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death-limes: venipede: osteophagy: endcetaceanexploitation: Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language. One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation: “People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing “MY BABY DIED.” Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed “CRY”, touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences.“ [23] Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age. more about Washoe: after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.” the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him. *information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson. Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could. now if y'all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face : did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com Michael the gorilla was taught sign language by Koko, the first signing gorilla. He began signing "Squash meat gorilla. Mouth tooth Cry sharp-noise loud. Bad think-trouble look- face. Cut/neck lip (girl) hole." Researchers believed this was a description of the poaching death of his mother. did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com Cohen Gi n facebook.com/didyouknowblog death-limes: venipede: osteophagy: endcetaceanexploitation: Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language. One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation: “People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing “MY BABY DIED.” Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed “CRY”, touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences.“ [23] Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age. more about Washoe: after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.” the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him. *information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson. Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could. now if y'all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face
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death-limes: venipede: osteophagy: endcetaceanexploitation: Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language. One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation: “People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing “MY BABY DIED.” Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed “CRY”, touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences.“ [23] Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age. more about Washoe: after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.” the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him. *information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson. Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could. now if y'all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face : did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com Michael the gorilla was taught sign language by Koko, the first signing gorilla. He began signing "Squash meat gorilla. Mouth tooth Cry sharp-noise loud. Bad think-trouble look- face. Cut/neck lip (girl) hole." Researchers believed this was a description of the poaching death of his mother. did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com Cohen Gi n facebook.com/didyouknowblog death-limes: venipede: osteophagy: endcetaceanexploitation: Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language. One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation: “People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing “MY BABY DIED.” Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed “CRY”, touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences.“ [23] Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age. more about Washoe: after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.” the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him. *information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson. Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could. now if y'all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face
