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Ass, Beer, and Condom: 41 .d 70% 1:17 AM Saturday 1140 PM all i want to know is if that pic is photoshopped oh fuck wait the rest of them are i didn't even notice that Or maybe l actually died in a selfie related shark attack In 2018 anything's possible fr tho you got some quality photoshop skills Though my usual Tinder claim to fame is my poetry writing Gimme a format pick between Shakespearean sonnet or Dr Seuss poem and then l'd need a topic oh shit seuss for sure write aboutittt stupid frat boys Today 1:13 AM At Who University's campus downtown, studious students awaited sundown For during the day they're the learning ish sort. but after night fell? Watch Fraternity At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu a Vineyard-Vine chino store stepped into view A stack of red cups looming tall on his the Cat in the Frat prowled for Whogirls He saw a lone girl and assessed her cup size and then, in this order, gawked ass, chest and eyes He waltzed in on over and offered her and said "come with me, oh the places you'll cum! They snuck to a bedroom and passed Mister Grinch whose hazing machine dragged six pledges by winch. Its arms and its knobs fed the pledges and doubly increased their fraternity Just by the hazing in haze of his own, the Lorax sat still undeniably stoned. A pledge wandered up.. 'there's something I need. The Lorax did smile: 1 speak for the We ve got Xannys and Mollys and cocaine galore and ketamine, mushrooms and DMT-4 There's indicas, indigos, everywhich and every eigth bought, have a free hit of speed Horton popped pills called Pill 1 and Pill and then followed up with Pill Red and Pill Blue His world washed away as he tripped for three hours hearing small voices that spoke from puff fiowers. The Cat in the Frat roled off well what's-her-name and let her slip out with red visible He looked at his sheets and saw stains left by beer, and thought should I was them? Oh, maybe next year He'd wanted a girl from each stop on Srat Row with Ki Frappa Sig down just five more to go, He put back the condom he told her he'd wear And then set on foot for the cleanup The party had ended and Whos had gone home, with red cup footsteps creaking sticky beer foam Sprawled on the floor was that poor Sam I Am, and someone's puked-up rancid green eggs and ham. The Cat in the Frat called the cleaning which rolled and ka-sputtered its way through the scene Its arms and gloved hands dusted swept, and wipe dried and even did know to turn Sam on his At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu, The party lifecycle began thus anew. Tuesday was done and yet Wednesday drew near... The Cat had to run and go buy some more beer THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING OH MY FUCKINF GOD I LVOE YOU Type a message Frat Life
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Beautiful, Gif, and God: Emilia 12:27 AM A sonnet about a first love 1:18 AM What a nice, nonironic ask. Subject matter's adorable, so here She places hand to chest with heart a-blaze, Each halting thump a dance of heat and joy. No other one could brighten up her days, Delightful nights' embrace with caring boy No earthly sight as great as she to him, Undressing nude in morning bedside light. Declaring unbound feeling on a whim, Engagement? marriage? Wedding dresses white? Soon bride and groom, they loved with all their heart, Expecting everything to stay the same Mirages ripple, warp, and tear apart; Idealized people's pictures do the same Love lost is better than a love not shared In some pursuits, the rich are those who dared Liked by Emilia Aaaand there we go. A sonnet thingy Oh my go Made my whole night, that was beautiful Just wait until you read the first letter of each line LMAO Okay night officially made That was great I'm still laughing Then you don't even wanna know about what happens if you read the first letter of each word in my first response Oh my god Do you do this to every girl? Lmfaoooo because that's actually a talent If only it ended there, Emilia Read the first letter of the second word of every line In what message? In the poem, the first letter of the second word in each line Honestly, you deserve it after all that Is that the end of the hidden messages so i can give it to you haha What if I told you to read the first letter of each of your own messages Lmao nah you've reached the end Your message GIF Thats it. Im done. Ive actually peaked this time and Ill never reach these heights again

Thats it. Im done. Ive actually peaked this time and Ill never reach these heights again

