ohgodimgross For the love of god this story is disgusting, but if you've had or are having the operation, then I'd suggest this advice Had the op about 5 years ago. So I sort of fell into a slop. I don't really get much action, so I don't really dilate, or end up with anything inside very often at all. At the time I was told to dilate, and douche. I didn't like the douching, and I heard multiple different things from others. "I just dilate then use a pad til the morning" "I just wipe off with tissue and let my body deal with the rest". For me, I just didn't wash inside me, because I didn't dilate, so nothing could really get gross in there, I thought. It turns out I'm wrong. I was having sex this evening, and at one point, I stopped because I felt something weird. So I put my fingers in there and the back of my vagina had a rough, not very nice texture. So I kind of scraped around a bit with my finger and I had a bit of orange stuff come out. Not much, and I'd had yellow stuff before. So I supposed it was smegma The texture remained so I kept using my fingers to work around More and more orange stuff. And finally I took out a weird chunk. A huge chunk. It was a cluster of pubic hair, and orange smegma. And more, and more. Like so much more just kept falling out. So I suppose over the last couple of years, while I've not been dilating, my vagina's slowly let all sorts of hair just slowly work its way up towards the top. And since it doesn't clean itself out, it just accumulates a bunch of dead, gross orange buildup around the hair. PSA: Dilate and douche. I'm never leaving it to get like this ever again cisdude: lanque-hates-terfs: mtfselfdrag: just like an ordinary vagina you guys!! lesbians, do your duty and eat out a trans woman’s neovagina today 🤢 Everyone needs to clean their vaginas, you asshole. Just as you need to clean every other area of your body. No, it isn’t anyone’s duty to eat ANYBODY out, doing sexual acts such as that is a choice for the partners performing it. The woman in this Reddit post made a bad mistake, but she learned a lesson and is advising others to not make the same mistake that she did. please for the love of god dont clean your vagina (the vaginal canal, the inside, in case you dont know what vagina means), it is self cleaning, washing or douching your vagina ruins the pH and vaginal flora, putting you at risk for yeast infections. the only thing you need to do is wash your vulva (the outside) with an appropriate product. neovaginas, though, NEED to be washed and douched, or else you get something like the reddit op described.
Save
Dad, Disney, and Life: nilesymon i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way. when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy. is that magic?? honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better My ankles never twist. I've always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. I pulled my shoe on and kept running I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. I knew a guy who never made an error when typing Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don't realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside. this is the cutest post i have ever read... Nooo I've actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky at? Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com Magic