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misshammett: I was tagged for a selfie by @bridgesinthesky @quasarior @tarinya-quinn @crypt-of-stars @gipsyspirits @paradoxoftheflame and @victoria-krueger I’ve been pretty busy and stressed lately, so I haven’t taken any recent selfies, have one from last year. I’ll tag @lafemmedemon @wolves-of-the-flame @odinswarhorse @daughterofthestorm @scottydoeskn0w @lorenaangelia @bigtitsandmoshpits @aealoarcturus @satanhastetanus @lunar-leviathans @twin-salopian @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @orthar-the-tooth-collector @walk-among-us @the-secret-ginger @iydkmigthtky @my-sxe-world @gingermetaljesus @976-evil @riddare-av-sorg @volheimdallr @blackmetalbarbiedoll @rust-dust-and-guts @valhallstruevalkyrie @kittenmik @ruxandravalkyrie @bootyofdarkness @twerkhammett @highkingofskyrim @geekymetalhead @beardowulf @kawaiichurchburner @macabremusings @xochitl-metal @hell–hammer @rileywasyes @somethingkvlt @brainlessmvtant @night-witch-of-the-butts @gabibakos @bloodofheroes @wonderinghobbit @wang–dang–sweet–poontang @ohschistitsageologist @lazerheart @opeths and @black-metal-hermit: misshammett: I was tagged for a selfie by @bridgesinthesky @quasarior @tarinya-quinn @crypt-of-stars @gipsyspirits @paradoxoftheflame and @victoria-krueger I’ve been pretty busy and stressed lately, so I haven’t taken any recent selfies, have one from last year. I’ll tag @lafemmedemon @wolves-of-the-flame @odinswarhorse @daughterofthestorm @scottydoeskn0w @lorenaangelia @bigtitsandmoshpits @aealoarcturus @satanhastetanus @lunar-leviathans @twin-salopian @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @orthar-the-tooth-collector @walk-among-us @the-secret-ginger @iydkmigthtky @my-sxe-world @gingermetaljesus @976-evil @riddare-av-sorg @volheimdallr @blackmetalbarbiedoll @rust-dust-and-guts @valhallstruevalkyrie @kittenmik @ruxandravalkyrie @bootyofdarkness @twerkhammett @highkingofskyrim @geekymetalhead @beardowulf @kawaiichurchburner @macabremusings @xochitl-metal @hell–hammer @rileywasyes @somethingkvlt @brainlessmvtant @night-witch-of-the-butts @gabibakos @bloodofheroes @wonderinghobbit @wang–dang–sweet–poontang @ohschistitsageologist @lazerheart @opeths and @black-metal-hermit
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misshammett: I was tagged for a selfie by @beardowulf @vandathielnir @lafemmedemon amnd @kitty-blues These are from a couple days ago, but I was impressed with how my eyeliner turned out despite it being pretty dry and shitty when I applied it. I’ll tag @bridgesinthesky @as-cold-as-her-sorrow @blacklightguidesyou @macabremusings @wonderinghobbit @kittenmik @my-sxe-world @kvtie-pie @976-evil @scarsoftheshatteredsky @daughterofthestorm @medusas-grave @gingermetaljesus @rileywasyes @walk-among-us @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @lorenaangelia @poetrypirate @spice-ghouls @bierserker @lothloriennes @dead-piscean @honey-i-shot-the-kids @filakterium @kvlt-cvnt @brainlessmvtant @lunar-leviathans @victoria-krueger @ruxandravalkyrie @punkpayton @medusastears @into-solitude @ashesofthepaleserpent @theevildana @wrestlethedevil @orthar-the-tooth-collector @insidethechaosphere @iydkmigthtky @metal-kitten @aleksandroskaya @kidzbopdeathmetal @bigtitsandmoshpits @bootyofdarkness : misshammett: I was tagged for a selfie by @beardowulf @vandathielnir @lafemmedemon amnd @kitty-blues These are from a couple days ago, but I was impressed with how my eyeliner turned out despite it being pretty dry and shitty when I applied it. I’ll tag @bridgesinthesky @as-cold-as-her-sorrow @blacklightguidesyou @macabremusings @wonderinghobbit @kittenmik @my-sxe-world @kvtie-pie @976-evil @scarsoftheshatteredsky @daughterofthestorm @medusas-grave @gingermetaljesus @rileywasyes @walk-among-us @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @lorenaangelia @poetrypirate @spice-ghouls @bierserker @lothloriennes @dead-piscean @honey-i-shot-the-kids @filakterium @kvlt-cvnt @brainlessmvtant @lunar-leviathans @victoria-krueger @ruxandravalkyrie @punkpayton @medusastears @into-solitude @ashesofthepaleserpent @theevildana @wrestlethedevil @orthar-the-tooth-collector @insidethechaosphere @iydkmigthtky @metal-kitten @aleksandroskaya @kidzbopdeathmetal @bigtitsandmoshpits @bootyofdarkness
