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Children, Period, and Run: İAL Phillip Timothy Yesterday at 03:22 Next Tuesday we will have an "active shooter" / intruder drill at our school and I will hunker down behind flimsy wooden cabinet doors with my students You see, we open the cabinets and hide behind the doors so that anyone peering into the classrooms will not see us, and maybe think it is an empty room. Maybe we will be unnoticed, which just means maybe he will go to another classroom In preparation, I will remind my students tomorrow that our hallway doors should always be locked, so IT an intruder shows up we can just pull the doors closed without fiddling with keys. I have assigned students whose job it is to check those doors every period to make sure we don't forget I wil try to keep the children quiet during our drill on Tuesday. It's hard. They're packed in tight behind those cabinet doors, and they talk and giggle. Because they're children. They look like young adults, but they're children I will try to keep them quiet, because we hope that this will give that illusion of an empty classroom.I will try to keep them quiet because even though I know it's a drill, they do not, and they need to treat each drill like the real thing. They must have the procedure driven in by repetition Inevitably some children will be sure that it is real, and they will be terrified Two years ago, one boy - a big hulking kid turning into a "tough guy" - broke down in tears when the administrator jiggled the doorknob to our room while we hid behind the cabinets. I will sit down and process feelings of fear and panic with at least a few students. How do we process the panic we put them through? Every time we run through these drills, we violate their trust - their trust in us and their trust in a safe, secure world. We violate their trust in the name of safety Two years ago, a PE teacher wasn't informed that the intruder drill was a drill. He panicked, and screamed at the kids to "Shut the fuck Up!" while they were laughing and joking Who could blame him? He was terrified Afterward, some of the children will talk a big game. How they would jump on a shooter, how they would climb out a window instead of staying in a classroom How they'd be a herd A few of them ask if l'd do anything to save them in the event of an active shooter. I can't answer, because although I want to reassure them I really don't know, and I don't know how to express all those complicated feelings A few will scoff and say, "Of course Mr B wouldn't do anything. He doesn't like us And I don't know what to say to that, either, other than to go back to my lesson plan. I strive to be honest with my students, and the honest answer is that l'd do all I can I hope - but the human body isn't much match for gunpowder and lead At home I will replay the drill. Did we get it accomplished quickly? Tightly? Efficiently? Are my children safe? Will they be safe? Can I keep them safe? (No.) How would I ever live with it if I lost one? What about seventeen of them? Each of these kids, awful and irritating though they can be, is a magical world in and of themself. Four years and one hundred sixty kids in, and they're still all different and wonderful and fascinating. Every day, if I am very very careful and very very patient and very very lucky,I get to unlock just a little more of one of those fantastic inner worlds. A chunk of lead, hurtling through the air, thrown by a little explosion triggered by one man's finger, can destroy that entire world. I still don't understand why I am expected to teach my children how to survive in a violent world, but my country isn't expected to make the world less violent None of these questions are academic. None of these questions are distant or political. They are meat and blood and gristle, and they are lives lived in fear for so long that my children don't know anything that isn't fear. So I really don't give a damn how important owning a gun is to you. awed-frog: The time for gun control is now.
