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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. srsfunny:The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

srsfunny:The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

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Children, Dude, and Dumb: webelieveinyoukris Being gay is natural? Okay You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn't just about religion or t simple common sense. Bei ing gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn't even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow "thing to have children. That's a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it's not a real penis or vagina, then it's fucking false and you're just opinionated by dumb facts. I'm done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye yeinns Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend queercakes just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn't we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own govenment or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing won't their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn't it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn't that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, fioating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don't fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a arge group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so wouldn't they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people's, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon fieldbears Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: i too have these questions hellisbucky Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn fieldbears Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I'm coming with you singoallala random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon* jezunya I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in fioating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island) homieomorphism Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hetero Nation attacked Source:webelieveinyoukris #just. …like DUDE #also i love how absokuteky zero of this post's replies actually explain to op hiw they were dumb #instead they built the premise of a tv show that frankly needs to be funded asap 435,477 notes Sometimes a post is so freaking dumb that the only response is ridiculousness
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Bones, Dogs, and Fucking: its tunny how science iction unverses s0 oten treat humans as a boring defaut everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a scit universe where we're actualy considered one of the mare hideous and territying species How do we know our saiva and skin ois wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other races? What if we strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka the screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and ives in fear of us rare animat races who can move so quicly and chew shit up with our Like that old story theyre made of meat onty HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0 More senously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even then it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you, we just need to ousast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don t ge e Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from vitually any injury that's not atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt necessarily a career-ending injury for a human We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take others months or years to heal The resuits aren't pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other suvival-onented trats-bu ook at our We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves- and survive Thanks to our extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic n essence, wed be Space Orcs I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using ittle analouge traps And by god we will eat anything - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the our skin e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth to prevent us trom splatering against the ground Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet e Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph and break your neck its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of your eye until you just de ok cov Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
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Ass, Clothes, and England: The Ionian Chiton The Dorian Chiton. bramblepatch: countlessscreamingargonauts: scarimor: bmwiid: woodsmokeandwords: uidu-regani: tardygrading: spazzbot: ardatli: annathecrow: ardatli: childrentalking: itwashotwestayedinthewater: fabledquill: killerchickadee: intheheatherbright: intheheatherbright: Costume. Chitons. Marjorie C. H. B.Quennell, Everyday Things in Archaic Greece (London: B. T. Batsford, 1931). Wait, wait…. Is that seriously it? How their clothes go? that genuinely is it yeah hey whats up bout to put some fucking giant sheets on my body lets bring back sheetwares When you’re carding, spinning and weaving everything from scratch, using the big squares exactly as they come off the loom must seem like a fucking brilliant idea. 90% (or more) of pre-14th century clothing is made purely on squares (and sometimes triangles cut from squares).  How did they get the fabric so fine it draped like that? Was that something medieval europe forgot? Or do I just have a completely misguided image of historical clothing? Medieval Europe also had incredibly fine weaves, though the ancient world tended to have them beat. Linen was found in Egypt woven with a fineness that we’re still trying to replicate, and there was a kind of cotton woven in India called ‘woven wind’ that was supposedly still translucent at eight layers, and wool shawls so fine that the entire thing could be drawn through a wedding ring.  The way they could get away with pinking and slashing doublets in the 16th century was partially because the fabrics were so tightly woven that you could simply cut a line on the bias and nothing would fray.  Modern fabric machining sucks ass in terms of giving us any kind of quality like the kind human beings produced prior to the Industrial Revolution.  *yells about textile history* Reblogging because it’s fascinating. The Celts made very fine clothing as well. They invented plaid after all, and the same weaves that have been found at the La Tene/Halstatt salt mines in Austria were also found as far away as western China in the tombs of the Tarim mummies. Can we talk about 18th century and regency era muslin as well because that shit is gorgeous. It’s so fine it’s more transparent than silk chiffon and oh the tiny hems you can make with it!! I have an 18th century neckerchief and the hem is about 2mm wide. Not kidding, 2mm!!! Because it didn’t fray like our stuff does now. All we can produce nowadays is a rough, scratchy, bullshit excuse for muslin and it’s horrid. I love this because we’ve gotten so blind to what makes ‘good’ fabric now - machine lace? horrible scratchy shit mostly made from poly. Actual lace is handmade, lasts for fucking EVER and looks stunning.  Regency gowns fucking rocked in terms of fabric quality - we use muslin as a ‘throw away’ before sewing the real fabric, back then it WAS a real fabric and it was so finely made you wouldn’t even think it was the same stuff.  Hand hemming is still the best way to finish off anything, but harder than hell because of the shitty weave of modern fabrics.  Satin? Silks?! Pah. Yes, fabric is cheaper, more affordable and varied than before, but it is an area where QUALITY was sacrificed for QUANTITY.  (I don’t want to seem like I’m shitting on how great we have it now for clothes and martials or anything, because YAY!! but also, I’d love to get my mits on a bolt of real Muslin)  archaeologists recently found some Bronze Age fabric woven on site and preserved in marsh in England. it’s fine to die for. they were exporting it and trading into Asia. I’m not into fashion, but I love reading about the history and evolution of it. My favorite textile history fact is that the ancient Romans loved really sheer, floaty silks, but at the time the fashion in China, where the silk was produced, was for heavy, intricate brocades. So the Romans would import the heavier fabrics, painstakingly unravel them, and use the silk thread to weave the fabric they liked.
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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour. P. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back order. P. Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P Aircraft handles funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed in cockpit. P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. s: Took hammer away from midget. CABAGE or DAMAGE

