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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Anaconda, Bad, and Click: Teachers: Wikipedia is very u instead nreliable "Hands out 25 year old textbooks Alrighty guys gals, and other genders and lack thereof I'm gonna teach ya a thing A lot of teachers will go on about not using wikipedia as a source. It's bad, they say. 1 will deduct points if you do it. Well wikipedia is actually a great source of information and fuck what your teacher said, you absolutely can use it The key though is knowing A. How to use it. B. How to source it and C. whether it is good info or trash. NowFirst Lets look up something on wikipedia. Say your writing a paper on Gregor Mendel and Mendelian Inheritance. So you zoom over to the Wikipedia page on Mendelian Inheritance. Now there is a lot of information here. Not all of it is strictly necessary for that essay you are writing. So you read through and suddenly you see something that is good info for your essay Boy oh boy this information is useful. To bad your teacher said No Wikipedia Ever However there is a loophole. It's right there. No. Go closer r each trait from each parent. You see that little four? Its a citation number. Think of wikipedia as it's own essay. It got it's information from other sources out there. Just ike you are trying to right now. And since there is a citation, it's going to be listed at the end of the wikipedia article. Look at citation number 4 Look at that you have your first citation. From Wikipedia. And look. Do you see it. There is a link. It's the blue words with the boxy tion ai That thing. Click it. Why did you leave wikipedia you ask? Wikipedia is great. You have several sources from there. But There is more than what the put in to that wiki article. Those sources Wikipedia gave you are helpful. And now that you are at the source, you can ublize it But what if its a book that's the source You can either head to your local library and see if they have it, order it, on avoid the book source. Online sources are just as valuable. Also do not quote directly from the wikipedia. Quote from the source and then use quote citation. And MLA citation. Use MLA citation. Since you are linked to the sources cite them. Not the wikipedia. Your teacher will never know. And now you can finish that sweet e got planned ssay you You're on your way to greatness. For anybody not aware you can abuse the absolute fuck out of Wikipedia for any papers! rm an academic librarian and i 100% endorse this post l am also an academic ibrarian and I 100% endorse this post CITATIONS are important Wikipedia