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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Arguing, Brains, and Crime: Emily of the State @EmilyGorcenski Trump doesn't speak in full, coherent sentences, because he's speaking a different language, one his followers understand but we don't. 2/19/17, 6:51 AM 86 RETWEETS 223 LIKES Emily of the State It's fascinating in a "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" sense. He begins a clause, and @Emily Gorcenski 1h finishes it with nonsense filler words. 2 4 35 Emily of the State But his followers have already used their bias to fill in meaning. @EmilyGorcenski 1h 1 30 Emily of the State "You look at what happened in Sweden last night, they took in large numbers, they're having problems they never though possible." @EmilyGorcenski 1h 구 8 1 20 Emily of the State @EmilyGorcenski 1h This isn't a sentence. It's three sentence fragments strung together that only make sense if you fill in meaning. 구 7 2 32 Emily of the State Sweden didn't take in large numbers of anything the night before, nor did they have problems taking in large numbers. No, @EmilyGorcenski 1h this is innuendo. 1 4 21 Emily of the State And none of us know what it's supposed to mean because we're trying to reconstruct logical sentences, and not filling in with our biases @EmilyGorcenski 1h 구 5 1 20 Emily of the State The sentence makes perfect sense to his followers. A large number of muslim refugees caused problems that the lying media isn't reporting. @EmilyGorcenski 1h 1 5 20 Emily of the State This style of speaking reinforces the biases of the listener, that's why it's so dangerous. We can't treat it as if Obama is speaking Con Law @Emily Gorcenski 1h 2 37 Emily of the State Trump "says it like it is" by saying the first part of a thought and letting the listener fill in the rest. Exactly as it is in their mind. @Emily Gorcenski 1h 27 3 67 fishnbanjos: abbiehollowdays: spoonmeb: itsathought2: everydayjewels: wellthatsjustgreat: A good take on why Trumpkins don’t hear what the rest of us hear when President Trump spews incoherent word salad. Also why I have limited interest in, or energy for, trying to persuade them through rational debate. I have been baffled by this all along - I could not for the life of me imagine what his supporters were hearing when they listened to him babble incoherently. He’s like a political Rorschach’s test. I feel like I’ve had the curtain drawn back.   I realized I do this to him too. I’m always trying to figure out WHAT THE FUCK HE MEANS.  Only because I don’t like him and what he stands for,  I’m actually trying to parse reality from it, so it strikes me as insane.   But if I was predisposed to him, my mind would decide on something that filled out my preconceived expectation.   Humans Brains are so fucking weak and wrong.  If you’ve paid attention to the way racist/generally bigoted white people have talked literally since the dawn of time, this wouldn’t be a surprise to you, but I like the way OT phrased it. But really people often talk like this when they want to say horrible things about other human beings they know they shouldn’t be saying, it’s just with Trump it suddenly matters can’t he’s flushing our country down the toilet. See: the way white people have always talked about the mysterious inner city and the infamous black on black crime. Or just black women in general. There are always unfinished sentences about black people/POC and ya’ll never have trouble completely them in your own heads. It’s like their very own “auto-complete” for searches they know have already been done by their supporters time and time again. By the way, Fox News has been doing a similar version of this for years. A local columnist pointed out that they often ask absolutely ridiculous questions, but because they ask it in question form, they get wiggle room. “Does Obama want to kill your grandparents when they go to the doctor?” Now, the question in itself is open ended, but obviously, you’re set up to believe that, yes, your grandparents will die because of Obama. The onus is on the station to disprove a question like this, but instead they throw a vague, twisted statement out and have two opposing people argue as if both sides of the conversation are equal in value and truth. The subject of the question then the non-clear rebuttal makes the answer seem obvious that Obama is killing your sweet granny and grandpa when they go for a flu shot. I say all this because this network has been grooming their followers to fill in the blanks from vagueness this entire time. Trump just knows how to fill in just enough words to start the thought process down that way. He’s taken what Fox News started and perfected it.
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Africa, Animals, and Be Like: sociallyawkward-jac: stephanyyl: jswander: prokopetz: thecrazydusclopslady: aph-haywood: skypestripper: weloveshortvideos: Hello big boy! ok but honestly? how does this lion not maul the fuck out of him. Lions are huge kittens He’s probably been with these lions for quite a while. The grunting noises the lion makes (or “chuffling” as it’s known as) are his way of saying “hello” to his human friend. Lions have pretty good memories, too, so if the lion was raised as a cub by this dude, it’s very likely he’ll remember him as an adult. And if the lion shows affection to this guy, then his pride will pretty much be like: “Ok he’s cool we’ll love him too”. Plus, social apex predators are generally pretty mellow. It’s the solitary types and the herbivores you’ve gotta watch out for. Especially the latter - large herbivores are assholes. This is Kevin Richardson!! He is a badass and has worked for almost twenty years with a ton of lions like these ones. He has his own unique style of handling the lions where he spends countless man hours with the cats, often hand-rearing them from a very young age. The result is he is an “honorary lion” in several of the prides that he oversees in this park in South Africa. He will often go for walks with them like this, or take naps or be just generally cuddly with the lions to enforce the social bond.  He honestly loves these guys like they’re family, and as a result is able to use the lions in films and adverts in a way that is very low-stress for the animals due to their incredible faith in him. Currently he has a youtube channel where you can see him working with the animals and promoting wildlife conservation and awareness :D! What an absolutely rewarding luxury im jealous
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