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Baked, Dad, and Fail: theguilteaparty So my mom told me a story... Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week. Literally every week since the first one of them learned how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts. So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat. Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him. So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time). So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself. That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years... and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana bread!" "What are you talking about? He loves banana bread! He had it all the time!" This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being. He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didn't have the heart to tell them that he couldn't stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told the kids his big secret. My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was. Dad and the Banana Bread

Dad and the Banana Bread

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Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bodies : I can build an inpenetratable wall around Asgard. Only thing I want as payment is the goddess of love, Freya.. Okay everybody, calm down. This isn't the first time a jotun wanted me for his bride I'm used to this problem by now and we just gotta- and the beautiful Sun and sexy Moon. YOU WANT ME AS PART OF A HAREM!!?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED!!!! systlin: would-we-be-friends-if-i: thehmn: In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end. For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay. Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks. Hoooold up are you telling me the Sun is female in Norse myth? Cuz its usually male, across other mythology. Yep. Mani is the god of the moon, and Sol is the goddess of the sun in Norse myth.

systlin: would-we-be-friends-if-i: thehmn: In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themse...

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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Bitch, College, and Crime: lan Cull Follow @NBCian He used Snapchat's "gender switch" filter to pose as a 16-year-old girl online, and take down a police officer allegedly looking to hook up. He tipped off the PD, and the officer was arrested. Our exclusive interview with the man, and why he did it, at 11 on @nbcbayarea 10:14 PM - 10 Jun 2019 A South Bay college student used a Snapchat filter to pretend he was an underage girl online and take down a San Mateo police officer allegedly looking to hook up on Tinder. Ethan, 20, told police he had a female friend who had been molested as a child and went online to create an undercover profile to identify possible pedophiles. The student, who did not provide his last name because he fears retaliation, used Snapchat's gender-switch filter to take a picture of himself and posed as a woman named "Esther" on Tinder. One man messaged him. Robert Davies Photo credit: San Jose PD "I believe he messaged me, Are you down to have some fun tonight?' and I decided to take advantage of it," Ethan said. He then texted the man on a different app that he was 16 years old and asked if that would bother him. Police said screengrabs of the conversation show it did not bother the suspect "We started texting on there, and it got a lot more explicit," Ethan said The person on the other line, investigators said, was Robert Davies, a San Mateo police officer. He was arrested last week by San Jose police on suspicion of discussing sexual activity with a minor on social media. Davies also was recently recognized for his police leadership. Ethan said Davies and him exchanged messages for over 12 hours. He sent screengrabs of their conversations to Crime Stoppers. supreme-leader-stoat: thetatteredmind: bigforeheadgaaal: this cop is not only a perv, but a complete moron because he didn’t realize it was just a filter lmao  We fucking stan a bitch who takes down pedophiles KING
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God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all, not without Obi-Wan's permission "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between them Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could sense a shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete, droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside, under the stars Only those of us who have been slaves can he sometimes thought. really taste freedom, gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don’t, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets that Anakin isn’t quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.  It’s just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin–”either you obey a rule or you do not” is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that’s not necessarily a judgement thing.  Obi-Wan himself is “breaking the rules” by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it’s for the good.  It fits so much with how it’s not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you’re doing, the motivation behind it, the why of it, the bigger context of it.  That’s why it’s important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it’s tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.  He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s. “Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.  He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.” oh my god Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan, “He’s the greatest person who ever lived, he’s the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.”SAME, ANAKIN.  SAME.  RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.
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Fucking, Jail, and Lawyer: MSNBC eMSNBC @MSNBC Thousands of immigrants forced into solitary confinement by ICE for being physically disabled or gay. NEWS Thousands of immigrants suffer in solitary confinement in U.S. detention centers Newly obtained documents show that ICE detainees are sometimes placed in solitary for reasons that have nothing to do with rule violations By Hannah Rappleye, Andrew W. Lehren, Spencer Woodman and Vanessa Swales MCND Thousands of immigrants forced into solitary confinement by ICE msnbc.com 12:13 PM May 21, 2019 Social Flow 4.5K Retweets 2.9K Likes nerd-on-duty: thingsfacebookislike: biglawbear: loud-and-queer: thatpettyblackgirl: TELL US AGAIN THAT THE NAZI COMPARISONS ARE HYPERBOLIC https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/immigration/thousands-immigrants-suffer-solitary-confinement-u-s-detention-centers-n1007881 Holy shit read the fucking article This administration needs to be tried in the ICC for crimes against humanity Three or four specifically discussed cases (and many more not explicitly mentioned) of named trans women being put in solitary for being trans. Often for months. (One case was like, almost a year.) Over 60 wheelchair users being put in solitary for using wheelchairs. Gay people being put in solitary for consensual kissing. Suicidal people being put in Even Worse Solitary for not wanting to survive the Slightly Less Horrid Solitary. “The mentally ill placed in isolation for reasons that included attempting suicide, being the victim of a physical attack or exhibiting behavior related to their mental illness.” “A Guatemalan man spent two months in solitary confinement at a county jail in Maryland. The reason: He had a prosthetic leg.” “A mentally ill Ukrainian man was put in isolation for 15 days at a detention facility in Arizona. His offense: putting half a green pepper in one of his socks.” “Moises Tino‐Lopez, 23, from Guatemala, died in 2016 in an isolation cell. Once in isolation, the facility did not ensure he got needed anti-seizure medication. He then died from a seizure.” (And they gave no reason for putting him in isolation, either.) And they only keep records of solitaries over 14 days. All the cases listed here are 15+ days of solitary, otherwise they wouldn’t even be on the record. Only 11% of detainees have lawyers. Once you’re in solitary, you pretty much can’t call your lawyer anymore even if you have one. You certainly can’t get one if you hadn’t had one before. The United Nations special rapporteur on torture has said that solitary confinement can amount to “torture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment,” and that isolation for more than 15 days should be banned, except in exceptional circumstances.
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Abc, Books, and Google: In real life: Gaiman and Pratchett did a radio interview when the book came out, and slowly realized that the interviewer wasn't aware that the book was fictional, and thought they were a couple of religious kooks writing about what they thought would be the real apocalypse. They spent the rest of it viciously trolling him. your memory.. I said 'What is it you need to know?'," begins Gaiman, wryly "He said 'Well, you remember we were on the Good Omens author tour in February 1990'... He said 'We were in New York and we went to that ABC affiliate radio station, and the interviewer had not actually read the book. So when we started telling him about Agnes Nutter.. we started explaining about this 17th century witch who all of her predictions were true... He did not realise this was fictional. We realised he had not read the book, and the engineers in the control room behind the glass panel who we could see and he could not, were lying on their backs kicking their legs against the walls. kyraneko: katy-133: mirrorfalls: katy-133: If anyone ever finds a copy of this 1990 New York radio interview for Good Omens’ book tour, please let me know immediately. Because it’s bound to be hilarious. The original source for this was a 1991 Locus interview with Gaiman. Stay tuned for more details… Oh my gosh. “He didn’t know enough to stop us” is the best sort of situation ever.

kyraneko: katy-133: mirrorfalls: katy-133: If anyone ever finds a copy of this 1990 New York radio interview for Good Omens’ book tour, ...

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