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Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Af, Ass, and Cute: Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties So, my stepson has a girl upstairs in his room that stayed the night and my wife doesn't know yet. I'm curious on how he plans to smuggle her out now that the whole family is awake... ...and now we wait Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties People asking for updates: she's still here, the wife has gone into full Saturday house cleaning mode. Stil hasn't noticed the cute white shoes by the door. This could be his chance while she's distracted. Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 11:00am central standard time... My wife (amazing wife) cleaning so hard core she doesn't even notice me standing behind her to take this pic... Music cranked all the way. Now's the chance. will he see the opportunity?? Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d I think they might be waiting it out. The wife usually lays down and reads after lunch, especially after cleaning her ass off all morning. Could he be waiting for that?? Can she hold her pee another hour or so?? I have no idea what they thinking up there 940 t532 8,957 Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d I'm afraid this thread isn't going to live up to the hype. You know, like a Ben Affleck Miramax movie 'm waiting just like the rest of you 921 ロ470 ㅇ8,240.1, Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d OMG OMG OHHHH MY GAWDDDDDDD SHE CAME DOWN TO USE THE BATHROOM! IT'S ONE OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS! See. Mom might believe it's just a friendly sleepover, she was lucky enough to sleep through the fuck fest above our heads at 4am Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d I don't even know if the wife saw her come downstairs to use the bathroom. She's said nothing and it's not like I can ask... Yet 2451 ㅇ7,508 Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d I don't even know if the wife saw her come downstairs to use the bathroom. She's said nothing and it's not like I can ask... Yet t2451 7,508 Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties 1d Omg this kid!! NONCHALANT AF he casually strolls downstairs... AND grabbed those shoes and went back upstairs. Side eyeing me the whole way past. I shot him a little wink. They gonna hit that side door. bet. Tricky-D @DropsNoPanties And closure... Sure enough, hit the side door and they gone. I don't know about you but need a drink after that suspense. Thanks for following along! That was amazing A story worth of a short film
Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)