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Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
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Confused, Target, and Tumblr: tyleroakley: shepherdpomshi4: wallisgloom: squided: chex-quest: tyleroakley: #2006vs2016: some things never change лагер Ласло hallobeanies, лагер Ласло последния епизод, лагер Ласло обичат болни, лагер Ласло meatman, епизоди лагер Ласло, лагер Ласло забавни моменти, лагер Ласло хот-дог епизод, лагер Ласло Свети Валентин, лагер Ласло край, лагер Ласло, лагер Ласло боб и кренвирши, лагер Ласло пълни епизоди, лагер Ласло където е Ласло, лагер Ласло чужденец епизод, лагер Ласло сте там Смитс, лагер балсам Ласло въздух, лагер Ласло AMV, лагер Ласло животни, лагер Ласло арабика,  лагер Ласло работа и тор, лагер Ласло невероятно състезание, лагер отваряне Ласло аниме, лагер Ласло зърна са от Марс, лагер Ласло боулинг за динозаври, лагер Ласло е Едуард, лагер Ласло оригване, лагер Ласло бебе боб, лагер Ласло броня, лагер Ласло боб в Страната на играчките, лагер Ласло бокса Едуард, лагер Ласло burpless, лагер Ласло мида, лагер Ласло Колед I thought translating it would clear things up but I’m more confused than ever before.   *touches soil*something awful happened here Wtf is going on in this post some things never change

tyleroakley: shepherdpomshi4: wallisgloom: squided: chex-quest: tyleroakley: #2006vs2016: some things never change лагер Ласло hallobea...

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Bones, Dumbledore, and Fucking: yeh'll need a lot more study betore yeil gerter thatteve Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ( says pewter on yer list), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: pansiparknson fleamontpotter The boy has never had anything nice and the second he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the bottom now we here I love him so much Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that on his desk I think he would have said fuck it to his promise to dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spellbooks, to stop himsell buying a handsome set of solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY. I'm surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year, he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just fill his arm up with gold instead of bones. NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL HE'S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD 25,088 notes Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold
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Children, Friends, and Love: 3dspacejesus asked: [Prompt]: A fantasy world is so used to human children arriving to go on quests and learn moral lessons that they've set up a whole bureaucracy to deal with it. "Name? Trudy C- "Is that a nickname?I need vour full name." ..Gertrude Chau." "Favorite mythical creature? "Unicorns. ".do vou have a second favorite?" Mermaids?" "l can get you mermaids. What were you doing before you - how did you say you got here?" " looked under my bed for monsters and fell. Scribble scribble. "Before that, what were you doing?" We just moved and -" "Hang on - Papers rustle. "Which of the following best describes your attitude excitement about your new opportunities, apprehension about your new school or neighborhood, resentment at loss of old friends and familiar settings, or other? "what does resentment mean? "It means you're mad that they were taken away." "That one." "Okay And, fingerprints here in case you take longer on your quest than you're supposed to and we need to do a locator spell; and would you like a dagger, magic wand, animal companion, or bow and arrows?" "I only get one?" "You can combine the animal companion with another option if you fill out form 37-J- "Tll just take the magic wand. "There's a bin of them by the door, take one and then recite this fairy summoning chant to call a guide fairy and be led to your destination." Stamp check, peeling of carbon paper. "This is your copy. Next!" Tags: I love it, make it happen The Department of Fantasy Quests for Human Children

The Department of Fantasy Quests for Human Children

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