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Ass, Bad, and Children: now you kno! In the original Peter Pan book, he killed the Lost Boys when they got too old nowyoukno.com maybe-this-time: supernaturalshadowhunter: adventuretimetimeline: fuckier0: tempestuous-sovereignity: alittleworldofimagination: forgetpolitics: mariavontraphouse: philliciaglee: nowyoukno: See More Daily Facts Here! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH Sorry….kind of isn’t captain hook and his crew suppose to be a lost boys who escaped and that’s why he’s trying to kill peter pan …what the actual fuck I NEVER TRUSTED PETER PAN nah everything in Peter Pan was fucked up.  Tinkerbell and her fairy buddies were having an orgy when they found baby Peter. Tinks also extremely jealous, tricking one of the Lost Boys into shooting Wendy in the fucking chest. Peter’s also crazy omnipotent. Like, he “make believes” he’s a doctor, and heals Wendy. When he’s hungry, he pretends to eat imaginary food and his stomach actually gets fuller. He’s also a dick. He would teach children how to fly but never how to stop, so they’d fly for months on straight without rest or break, and they couldn’t sleep either or they’d stop flying. And when one of Wendy’s brothers actually fell asleep and plummeted into the ocean, Peter laughed his ass off. He only saved him when Wendy begged him too. okay but that’s the point of Peter Pan. It’s not supposed to glorify never growing up, it’s supposed to show kids why growing up is not only good, but necessary otherwise they’d end up as fucked up as Peter. He never matured, never learned right from wrong, he never listened to his parents because - according to Peter - he ran away as an infant.It’s a tale to teach children that listening to their parents and growing up is good. As far as Tinker Bell goes, if you actually read Peter Pan you would know that fairies only feel one emotion at a time and they feel that emotion very strongly so the orgy? lust. Trying to kill Wendy? Jealousy. She embodies the seven deadly sins and what happens if you let your emotions get the best of you. (And as far as the new fairies series of films making her nicer it’s because you only see the jealous side of her in Peter Pan and you see other sides of her in the series because those movies are about her).Rant over, you can go back to your regularly scheduled blogging now. So if Peter Pan shows up in your window. Stab him in the fucking chest kids. You have school tomorrow Reblogging because I believe this will be important to the Once Upon a Time fandom tomorrow. It’s more complicated than that. Peter is kind of a tragic hero. He chooses not to grow up, he knows he is incomplete. I mean, he cut off Hook's hand because he thought it was a game. He clearly doesn’t know right from wrong. He also only knows the unconditional love of a mother to a child, which is why he thinks everyone wants to be his mother. He also switches sides in a fight just for fun, kill pirates for fun, and “thins” out the Lost Boys when they can’t fit in the tree anymore. But, like, it wasn’t a cautionary tale to tell you to listen to your parents, it’s a story about death and youth. Why can’t Peter grow up? One of the popular theories is that it’s because he’s dead. J.M. Barrie’s older brother died when Barrie was little and he dressed up in his brother’s clothes to please his mom. His mom - who was always distant, whose love Barrie craved like Peter craves a mom - started crying and said something like “At least my baby will never grow up” and that idea stuck with Barrie forever. Then, as an adult, it’s believed he never slept with his wife because Barrie was just a kid. He was Peter Pan. He was too innocent for that. He befriended the Llewelyn-Davies boys and based Peter Pan off of them and their games. (Fun fact: The boy Peter Pan was named after, Peter Llewelyn-Davies, threw himself under a train). There was also a bunch of stuff about Barrie being in love with The Llewlyn-Davies boys’ mother, but that’s not important here. People think Peter’s dead because he literally cannot return home. He tried and the window was barred and his parents had replaced him with another baby. Why? Probably because they had lost Peter to the flu. Why does Peter come in through the window? Because of the joke “I once had a bird names Enza. I opened up the window and ‘influenza’.” Because lots of babies died back then form the flu. The Lost Boys are children who fell out of their prams. Odds are babies could not survive falling out of their prams. Peter is liked the pied piper ferrying the souls of young children to the neverland/afterlife. Barrie believed that all children were “gay and heartless” but he didn’t think that was a bad thing. Also, Hook and his crew are not old lost boys trying to kill Peter. Hook was once a British gentlemen (hinted at to be associated with Charles II and attended Elton) and he is afraid of growing old. His biggest fear is growing old and dying - that is why his nemesis is the embodiment of eternal youth. That is why the crocodile that chases him swallowed a clock and ticks. That is why when Peter finally decided “It’s Hook of me this time” the crocodile has stopped ticking and Peter started (he’s trying to trick them into thinking he’s the croc). At that moment - Peter is time and time has ran out for Hook. Also, it’s not so much that Peter is omnipotent. All kids basically are in the Neverland. Like, it states that the island looks different to every kid because it’s the land of their dreams and stuff. Also, the island legit freezes when Peter leaves and thaws when he comes back. He’s been there so long he’s not human anymore - but fey. (keep in mind being fey isn’t good, just chaotic neutral). Peter even secretes pixie dust now. The island is so fine tuned with him because he’s one of the only people that stay, that it caters to him. Most likely any child that stayed as long as he did would become omnipotent to an extent. As for Tinker Bell, the above stated is true. Fairies are so tiny they can only have one emotion at a time - “Tink wasn’t all bad” - and they also have really short lifespans so, like, Tinker Bell isn’t even that important to Peter Pan. He forgets all about her and Hook by the time Wendy is grown up.And the orgies thing is because in the legends fey are known for their revelries.  And it wasn’t so much that Peter was a dick, he just doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a child. He doesn’t know right from wrong. He doesn’t know when to stop playing -cutting Hooks hand off was a game to him. He also has the memory of a child, so odds are he just forgot to teach kids how to stop flying or how to imagine food, etc. He is just carefree, like all children. Everything is a game to him, because he never learned anything else. But like, no, Peter Pan is not a cautionary tale. Barrie loved his character and the story and brought up a lot of good things in it. He wrote Peter as an exaggeration of a cocky overconfident boy, but, like, Peter wasn’t afraid of death. It says “he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blithe attitude towards death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.“ and with that Barrie is showing us both a naivety and bravery we possess as children but lose as adults and is basically telling us that we shouldn’t let that go. Like, the point is growing up is inevitable but you don’t have to lose everything. And so yeah….I’m really passionate about Peter Pan.