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morbidmacabremin: I am pleased to announce that two absolutely gorgeous people @ct-noxia and @lafemmedemon tagged me to post a selfie. So I decided to post 2 pictures for 2 amazing people. 🖤🖤 Im going to tag a lot of people, because y'all are wonderful and I love seeing you guys! If you feel uncomfortable posting pictures, its all good. I just hope you have a good day (^_^) @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @im-a-witch-you-little-bitch @rust-dust-and-guts @ohlucybear @angelic-morbidity @countlugosi @satanic-rituals @bizzyfish @red-blackwerewolf @whispers-of-a-rose @wolves-of-the-flame @unchain-the-wolves @trussmedvddi @nightmaretoremember94 @fakegothgf @lilithlovegood @itsyagurlsatan @lost-in-own-mind @ragnardaddy @orthar-the-tooth-collector @ultimategeekboy @ryhartley @unicornfetus1998 @taralovesalot @memoirs-of-a-madman @valhallstruevalkyrie @odinswarhorse @satanswidow @macabremusings 🖤: morbidmacabremin: I am pleased to announce that two absolutely gorgeous people @ct-noxia and @lafemmedemon tagged me to post a selfie. So I decided to post 2 pictures for 2 amazing people. 🖤🖤 Im going to tag a lot of people, because y'all are wonderful and I love seeing you guys! If you feel uncomfortable posting pictures, its all good. I just hope you have a good day (^_^) @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @im-a-witch-you-little-bitch @rust-dust-and-guts @ohlucybear @angelic-morbidity @countlugosi @satanic-rituals @bizzyfish @red-blackwerewolf @whispers-of-a-rose @wolves-of-the-flame @unchain-the-wolves @trussmedvddi @nightmaretoremember94 @fakegothgf @lilithlovegood @itsyagurlsatan @lost-in-own-mind @ragnardaddy @orthar-the-tooth-collector @ultimategeekboy @ryhartley @unicornfetus1998 @taralovesalot @memoirs-of-a-madman @valhallstruevalkyrie @odinswarhorse @satanswidow @macabremusings 🖤
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lafemmedemon: Did somebody order a hella pouty goth gf, extra Thicc™️? 🦇 I’ve been tagged by @odinswarhorse and @innerdaemmon! Thank you, gentlemen. I’m tagging y’all back as well as @adorned-in-ashes, @aleksandroskaya, @ashesofthepaleserpent, @beardowulf, @bierserker, @blackfemalemetalhead, @bloodofheroes, @born-in-a-cemetery, @brainlessmvtant, @brightbeautifulbrilliance, @daughterofthestorm, @elixmia, @eloquent-cabbage, @ensomsjel, @femme-nietzsche, @filakterium, @gipsyspirits, @goodbye-to-gravity, @goona, @kidzbopdeathmetal, @lorahardt, @lothloriennes, @misshammett, @my-sxe-world, @ohschistitsageologist, @orthar-the-tooth-collector, @postorganichallucinations, @quasarior, @rust-dust-and-guts, @scarsoftheshatteredsky, @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead, @sophiethesophist, @tarinya-quinn, @thatedckid, @theashenone (it still won’t let me tag you, but hopefully, you’ll see it and know you’re tagged), @themoontime, @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal, @torrents-of-alabia, @twerkhammett, @type-ho-negative, @varunadrums, @victoria-krueger, @viking-badger, @volheimdallr, @wolves-of-the-flame, @wrestlethedevil, and @yggdrasill–. I put everybody in alphabetical order so that Di and Tanya don’t have another fight for dominance, and I know I forgot some people whether due to URL changes or simply not remembering everybody’s URL, but I’m writing them down so I don’t forget next time! Love y’all!: lafemmedemon: Did somebody order a hella pouty goth gf, extra Thicc™️? 🦇 I’ve been tagged by @odinswarhorse and @innerdaemmon! Thank you, gentlemen. I’m tagging y’all back as well as @adorned-in-ashes, @aleksandroskaya, @ashesofthepaleserpent, @beardowulf, @bierserker, @blackfemalemetalhead, @bloodofheroes, @born-in-a-cemetery, @brainlessmvtant, @brightbeautifulbrilliance, @daughterofthestorm, @elixmia, @eloquent-cabbage, @ensomsjel, @femme-nietzsche, @filakterium, @gipsyspirits, @goodbye-to-gravity, @goona, @kidzbopdeathmetal, @lorahardt, @lothloriennes, @misshammett, @my-sxe-world, @ohschistitsageologist, @orthar-the-tooth-collector, @postorganichallucinations, @quasarior, @rust-dust-and-guts, @scarsoftheshatteredsky, @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead, @sophiethesophist, @tarinya-quinn, @thatedckid, @theashenone (it still won’t let me tag you, but hopefully, you’ll see it and know you’re tagged), @themoontime, @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal, @torrents-of-alabia, @twerkhammett, @type-ho-negative, @varunadrums, @victoria-krueger, @viking-badger, @volheimdallr, @wolves-of-the-flame, @wrestlethedevil, and @yggdrasill–. I put everybody in alphabetical order so that Di and Tanya don’t have another fight for dominance, and I know I forgot some people whether due to URL changes or simply not remembering everybody’s URL, but I’m writing them down so I don’t forget next time! Love y’all!
