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Head, Today, and Lizard: Apologies if youve already seen a lizard balancing berries on its head today

Apologies if youve already seen a lizard balancing berries on its head today

Candy, Christmas, and Gif: AT&T LTE 10:40 AM e * 67%. Amelia YOU MATCHED WITH AMELIA ON 6/23/18 A lost duck is walking through the forest. Which way does he go? To the left The duck waddles along and ends up by a lake. Farther along the shore is a bridge he can cross to get to the other side. Should the duck swim across the lake or go towards the bridge? Bridge Also... why is there a Christmas tree outside With night approaching the duck crosses the bridge. Smart decision as alligators are seen hiding in the lake The duck has a weird feeling there might have been treasure under the Christmas tree he passed. "Too late" he says to himself. On the other side the duck finds an abandoned mining town. However, power is still running Should the duck investigate one of the houses or pass through the town towards the mountain? Sk Omg this is a risky choice but the duck should investigate the house The duck is hesitant but decides to investigate the house. He finds that the front door is unlocked and slowly opens it, searching for any danger. He finds nothing of danger but keeps his guard up. In the entry way is an old Christmas tree, a desk with a phone and two doors. Where should he go? The Christmas tree The duck investigates under the Christmas tree and finds some old presents. With no one living in the town he decides to open them. He finds a hat making him feel way cooler, and some candy that he decides to eat. "Man I'm cool" says the duck. Should the duck leave or continue to investigate the house? Continue to investigate The duck looks into the two doors and finds the rooms are empty. "They must've left in a hurry" he says. The duck waddles to the desk and searches it finding nothing but a torn note. On it is written "Amelia's number" but the rest of the note is gone. The duck wonders if he should try a random phone number or leave the house and head towards the mountain. What should he do? Sunday 9:58 PM Try a random phone number Yesterday 4:31 PM The duck wonders what Amelia's phone number could be. What number should he try? Sent Today 10:06 AM GIF Type a message Apologies if its a repost. It madeth me laugh

Apologies if its a repost. It madeth me laugh

Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message tindershwinder: Triple threat

tindershwinder: Triple threat

Anaconda, Bad, and Energy: tRI 100% 3:18 AM Vanessa Ok so want you to imagine we've got a 1972 Ford F-100 sitting in a lot, the rear truck bed of it filled with several wheels of cheddar cheese Now, just behind it, you'll see a reliable 2007 GMC Topkick C4500, this one filled with delicious gouda, still wrapped in wax, Behind that vehicie lies a 1985 Toyota Pickup SR5, freshly painted and with a load of fresh Bleu cheese in the back. Behind them all, a 1995 Dodge Ram 2500, the rear bed containing several large slices of Swiss cheese gently baking in the hot sun. Look I know it's not much but it's the best cheesy pick-up line I could come up with ngo Wow that was a mouthful and arn adventure Imfao Choose your own adventure! For a low energy effort segue from the line, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B, Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks! Anyways what are you up to B: I've got another mouthful for you here if you're up for it C: Lo siento, pensé que hablaste inglés. Puedo intentar seguir flirteando en español pero mis habilidades españolas son pobres 6 min ng See it's times like this where I wish I knew spanish Btw this is amazing I'm very impressed Vanessa 54min ag0 For a low effort reply, read part A For an overly-sexual response, read part B. Para Español, sigue al C A: haha thanks, I didn't know it was possible to live down here without knowing any Spanish B: If I can get them digits I'll send you a photo of something else that'll impress C: Por favor, perdone mis intentos de humor tardio, normaimente soy mejor en este tipo de cosas 47 min、ago Omg I'm having my friend translate this Spanish me Choose your own adventure! A for standard low effort response, B for overly-sexual response, y C para Español A: Haha your friend will probably be able to tell you how bad my Spanish actually is. In fact, I've been using Google translate to help. But shh keep that on the down low... Our B: This Spanish friend of yours single? 1 always had a thing for C: Lo sentimos, pero Google translate ha detectado un error. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde. 4 min ago 1. My friend isn't a girl 2. Why you tryna get with my friend here when you're talking to 3. That spanish part was funny why'd you send me that Imfao Vanessa 26 min ago Choose your own adventure! A for standard response, B for overly- sexual response, y C para Español. A: My apologies, B can sometimes get a little out of hand. I'm not interested in the friend. It's just that B tries hard to be overly sexual and when the only thing in your reply was that you're having a friend translate, he had to run with it. He means well and deep down B is actually a mature and reasonable C: Has enviado demasiadas solicitudes de traducción. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde min ag Boy you're ridiculous I can't keep up with 3 GIF a message Triple threat

Triple threat