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Being Alone, Doge, and Dude: EBOOK 9 Shakespeare never tweeted a sonnet. NOTEBOOK 3.9 6.99 10andthetardis chaoswolf1982 ennlyons adelyn Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn't tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway) Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit. He'd rock the fuck out of memes. Dont deny it Exit, pursued by a doge. much run wow I don't understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There's a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery. ALL OF THIS Also, the comment 'Exit, pursued by a doge' alone makes this worth reblogging D Heck, the line that's based on, "Exit, pursued by bear", only exists because Shakespeare couldn't think of any other way to get rid of the character, so opted to have him attacked by a bear, which did not exist in the play before that moment. He literally made a bear appear out of thin air, just to kill off a character, purely due to writer's block And then the bear gets him The bear? Yes the bear Yes to everything this post says. Shakespeare would have been too tech savvy if he would have existed now
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Dumb, Earned It, and Jurassic Park: RI 4aal 79%. 12:38 AM Amber Sat, Apr 14, 1:22 PM AMBER ALERT South FL 10/10 Red Hair Bk Converse, 2016 W "Good Things T-shirt. If sighted, text Mon, Apr 16, 12:44 PM It's been three days and still no reported sightings.... I'm sorry.... we've gotta call off the search at this point. Our department just doesn't have the funding to keep chasing cold trails. We've failed you, and you can never know how much we wish could change that Tue, May 1, 12:15 AM Call me "the mosquito from Jurassic Park" because l'd like to lock some genetic information into Amber Saturday 3:21 PM Wow you were dedicated here 3 attempts and nothing You're an ambitious at least Monday 12:01 AM I spent more time than I'll admit looking for a pun involving Amberger But I mean my usual Tinder MO is writing lengthy poems or sonnets to custom orders so you haven't yet seen my true power Monday 1:20 AM Write me a sonnet About whales Monday 2:19 AM Shall I compare thee to a tidal wave? Thou art more massive and more full of For seaweed whips in mottled, tangled grave and summer's tides do draw at times of strife When near the beach a perfect form reclines sometime too quick the ocean makes retreat. And there in air exposed the blubber shines mine eyes own love could turn the saltfoam sweet For thy eternal summer shall not fade and love shall be doled out in metric ton. Let forth your grace eject from blowhole sprayed my schoolbus-sized blue humpedback true loved one Forevermore my breath is captured still, my bosom full of love as yours with krill. Today 12:20 AM Ok what I actually really liked that Like a stupid amount Honestly tinder is dumb and I only have t have it to make fun of people in my groupchats but I'm not gonna make fun of you You earned it It's been all of 3 minutes and I'm still perplexed Are you an English major? What's your story, Drew? Who the hell are you? manell are you? Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

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Dumb, Earned It, and Jurassic Park: RI 4a.d 79%. 12:38 AM Amber Sat, Apr 14, 122 PM AMBER ALERT South FL 10/10 Red Hair Bk Converse, "2016 W "Good Things" T-shirt. If sighted, text Mon, Apr 16, 12:44 PM It's been three days and still no reported sightings.... I'm sorry.... we've gotta call off the search at this point. Our department just doesn't have the funding to keep chasing cold trails We've failed you, and you can never know how much we wish could change that Tue, May 1, 12.15 AM Call me "the mosquito from Jurassic Park" because I'd like to lock some genetic information into Amber Saturday 3:21 PM you were dedicated here 3 attempts and nothing You're an ambitious at least Monday 12:01 AM I spent more time than I'll admit looking for a pun involving Amberger But I mean my usual Tinder MO is writing lengthy poems or sonnets to custom orders so you haven't yet seen my true power Monday 1:20 AM Write me a sonnet About whales Monday 2:19 AM Shall I compare thee to a tidal wave? Thou art more massive and more full of For seaweed whips in mottled, tangled grave and summer's tides do draw at times of strife When near the beach a perfect form reclines sometime too quick the ocean makes retreat And there in air exposed the blubber shines mine eyes' own love could turn the saltfoam sweet For thy eternal summer shall not fade and love shall be doled out in metric ton Let forth your grace eject from blowhole sprayed my schoolbus-sized blue humpedback true loved one Forevermore my breath is captured still, my bosom full of love as yours with krill. Today 12:20 AM Ok what l actually really liked that Like a stupid amount Honestly tinder is dumb and I only have it to make fun of people in my groupchats but I'm not gonna make fun of you You earned it It's been all of 3 minutes and I'm still perplexed Are you an English major? What's your story, Drew? Who the hell are you? Sent Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