Magic

Save
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Save
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Save
Doctor, Facts, and Fucking: So, someone posted this on Tumblr: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines And then the Internet responded: You are the worst person You can be a vegan and whine at people, thats hurting nobody but when you tell people to not take vaccines, you're endangering public health If YOU mixed mercury, aluminium phosphate, ammonium sulfate, formaldehyde and viruses and injected it into someone, you'd kill someone because you have no pharmacological experience. If someone in a lab mixed those together, they know how they work, they have medically assessed and peer reviewed evidence and strict guidelines to follow to create a safe and effective product. Why is it legal? Because they know what they're doing and know how to spell phosphate and "ammonium". Why don't YOU educate yourself instead of subscribing to the notion that all scientists are evil and want to poison you are your natural, vegan lifestyle. I say this as a fucking IMMUNOLOGIST, you are single handedly responsible for the skyrocketing resurgence of deaths caused by TB, measles and the worrying prospect of smallpox returning. Let's break this one down and give you some education Mercury is an element in the compound thiomersal which was part of many vaccines. It has been claimed with NO tangible evidence other than a multifaceted correlation that thiomersals cause autism. This has been investigated thoroughly and no causal link has been found. . . Aluminium phosphate is an aluminium salt which is used as an adjuvant in vaccines. An adjuvant is a compound which causes an immune response to be higher and stronger, so that the immune system comes into contact with the attenuated virus more, so that it can recognise the antigens of the virus and provide immunity. They are a necessary part of the vaccine if you want it to work well. Ammonium sulfate is used in the process of purifying the proteins in the synthesis of a vaccine. It is also found in bread and flour, so you'd better learn to enjoy rice if you want to avoid it. . Formaldehyde is used in the treatment and purification of before the vaccines is shipped, although some remains. In my personal and scientifically backed opinion, the war against vaccines and stops contamination. Most of this is removed disease is a hundred fold more important than the mum-led war against vaccines. Do you want your child to die a slow, painful, agonising death? If not, then shut the fuck up with your so called "facts" you got from Yahoo Answers and get your kid vaccinated. I am going to sound derogatory, but if you don't have formal education in at least biology, you have no role to talk about the way vaccines should be done. You have no idea of the actual function and mechanism in which they work, and you have is a vague knowledge that mereury used to make people mad, formaldehyde is ed in embalming and that ammonium sulfate and aluminium phosphate sound scary Vaccinate your kids if you want them to live. End of. If you don't then you clearly don't love your kids and would prefer to see them die of completely preventable diseases. This has been a rage filled, alcohol induced response from a scientist. APPLY COLD WATER TO BURNED AREA god i love when smart people tallk Reblogging for science! The best education comes from learning from someone who knows what they re talking about. And just to be perfectly clear: Vaccines. do. not. cause. autism. Tumblr demolishes an anti-vaxxer.
Save
Apparently, Bodies , and Books: :Doctor Sohna le vononr Quis non doberctjche egihey an anges tiabwngt artar Eucß nasmeen langen Sc u hurmit deutar figrasmanthian.und georaucl fvckthisreality: zacharielaughingalonewithsalad: cellarspider: twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck: purrsianstuck: During the Bubonic Plague, doctors wore these bird-like masks to avoid becoming sick. They would fill the beaks with spices and rose petals, so they wouldn’t have to smell the rotting bodies. A theory during the Bubonic Plague was that the plague was caused by evil spirits. To scare the spirits away, the masks were intentionally designed to be creepy. Mission fucking accomplished Okay so I love this but it doesn’t cover the half of why the design is awesome and actually borders on making sense. It wasn’t just that they didn’t want to smell the infected and dead, they thought it was crucial to protecting themselves. They had no way of knowing about what actually caused the plague, and so one of the other theories was that the smell of the infected all by itself was evil and could transmit the plague. So not only would they fill their masks with aromatic herbs and flowers, they would also burn fires in public areas, so that the smell of the smoke would “clear the air”. This all related to the miasma theory of contagion, which was one of the major theories out there until the 19th century. And it makes sense, in a way. Plague victims smelled awful, and there’s a general correlation between horrible septic smells and getting horribly sick if you’re around what causes them for too long. You can see now that we’ve got two different theories as to what caused the plague that were worked into the design. That’s because the whole thing was an attempt by the doctors to cover as many bases as they could think of, and we’re still not done. The glass eyepieces. They were either darkened or red, not something you generally want to have to contend with when examining patients. But the plague might be spread by eye contact via the evil eye, so best to ward that off too. The illustration shows a doctor holding a stick. This was an examination tool, that helped the doctors keep some distance between themselves and the infected. They already had gloves on, but the extra level of separation was apparently deemed necessary. You could even take a pulse with it. Or keep people the fuck away from you, which was apparently a documented use. Finally, the robe. It’s not just to look fancy, the cloth was waxed, as were all of the rest of their clothes. What’s one of the properties of wax? Water-based fluids aren’t absorbed by it. This was the closest you could get to a sterile, fully protecting garment back then. Because at least one person along the line was smart enough to think “Gee, I’d really rather not have the stuff coming out of those weeping sores anywhere on my person”. So between all of these there’s a real sense that a lot of real thought was put into making sure the doctors were protected, even if they couldn’t exactly be sure from what. They worked with what information they had. And frankly, it’s a great design given what was available! You limit exposure to aspirated liquids, limit exposure to contaminated liquids already present, you limit contact with the infected. You also don’t give fleas any really good place to hop onto. That’s actually useful. Beyond that, there were contracts the doctors would sign before they even got near a patient. They were to be under quarantine themselves, they wouldn’t treat patients without a custodian monitoring them and helping when something had to be physically contacted, and they would not treat non-plague patients for the duration. There was an actual system in place by the time the plague doctors really became a thing to make sure they didn’t infect anyone either. These guys were the product of the scientific process at work, and the scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols! reblogging for the sweet history lesson Reblogging because of the History lesson and because the masks, the masks are cool
Save
Candy, Elf, and Facebook: oo0 Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Search Starbucks 3 hrs . Hey Starbucks, as the unicorn frappuccino was so popular, thought I'd pitch a few suggestions for fraps based on other mythical creatures: Dragon frappuccino: Made with dragonfruit, cinnamon, and fiery hot chiles. A shameless ploy to acquire gold. Werewolf frappuccino: Seems like a normal chocolate frap (werewolves love chocolate) but the caffeine doesn't kick in until the next full moon. And boy howdy, does it kick in. Mermaid frappuccino: Extra foam and sea salt caramel drizzle. Comes with a free Danish in honor of Hans Christian Anderson. Centaur: Has an oatmeal raisin cookie crumble crust. Oats for the horse and raisins for the wine-lovina human Whinned cream is Write a comment.. Post o Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Q Searclh Fairy frappuccino: A delightful delicate flavor of honeysuckle and lavender, it has the unfortunate effect of making you fall in love with the next live creature that you see. Pixie frappuccino: MIXED WITH TGE POWDER OF WITH 15 PIXIE STICKS Elf frappuccino: Made with the most important food groups- candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. Keebler cookie crumbles Hobbit frappuccino: Only served in size tall. Get one for breakfast and get a second one free! Ogre frappuccino: Looks green and putrid on the outside, but has layers of different flavors that will Smash your Mouth Zombie frappuccino: like a normal frap, but with SEVERAL extra shots of espresso Write a comment... Post ooo Verizon LTE 12:49 PM Q Searclh Wizard frappuccino: Butterbeer Witch frappuccino: You'd think it would be the same as the wizard frap, but it has eye of newt and toe of frog #everydaysexism Yeti frappuccino: Tastes like a lemon snow cone, with Himalayan pink salt Alien frappuccino: They actually do have this in the Starbucks at one government building in New Mexico, but it's on the secret menu Ghost frappuccino: Zero calories. Probably just blended ice. Poltergeist frappuccino: Hurls itself against the wall after you pay for it Vampire frappuccino: Blood. It's just blood. 2 Shares Write a comment... Э| Post ooo VerizonLTE 12:49 PM Search egan Anne Fraedric Or most of these monstrosities 1 HOUR AGO LIKE REPLY 2 Write a reply.. Starbucks Hi, Megan. Thanks for the awesome suggestions! They raise some interesting food safety and supply chain concerns, but hey, maybe it'll just be a fun challenge for our product development teams who are used to more traditional sourcing methods. ;) 1 HOUR AGO LIKED 13 REPLY Write a comment... Post jackskellington84: sophettestuff: sanjha-a-kitani: schmergo: The official Starbucks facebook account reviewed my pitches for new Frappuccinos based on mythical creatures to follow the unicorn one I love how it starts out with the dragon one which could theoretically be done and then just devolves into “it’s just blood”. I know right jsjsjsj I love this too much