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sophygurl: optais-amme: 10 Things Food Banks Need But Won’t Ask For Some items are in high demand at the food bank and you may not realize it. Because they aren’t essentials, the staff doesn’t publicly ask for them. A survey asked volunteers what items people would be most appreciative of and we’ve listed the top 10 below. If you’re looking for an easy way to help out, pick some of these up while shopping and drop them off at one of our area food banks. 1. Spices. Think about it. People who rely on the food bank eat a lot of canned food, rice, oatmeal, white bread, etc. They love spices. Seasoned salt, cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, oregano, basil and so on. 2. Feminine Products. Can you imagine being worried about affording these? Pads, tampons, panty liners, etc. Recommended: Buy in bulk at Costco for donating. 3. Chocolate. People don’t need it, but think about being in their shoes and how nice it would be to be given a chocolate bar or brownie mix along with your essentials. 4. Toiletries. Grocery stores are great about donating surplus or unsold food, but they have no reason to donate toilet paper, tooth paste, soap, deodorant, shampoo, etc. Food stamps often don’t cover these. 5. Canned meats and jerky. This isn’t true of all food banks, but some struggle to give users enough protein. 6. Crackers and tortillas. They don’t spoil and everybody likes them. 7. Baby toiletries. Diapers, baby wipes, baby formula, baby shampoo, baby soap, baby food, bottles, etc. 8. Soup packets. Sometimes you look at rice, beans, instant potatoes, and cans of vegetable and think, “What do I make with this?” Hearty soup is a complete meal. 9. Socks. From a former homeless person: “Socks mean the world to you. They keep you warm, make you feel like you have something new, and just comfort you.” 10. Canned fruit other than pineapple. Food banks get a lot of pineapple donated. Their clients love it when other kinds of fruit are available. [SOURCE] And remember! Food banks love cash donations because it allows them to buy whatever they need! As a sometimes food pantry user myself and with friends who rely on them to varying degrees - I want to specifically stress some of these:  - non-food items like tp and feminine products and baby needs are SO incredibly important because 1) they are rarely donated, 2) people who have food stamps can often afford their food staples but might still need help with toiletries and cleaning items, and 3) folks who are homeless especially need that kinda stuff!  - treats! Like, yes of course, if I am in need I am appreciative of canned goods and rice and pasta and stuff. That’s great for putting together healthy meals. But everyone needs a treat once in awhile - so when there is candy or chips or a nice expensive brand of organic something or other available at the pantry - it is just so incredibly exciting. It can be a humiliating experience to visit a pantry, and it can make you feel very much less than. So to get a treat of some sort just really really makes a difference. And believe me - there are enough loaves of bread, cans of fruit, and dried beans to go around at these places. You won’t be starving someone by donating some microwave popcorn or chocolate chips now and again. I promise! : TABATCHNICK TABATCHNICK Crean of Musbroom Mushroom SOUP SOUP TABATCHNICK 2 Cream of Musbroom SOUP ION sophygurl: optais-amme: 10 Things Food Banks Need But Won’t Ask For Some items are in high demand at the food bank and you may not realize it. Because they aren’t essentials, the staff doesn’t publicly ask for them. A survey asked volunteers what items people would be most appreciative of and we’ve listed the top 10 below. If you’re looking for an easy way to help out, pick some of these up while shopping and drop them off at one of our area food banks. 1. Spices. Think about it. People who rely on the food bank eat a lot of canned food, rice, oatmeal, white bread, etc. They love spices. Seasoned salt, cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, oregano, basil and so on. 2. Feminine Products. Can you imagine being worried about affording these? Pads, tampons, panty liners, etc. Recommended: Buy in bulk at Costco for donating. 