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Beautiful, Booty, and Bruh: Memphis Zoo announces birth of baby hippo... weighing just 76 pounds! Name not yet decided. pic: Memphis Zoo @Drsmashlove So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the solution to your problem. Look up 'Dutch reach.' Good luck!" Now see Bruh my mind is tainted. Ruined. I came of age in the point in history when pr0n went from being snuck around and shared in a crumpled-up, clandestine fashion to being readily available on computers and phones. So a sexy female follower DMs me about the 'Dutch reach' and my mind starts wondering. Wandering. 'Dutch reach'...hold up...like where I'm with a girl putting in work from behind and she all "YES DADDY PUNISH ME DADDY" and then right when I'm like "ohhhh...OHHH...ARGHHHH" she reaches alllllllllll the way under past my sac and jams two fingers into my back door and I start crying and screaming and vomiting and then curl up in a ball wrapped in a comforter, sweating, tears rolling down my face, contemplating the loss of my manhood? Nah. The Dutch reach is where, instead of mindlessly opening the door with your left hand and killing a bicyclist, you reach across with your right hand, turn your whole body, see what's behind you, wait for them to clear, then open the door. Thank you, beautiful woman. I'm now aware of the Dutch reach. In fact, I did it this morning...And my booty hole is still intact FTW ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the sol...

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Being Alone, Creepy, and Head: A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat David M. Dosa, MD, MPH. the Cat akrns from decides to head down the tion. Her body is thin and eye to survey opening single wing fiert, along the way tide, ed fr atop the his kingdom. From steppi Mr. s, who is shamped har been desk in the doctor's the breat ting away rea, the black With couch in the HalMay lips purred, he charting spoken in several is her white feline peers down the two snores nd has Winge of the peacefully perhaps sitting nursing home ad- re of where diughter, who gla up from vanced dementia unit. All quiet is now living onear continues ber novel fronts, slowly, he nd eastern down the until he visi ries and ly its end and Room 310. today The door so travagantly stretches hin 2yea ice of the takes fint backward and and waits. He has important wom nd leaps up then forward. He rits up and Ntinese here. his bent T, she is rveys Mr bed. He phase of in the the resident door finaly epens, and out atness, and her breathing is la it is Mrs. Man rse's aide rying bered, o been livi he dementia dirty linens. "Hello, owca perd by in third floor for sk the daught you going inside" SAe has long forget her oicar lets her pass, then mak hether Mi even though they visit hi ble and needs phine. way into the room, where daily. there are two people. Lying in a The daughter shakes her head. beveled after eating her lunch. sed and facing the T is aaleep in fetal posi. nowhere. She glides rd Os to herself with strgard for her aloer." She par Kla down the hallway Oscar relieved. is yet M time, and he wa bothing to with her. ps down off the desk, relieved to be alone and in control of his do- main. He takes a few driak from hi ad grab a quick bite. Satified. he enjoys another stretch and sets out on his creepy. enemies Oscar the therapy cat was raised in the dementia unit of the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. It's said that he can sense the impending death of a patient, and will curl up and sleep next to a patient if they're near the end. Kitty kitty purr purr - - - cat horror creepy scary ghost sixthsense death fact creepyenemies

Kitty kitty purr purr - - - cat horror creepy scary ghost sixthsense death fact creepyenemies

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Memes, Old Woman, and Struggle: Woman Gets Arrested After Trying to Sneak Her Boyfriend Out of Prison in a Suitcase blogged by @LoveRubywoo @balleralert Woman Gets Arrested After Trying to Sneak Her Boyfriend Out of Prison in a Suitcase - blogged by @LoveRubyWoo โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € A 25-year-old woman is behind bars after she tried to help her boyfriend execute his own version of the show "Prison Break". Antonieta Robles Saouda, being the loyal girlfriend that she is, tried to help Ibrain Jose Vargas Garcia escape out of a prison in Venezuela, where he was serving 10 years for a car robbery. She, along with their 6-year-old daughter, went to visit Garcia and she brought a suitcase into the facility with her. While the guards weren't looking, Garcia crawled inside the suitcase and Saouda zipped it up and headed towards the exit. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The plan, while a creative one, didn't execute as well as the couple had hoped. Unfortunately, Saouda didn't consider the fact that her boyfriend was well over 100 pounds, which might be a lot for someone her size to try and push. On the way out, the prison guards saw her struggling with the suitcase, which stirred up suspicion. The guards then asked her to open up her suitcase, and when she did, they found Garcia curled up amongst their daughter's toys. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € After taking a picture of Garcia in the suitcase, which I'm guessing they found pretty comical, the guards threw Garcia back in prison, and then threw Saouda in there with him. As of now, there's no word on how much time she will be serving for her role in the attempted escape. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € If this doesn't get Saouda the Ride or Die Chick of the Year Award, I don't know what will.

