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Anaconda, Ass, and Creepy: Ladies,İf you don't want toget rapedbya cop then follow the law in the first pace so you dont get pulled over." OK Patrol Captain George Brow plunderpuss: tallulah99: datiek: popping-smoke: mbisthegame: oparnoshoshoi: anarchyandacupofcoffee: OK Highway Patrol Captain George Brown says the best “tip” for women to not get raped by a cop is to “follow the law in the first place so you don’t get pulled over.”http://youtu.be/BO8g8akPWcY (Last third of the video). Three serial rapists in 3 weeks arrested in Oklahoma, all cops. Follow for Anarchy | Follow for Feminism Pro tip: if you’re signaled to pull over (whether you’re male or female) and you’re in a place that has no witnesses, turn your hazard lights on to acknowledge the officer’s siren, and drive to the nearest gas station or populated area. This is accepted protocol by every agency. You are not obligated pull over until you can do so safely. This includes personal safety. Understand your rights, brothers and sisters. There are disgusting examples of authority in this world. HAZARD LIGHTS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. IT IS NOT ACCEPTED PROTOCOL BY EVERY AGENCY. DO NOT JUST CONTINUE DRIVING WITH YOUR HAZARD LIGHTS IN CASE THE COP MIGHT THINK IT’S A LOW-SPEED CHASE. I know that sounds dumb, but hear me out. My mother is a dispatcher for the local police station. I asked her about how to pull over for a cop and even brought up the use of hazard lights, and she told me that it is not always accepted. This is what she told me you can do in order to feel safe when pulling over: Call the police. No, really. Call and tell the dispatcher where you are and that there is a cop behind you demanding you pull over. The dispatcher can and will stay on the line with you while they look up the area you’re in to see if it’s one of their station’s cops. Then, once the cop comes to your window, you can crack it open (it only has to be an inch!) while still on the phone with the dispatcher. This is definitely, 100% accepted protocol. The dispatcher will verify that it is their own, real cop, and they will gladly stay on the line with you throughout your interaction with the officer. And God forbid this ever happens to any of you, but if something were to happen to you during this time, you’ve already contacted 911 and given your location to the dispatcher. Please keep this in mind if you are ever requested to pull over and do not feel safe. The dispatcher will understand. Do not, however, continue to drive, because there might be the off-chance an officer will think you’re flat-out refusing to pull over (a well-lit, populated area might be a ways away). Stay safe. Signal boost. Because I personally know some creepy ass mother fuckers who became cops because they’re demented psychopaths and they get off on having control over people. In light of current bullshit, this might be a good idea for a LOT of people, not just women. Marginalized minorities of all stripes, take note. I hate taking up an emergency dispatcher’s resources, but i also hate seeing yet another fucked up news story about police harming citizens.
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Animals, Family, and Food: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: eroomseluj: daggerxiv: oakenbabes: sammiwolfe: pilgrimstateofmind: ATTENTION FOR A SECOND, YO: Real talk, this animal (the Ordovician Helmet crab, aka the Horseshoe crab, aka the Atlantic’s most at-risk shelled animal) is of a species that is close to 450 million years old. They are considered endangered, and often wash up on the shores of Long Island (this big lady crab was at TR park in Oyster Bay)Note: these animals are often used to extract their blue blood and cure diseases. They help the ocean out big time. And they are one of the longest-surviving species on the planet. They’re washing up and people don’t think to/are scared to save them because of their deceivingly harmless barbs. Take note, friends. Their barbs are NOT stingers. They cannot hurt you. Their pinchers aren’t pinchers, they’re just little legs that are actually really soft! The barb tail they have is actually what they use to stick into the ocean floor or the sand when waves knock them over or they flip onto their backs by accident. And you can help them out by flipping them back over very quickly and helping them scuttle back into the water if you see them struggling. This is way important. Just call me the Sarah McLachlan of horseshoe crabs. Hey everyone, as someone who grew up with horseshoe crabs literally everywhere I’d like to bring your attention to these fine, prehistoric bottom-feeders. Growing up in Gerritsen Beach (In Brooklyn, NY) meant seeing dozens upon dozens of horseshoe crabs trapped in fishing lines and shredded sandbags, stuck above the high-tide marks during low tide, and sometimes washed up on the rocks. Which led to probably hundreds of hours cutting them loose every summer during the mating seasons. Horseshoe