3. Chocolate. People don’t need it, but think about being in their shoes and how nice it would be to be given a chocolate bar or brownie mix along with your essentials. 4. Toiletries. Grocery stores are great about donating surplus or unsold food, but they have no reason to donate toilet paper, tooth paste, soap, deodorant, shampoo, etc. Food stamps often don’t cover these. 5. Canned meats and jerky. This isn’t true of all food banks, but some struggle to give users enough protein. 6. Crackers and tortillas. They don’t spoil and everybody likes them. 7. Baby toiletries. Diapers, baby wipes, baby formula, baby shampoo, baby soap, baby food, bottles, etc. 8. Soup packets. Sometimes you look at rice, beans, instant potatoes, and cans of vegetable and think, “What do I make with this?” Hearty soup is a complete meal. 9. Socks. From a former homeless person: “Socks mean the world to you. They keep you warm, make you feel like you have something new, and just comfort you.” 10. Canned fruit other than pineapple. Food banks get a lot of pineapple donated. Their clients love it when other kinds of fruit are available. [SOURCE] And remember! Food banks love cash donations because it allows them to buy whatever they need! As a sometimes food pantry user myself and with friends who rely on them to varying degrees - I want to specifically stress some of these:  - non-food items like tp and feminine products and baby needs are SO incredibly important because 1) they are rarely donated, 2) people who have food stamps can often afford their food staples but might still need help with toiletries and cleaning items, and 3) folks who are homeless especially need that kinda stuff!  - treats! Like, yes of course, if I am in need I am appreciative of canned goods and rice and pasta and stuff. That’s great for putting together healthy meals. But everyone needs a treat once in awhile - so when there is candy or chips or a nice expensive brand of organic something or other available at the pantry - it is just so incredibly exciting. It can be a humiliating experience to visit a pantry, and it can make you feel very much less than. So to get a treat of some sort just really really makes a difference. And believe me - there are enough loaves of bread, cans of fruit, and dried beans to go around at these places. You won’t be starving someone by donating some microwave popcorn or chocolate chips now and again. I promise!

sophygurl: optais-amme: 10 Things Food Banks Need But Won’t Ask For Some items are in high demand at the food bank and you may not real...

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Hahah made me LOL for real guys hhaha: What joke will make one burst into laughter for at least 30 seconds? DO NOT TELL A PERSONAL STORY A joke" should be the classic meaning of a joke (with a punchline, etc.) More Emmanuel Gautier, I have a weird laugh Written Thu Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, and notices a big jar full of money behind the counter. He asks the bartender, "Hey man, what's that jar? I bet there's at least one grand in there!" "Ah, you must be new here. It's a challenge. If you put in fifty bucks, and then succeed at three tasks, you get all the money inside the jar." "Really? Man, what a tourist trap! Do people actually try that?" "Sure." "Damn. Stil, that's a lot of money. I gotta ask, what are the three tasks?" "Well, first, you need to go over to the bouncer over there. Yeah, the tall, muscular guy. And you gotta knock him out in one punch. Wow." "Yeah. Next, in the backyard we have this wild rottweiler. Nasty dog. Rabid. And it has a bad tooth. We tried having the vet over, but he won't come anywhere near the beast. The task is to take out his bad tooth "Uh huh." "And finally, there's this lady upstairs. She owns the place. She's quite old. Sixty five, maybe seventy. Very nice lady. She lost her husband a decade ago and, well.. she's lonely. The task is to go see her and give her some." "That is twisted, my friend. Wow. It's amazing that anyone thinks they can pull all this off. People these days... Anyway.'" The guy drinks his beer, and then has another. And another. And another. Now quite inebriated, he punches the counter