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Ass, England, and Horses: capsbum Follow 4ft 8.5" Why 4 FEET 8.5 Inches is Very Important Fascinating Stut Railroad Tracks The U.S Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches That's an exceedingly odd number Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they buit them in England, and Engish expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads. Why did the Engish buid them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who buit the pre- railroad tramways, and thats the gauge they used Why did they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same igs and tools that they had used for buiding wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of he wheel ruts. So, who buit those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome buit the first long distance roads in Europe (including England for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were al alke in the matter of wheel spacing Therefore, the Unted States standard rairoad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot In other words, bureaucracies lve forever So the next time you are handed a specfication, procedure, or process, and wonder, "What horse's ass came up with this? you may be exactly right Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate he rear ends of two war horses. Now the twist to the story When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah The engineers who designed the SRES WOuld have preferred to make them a bit larger but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site The rairoad ine from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel The tunnel is sightly wider than the railroad track, and the ralroad track, as you now know is about as wide as two horses behinds So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasnt importanti Now you know Horses' Asses control almost everything Explains a whole lot of stut, doesn't it? djrichiecee This is the single most mind blowing fact I've read on tunbr, every day is a school day-thank you Nice history lesson My daughler and I were just discussing this very subject Source totalharmonyc. ow Phistory un 5,328 notes how space shuttles and horse asses are connected [LONG]
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Fake, Love, and Music: HOW ABOUT soft mallets 8 JUST DON'T PLAY infood Fun Story My drector kept teling me and m tenor sax buddy bo play softer No matter what my buddy Done play this time Just fake Our Band Director then nfoemed us we sounded perfect To my readers p means quiet pp means realy quiet Ive never seen On the contrast f means loud, and ttir probably means so loud you go I had fl in a pece once and my conductor told me to play as oudly as physicaly possièle without faling off my char Me and my trombone buddes had and he sat next to me and played so hard that he tel out of tis The lengths we go for music Okay yeah so Eplay the bass claninet and he amount of air you have to move and the stiftness of the reed means only has two setings and that is loud and louder wth an optional LOUDEST th ncludes a 60% probatakty of HORRELE CROAKİNG NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiqutous clarinet One day, when Iwas n concert band in high school we got a new piece handed out for the frst time, and there was a strange itte commotion back in the tuba section whisperning and peinsng at something in the music, and swatting at each other's hands at shhh dont cal attendion toe And wthough they dd aract the atention of basicaly everyone else in the band, they managed t avoid being noticed by the band drector, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then sad Al nght let's run through tup to sectionA And here we are cheerfuly playing along sounding reasonably competent-but everyone, when they have the tention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players They dant come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see Istfled geging reeeeeealy deep breath ICOLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when hasnt actuary been cued to sap The band drector doesnt even say anything just looks straight back the tubas and makes a helpless sot of sby gesture h unison, the luba players defend themselves THERE WERE FOURFS FFFF is not realy a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for ithe love of al tha s holy why would you put in a fuba part This is the best band post Everyone else go home Oh man so I play brombone, and we got this piece caled Florentiner Marsch by aus Fuck, and we saw which is 8 fortes We were shocked u har is 24 fortes who the tuck des that This guy. Take a good look-that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose ulus IdontgvaFucik More ise Julus Fuckt ppp and fff