crabs are 10000% harmless to you and can be easily handled (just don’t dangle them from their tails (known as a telson); that’s painful and you may accidentally rip the tail off and they’ll have to wait until their next molt to grow a new one!). If you see a horseshoe crab on the beach, gently nudge it with your foot. Most of them will respond by waving their telson around. If it doesn’t respond, flip it over to check for moving limbs. If you suspect it is tangled and can’t move and you can’t bring it straight to the water because of this get a bucket of sea water and slowly pour it over the book gills and legs. As you work to untangle these rad critters, which are actually more closely related to spiders than crabs, pour more water over it periodically until you can return it to the ocean. However, during the mating season horseshoe crabs will attach together, with the large female toting around a smaller male behind her, and bury themselves in sand and mud to lay their eggs. Do not dig up these horseshoe crabs unless you are absolutely sure that they are stuck above the high tide mark. If you see dozens of beached horseshoe crabs but none of them are clinging together and the tide is going out, please do your part and turn them back in the direction of the water. Place them at the water’s edge and let them decide which direction they want to go in to be absolutely sure that they aren’t stranded accidentally. Horseshoe crabs cannot bite you, and their “pincers” are really just for picking up food and don’t hurt if they try to grab you. They may be a little intimidating-looking but they are harmless and will be grateful for your help. Just look at all those friendly legs waiting to tickle you in thanks for helping them not die a slow death of baking in the sun and getting eaten by gulls and other sea birds! Please, protect our bottom feeding horseshoe crabs at all costs. Yes their blood has important medicinal value, being copper-based unlike our iron-based blood, but overharvesting them can have devastating effects on our underwater ecosystems. When being harvested for blood they should actually be returned to the ocean after taking a little, rather than bled dry PLEASE ALSO KNOW THAT IT’S ACTUALLY A REALLY BIG DEAL IF A HORSESHOE CRAB’S TELSON IS RIPPED OFF AND THEY WILL MOST LIKELY DIE IF THAT HAPPENS!!! SO PLEASE NEVER GRAB ANYWHERE NEAR THERE IF YOU’RE TRYING TO RETURN THEM TO THE SEA. Please help the horseshoe crab at all costs Dat trilobite. I was born and bred on Long Island (specifically on the North Shore) and have probably seen more of these than my actual family. I’ve also seen people who thinks it’s hilarious to legit just stomp on them. Don’t fucking do that. Flip them the fuck over. Put them back in the fucking water. Pick them up correctly. Don’t be a twat. Hella. Please help them get back in the sea if you find one please do a kind thing for a good animal <3
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Batman, Crazy, and Friends: 21 Creative Ways To Drive Someone Crazy Discreetly 1. The penny trick works great. Start by leaving a penny on yours friends desk, chair, coat pocket, you know, places where you would expect to find a penny. Leave one a day for a while varying the locations. Then start leaving them in shoes. Socks. Bed. Pillow case. At first they will ignore the penny but will bug them. Took my roommate 3 weeks until he stroked out one night after finding a penny recommend this. Drives them mad. embedded in his bar of soap. I highly towards her roommate. She used to eat all the berries out of Kellog's Red Berries cereal but leave a small amount enough so she thought 3. Whilst my friend and co-worker took a break one day I plugged a wireless mouse into the back of his computer. For the past two weeks I occasionally jog the mouse, and he's slowly bring driven insane by it. 4. Guy at work was complaining that his spoons were slowly disappearing from the lunch room. He had brought 6 to work and he was down to 2. Everyone else in his lab hatched this plan: every time someone sent him an email, at the bottom, in white text (i.e. would write "SPOON SPOON SPOON SPOON SPOON SPOON SPOON". We all did this for several weeks (he had a gmail account) and that's when he started losing his mind: every website he visited had ads for spoons and his 5. Try to open a bag of chips quietly, for an hour. 6. Smile all the time. 7. When you're talking to one of your friends or somebody you know, always stand just a little too close, or a little too far away. 8. Mail them three pink ping pong balls every day with no explanation or return address, do this for years, then one day send them a single green one, and stop. 9. I went out and bought six interior left hand doors. All of our interior doors were right handed. I cut plugs to fill the strike-plate & hinge mortises, and every few weeks I change out a door or two, right hands for left, left for right. It only takes about twenty minutes now pull the door, plug the mortises, spackle the plug seam, chisel the plug from the opposite side, hang the opposite door and sweep up. painted the first few times, but it's a white jamb and I decided the paint smell was more E suspicious than the unpainted spackle. It's a thin seam, and my wife wouldn't even know where to look. She's never said anything about it, but I've seen her grasp the air where a doorknob used to be a hundred times. 