and yells, "Whatever man, I'll do your stupid challenge!" He throws in a $50 bill, goes to the bouncer, taps him on the shoulder, and WHAM! The bouncer is down in one punch. Everyone in the bar suddenly groups around the scene and starts cheering frantically. The guy shouts, "Where's the damn dog at?", people push him to the backdoor, which he pushes. The crowd awaits, hearing nothing at first Then, muffled screams, punches, scratches and howls coming from behind the door Finally, the door opens again, and the guy paces into the bar, slowly, his shirt ripped apart and stained with blood, breathing loudly. Finally, he throws his arms up in the air, and shouts in triumph! As the crowd cheers like crazy, he yells "NOW WHERE'S THE OLD BITCH WITH THE BAD TOOTH?" 48.9k Views View Upvotes Hahah made me LOL for real guys hhaha
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victoria-krueger: Tagged for a selfie by the adorable @brainlessmvtant and the awesome @odinswarhorse :)Have an oldie but a goodie bc I’m still looking and feeling shitty and smiling photos of me are rare.A lot of people are gonna get tagged. I wanna see as many of your lovely faces as possible ^.^ Don’t feel as though you have to post though. Here goes: @thequintasticone @macabregoddess @vincentlockedheart @jplovecraft @chainsawhands @postorganichallucinations @for-caos @gothichorrorandmore @scottydoeskn0w @welcome-to-the-dark-circus @bigtitsandmoshpits @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @orthar-the-tooth-collector @lungs-of-hell @the-fear-inside-our-bones @whispers-of-a-rose @torrents-of-alabia @rust-dust-and-guts @beardowulf @goona @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @goodbye-to-gravity @friv-vy @opeths @dropxthexbeat @all-together-run-for-cover @closed-casket @neferukaen @walk-among-us @si3rra-xox @catacombhecatomb @sinkingintothevoid @misshammett @insilenceenshrined @lafemmedemon @thatblackbat @naarassusi92 @crypt-of-stars @ultimategeekboy @mouth-of-leviathan @rubyshade @cnatab @nightsong18 @medusas-grave @thegroanofwind @lothloriennes @my-sxe-world @quakebeats @ohschistitsageologist @rileywasyes @deth-amphetamine @gamergeek322 @princessfart @outdaboxx @ollis-beard @letwhatyoulovekillyouu @yellow-backpack @tarinya-quinn @simonareads @wolves-of-the-flame @carolina-viking @tea-and-serenity @scarsoftheshatteredsky @biotic-banshee @fleshbutt-apocalypse @fatscully @fox–ears @nightmaretoremember94 @haraldrharfagri @tangledb0nes: victoria-krueger: Tagged for a selfie by the adorable @brainlessmvtant and the awesome @odinswarhorse :)Have an oldie but a goodie bc I’m still looking and feeling shitty and smiling photos of me are rare.A lot of people are gonna get tagged. I wanna see as many of your lovely faces as possible ^.^ Don’t feel as though you have to post though. Here goes: @thequintasticone @macabregoddess @vincentlockedheart @jplovecraft @chainsawhands @postorganichallucinations @for-caos @gothichorrorandmore @scottydoeskn0w @welcome-to-the-dark-circus @bigtitsandmoshpits @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @orthar-the-tooth-collector @lungs-of-hell @the-fear-inside-our-bones @whispers-of-a-rose @torrents-of-alabia @rust-dust-and-guts @beardowulf @goona @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @goodbye-to-gravity @friv-vy @opeths @dropxthexbeat @all-together-run-for-cover @closed-casket @neferukaen @walk-among-us @si3rra-xox @catacombhecatomb @sinkingintothevoid @misshammett @insilenceenshrined @lafemmedemon @thatblackbat @naarassusi92 @crypt-of-stars @ultimategeekboy @mouth-of-leviathan @rubyshade @cnatab @nightsong18 @medusas-grave @thegroanofwind @lothloriennes @my-sxe-world @quakebeats @ohschistitsageologist @rileywasyes @deth-amphetamine @gamergeek322 @princessfart @outdaboxx @ollis-beard @letwhatyoulovekillyouu @yellow-backpack @tarinya-quinn @simonareads @wolves-of-the-flame @carolina-viking @tea-and-serenity @scarsoftheshatteredsky @biotic-banshee @fleshbutt-apocalypse @fatscully @fox–ears @nightmaretoremember94 @haraldrharfagri @tangledb0nes
