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Crime, Jail, and My House: uncleromeo when I was 11, my (black) neighbor witnessed my house being broken into. she called the police to report the crime. I came home from school and the robber was still inside. I personally watched as a man I didnt know walked out of my home with our stuff. the police didnt show up for 3 days. when they did, they told us there was nothing the could do because we "staged the house". they claimed we hid our tv's and valuables to make it look like more was actually stolen. they never asked for a description, never visited the neighbor who saw the break-in, anf as they left, they told us that stolen property is almost never recovered and we should "buy more and get on with [our] lives" when I was 23, I was dog-sitting for a (white) friend. her neighbor called the police and said there was a strange black man in her yard. the police showed up in 5 minutes. 6 units, 12 officers, stormed the back yard as I was running around with the dog. some came through the house and I know for a fact that the front door was locked. they damaged around $5000 worth of property, took her dog to the pound, and me to jail. my friend had to cut her trip short and drive 4 hours back to get me from jail and explain to police in person that she knew me. because "that could be anybody on the phone". the neighbor was with her when she came. we had met several times before. she was neither embarrassed nor apologetic. moral of the story? too many of us have lived this. too many of us didn't survive. Wow

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Advice, Apparently, and Basketball: envyadams today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks" and half of me tried to say "you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying 'your problem ea this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so I'll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine and " have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents) and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnof so I tried to say "quick and "tast at the same time and I ended up screaming "QUACK which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I'm okay in the middle and ended up saying "I'm gay. Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said "trick or treat and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me I was switching between Bye Deanna and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's uncomfortable. When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, "How are you doing? and "What's up? I ended up demanding "What are you doing here? something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended up saying "Tm really so amazing one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "Tm so pumped for the birds" and "Tm so hyped for the birds and instead i said "I'm so humped for birds Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniming me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like 'hello" or 'good morning" or "cute dog" or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying thank you I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between "my drink "MY KINK and my keys and ended up screaming I walked up to this register.in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, andi wanted to say You have a good day" and "You too" so it came out You have a good do do I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said 'Have a nude gay!. Still haven't recovered. OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm oftern jumbled between 'have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out as "have a nice neigh" or "have a good date" or occasionally even "have a night die" When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so I actually said rice and mats" instead At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and some beef jerky and some other stu Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat products Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED was jerky since that's what they were eating before- As I turned to stop him from eating "meat- what I started to say was "oh no" but finished with "no don't INSTEAD i wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends hand A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a thank you with It's my pleasure and said "You're my pleasurel instead of "You're welcome" and my friend messed it up When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to get to the basketball court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to change it to "WALK" at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie. kellyoxenfree Source: archive95205 Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.advice-animal.tumblr.com
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