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Ass, Crying, and Dumbledore: a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay malfoycat neville: "messes up his potion gordon ramsay: "holds neville between two slices of bread what are you neville: an idiot sandwich no no no Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior Neville: "messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly GR: What's going on? Neville: "explains how he messed up* GR: Oh gosh okay.. we can fix this, don't cry, see, it's fine now? Just be more careful when you're adding the Newt's eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears. Neville: "giggles wetly, wiping eyes mira-of sassgard Yes, he only screams when he's dealing with people that claim to know what they're doing and clearly dont, when he's teaching he's very kind and patient because they're still learning He'd probably do the bread thing to Malfoy nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he's still a kid It'd be the teachers fucking up that he'd have trouble with Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozarl Slughom: It was a stressfu- Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?! Ramsay: So you're going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme? Dumbledore: It's for the greater good, professor Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor's face What are you? Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich? Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are. Okay, nowl can reblog it My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn't passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon It's clear Gordon's leg is in pain. He's been badly bumed without warning. But he doesn't scream. He doesn't yell, not even in pain, and he doesn't go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn't my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse) I didn't know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they're feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because child that person is a Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids. im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautifu ohmytheon Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he'll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn't have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would've hexed his ass to kingdom come. xtaticpearl Chef Ramsay would have become the kids' favourite teacher and you can't take that away from me Imagine him dealing with Umbridge Hogwarts Potions Professor Gordon Ramsay
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