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kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.: kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
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poerobots: The first hint that something might be different this time came the morning after the shootings, from a Douglas High School sophomore named Sarah Chadwick, who informed the President of the United States, via his favorite medium, in words that quickly went viral, “I don’t want your condolences you fucking piece of shit, my friends and teachers were shot.”Their grief was raw, their rage palpable. Emma Gonzalez, a senior at Douglas, had the most searing indictment:“The people in the government who were voted into power are lying to us. And us kids seem to be the only ones who notice and are prepared to call B.S.“Companies, trying to make caricatures of the teen-agers nowadays, saying that all we are are self-involved and trend-obsessed and they hush us into submissions when our message doesn’t reach the ears of the nation, we are prepared to call B.S.“Politicians who sit in their gilded House and Senate seats funded by the N.R.A., telling us nothing could ever be done to prevent this: we call B.S.“They say that tougher gun laws do not prevent gun violence: we call B.S.”The crowd was now joining in.“They say a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun: we call B.S.“They say guns are just tools, like knives, and are as dangerous as cars: we call B.S.“They say that no laws would have been able to prevent the hundreds of senseless tragedies that occur: we call B.S.“That us kids don’t know what we’re talking about, that we’re too young to understand how the government works.” The crowd was now in a frenzy of anger and sadness, the people around me were tearing up as they yelled, “We call B.S.”And then, in unison, the people gathered began to chant, “Vote them out, vote them out, vote them out.”– Emily Witt, The New Yorker: poerobots: The first hint that something might be different this time came the morning after the shootings, from a Douglas High School sophomore named Sarah Chadwick, who informed the President of the United States, via his favorite medium, in words that quickly went viral, “I don’t want your condolences you fucking piece of shit, my friends and teachers were shot.”Their grief was raw, their rage palpable. Emma Gonzalez, a senior at Douglas, had the most searing indictment:“The people in the government who were voted into power are lying to us. And us kids seem to be the only ones who notice and are prepared to call B.S.“Companies, trying to make caricatures of the teen-agers nowadays, saying that all we are are self-involved and trend-obsessed and they hush us into submissions when our message doesn’t reach the ears of the nation, we are prepared to call B.S.“Politicians who sit in their gilded House and Senate seats funded by the N.R.A., telling us nothing could ever be done to prevent this: we call B.S.“They say that tougher gun laws do not prevent gun violence: we call B.S.”The crowd was now joining in.“They say a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun: we call B.S.“They say guns are just tools, like knives, and are as dangerous as cars: we call B.S.“They say that no laws would have been able to prevent the hundreds of senseless tragedies that occur: we call B.S.“That us kids don’t know what we’re talking about, that we’re too young to understand how the government works.” The crowd was now in a frenzy of anger and sadness, the people around me were tearing up as they yelled, “We call B.S.”And then, in unison, the people gathered began to chant, “Vote them out, vote them out, vote them out.”– Emily Witt, The New Yorker
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Time to run these poems straight into the ground 😎: smi Today 6:33 PM Like I said, mine usually wind up in poetry. I think this was an outlier for us both tbh Tell u what a write you a poem to help drown out the murderwedding Shakespearean sonnet, limerick, or Dr Seuss style? And then I'd need a topic hmm dr seuss styles seems different i actually don't mind the murder wedding topic Sooo a Dr. Seuss poem about a Because if so, comin' right up Today 719 PM yup. key to my heart right there The church bells ka-klangered with rupturous sound as everyone gathered and crowded The Whofolk of Whoville all smiled with to witness the wedding of woman and boy. We're gathered today, the Lorax Up here on the hill with my favorite tree These two will trade vows, together and then let the murderous bloodshed The man did step forward and proffered and stared in her eyes and was lost for a while. But soon did the moment return him with haste as he reached for pages he'd tucked in his waist My Sally, my love, words cannot the love that I feel in my heart and my brain. The feelings come in in a wondrous flood so I have to have have you to kill in cold I promise you this, my dear Sam I Am, I'd poison your breakfast of green eggs and ham. I meant what I said and I said what I I promise I'll kill you, one hundred The crowd did applaud and gushed out their 'awwws and then did soon fall. and then did soon fall a quite tangible pause The Lorax stepped forward, his face in And now let the murdering bloodfest Horton stomped guests into glittering refusing to listen to screams of a Who He tossed a man up, straight up in the airl And down he did crash through a woody old chair Thing One and Thing Two both did pull and squeezed on the triggers.. oh what such good fun They gunned down the Lorax with rat-a- tat-tat but then came their boss the nefarious Cat He waitzed up to One and did toss his hat free and said "give your gun, you should give it to me!" "I can't give it, Cat.. 