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Alive, Being Alone, and Bones: imiplicit Demand For Proof Fall Away The Pantaloon Addict With A Pen 1) I know you're not a liar I don't want to fall, fall away. I don't want to fal, fall away I will keep the lights on in this place Cause I dont want to fall, fall away Hello, We haven't talked in quite some time I know, I haven't been the best, of sons. Hello, Ive been traveling in the desert of my mind, And I haven't found a drop of life. I haven't found a drop of you I haven't found & drop. t haven't found a drop of water Water Your grandpa died, when you were nine, And I know you oould set fire this day Go ahead and make me look away. say he had lost his mind. Yonu learned, way too soon, Strike me down, I am calling your lightning You should never trust the Pantaloon. Down from your Go abead and show me your Now, It's your turn, to to be alone, Plnd a wife and build yourself& home You have learned, way too soon, That your dad is now the Pantaloon. ahorus) I disguise and I will lie, And I will take my precious time, Rain down, and destroy me. (verse 2) I am simply very perplexed by your ways. As the days melt as I stand in line I try desperately to run through the sand as I Hold the water in the palm of my hand Cause its all that I have and its all that I need and the, The waves of the water mean nothing to me But I try my best in all that I can to, Hold tightly on to what's left in my hand But no matter how, how tightly I will strain The sand will slow me down and the water will drain. I'm just betng dramatic, in fact And I die as I wait as I walt on my orime, And Ill try to delay what you make of my life, But I don't want your way, I want mine, You are tired, you are hurt. A moth ate through your favorite shirt. Why wouid you let us use your name? and I'm trying but betieve me I'm fine, t I'm lying, I'm so very far from fine And all your friends fertilize, The ground you walk (chorus) Loope your mind L, I can feel the pull begin, Peel my conscience wearing thin And my skin, will start. He's peen too many stare doWns Between the aun and the moon in the morning atr, how He used to huntle all the people walking through the fairgrounds, He's been around so long, he's changed his meaning of a chair now Beoause a chair now Is like a uny island in the ses of all the people, Who glide acroes the very aurface thbat made his bones feeble. The end oan't come soon enough but is it too soon? Either way he oan't deny, he is the Pantaloon. at it aguin, To up and fall apart. Wha's addicted to the As it blows me back and (ahorus) Bind leas, spineless, and pretend Of course I'll be here again. 8ee you tomorrow but its tbe end, Of today, end of my ways, As a walking denial, my trial waa filed, As a crazy suicidal head oase Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision, My crime la my sentenoe, repentance is taking commiasion, It's taking a toll on my soul, I'm screaming submiosion, And, I don't know if I am dying or living Cause I will save face for name's sake, abuse grace, Take aim to obtain a new name and a new plaoe, But my name is larme, I cant walk and I ain't the same, And my name beoarme & new destiny to the grave But you specialize in You hear me screaming And I'm lying here just crying, So wash me with your water (verne 3) You like to aleep alone, it's oolder than you know Cause your akin is so, used to colder bones It'a warmer in the morning, than whas it is at night Your bones are held together by your nightmares and your (chorus) (x2) (chorua) Friend, Please March To The Sea (verse 1) I feel for you but when did you believe you were alone. There's miles of land in front of us And we're dying with every step we talke, breath we make, And I'I fall in line. You say that spiders cziwled inesde and made themselves a home. Wer dyingwith evearyrs A stranger's back is all i see, And I'll look left and right sometimes, But I'll fall in line. And no one looks up anymore, Where light once was He's only a few feet in front of Potrifted of who you are and who you have become. You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone, To exterminate your bones (chorus) Priend, please remove your hands from Over your eyes for me I know you want to leave but Priend, please don't take your life away from me. Cause you might got, a raindrop in your eye, And heaven forbid they see you ory, As we fall in line. And about this time of every year, The line will go to the ocean pier And walk right off into the sea, And then we fall asleep. (verse 2) Laving like a ghost you walle by everyone you know You say that you're fine but you have lost your sway and glow 8o I stopped by to let you know And as we near the end of land And our ooean graves are just the Band I ask mysolf the question why, I fall in line And then out of the corner of my eye I aee a spaceship in the slky, (chorus) And hear a voice inside my head, "Pollow me instead" (bridge) And then the wages of war will start, Inside my head with my counterpart, And the emotionless marchers will ohant the phrase, Would you let me know your plans tonight Cause I just won't let go tal we both pee the light. And I have nothing else left to Bay But I will listen to you all day, yes I will. This line's the only wa And then I start down the sand, My eyes are focused on the end of land, But again the voice inside my head, Says "follow me instead" (ahorus) Take me up, Beal the door Idon't want to march here anymore I realize that this line is dead So I'll follow you instead. 