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portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out. : Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
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awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldnt go all snappity snap on anyone (or oute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was prety apparent that Frank is a gigantic king a""hole Here we see Frank gettin all high and mighty trying to run the f"k away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant t"k. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzlla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong towrn Frank, you picked the wrong king town. Not äke Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the f'k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was ked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five f"king years old and he sits thef"K down and goes limp Honestly Frank grow the fk up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong WE F KING LASSO'D THE SH.T OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole ordeal and bitched the entre ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when 1 thought my life was gonna got just a ittle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo sholgun pisses all over my toot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE TM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A B'TCH THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Meet Frank The Turtle
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Now rated E for Everyone. Thanks mom! by dethmstr FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.: your birthday When your mom wraps present in rap wrapping paper, but ad ski Bow Whoom hoo hoomp begin/ Party on party oeopie Whe it back to the oid school ere it is/Whoomp there nt and bent and as 1puffon onp there it is/Whoomp th ogie dancin/Whooooo/Sh it? (We can dig it)/Can you dig it? (We sh of steel, that's the grill of th Whoomp there it is/Yeah, Tag Te s/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it en party people let me hear some noise/t bere it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoom seI'm.an old feel it is/Whoomp there Whoomp th in, check its ere it is/W then censors all the "bad words" Whoomp there ag Team back oomp omp there Oomp there ton th hit me nic, and mnaks Who Whoomp thera Pers there it is/Vhoomp there it a-laka chack-a-laka chak a- he Whoo Gett here it is/ a chak-a/P blank oon ice bomp ome and it is-I'm done/Whoomp th re it s/Whoom here nd that you have found/ Am zin outstanding dem ay all dig it? (We can dig it)/Cny udig it? (We n d ind the folk lore wreck, three to the omp there it is/Whoomp there o there it is/Whoomp there it is hin' like this/Tag Team back there it is-hit me / Wh ill on th nd one mig che there hoo ot. re it is Mad hor its ordsI W o there it is/Whoom here laka chak-a-laka.cha /Whoor the have fou / Am 2 (We c dig it/C ore wrec, three to the o there it is Whoomp th it is/Whoomp there it is Whoomp there it is oomp there it is/Yeah, Tag Team othere iti Whoomp ther it is/Whoomp there it is /Vhoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it hin' like this g Team ba .kagain, check its records l's begin/Party on party people let me hear some noise/ there it is-h Whoomp there it is/Whoomp th e it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoom on the mic, and e this o there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it i Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is /Whoomp cha laka chak-a-laka chak-a/ Point blank hoomp there it is t and as I ther is/Whoomp there it is /Whg W.ooooo/ re it/Whoomp ther nd juice I ank / Gettin" ber ere it is/Whoom there it is /Wh o outstanding, demanding, con manding you pcple danci Point Rock an that's a bre We can dig it)/ Can all dig it? (We adig it)/n you dig it? (We can dig it)/ andone mic-check/ Mad kill flow ill on t eel, that's the grill of the micra arty hype/ n taking it back to the old school, 'cause I'm an old fool w and juice I d nk/Gettin' bent and bent and as /Rock a m /Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is /Whoomphere it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is/Who have found/Amazing, outstanding, demanding, com anding you people dancin' //Whooooo that's a bre ll dig it? (We can dig it)/Can you dig it? (We can dig it)/C Il flow ill on the mesh of steel, that's the grill of the micro hoomp there it is / Whoomp there it is/Yeah, Tag Team /hoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there let's begin/Party on party people let me hear some noi here it is/Whoomp there it is /Whoomp there it is/Upsi get down I'm gonna show you the way/Whonm a chak-a/Whoomp chak-a-laka chanl a honey to dip it in / Sln Whoomn th 2(We can dig it)/Can you dig it? (We can dig it)/Can ore wreck, three to the two and one mic-check/ Mad o there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is o there it is/Whoomp there it is/Whoomp there it is methin' like this/Tag Team back again, check its reco there it is-hit me/Whoomp there it is/Whoom oomp hool, 'cause lI'm an old fool who's so cool/If you wan here it is/Whoomp chak-a-laka chack-a-laka chak-a Rock a mic, uh-oh I crave skin /Rip here it is/Whoomp there it is / Whoomp there it i 's a breath taker I produce AKA the undertak Cany'all dig it? (We can dig it e I just killa Now rated E for Everyone. Thanks mom! by dethmstr FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.
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Gettin: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce
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Meet Frank The Turtle: Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40b snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldmt go all srnappity snap on anyone (or cute puppies) so my friend and I jumped into action. Wehin about 2 minutes it was pretty apparent that Frank is a gigantic "king a"hole Here we see Frank gettin' all high and mighty trying to run the t"e away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant k Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzilla like terror on humanity are f"king over. You picked the wrong town Frank, you picked the wrong t"king town. Not ike Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere betore we got him to calm the k down Jesus Frank Frank then realized he was rked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five 1"king years old and he sits the f""k down and goes limp. Honestly Frank grow the f"k up. You think ather turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a sheled prehistoric WE F"KING LASSO'D THE SHT OUTTA YOU FRANK Needless to say Frank was pretty f"king upset about the whole drdeal and bitched the entire ten minute walk back to Casa De Frank and just when I thought my life was gonna get just a attle bit easier, Frank goes and torpedo shotgun pisses all over my foot Fk you Frank. Thats low even for you, you pancake sheled dickweed Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town, Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE IM A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A BTCH THE META PICTURE Meet Frank The Turtle
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