🔥 Popular | Latest

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights: Bismuth demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights: Bismuth demands trans rights !!!

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights: Bismuth demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights: Bismuth demands trans rights !!!

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights:Entrapta demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights:Entrapta demands trans rights !!!

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights:Grell Sutcliff demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights:Grell Sutcliff demands trans rights !!!

Save
Arthur, Tumblr, and Blog: charactersdemandingtransrights: Arthur Morgan demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights: Arthur Morgan demands trans rights !!!

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights: Kotal Khan demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights: Kotal Khan demands trans rights !!!

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: charactersdemandingtransrights: Geras demands trans rights !!!

charactersdemandingtransrights: Geras demands trans rights !!!

Save
Children, Memes, and Pizza: To the person who keeps stealing my sandwiches (Turkey and Swiss with mayo on rye), This is ridiculous. We are all full-grown adults, not children. Please take responsibility for your actions and stop stealing other people's property! Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye, I have your precious sandwich, it's safe. For now. Put 10 dollars on the plate in the fridge or you'll never see it undigested again. Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye Ihave your precious sandwich, it's safe. For now Put 10 dolars on the plate in the fridge or you' never see it undigested again Dear Sandwich Thief Please grow up and just return my sandwichl this is very unprofessionall If ever find out who's deing this I won't hesitate to CONTACT HRI hesitate to CONTACT HRII Dear Turkey and Saiss For every haur you oine to smy demands remeve anather bite of is sandwich. Plase taehis seriously, We are gefessionl,aer Sandh Thi Dear Sandwich Thief, Hi. This is Tina from HR. Please return the sandwich and we won't investigate the matter any further. Dear Sandwich Thief, Buy me a pizza Dear Sandwich Thief Buy me a pizza No. Buy me a pizza No. By the way...Pm not even- going to eat it Just gonna chew up and spit t out How does that make you feef? Hi, Tina from HR again. Francis, we checked the office's primer qucue and traced the requests hack to your deska Could you please come to see me at your carliest convenience me at your earlhest convenience samy please don't ie me. This post is a long boi via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2Qni07m

This post is a long boi via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2Qni07m

Save
Ass, Fail, and Fucking: Jessica Liebman ajessicaliebman Follow Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear bya simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job. businessinsider.com Muging M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow White people's fixation on inconsequential social norms is a way to structurally keep out non-white people who lack the cultural capital and privilege to know every one of these inane social rules we're supposed to perform to be granted the jobs and resources we fucking deserve. Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t.. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow As people who lack white or class privilege know, not possessing this cultural capital causes intense anxiety and alienation. Networking events, office small talk, interviews are often dreadful experiences bc we're being judged according to rules that were set up for us to fail. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow Everyone who has experienced the dread & anxiety of being in a room full of privileged white people and literally not knowing what they're talking about and second guessing everything you do, knows that these "proper politeness" rules are just a way to alienate & marginalize us. Muqing M. Zhang Follow muingmzhang These social norms of the dominant group create intense emotional strain for marginalized peoples. They cause immense mental labor for us to learn and mimic these behaviors, fear that resources will be withheld, and anxiety when we can't contort ourselves to fit their demands. thesunshineshow: kushonthecoast: siryouarebeingmocked: yourpoliticsarestupid: uncommonbish: THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions Someone didn’t send a thank you email. I always love it when some idiot takes a single person’s actions and uses them to generalize about “white people” or “men” or whoever. white people’s fixations on inconsequential social norms Who wants to tell this guy about, say, Japanese tea ceremonies? In fact, this statement is not only racist against white people, it’s racist against non-whites too. the jobs we [CENSORED] deserve Isn’t that for the hiring manager to determine, not you? If you’re throwing this pseudoinellectual, racist, self-entitled tantrum over a single hiring manager requiring a minor courtesy, why would anyone want to hire you? Do you think most white applicants are automatically going know they should send a thank you letter? “First impressions matter” my ass. You…you do realize that concept isn’t remotely limited to Gen Xers, right? How fucking low does the bar have to be that asking for a thank you is too fucking much? Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it. I thought it was common sense to say thank you for getting hired but it turns out I’ve been a superior, high class white male all along. I learn so much on Tumblr everyday. “nonwhites are idiotic caveman with zero basic social skills” sounds kind of racist to me.
Save
Beer, Click, and Dank: ESSENTIAL GUY CODE LAWS Player 1 belongs to whoever owns the console If a bro dies while lifting, put more weight on 2 the bar, then call 911. Shotgun is a responsibility, not a privilege. If 3 you are sitting up front, you're not a passenger, you're the co-pilot. Don't throw a friend under the bus to impress 4 someone. Ever. When offered a beer, accept it even if it's not "your brand." Your favorite brand of beer is "free." Your second favorite is "cold." If friend with truck assists you with moving, 6 you shall reciprocate with a full tank of gas. Beer and pizza also accepted. If your bro dies, delete his Internet history. Be polite around your buddy's lady friend, 8 but when he asks what you think, lay the truth on him like a ten ton slab. Unless it is super busy, there must always be a one urinal buffer between men in a restroom. If you shake with a limp hand, you are 10 acknowledging non-verbally to me that I'm in charge, even if we've just met If you and buddy are having a threesome 11 with a girl, you can't look each other in the eyes. But if you happen to accidentally look each other in the eyes, you have to high five! The three-person concept of watching adult 12 videos: One guy watching adult videos is cool. Three guys watching adult videos is cool. Two guys watching adult videos, not cool. All groceries go from the vehicle to the 13 house in one trip. It does not matter how many bags there are. 14 Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. There are specific rules to the "head nod" 15 when greeting another male. If you know them nod up, if you don't you nod down. Bro code question: What if a bro asks too much and does too little? Cleans the kitchen, demands rides for a week. Brings shit beer, drinks good beer. What do? Details plz by ThrowawayBlast CLICK HERE 4 MORE MEMES.
Save