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A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

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A true programmer: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
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meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What services does your business offer and what makes your business stand out from the competition?Our Mission The team at Make That Resume Count is dedicated to helping our clients’ succeed in whatever career field they enter. We have made it our mission to consistently offer a higher level of service and support for our clients and to give them the tools they need to enjoy long term success. What was the inspiration to start or run this business?Created during the recession, this organization was originally formed to help baby boomers re-enter the job market after layoffs. Most of our initial clients, hadn’t written a resume or searched for a job in years. It was critical to equip our clients with the tools to navigating today’s job market. What do you love most about your job?Helping people everyday realize that their dreams are achievable What is the best reaction you’ve ever gotten from a customer?Thank you. I would not have been able to land this job without your help https://www.groupon.com/deals/make-that-resume-count : Find New Job meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What services does your business offer and what makes your business stand out from the competition?Our Mission The team at Make That Resume Count is dedicated to helping our clients’ succeed in whatever career field they enter. We have made it our mission to consistently offer a higher level of service and support for our clients and to give them the tools they need to enjoy long term success. What was the inspiration to start or run this business?Created during the recession, this organization was originally formed to help baby boomers re-enter the job market after layoffs. Most of our initial clients, hadn’t written a resume or searched for a job in years. It was critical to equip our clients with the tools to navigating today’s job market. What do you love most about your job?Helping people everyday realize that their dreams are achievable What is the best reaction you’ve ever gotten from a customer?Thank you. I would not have been able to land this job without your help https://www.groupon.com/deals/make-that-resume-count

meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What serv...

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meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What services does your business offer and what makes your business stand out from the competition?Our Mission The team at Make That Resume Count is dedicated to helping our clients’ succeed in whatever career field they enter. We have made it our mission to consistently offer a higher level of service and support for our clients and to give them the tools they need to enjoy long term success. What was the inspiration to start or run this business?Created during the recession, this organization was originally formed to help baby boomers re-enter the job market after layoffs. Most of our initial clients, hadn’t written a resume or searched for a job in years. It was critical to equip our clients with the tools to navigating today’s job market. What do you love most about your job?Helping people everyday realize that their dreams are achievable What is the best reaction you’ve ever gotten from a customer?Thank you. I would not have been able to land this job without your help https://www.groupon.com/deals/make-that-resume-count : Find New Job meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What services does your business offer and what makes your business stand out from the competition?Our Mission The team at Make That Resume Count is dedicated to helping our clients’ succeed in whatever career field they enter. We have made it our mission to consistently offer a higher level of service and support for our clients and to give them the tools they need to enjoy long term success. What was the inspiration to start or run this business?Created during the recession, this organization was originally formed to help baby boomers re-enter the job market after layoffs. Most of our initial clients, hadn’t written a resume or searched for a job in years. It was critical to equip our clients with the tools to navigating today’s job market. What do you love most about your job?Helping people everyday realize that their dreams are achievable What is the best reaction you’ve ever gotten from a customer?Thank you. I would not have been able to land this job without your help https://www.groupon.com/deals/make-that-resume-count

meme-mage: One Month of Job-Search Consultation from Make That Resume Count (44% Off) A Chat with Make That Resume Count What serv...

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meme-mage: SOCIALSBANKWe offers professional Social Media Marketing services that assist our Clients increase their social presence. This is a very important part of any marketing strategy. http://socialsbank.com/: tools providing identity production require ušers individual section including spend part page viewers data citation products between traditional customers students process wall sharing web reputation allow link provide age website product engagement views percent seo effective created largest applications relationships made profile authority interact building skills video campaign marketing podcast readers using SOCialtweet blog interactions itself -pages statistics different ads organization audience real comments media platforms forum technologies television Graffic communication föllow value promotional specialized longer trust personal trusted digital accessible area company based impact form field event sealy information weblog wiki services new instant phones industrial mobile conversation collaboration individuals firms print issued editing subscribers organizations message presence types include total encourages online study global help contents internet reach? followers share like network site research paysıjgnd networking interaction influence content companies debate techniques meme-mage: SOCIALSBANKWe offers professional Social Media Marketing services that assist our Clients increase their social presence. This is a very important part of any marketing strategy. http://socialsbank.com/

meme-mage: SOCIALSBANKWe offers professional Social Media Marketing services that assist our Clients increase their social presence. Th...

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meme-mage: Most of the results we get comes from the small percentage of what we do. Roughly 10% or even less. Most of the money coming to the businesses comes from one or handful of clients/customers. Most of the tax are being paid by small percentage of any demographic population across the globe. But we always focus on the majority. The bigger portion of customers and society. Isn’t that form of a social approval? Isn’t that form of a people pleasing behaviour we carry around? Isn’t that our old tribal instinct that doesn’t serve us any more? We must focus on a small task, client, customer and tax payer and less be bothered about the rest. Thats where the good bits are. The Success. Leave the majority and people pleasing attitude to hard core politicians.: meme-mage: Most of the results we get comes from the small percentage of what we do. Roughly 10% or even less. Most of the money coming to the businesses comes from one or handful of clients/customers. Most of the tax are being paid by small percentage of any demographic population across the globe. But we always focus on the majority. The bigger portion of customers and society. Isn’t that form of a social approval? Isn’t that form of a people pleasing behaviour we carry around? Isn’t that our old tribal instinct that doesn’t serve us any more? We must focus on a small task, client, customer and tax payer and less be bothered about the rest. Thats where the good bits are. The Success. Leave the majority and people pleasing attitude to hard core politicians.

meme-mage: Most of the results we get comes from the small percentage of what we do. Roughly 10% or even less. Most of the money coming...

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