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May, You, and What: You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

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Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling @SeitanSlut Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child to go unaccompanied. Slate @Slate 7h SLATE Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5 lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child. I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses. —It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still Dear Sit Still, Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink. A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong. Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course. I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip. Mend your wicked ways. And that’s the tea! It’s not complicated. Your wine glass is on your right Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in Watch your damn kids And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!
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Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
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Beautiful, Cars, and Family: Cood Caerings Colaring in the lines: Colors make Sense: No white Spaces: CEZAN EI ashabl Markers C) lynati: movemequotes: Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.He liked to make all kinds;Lions and tigers,Chickens and cows,Trains and boats;And he took out his box of crayonsAnd began to draw. But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make flowers.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make beautiful onesWith his pink and orange and blue crayons.But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And it was red, with a green stem.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.” The little boy looked at his teacher’s flowerThen he looked at his own flower.He liked his flower better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just turned his paper over,And made a flower like the teacher’s.It was red, with a green stem. On another dayThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make something with clay.”“Good!” thought the little boy;He liked clay.He could make all kinds of things with clay:Snakes and snowmen,Elephants and mice,Cars and trucksAnd he began to pull and pinchHis ball of clay. But the teacher said, “Wait!”“It is not time to begin!”And she waited until everyone looked ready.“Now,” said the teacher,“We are going to make a dish.”“Good!” thought the little boy,He liked to make dishes.And he began to make someThat were all shapes and sizes. But the teacher said “Wait!”“And I will show you how.”And she showed everyone how to makeOne deep dish.“There,” said the teacher,“Now you may begin.” The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish;Then he looked at his own.He liked his better than the teacher’sBut he did not say this.He just rolled his clay into a big ball againAnd made a dish like the teacher’s.It was a deep dish. And pretty soonThe little boy learned to wait,And to watchAnd to make things just like the teacher.And pretty soonHe didn’t make things of his own anymore. Then it happenedThat the little boy and his familyMoved to another house,In another city,And the little boyHad to go to another school. The teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought the little boy.And he waited for the teacherTo tell what to do.But the teacher didn’t say anything.She just walked around the room. When she came to the little boyShe asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”“Yes,” said the little boy.“What are we going to make?”“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.“Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher.“And any color?” asked the little boy.“Any color,” said the teacher.And he began to make a red flower with a green stem. ~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy …

lynati: movemequotes: Once a little boy went to school.One morningThe teacher said:“Today we are going to make a picture.”“Good!” thought t...