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Toothful: Cash, Rules, Everything, Around, Me C.R. E. A.M Get The Mo ne Dollar, D ollar Bill Y'alI I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side. Staying alive was no jive. At second hands, moms bounced on old men So then we moved to Shaolin land. A young youth, yo rockin the gold tooth, 'Lo goose. Only way, I begin to gee off was drug loot And let's start it like this son, rollin with this one. And that one, pullin out gats for fun. But it was just a dream for the teen, who was a fiend. Started smokin woolies at sixteen. And running up in gates, and doing hits for high stake. Making my way on fire escapes. No question I would speed, for cracks and weed. The combination made my eyes bleed. No question I would flow off, and try to get the dough all. Sticking up white boys in ball courts. My life got no better, same damn 'Lo sweater. Times is ruff and tuff like leather Figured out I went the wrong route. So I got with a sick ass click and went all out. Catchin keys from across seas. Rollin in MPVs every week we made forty G's. Yo nigga respect mine, or anger the tech nine. Ch-chick-POW! Move from the gate now It's been twenty-two long hard years of still strugglin. Survival got me Jakes givin chase sellin base. Smokin bones in the staircase. Though I buggin, but I'm alive on arrival. I peep at the shape of the streets. And don't know why I chose to smoke sess. I guess that's the time when stay awake to the ways of the world cause shit is deep. A man with a I'm not depressed. But I'm stil depressed, and I ask what's it worth? dream with plans to make CR. Ε.Α.Μ. which failed; I went to jail at the Ready to give up so I seek the Old Earth. Who explained working hard age of 15. A young buck sellin drugs and such who never had much. may help you maintain. To learn to overcome the heartaches and pain Trying to get a clutch at what I could not.The court played me short, We got stickup kids, corrupt cops, and crack rocks and stray shots, all now I face incarceration. Pacin, going up state's my destination. Hand on the block that stays hot. Leave it up to me while I be living proof. To cuffed in back of a bus, forty of us. Life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff. kick the truth to the young black youth. But shorty's running wild smokin But as the world turns I learned life is hl. Living in the world no sess drinkin beer. And ain't trying to hear what I'm kickin in his ear different from a cell. Everyday I escape from Neglected, but now, but yo, it gots to be accepted.
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death-delirium: My makeup was fucking bomb these past few days, so why not take a couple of pics? Btw I was also tagged for a selfie by these cuties @muscle-in-plastic @scarsoftheshatteredsky @hell–hammer @mouth-of-leviathan @necronomicarrion @misshammett @behemoht @gipsyspirits @orthar-the-tooth-collector @silverstagpotter and a few more, but I can’t remember who. Anyway, thanks y'all! 😊 Tagging: @sty-elz @madamsuicide @sebasura @akasztofaviragpor @cactiflowergirl @quasarior @kvlthulhu @murderous-absolutionx @damage-case @into-solitude @louder-than-love @filakterium @equalityisadirtybitch @volheimdallr @wrestlethedevil @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @themightyhetfield @princessfart @prideandperdition @valhallstruevalkyrie @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @ollis-beard @tarinya-quinn @xochitl-metal@celtic-frosted-flakes : death-delirium: My makeup was fucking bomb these past few days, so why not take a couple of pics? Btw I was also tagged for a selfie by these cuties @muscle-in-plastic @scarsoftheshatteredsky @hell–hammer @mouth-of-leviathan @necronomicarrion @misshammett @behemoht @gipsyspirits @orthar-the-tooth-collector @silverstagpotter and a few more, but I can’t remember who. Anyway, thanks y'all! 😊 Tagging: @sty-elz @madamsuicide @sebasura @akasztofaviragpor @cactiflowergirl @quasarior @kvlthulhu @murderous-absolutionx @damage-case @into-solitude @louder-than-love @filakterium @equalityisadirtybitch @volheimdallr @wrestlethedevil @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @themightyhetfield @princessfart @prideandperdition @valhallstruevalkyrie @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead @ollis-beard @tarinya-quinn @xochitl-metal@celtic-frosted-flakes
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