CABAGE or DAMAGE

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Bailey Jay, Club, and Funny: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

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Club, Funny, and Target: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

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Alive, Ass, and Bitch: Lil Juan @RichlonelyJuan Somebody put something in her drink, anyways, me and my brother bout to rape this bitch 29m thorsies: lonely-diamond-s: electriker: thunderandmischieftwobrothers: of-jotunheim-asgard-and-newyork: caligulasnightmare: naked-fame: sams-supernatural-dick: snail-monger: snail-monger: jollymermaid: crippledbypizza: thisshitfunny: prettypussyprincess: fuckthisblogshit: Why twitter whyyyyy ???? 😩😩😩😩 no chill the year just started stop dude they like fucking potentially killed her this is not funny at all im not even kidding when i say we need to do something if he wont call the police we need to, we need to fucking find out his number or where hes at etc and report this im not even kidding this is beyond fucked up and im actually so pissed off right now that this is a real thing happening right now this is absolutely not ok I’m reporting this to twitter, and if anyone knows how to look up someone on twitter to report them, please look into this! Ok, so I did a little research and here’s what I found.  He’s 17, and most likely lives in Maryland. Either Bowie (most), Laurel, or Largo. and I used his twitter friend and looked him up on fb to find a city (although who knows if his friend has anything to do with this so) laurel high is indeed in maryland lets get this viral guys You guys seemed to forgotten about the “brother”… ^ LOOK AT THE RT/FAVORITES ^ Not to mention his numerous supporters… (here’s a few) But I think the most horrifying part is this retweet made during all of this… Someone please tell me if this has been resolved and this dick muncher has been arrested?? it’s people like that who shouldn’t reproduce and make me want to have my torturous tendancies again. So many things I could do to an ass like that (( Sorry for reblogging this again and hijacking the thread but here’s some info on the missing girl.   Anyone who believes they may know Clarks’s present location or who has other information that might assist efforts to locate her is asked to call the police tip line at (919) 834-HELP. guys this HASN’T been solved yet. the guy “IH8UHOES” is still on twitter and boasting about his crime. PLEASE CALL THE NUMBER AND DO WHATEVER YOU CAN IN YOUR POWER TO BRING THIS TO JUSTICE. Im looking at his tweets from over the last week or two.He needs to be stopped,this is disgusting, and everyone is calling him a ufcking ‘Rape God’ hes so smug with himself.SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE,HE IS HORRIFIC.I CANT BELIEVE THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE HIM ALIVE. Thankfully she’s been found. Still, this guy has not been arrested yet. People on twitter are asking him to rape them, congratulating him for raping this poor girl, and he has been encouraging others to do the same. He needs to be stopped.
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