10. sing the Batman theme song (Na na na na) over and over but never say the Batman part. You build everyone up for it and it's just not therel 11. If you know somebody that has a house phone and uses it daily, or someone at the office with one, every day get in early, and take it apart and add one penny. Repeat this for months on end until it is a lot heavier than it used to be. Then, one day, take all of the pennies out and laugh as they smack themselves in the face with the phone. 12. Change the internet explorer icon to the icon 13. Every time their sports team loses, tie a red balloon to their car. Over time, the stimulus of the red balloon will become attached to the sadness of their team losing in their psyche. Then, simply show them a red balloon to reduce them to tears. 14. Repeat the last two words of their sentence 15. Ispent a whole day crinkling a disposable water bottle every time I took a sip. Not crushing it, just a little crinkle. It caused a minor freak out at about 2 in the afternoon. 16. Take their iPod and replace all of their songs with the Kidz Bop version. 17. When you are talking to someone, keep looking at one, specific spot on their face, like a side of their nose or something. Don't stare at it all the time, but enough. If they ask if there's something on their face, act like you don't know what they are talking about. It doesn't take that long when they can't remember what they were talking about. 18. Step 1.) Become an excellent pickpocket. Step 2.) Specialize in placing things into Step 3.) Place strange things into their pockets e no one is 19. While walking outside in a crowded area, start looking up in the sky, shade with your hand, point upwards and whisper something to whoever you walk with. Then take note how trying to figure out what you just saw in the sky. many other people will spend some t 20. Never finish your 21. Sew someone's sleeve button a little closer every few weeks so the person feels like their Want to drive someone crazy?

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Boner, Comfortable, and Curving: melswag69 dontkillbirds 40,849 FedEx dontkillbirds miau-is-me luvr4photography radiogrimshaw annathemoony soupnbananaz littleartemis radiogrimshaw radiogrimshaw ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm i know there are some writers who follow me please take note I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he's heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can't fit in a vagina. So writers, take note. jesus h. christ I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn't really think about that/blamed me for being "tiny," what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches Of course, a lady's Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you're patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don't mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn't so bendy, would be another story entirely. So if you're shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn't into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it's better in theory than it is in practice This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks do not give. Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you. ive learned a lot today omg i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this #huge dicks are like communism Dicksadvice-animal.tumblr.com
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Boner, Comfortable, and Curving: melswag69dontkillbirds+ 40,849IC dontkillbirds adiogrimshaw upnbanan littleartemis adiogrimshaw ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm i know there are some writers who follow me please take note I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he's heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can't fit in a vagina So writers, take note iesus h. christ I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn't really think about that/blamed me for being "tiny," what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches Of course, a lady's Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you're patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don't mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn't so bendy, would be another story entirely So if you're shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn't into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it's better in theory than it is in practice This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you ive learned a lot today omg i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this hu mun Dicksomg-humor.tumblr.com
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