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Cats, Church, and Dr. Seuss: smi Today 6:33 PM Like I said, mine usually wind up in poetry. I think this was an outlier for us both tbh Tell u what a write you a poem to help drown out the murderwedding Shakespearean sonnet, limerick, or Dr Seuss style? And then I'd need a topic hmm dr seuss styles seems different i actually don't mind the murder wedding topic Sooo a Dr. Seuss poem about a Because if so, comin' right up Today 719 PM yup. key to my heart right there The church bells ka-klangered with rupturous sound as everyone gathered and crowded The Whofolk of Whoville all smiled with to witness the wedding of woman and boy. We're gathered today, the Lorax Up here on the hill with my favorite tree These two will trade vows, together and then let the murderous bloodshed The man did step forward and proffered and stared in her eyes and was lost for a while. But soon did the moment return him with haste as he reached for pages he'd tucked in his waist My Sally, my love, words cannot the love that I feel in my heart and my brain. The feelings come in in a wondrous flood so I have to have have you to kill in cold I promise you this, my dear Sam I Am, I'd poison your breakfast of green eggs and ham. I meant what I said and I said what I I promise I'll kill you, one hundred The crowd did applaud and gushed out their 'awwws and then did soon fall. and then did soon fall a quite tangible pause The Lorax stepped forward, his face in And now let the murdering bloodfest Horton stomped guests into glittering refusing to listen to screams of a Who He tossed a man up, straight up in the airl And down he did crash through a woody old chair Thing One and Thing Two both did pull and squeezed on the triggers.. oh what such good fun They gunned down the Lorax with rat-a- tat-tat but then came their boss the nefarious Cat He waitzed up to One and did toss his hat free and said "give your gun, you should give it to me!" "I can't give it, Cat.. 'd be a sitting duck!" But the Cat didin't give one flippity-flap- flying fuck. He pushed on a button and watched his machine a horrific titan that loomed over scene Its arms and its gloves all did spin all knocking off heads quite scary no doubt! But then Sam I Am gave and leaped through the air- wow, did a furious roar, He tossed a He tossed a grenade right into Cat's seat and Booml all that lay were two smoking cat feet. All 'cross the field, corpses bled rainbow hues, which pooled up and squished with each step into shoes The bride and the groom were t two to stand and there they embraced, both with blades in their hand he last A flash and a crack, and then both coughed in sync and down to their knees both in unison slinked. As darkness closed in, with stopping of they shared one more kiss... "ill death do us part Today 8:15 PM that was the best thing i've ever read we can get married now i'm ready Time to run these poems straight into the ground 😎
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Club, Love, and Shakespeare: loy Billy colins conveys just this n nis u sonnat" by using form, imagery, atie ei Following the quidelines set by shakespeare, 0llins' poem is exactly fourteen lines iong. Past First line he fomows tme ideal meter of a sonnet the pornn a line a sarcastic feeting toward the of sonnets meter,rhyma scheme, etc. in rhe ambic pentameter unti the ",wel,. The commas break the poem's metet,acting as a cesura, qiving ubject of sonnuts. mis break Flows throughour the poem, qiving the reader a sarcastic, apáthetic feeling that mimics rhe feeling of the author. Furth the form of the tite even shouis the author's attitud tite, which is in auctes, aots acts as a joke: aemost as ie the author is sauing, "sonnetqnot really a sonnet The imagery plays into rhe typícal idea oF o sonnei as wel Inine Three. "To launch a little chi n love's storm-tossed seas", an imaqe of a ittle ip boat being pumeled by the tea is s the typicat purpose of a sonnet, to funci as a love letter to then be pumeed lo the и Sonnt", however, theauthor see re ss S typical idea of ntil he can bl einisud. Te y love.in move letter sonnet,as to be is counting lines until he n ot finishad. The ntxt lina depict py Rhing out oF place. me author perfecti Occordanci to a sonnt rejects this io ninred <p><a href="http://laughoutloud-club.tumblr.com/post/160163473356/one-of-my-students-has-extremely-uniform" class="tumblr_blog">laughoutloud-club</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>One of my students has extremely uniform handwriting</p></blockquote>

laughoutloud-club: One of my students has extremely uniform handwriting

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