'd be a sitting duck!" But the Cat didin't give one flippity-flap- flying fuck. He pushed on a button and watched his machine a horrific titan that loomed over scene Its arms and its gloves all did spin all knocking off heads quite scary no doubt! But then Sam I Am gave and leaped through the air- wow, did a furious roar, He tossed a He tossed a grenade right into Cat's seat and Booml all that lay were two smoking cat feet. All 'cross the field, corpses bled rainbow hues, which pooled up and squished with each step into shoes The bride and the groom were t two to stand and there they embraced, both with blades in their hand he last A flash and a crack, and then both coughed in sync and down to their knees both in unison slinked. As darkness closed in, with stopping of they shared one more kiss... "ill death do us part Today 8:15 PM that was the best thing i've ever read we can get married now i'm ready Time to run these poems straight into the ground 😎
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DO YOU SHIFT TO ONE SIDE WHEN YOU SQUAT? The squat has a lot of moving parts that need to work in unison in order to produce an efficient, stable, and strong motion. There are quite a few common faults I see when 🔎 analyzing technique, and one of the most prevalent is a ↔ side to side shift. An ideal loaded squat will have left to right symmetry between the motions of the ankles, knees, and hips. So if we were to drop a plumb line between the 👣 feet, it would cross straight through the midline of the body. When you shift into one hip or the other, you lose that symmetry at all three joints. For a shift towards the LEFT hip, the resulting biomechanical asymmetries are... . 🔸More hip flexion and ankle dorsiflexion on the left, which can result in a pinch in either joint. 🔸Relative adduction and internal rotation of the left and abduction-external rotation on the right, which can cause hip pain on ether side depending on the shape of your acetabulum and femoral head. 🔸Relative valgus collapse and increased flexion of the left knee, which could be a factor in knee pain on the side of the shift. There are a number of possibilities for why this shift occurs. I like to clear mobility restrictions first, ensuring we have ⚖ even ankle dorsiflexion knee flexion-rotation, and hip flexion-abduction-rotation on both sides. Then we move on to motor control and 🏋 technical proficiency and start grooving the motions to clear muscular imbalances. I have ✌ two drills I use most often to repattern a hip shift, and I'm going to share them both with you later this week! MyodetoxOrlando Myodetox FutureproofYourBody: Balanced squat Left Hip Shift More Hi I Flexion Abduction External Rotation Adduction Internal Rotatio Less Ankle More Ankle Dorsiflexion Dorsiflexion Balanced Ankles, Knees, and Hips dr.Jacob harden DO YOU SHIFT TO ONE SIDE WHEN YOU SQUAT? The squat has a lot of moving parts that need to work in unison in order to produce an efficient, stable, and strong motion. There are quite a few common faults I see when 🔎 analyzing technique, and one of the most prevalent is a ↔ side to side shift. An ideal loaded squat will have left to right symmetry between the motions of the ankles, knees, and hips. So if we were to drop a plumb line between the 👣 feet, it would cross straight through the midline of the body. When you shift into one hip or the other, you lose that symmetry at all three joints. For a shift towards the LEFT hip, the resulting biomechanical asymmetries are... . 🔸More hip flexion and ankle dorsiflexion on the left, which can result in a pinch in either joint. 🔸Relative adduction and internal rotation of the left and abduction-external rotation on the right, which can cause hip pain on ether side depending on the shape of your acetabulum and femoral head. 🔸Relative valgus collapse and increased flexion of the left knee, which could be a factor in knee pain on the side of the shift. There are a number of possibilities for why this shift occurs. I like to clear mobility restrictions first, ensuring we have ⚖ even ankle dorsiflexion knee flexion-rotation, and hip flexion-abduction-rotation on both sides. Then we move on to motor control and 🏋 technical proficiency and start grooving the motions to clear muscular imbalances. I have ✌ two drills I use most often to repattern a hip shift, and I'm going to share them both with you later this week! MyodetoxOrlando Myodetox FutureproofYourBody

DO YOU SHIFT TO ONE SIDE WHEN YOU SQUAT? The squat has a lot of moving parts that need to work in unison in order to produce an efficient...