jackskellington84: sophettestuff: sanjha-a-kitani: schmergo: The official Starbucks facebook account reviewed my pitches for new Frappucci...

Save
Anna, Bad, and Community: All Games> Simulation Games >Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Dream Daddy: A Dad Community Hub Dating Simulator C0 a Dad Dating Simulato Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is a game where you play as a Dad and your goal is to meet and romance other hot Dads. Are you ready? Hi ready, I'm Dad User reviews: OVERALL: No user reviews Release Date: Jul 13, 2017 Popular user-defined tags for this product Indie Casual+ ABOUT THIS GAME Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is a game where you play as a Dad and your goal is to meet and romance other hot Dads. You and your daughter have just moved into the sleepy seaside town of Maple Bay only to discover that everyone in your neighborhood is a single, dateable Dad! Will you go out with Teacher Dad? Goth Dad? Bad Dad? Or any of the other cool Dads in this game? With minigames, sidequests, and a variety of paths and endings, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is this year's most anticipated Dad-based game Features 7 dateable Dads -Dad character creator - Create your Dadsona! Multiple endings per-Dad Voiced by the Game Grumps and friends Written by Vernon Shaw and Leighton Gray Artwork and pinups by Shanen Pae, J.N. Wiedle, Anna Pan, Tyson Hesse, Ellen Allsop, Evan Palmer, Ego Rodriguez, and many more! Original score by Jesse Cale . Dad-themed mini and micro games throughout each date path -So many Dad puns. Like, to the point where it made us all uncomfortable Secretssssssss. jara257: charadreemurr: grumpsaesthetics: zeldaoflegend: who’s ready to play a gay dad dating sim voiced by the game grumps oh boy… Of all the things i expected to drop when i heard the game grumps made a game, gay dad dating simulator was perhaps lower on the list but im into it well i know which dad i’d pick first run

jara257: charadreemurr: grumpsaesthetics: zeldaoflegend: who’s ready to play a gay dad dating sim voiced by the game grumps oh boy… Of a...

Save