8o then you put me back in my place So I might start another And once again I will be, In a march to the sea. 0 He stays home from work this time. He never really I don' fall slow like I used to, I fall straight down, But the muffs on your ears will cater your fears You're But now he's just watching the back ofhis eyes. And I just don't say what you want to hear But they lie when they blame it on the times. And I don't believe in talking just to breathe, Open the slits in your face and start your day You don't have much time to make your slits look alright I want to fall inside your ghoet, And flll up every hole inside my Sometime we will die and sonetimes we will ly away Either way you're by my side until my dying days, I want to crack the door so I can just fall out. You reached in the back and buckled up your heart And if I'm not there and I'm far away I said, Look in the mirror and ask your soul if you're alright. Don't be afraid, I eaid don't be afraid, We're going home It was a little dark so he held a makeshit toroh I want to strip myself of breath, A breathless plece of death I've He crept in her room and stayed there for the night We pick songs to sing, remind us of things that no body oares And honestly we're probably more suiaidal than ever now If you decide to live by, what you think's wrong and what's right, Your weeping will oreep in head and you'll cry We can tate a part our very heart and the light will set you free, So the hearse ran out of gas, the passenger person grabbed a map And the driver inside devised a new route to save the past, And checked his watoh and grabbed a cab, A beautifully planned taxi cab, the cab, Had a cleared out back and two men started to unpack. Driving once again and now this time there were three men, And then I heard one of them say, "I know the night will turn to grey, I know the stars will start to fade when all the darkness fades away, We had to steal him from his fate so he could see another day". And then I aracked open my box, someone must have picked the lock, A little light revealed the spot, where my inger nails had fought, Then I pushed to open more, pushing up againat the door, Then I sat up off the floor and found the breath I was searching for. There they were, three men up front All I saw were backs of heads, And then I asked If I'm alive and well, or am I dreaming dead. Then one turned around to say And time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading we repeat the same routine as we will please Please think about why you can't sleep in the evening But for now you told me to hold this jar And when I looked inside I saw it held your heart, And please don't be afraid of what your soul is really thinking Your soul knows good and evil, your soul knows both sides And it's time you pick your battle, and I promise you this is popcandy: from Reddit: a lyric book for self-titled originally sold at concerts back in 2010
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Fake, God, and Love: HOW ABOUT soft mallets JUST DON'T PLAY softer. No matter what we did, t wasnt seft my buddy "Dont play this time. Just fake Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect To my readers p means On the contrast, f means loud, and ttr probably means so loud you go I had filI1 in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physicaly possèle le and my trombone buddes had ft and he sat next to me and played so hard th he tel out of his The lengths we go for music Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stitness of the reed means it only has two setings and that is loud and ouder, with an optional LOUDEST that ncludes a 50% probatolty of HORRIBLE CROAKİNG NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiqutous clarinet One day, when I was in concert band in high school we got a new piece handed out for the frst time, and there was a strange litle commotion back in the tuba section_ whispering and pointng at something in the music, and swatting at each other's hands al shhh dont cae anention to And although they did atract the atention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, All right, let's run through tup to sectionA And here we are, cheerfuly playing along sounding reasonably competent-but everyone, when they have the atention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players They dont come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do Istfled gigging Treeeeeeally deep breath [COLOSSAL FOG RN NOSE The entire band slops dead, in the caccphonous kind of way that a band stops when禮hasnt actualy been cued to stop The band director doesnt even say anything just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a In unison, the tuba players defend themselves THERE WERE FOUR FS FFFF is not realy a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of al tha s holy why would you put t in a uba part This is the best band post Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play brombone, and we got this piece caled Florentiner Marsch by Julus Fuck, and we saw which is 8 fortes. We were shocked unti that is 24 fortes who the tuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look-that is the moustache of a Julus IdontgivaFucik More like Julus Fuckit WHAT THIS NE NEVER EN THE LAST TWO STORES OH MY GOD 8247 wHT IS DtE GOD 0AMN PONT I AM SO UPSET DO YOU WANT FLICKİNG HNA LISTENING TO YOUR CONCERTDECAUSE GUESS WAT THAT I WHAT YOURE GOING TO GET Found this masterpiece among my favouritesomg-humor.tumblr.com
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