🔥 Popular | Latest

Save
Confused, Thank You, and Hunting: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Here is my official plan to change the world as we know it: I become a paramedic. If l encounter patients who cannot be saved, just as they're about to die, I'll look them dead (haha) in the eyes and slap 'em real hard If ghosts are real, this will cause dozens of them to be personally upset with me. I mean, at the very least, they'll want answers. I'll be the most haunted person ever. This means I'll have dozens of opportunities to record paranormal phenomenon. I'll get my own show on the Travel Channel called GHOST SLAPPER, through which I'll eventually get irrefutable scientific evidence that ghosts exist, making me the wealthiest and most respected paranormal researcher of all time. . On my death bed, one of my interns will slap me real hard, to make sure I come back all pissed off and confused .I will be the first ghost to host a ghost hunting show (which is mega cool, come on, admit it) Eventually, the secret goes global, and everyone starts slapping their loved ones real hard as they die, because they believe it's the best way for their spirit to remain here on Earth with them . After enough time, death slaps become commonplace. People have DNS (do not slap) instructions in their wills instead of or along with DNR (do not resuscitate) ones. HOWEVER, because everyone expects the death slaps, they no longer have the desired effect. Getting slapped is just a natural part of dying, now, but it accomplishes nothing .Like with all cultural junk, the origin eventually slips away, and the knowledge of WHY we slap the dying is esoteric at best. .1, however, remember, and haunt hospitals for centuries, laughing because everybody's gettin' slapped. Thank you for your time spiritualwarriorofdestruction What the fuck man a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Excuse me, do you have a better idea? The ghost slapper
Save
Alive, Bailey Jay, and Click: reedsy How to Writea Query Letter 15 stn A one-page note that will make agents fall in love at first sight Subject: Query for David - One for the Road: a thriller Jenny Writes <jenny.writes@reedsy.com> Best Literary Agency<submissions@bestlitagency.com> From: O: Mention the agent's name in the subject line Provide context for your book, e.g. "a thriller" Use the correct submission address GREETING AND INTRODUCTION Keep the intro short! A sentence or two will do the trick Don't misspell the agent's name! Mention any personal connection you have to the agent, or Include a referral from authors or industry insiders "Dear Mr Jenkins, My name is Jenny Writes. I am seeking representation for my debut thriller novel, One for the Road..." THE HOOK AND SYNOPSIS Write an irresistible 'elevator pitch,' condensing the spirit of your book into a few sentences. LI Give a taste of the story, genre, and your flair for writing Introduce your main characters Establish the central conflict What differentiates your book from others in the genre? Leave the agent wanting to find out more Keep the hook and synopsis under 200 words "Dr Clara Fortune is Seattle's greatest surgeon: a rising star, loved by her patients. During a groundbreaking procedure, she realizes that she once met her patient during her "dark days" in Afghanistan. If he makes it out of the surgery alive, this man could threaten everything Clara holds dear..." reedsyhq: Click the link to view the full infographic: http://bit.ly/2yO0kwhAre you looking for an agent to represent your latest book? Read our latest blog post on “How to Write a Query Letter in 7 Steps” for strategic tips!

reedsyhq: Click the link to view the full infographic: http://bit.ly/2yO0kwhAre you looking for an agent to represent your latest book? Rea...

Save
Advice, Bitch, and Crazy: totallynotmisha:2002bape: YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS. please read this whole thing.
Save
Save
America, Empire, and Fire: borkyno i see all these british memes and i think we need to make a list of american memes flo from progressive .the midwest .how big is alaska . jeopardy review games spIRIT WEEK ukuleleblake jake from statefarm marauderstrio it's not car insurance, it's al state "mayhem is coming "nothing could replace brad - kahoot its stuckyinmy heacd BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL . thanks obama . idk my bff jil kids who take kic kball way to seriously HI, BILLY MAYS HERE target [t-are--ey] . texas threatening to move to Canada iny-bubble Shirley temple DVD sef IT MAKES MY PATIO 20 DEGREES COOLERI aphprussia making fun of east coastsouth when they cant handle snow . i ts a pillow its a pet its a piLLOW PET stopfrnkiero2k15 CALL J.G. WENTWORTH, 877 CASH NOW thatoneartyishperson 800-588-2300 empire (today) really annoying geico commercials what-thehale e ch-ch-ch-ch-chia California's drought now YOU have a friend in the diamond business-Shane Co. the-perks-ofbeing-a-wallmaster Call now for the Midnight Fire Collection SUNSETTER RETRACTABLE AWNINGS ARE MADE IN AMERICA Everything about that Tony Chopper commercial thing rohxez It's my money and I want it NOW The Generals insurance whovianthatissherlocked Educ ation connection trans-sweden hi, im sarah mc lachlan.. "in the aaarms of the aaaangels classicalphan save money, live better, Wal-Mart itty bitty zimmermann Attention: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entrled to financial compensation. starry-nightengale TS "LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS frickmyrick are you tired of this happening to you? THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY! thewhisperingescapes ANIMAL CRACKERS IN MY SOUP stripedroxy HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD FLORIDA MAN 156,766 notes American Memes

American Memes

Save
Save