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Beautiful, Bitch, and Children: kalichnikov "Terf is a slur used to silence us" dang bitch wish it worked shut the fuck up Source: kalichnikov nermish-ish-blog asked: BORK! What the heck is a terf? Thought it was a trans slur but idk now. paper-mario-wiki answered: trans exclusive radical feminist. basically a shitty person, usually a really angry talk-to-your- manager type woman who believe trans women shouldnt have a say in feminist issues because they arent "real" women. paper-mario-wiki also they tend to reclaim the lesbian D*ke slur a LOT which is weird. criticalfrog| Transwomen are male. Males do not get to speak about feminism because they are men. You are also a man and should not speak on feminism |radicalyobi feminism is not for males paper-mario-wiki cool, youre fundamentally and objectively incorrect, and also dont talk anymore 4:47 AM-12 Apr 2019 36,016 Retweets 90,837 Likes gahdamnpunk Beautiful cial honey-harpe It's almost as if it's not damaging their self esteem, image to their classmates, and wow it's like people want to be treated with kindness a-room-of-my-own I tried that with kids at a summer camp I worked at about 10 years ago. They had activities after lunch and I proposed dancing and relaxation. They loved it. The especially cute thing was one day, I brought a few CDs of Roma music, I'm a big fan so I have quite a few from Django Reinhardt manouche jazz to Roma folk songs. There were Roma children from Kosovo, but I didn't know if the songs were in their language or not. Turned out they were and the kids were just happy! That's one of my fondest memories of that summer. They taught SO the lyrics to the other children (and to me ha!) and also how to dance. As for relaxation, one hyperactive boy came everyday and really appreciated it. Photos Videos Marketplace Pages Places - Fsuwr 22 points 2 days ago Wait for a paper bill then call your ins company. All ER visits are supposed t in network. You may have to push the ef Everyday Feminism 572K like this Society & Culture Website Laura and 18 other friends like this Liked permalink embed save report give gold re Check out our online magazine Learn how to apply feminism to your r... heidycge2 3 points 1 day ago Usually policies have a waiver if y this was the only ER you could go Like Being Feminist amarnanru unu fared at the time 160K like this - Community Valentina and 10 other friends like this Open Link in New Tab 6+ Matching Posts Open Link in New Container Tab Open Link in New Window ARCA ARTANE Like Family Research Council Open Link in New Private Window 243K like this Publisher Bookmark This Link Family Research Council is the nation's premier advocacy organizat... BINCE Save Link As... Save Link to Pocket Copy Link Location Shinigami Eyes Mark as anti-trans Mark as t-friendly Clear Help paper-mario-wiki: polyglotplatypus: hey there! are you tired of accidentally reblogging from TERFs and other transphobes? then have no fear, for the shinigami eyes extension (chrome/firefox) is there for you. with it, you can identify social media users and pages that are trans-friendly and the ones that are transphobic! never reblog from a transphobe again. oh thats me! hi me! cool extension.
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Beautiful, Birthday, and Crazy: thejoanglebook: gerrycoco: Joan Appreciation Day song  Here is my humble contribution to Joan Appreciation Day.  @thejoanglebook this one’s for you ***Personal note*** I struggle to see projects through in life, for many different reasons that aren’t worth going into at the moment. All I can say is that I’m inspired every day by people like Joan who put their heart and soul into what they do. Joan you are a comedy genius, a musical mastermind and all around crazy talented human being.You are the reason I pushed myself to make this video. This past weekend I learned that Joan Appreciation Day was on September 3rd and so wished to contribute something but didn’t know what. At one point I had a spark of inspiration and actually decided to follow it and do something with it for once. If anyone could appreciate a good pun it’s definitely you. And you more than deserve all the praise that we can give. So I took my courage and attempted to put it to good use, and I’m rather proud of the result.So thank you for not only inspiring me, but also for being a catalyst to put myself out there and giving something new a try. Hello @gerrycoco and hello everyone else. Sorry, I’ve been pretty quiet today/yesterday, but you should understand that I’m the type of person whose reaction to a performance of happy birthday dedicated to me is an internal: “do I deserve this? Don’t make eye contact. This will be over soon.” I can be pretty emotionally unavailable, and I feel like I should be absolutely floored by the incredible honor of having so many people celebrate me, but instead of feeling thankful, I feel like I owe something back. I’m like “oh God, they’re all being so kind. How do I show my appreciation for them?” Especially because on some level, I feel like reblogging all of your wonderful works of art could be vanity. I’m terrified of vanity. I don’t want to lose touch, and start to think more of myself then I deserve to. I want to keep growing, and I want to put others first. If I accept this gesture, does that mean I agree that I deserve it, or that I’m done growing? I don’t think I’m a genius at all (and I’d rather you not rebut that, because I’m really not trying to fish for compliments here).That said, the one thing I’m the most happy about having accomplished, is having worked on, written for, contributed to, or created projects that have inspired other artists. Some of you may know that I’m very pro-fan fiction. If I don’t accomplish anything else, I love that someone could’ve felt motivated to make something beautiful after seeing me attempt to make something beautiful myself. It really does warm my heart. That’s why I’m reblogging this, because I love that you felt the neccessary courage to put yourself out there, @gerrycoco… I’m really, really glad that you did. It’s a lovely song. And believe me, I really struggle to see things through myself– that’s why I only collaborate with people, because sometimes I think that that might be the only way that I can finish anything.I think I’m going to continue reblogging art for the occasion (a little belated, I know). Even if I don’t think I’m emotionally ready to believe I’m at all worthy of being celebrated, I do think that all of you wonderful artists are.🧡 Joan

thejoanglebook: gerrycoco: Joan Appreciation Day song  Here is my humble contribution to Joan Appreciation Day.  @thejoanglebook this one’...

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