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Dank, Memes, and Mrw: MRW I submit my last final paper to earn my MBA. Im done boyz! by yo_soy_soja MORE MEMES

MRW I submit my last final paper to earn my MBA. Im done boyz! by yo_soy_soja MORE MEMES

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Ass, Fucking, and Google: unpicasso probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet jadelyn Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that "I have no idea how to do that but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I'lI figure something out for you." I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, "You do realize that I just like.. .google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don't know how to do, right?" But his praise didn't change at all. There was no "Wait, that's all it is? Instead, he said "Yes, but the fact that you think to do that and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you've learned and use it going forward is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it's "just googling stuff, but it's still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don't shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay? And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don't undervalue your googling skills, kids. It's not lying if you know you can figure it out a millennial’s advantage
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Ass, Fucking, and Google: unpicasso probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet jadelyn Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that "I have no idea how to do that but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I'lI figure something out for you." I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, "You do realize that I just like.. .google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don't know how to do, right?" But his praise didn't change at all. There was no "Wait, that's all it is? Instead, he said "Yes, but the fact that you think to do that and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you've learned and use it going forward is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it's "just googling stuff, but it's still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don't shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay? And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don't undervalue your googling skills, kids. It's not lying if you know you can figure it out a millennial’s advantage
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Ass, Fucking, and Google: unpicasso probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet jadelyn Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that "I have no idea how to do that but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I'lI figure something out for you." I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, "You do realize that I just like.. .google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don't know how to do, right?" But his praise didn't change at all. There was no "Wait, that's all it is? Instead, he said "Yes, but the fact that you think to do that and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you've learned and use it going forward is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it's "just googling stuff, but it's still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don't shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay? And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don't undervalue your googling skills, kids. It's not lying if you know you can figure it out a millennial’s advantage
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5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl. (🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of y’all ain’t smart. Actually y’all dumb (low key 😂). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. “Smash wayment. U saying even if I’m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? 🤔” I’m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ain’t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ain’t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like “bam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.” But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldn’t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY 😂. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why it’s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE 👏 A 👏 M 👏. Now look I’m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. I’m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like “wow he up at 5 am damn.” Nah. I’m up to email y’all a$$es before snoozing 😂. But if y’all wanna assume then good 😊. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! 😂😂😂
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Anaconda, Life, and Memes: @Standup911 A MUST READ- During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!” This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.” The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!” This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage! The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.” This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job. The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!” This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!” The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! So who are the real robbers here. standup911 fuckthesystem
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America, Bad, and Bless Up: Woke up to this. He isn't allowed on the bed so he kept his hind legs on the floor. Reddit u/AndThatsAllSheWrote @DrSmashlove Ladies and gentlemen I gotta speak on something right quick before this become a epidemic. We need to collectively hold hands as Americans and address this issue. In the airport security line today I done seen not one. Not two. Not een three. FOUR young tings wearing the following outfit: colorful Crocs or Birkenstocks. Colorful a$$ socks. Black tights. Big baggy a$$ t shirt. No makeup. Hair disheveled. Not like a bird’s nest bc that could be a look, nah. Like someone had cocked a shotgun and SHOT a bird’s nest - “Smash, who would SHOOT a bird’s nest?” - EXACTLY - who would have this hair style in a public place?! 😂 Now u gon say, well it was probably early morning, what do u expect. NAH. TWO PM IN THE MF AFTERNOON 😂. Now it wouldn’t had been bad but then u got these lil tings flying back to Latin America unpacking they carry on full of Reese’s, M+M’s, Pringles, XBOX controllers and other gifts for people back home. These ladies dressed like they going to a fancy dinner bruv! Same age group! Lil nice pair of loafers, slim jeans, lil sportcoat, lil Louis Bag. Dignified! U feel me? Like the rich kid in ya high school like how his sexy mama dressed lmao u feel me? Like that! Side note: how everyone in Peru and Panama got a Louis canvas that Louis canvas ISPURNSIVE! Not expensive but like 2 chain and yo Gotti say ISPURNSIVE LMAO! Now u gon say “WELL AMERICAN GIRLS ARE CASUAL SMASH WHAT DO U EXPECT THIS ISN’T SOUTH AMERICA U WANT A SOUTH AMERICAN WOMAN THEN GO TO SOUTH AMERICA OL ENRIQUE IGLESIAS LOOKIN A$$. RICKY MARTIN SHIRT UNBUTTONED TO YA BELLY BUTTON...LOOKIN A$$.” Chill. U ain’t have to lump me with Ricky Ricardo for making a observation. I’m just saying it’s ladies dressing like grow folk and it’s ladies dressing like they headed to a fifth grade slumber party IF U AIN’T IN FIFTH GRADE ANY MORE U AIN GOTTA DRESS LIKE A FIFTH GRADER. IT’S HIGHER GRADES NOW LOL. YOUR FOREIGN COUNTERPARTS ARE DRESSING LIKE THEY GETTING A MBA DEGREE I’M JUST LETTING U KNOW. GO HEAD ROAST ME NOW. I’M JUST SAYING BAN THIS CANCER OF AN OUTFIT BEFORE IT GET TRACTION BLESS UP 😂😂😂
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Beard, Fall, and Love: as-cold-as-her-sorrow: So these lovely people tagged me few months ago to post selfie and sorry it took me so long but I didn’t rly feel like posting my face or feeling pretty so I’m kinda late but I want y’all to know that I love your pretty faces and lovely blogs. And thank you for being such a wonderful people. *hugs* 💞 So I was tagged by these cuties: @torrents-of-alabia, @lacewingflies, @blodbranddod, @ragnardaddy, @filakterium, @medusastears, @misshammett, @skjaldmaer-shieldmaiden, @shakespeare-was-a-metalhead, @scarsoftheshatteredsky, @beardowulf, @entangled-in-chaos, @kawaiichurchburner, @victoria-krueger, @goodbye-to-gravity, @cannabyss666, @walk-among-us, @lothloriennes, @aleksandroskaya, @naarassusi92, @the-secret-ginger, @pinhead-in-stilettos, @rust-dust-and-guts and @andersswiftbow. So feel free to post your selfies ‘cause I love seeing you. 💚🌿 I tag: @georgiaroisin, @my-sxe-world, @torradh, @toomuchcoffeedrunk, @brainlessmvtant, @type-ho-negative, @ollis-beard, @osmundastrum, @salemsbat, @forest–troll, @drmhgnlynntn, @lonelygroove, @xeptum, @theres-a-hole-and-no-heart, @hannahwh0revath, @hereticpoltergeistphenomena, @pentatan, @pythmenas, @fall-of-hearts, @raisedinthunder, @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal, @into-the-painted-gay, @into-solitude, @kvtie-pie, @metal-kitten, @slaytanic-andy666, @collect-to-nyc, @fleshbutt-apocalypse, @dead-winter-days, @qaos, @bierserker, @rileywasyes, @moonlighthobbit, @beebunny and @macabremusings  😌💛🌌
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Anaconda, Life, and Memes: @Standup911 During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!” This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.” The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!” This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage! The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.” This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job. The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!” This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!” The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! So who are the real robbers here. standup911 fuckthesystem
Save