Woman Gets Arrested After Trying to Sneak Her Boyfriend Out of Prison in a Suitcase - blogged by @LoveRubyWoo โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € A 25-year-...

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Smooth, Traffic, and Flight: "I'm too scared to double text" Me Hurry 9:54 PM The 9:54 PM Fuck 9:54 PM Up 9:54 PM BRO 9:54 PM HELLO 9:54 PM HURRY UP 9:54 PM YOU TAKE FOR VER 9:54 PM TO REPLY 9:54 PM TEXT 9:54 PM A year and a half ago, I signed up to study abroad through my university. I was nineteen and wanted to see a little of the world while going to college. My scholarship fully covered it, so I applied and was quickly accepted. My parents were thrilled to see me go and have an adventure, so they helped me pack up and dropped me off at the airport. The connecting flights all went smoothly, and I found myself at an airport in France. One of the guides who worked with the university met me and a few others who flew in at the same time. As a group of three, we were led to our dorm. In reality, it was just a tiny apartment rented out for the three of us, but the guide referred to it as our dorm. I slept deeply that first night, I remember. The time change had really screwed with my sleep pattern. It took me two days to get adjusted. When I was finally on my feet, my first order of business was to get groceries before school started. The other two girls had already gone, so I went alone. I've never been particularly afraid of going places alone, even though I'm a girl. I had a map and left most of my belongings locked in the dorm in case I was pickpocketed. The trip was completely fine, until I stopped for a sandwich at some small cafe a couple blocks from the dorm. You would think that something like this would happen at a seedy bar or from peddlers handing out free drinks, but it happened in complete daylight on a well-used street at a bright and happy cafe. If I try hard, I think I remember looking at something behind me when I sensed movement, then drinking my coffee. But that could be my mind making some memory up. I had been sitting out in front of the cafe, plate and coffee in front of me. There was decent foot traffic, and I was watching the people walk by, sometimes almost kicking the table because of how far into the sidewalk the cafe had placed the table. The next thing I remember is waking up in a dark, large room. Not a bedroom. A warehouse. I was curled up with my knees to my chest and lying on cold metal. I was shivering pretty badly, and the cold helped sharpen up my senses.I was facing a set of double doors that led into the warehouse-sized room.
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Memes, ๐Ÿค–, and Curl: obin Too cold to go outside? Try curling up with a good book instead! ๐Ÿ“šโ˜• reading winter

Too cold to go outside? Try curling up with a good book instead! ๐Ÿ“šโ˜• reading winter

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Memes, SpongeBob, and ๐Ÿค–: IO ็ฑณ. ใš โ€œDonโ€™t be a jerk... Itโ€™s Christmas!!!!โ€ ๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŽ„ Curl up with SpongeBobโ€™s Christmas Special today at 4:30pm-3:30c!

โ€œDonโ€™t be a jerk... Itโ€™s Christmas!!!!โ€ ๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŽ„ Curl up with SpongeBobโ€™s Christmas Special today at 4:30pm-3:30c!

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Comfortable, Food, and Hungry: What actually happens when two humans hug Everybody loves cuddles from the biggest gangster to the smallest child. We get so much love when we are children. Years pass, the love changes, it's not unconditional from everyone any more. Conditions come with the amount of love and support. You make friends, they will grow to love you, but not give you as much affection as when you were a child. You meet someone who wants to be with you, close to you, be your friend, become your lover. Time for hugs, comfort and beautiful moments. You are loved again, not that your family or friends ever fell out of love with you. It's just different now, you are supposed to be starting your own family. Somebody to share food with... Even though you hate sharing food because you are hungry lol. Another soul to exchange stories with, company that can't be rival by any other. Seek Out love, even though you have been hurt, you know that you don't want to be single. We all want and need affection, not merely sexual encounters. Sex is cool but everything else that should come with it, makes up the love of life itself. The late nights curled up together... Complaining that your partner is freezing but they only went to the toilet and you were happy, that they put their cold feet on your legs, because you are excited to be with someone special. You are back in each other's arms. The embrace comes with a reassuring kiss. Everything will be alright now. Pulling you closer, holding you tighter, hoping to never let go. You don't want them to go, you can't wait for the day to end so you can start cuddling again. chakabars

Everybody loves cuddles from the biggest gangster to the smallest child. We get so much love when we are children. Years pass, the love chan...

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