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A marriage like this please 👏🏼❤: my dad's been writing my mom a poem every valentine's day for 20 years and this year he took a line from every single one since 1997 20 Years 's7 we ala eutside into new land feel the warm or out faces rgs eurhebyen the Daneed-up head and the tube in her opened her mouth to cry but you had faith 'oo you in your cap gown i aprofessional healer of hearts&mindi body kwul votatryout for help, and who does poern Iir Daddy (whom uove too but not quite so dear I Asvou I Want my Mommyt toz etara Imsaname for a writ's also a thought that chanerd the world lorare finds eoodnewIin everything o4 And lever don't wer Iwwt inMedta see ITo help you itver again l Please try a mie harder to how me toska home flied to the brim with love, happav squesing Rttie and the intoxicating wnetsotanother gourmet dinner o6 His emotions well and he can't een kook the nurse practitioner in the eye. He stares down at his feet. No words come, but a few teando, o the fact that you have volunteered for this double duty ways a whole lot of wondertul things about you that beautiful thiny heart of your juit gota attie bit thinler tot less celebrate ithat God i wo good l and a doten yearn later stlilove you so much that ithurts 10 new rules at our house I don't leave the butter uncovered 1aralong tongue wiR lici itup 1a you make teayto remember that even breath of Audadeus gace vours and mine together, breathing the same air, speaking the name of God in unison Tour valentine from fate this year in a PET scan on February14"IAnd in a birarm ankle twist to our story, I wait for the result of my own Ran I Hapuy Valentine's Day tous "taiknew you don't want to be cancer art so don't be cancer Be incredible talth storygit. 'IS You thould talk to people dying of cancer, so youfgure out what to savto them in penon before you tryto write it invour book 16 has been a wild ride and a shower af blessings IFrom a sliding down the wall suirure to we are wooo A marriage like this please 👏🏼❤

A marriage like this please 👏🏼❤

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sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share : HOW ABOUT 3. Pavane Gently 76 soft mallets PPPP IJUST DON'T PLAY Masic Publ sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
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Is it just me or is this doggo absolutely majestic AF lol. U can't get a doggo like this and name him "Fluffy". U gotta name a doggo like this "Augustin Maximiliano Fernando de Albuquerque XI". Literally the 11th, like "it's only 10 others like him and I got the 11th...fvck with your boy." This the type of doggo where I tie him to the pole outside Intelligentsia Coffee to cop my double espresso and I come outside and all the other doggos and puppers have formed a semi circle around him and Augustin lecturing them about the quantum no-deleting theorem, u feel me? Like Carl the Corgi found a dead rat and just dropped the dead rat on his human's foot and that human frozen in disbelief that my doggo is giving a fvcking TED talk university lecture on a street corner. Then I untie my doggo and we jog briskly in unison off into the sunset while I grasp my double espresso in my left hand and my spear in my right hand. (I feel like if u got a doggo like this, u also need a spear. Never go halfway in life. Always complete the look 😎). Bless up! 😍😂😂😂: Northern Inuit Dog. Bred to look like a wolf, this is the breed they used on Game of Thrones for the direwolves @DrSmashlove Is it just me or is this doggo absolutely majestic AF lol. U can't get a doggo like this and name him "Fluffy". U gotta name a doggo like this "Augustin Maximiliano Fernando de Albuquerque XI". Literally the 11th, like "it's only 10 others like him and I got the 11th...fvck with your boy." This the type of doggo where I tie him to the pole outside Intelligentsia Coffee to cop my double espresso and I come outside and all the other doggos and puppers have formed a semi circle around him and Augustin lecturing them about the quantum no-deleting theorem, u feel me? Like Carl the Corgi found a dead rat and just dropped the dead rat on his human's foot and that human frozen in disbelief that my doggo is giving a fvcking TED talk university lecture on a street corner. Then I untie my doggo and we jog briskly in unison off into the sunset while I grasp my double espresso in my left hand and my spear in my right hand. (I feel like if u got a doggo like this, u also need a spear. Never go halfway in life. Always complete the look 😎). Bless up! 😍😂😂😂
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