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Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

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Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so l just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back. I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask. Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was stil extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught. I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that's not the point Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crushl And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!" My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" biggest-gaudiest-patronuses damn right we did Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
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Dancing, Life, and Soon...: I was at my cousins wedding reception and had just sat down from dancing. It was nearing the end of the night at this time so I was pretty secluded from everyone. A man walked up to me who I hadn't seen before and nervously said "what's your name?" I replied, "Chad, what's yours?" He said "Shane, I just wanted to let you know that I have noticed you all night. I wanted to leave this with you before I left." He handed me a piece of paper and quickly walked out. It was his number. Without knowing if I was straight or not he had built up the guts to put himself out there. I thought it was extremely brave and I know it's something I wouldn't be able to do. I'm sharing this to remind everyone to live their lives without regrets. Almost all of my regrets come from the things I didn't do, not the things I did. I will be living my life more like this man and I suggest you all do as well. Good night. o Verizon 12:21 AM 〈Messages Wedding Guy Details iMessage Yesterday 11:51 PM Hey this is Chad from the wedding. I just wanted to let you know that I actually have a girlfriend but I thought it was really brave what you did I. Keep it up I hope you're a good year! Hey Chad. I appreciate you responding, man. It took me forever to pony up the guts to do it. I really never thought that you would respond because l was so awkward the entire time . Your gf is a lucky gal! Thanks a lot! Keep it up its so much better to live your life without the regrets of not doing those types of things even if they're scary at the time. I wish you the best and know you'll find someone soon. Havea great week! Delivered O iMessage 0 owloftheforest: pleatedjeans: via This is what society needs, less stigma around gay people trying to find what everyone else does. For people who aren’t lgbtq to understand that we are just trying and if you aren’t attracted to us don’t take it offensively or weirdly and just politely say no. I wish I had the courage to give guys my number in public.

owloftheforest: pleatedjeans: via This is what society needs, less stigma around gay people trying to find what everyone else does. For p...

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Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it. He wanted to know how, so I told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes l executed any number of water related feats- I've been swimming since l was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school. I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like... You were right about adults." "Yeah kid,I know." Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someone!" "Well. You need to establish some credibility first," Itold him. You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you." He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half mermaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously. He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes People that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted
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Being Alone, Bodies , and Fire: KIC STA 10 Here's a salutary lesson for anyone who uses Original Source mint and tea tree shower gel for the first time. It's pretty strong stuff. How strong? THIS strong. I Know, I Need To Stop Talking Yesterday at 2:35am Um, Original Source.. can we talk? I'd like to take you back to around 6.45am this morning, when I stepped into my bath, and found that my usual, rather innocuous bottle of shower gel (Waitrose essentials, Rose) had run out. A tad irritating, but fortuitously, I had a solution close to hand. A brand new, unopened bottle of your very own Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. My bodily cleanliness was assured once more. I breathed a sigh of relief I took the Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel and began to work it into a lather I applied it to first one leg, then the other, and shaved them diligently (Yes, feel free to be impressed at my commitment to body defoliation at 6.45am on a Wednesday morning. I was too.) So far, so good. I washed my arms and shaved underneath them. I washed my neck, breasts, stomach and back. Thus far, it had been a positively first class bathing experience. And then. AND THEN. Oh. Dear, God. MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE "MY FUCKING FLAPS!!!!" For a moment, I wasn't entirely sure what had happened. Had I repeated the never to be forgotten error when I managed to apply hair removal cream which was strictly not for front bottoms to my front bottom? Had a stray spark inadvertently set light to my pubic thatch? BECAUSE IT FUCKING FELT LIKE IT Yes, Original Source, your innocuous looking green bottle of so called shower gel, it turns out, is an absolute fucking liability. MY FLAPS WERE ON FUCKING FIRE. I had a quick look at the ingredients list to see if it contained gasoline. It did not. There was a warning though. 'KEEP AWAY FROM EYES. Keep away from eyes? KEEP AWAY FROM EYES? Franky my eyes were the least of my problems right now. I frantically scrubbed my flaps, which by now felt as though they were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce. 7,929 tingling leaves' claimed the front of the bottle. Tingling? TINGLING? This wasn't tingling my minge. It was starting a fucking bush fire down there. (Pun entirely intended. You can thank me later.) Some twelve hours later, my front bottom has finally calmed down, though may well be suffering from as yet unconfirmed PTSD. My eyes have eventually stopped watering. And so, in the interests of public safety, I thought I would pen you this missive. May I suggest a rebranding of the front of your bottles of Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel? Something along the lines of the following: 7,927 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy If nothing else, it will certainly stand out on the shelf Anyways, thanks for brightening up my morning. And my front bottom, which has never been so lively Kisses, IKINTST xxx She's not the alone one to have had such an experience. Mary E Sparrow We have a bottle of this and I made the same mistake! And then to add fuel to the fire, shaved my delicate area! My husband and our son also made the mistake of applying it to their bobby danglers and let's just say their golden balls shot back up inside their bodies and didn't come out again for days!!! So we feel your pain and reading this I cried laughing, partly in mirth and partly discomfort at the memory Wendy Tinsley I'm assuming its a similar sensation to when your dick of a Husband replaces the andrex bum wipes with flash lemon fresh wipes... Was like my minnie has been dipped Fiona Neale I used this on my little boy when he was tiny, didn't think about the effects. As soon as I had scrubbed him clean he announced that his winky had pins and needles'. He sat for an hour with a cold flannel on him and still likes to remind me of his trauma Of couse there must be someone like it Kirren Gumbo Summers I find it quite refreshing, V especially if used to clean your ring, it's like having a midget that's eaten extra strong mints, blow on your rusty bullet hole all day- most welcome in the midst of summer Woman’s hilarious ‘flaps on fire’ rant goes viral after using Original Source mint shower gel
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