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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Ass, Dude, and Empire: sleepydumpling: welkinalauda: tikkunolamorgtfo: xmasterassassinx: winterpunk: xekstrin: crackrockdebby: d–i–y—-orgasms: be-blackstar: tikkunolamorgtfo: WATCH THIS: MAN SHUTS DOWN ANTISEMITIC WHITE POWER PREACHER One of my friends in the Boston area took this video and gave me permission to post it. She writes: “ I stood there for twenty minutes, easily. Hitler Youth kept trying to preach about “the evils of the Jews” and the big guy barely let him get a word in edgewise. At one point, the big guy yelled, “I will be here ALL DAY” and the crowd cheered.” I promise this will be the best thing you see today. Where’s a goddamn bullhorn when you need it? wow that preacher is probably shitting his pants low key with some big ass biker that close to his face  Caption for those who need it– the guy in the suit is saying shit like “all races must serve us as put here by God” and a lot of racist/anti Semitic drivel. Every time he opens his mouth to speak though, the biker yells “AHHHHHHH!!!” Until the man in the suit shuts up again. When the man in the suit takes a breath and opens his mouth, the biker doesn’t even let him get started and just screams “AHHHHH”…. This happens a few times. The guy in the suit plows ahead but the biker screams and says “No no no no!!!” I love biker dude Make racists afraid again. Um, sorry, but the guy in the suit deserves to speak his opinions. How’d you like to get screamed at everything time you spoke about what you are passionate about? I’m not saying I agree with his opinion, but that doesn’t make shutting him down like this right. Freedom of Speech. Just agree to disagree and walk away. 1) Freedom of Speech means you have the right to speak your mind without being punished or censored by the government. It does not mean other people have to listen to you, and it does not mean they can’t yell over you if you’re saying something disgusting and inflammatory. The Biker Dude has just as much right to do what he’s doing as the Neo-Nazi. Nobody’s right is being infringed upon here. 2) The guy is “passionate about” hating and inciting violence against Jews. I’m passionate about information literacy, candle-making, and giving snuggles to my pet rabbit. There’s a fucking difference, there.  3) “Agree to disagree” is something you say when two people can’t come to a consensus over whether or not The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. It’s not something you say when one person is Jewish and the other person believes Jews are a evil satanic cabal trying to enslave the white race who must be stopped at all costs. That’s not an “agree to disagree” topic. We don’t “agree to disagree” over the issue of whether or not Jews are people. We don’t “agree to disagree” over whether or not black people, immigrants, Muslims, LGBTQ folks, etc. are deserving of basic human rights. These things are not up for debate, and there is no middle-ground to be had with people who think otherwise.  “I can’t remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you’re saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it’s not literally illegal to express.”– Randall Munroe Always reblog the anti-hate bikie.
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Baseball, Beer, and Lazy: I'm going through the tough time in life where I must truly choose what I value most. My thesis and schooling are very labor intensive. I'm very tired from reading all the time. It's very easy for me to want to play PlayStation and MLB the Show all day every day, but I really have to fight that. Anthony Bourdain once said "There's a man in me who wants nothing more than to smoke weed all day, sleep in bed, and watch movies. Every day is a battle to not be that man." It's easy to want to be lazy. Some days all I want to do is watch movies. Some days I'm ready to retire at 3pm so I can kick my feet up and drink a beer and forget everything. The real challenge is that right now I'm in my little corner, lamp overhead, and book at my side because allI've done for the day is read. Going on 8 hours now. I want to be done and I want to call it quits. But I can't There's the me in here that realizes 8 hours isn't enough. My thesis won't write itself. Grad Schools aren't coming to me. I need to realize that when this is done, I'll have done more for myself and hopefully the world than I ever would have done by instead just playing baseball games. I invest $200 in debt to take the GRE again because the guy I need (or want) to be requires I do better the second time through. Because I don't want to look back on my life 30 years from now and wish I had only spent a few more hours studying or working, and realized those few hours literally could have opened up an entirely different universe of opportunities for me. Time to get serious, yo. great-quotes: [Image] I Don’t Want to Look Back and Wish I Had Spent a Few More Hours StudyingMORE COOL QUOTES!

great-quotes: [Image] I Don’t Want to Look Back and Wish I Had Spent a Few More Hours StudyingMORE COOL QUOTES!

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Antidote, Beer, and College: Simple Ways To Fall Back In Love With Your Life SVEN PEAR SUNDAY A at LLLG M Train HJALTINNOR Man Sirlione BEER LYNK immy006: 1. Travel often. Designate one weekend a month to get yourself out of the city, out of the country or at the least, out the front door of your apartment. Let the ever-changing scenery of your life keep you inspired, invigorated and consistently reminded that there’s so much more to the world than your everyday routine. 2. Make room for surprises. Instead of trying to control every last aspect of your life, give your life the chance to surprise you from time to time. Say yes to the date you would usually reject or the party you’re not sure if you should go to. Sometimes the things we’re most unsure of end up being the things we’re most grateful to have done – but you’ll never know unless you give it a shot. 3. Learn to receive love. Accept help from friends when they offer it. Accept compliments when they’re directed at you. Let yourself be loved in the tiny ways you don’t always allow yourself to be, and watch how much easier it becomes to accept your own love, too. 4. Practice gratitude. Every time a negative thought crosses your mind, deliberately counter-act it with a positive one. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but it is a lot more positive than we tend to give it credit for. Capitalize on that on the days when your mood needs a boost. 5. Speak to one new person every day. The world is full of incredible people – in bookstores, coffee shops, on buses and on sidewalks. Take an extra two minutes out of each day to learn your barista’s name or tell the bus driver that you appreciate them. You’ll be surprised at how many incredible people are already in your vicinity. 6. Dedicate time to self-improvement. Set aside an hour or two a week to chart out personal goals, projects and affirmations. Become your own life coach and make self-improvement the priority that it deserves to be. 7. Practice forgiveness. Let past grudges fall by the wayside and allow peoples presents to overcome their pasts. You don’t have to welcome them back into your life, but you do deserve to welcome peace back into yours. And forgiveness is an integral part of doing just that. 8. Leave the past behind. Give yourself active permission to let go of the mistakes you’ve made, the paths you shouldn’t have walked down and all the ways in which your past has let you down. To move forward you have to face forward – so give yourself permission to do so. 9. Get moving. Pick a sport, a class or an exercise regime that works for your body and then practice it as often as possible. Life just looks better through the lens of endorphins – and exercising regularly is a proven method of enhancing your mood and wellbeing. 10. Train yourself to see the best in people. Loving and appreciating others is a habit, just like anything else. Instead of immediately writing people off for their shortcomings, try pinpointing their best qualities and focusing only on those. It lightens your mood and frees up that part of your brain that is usually reserved for bitterness and judgment. 11. Search for opportunities everywhere. Keep your eyes peeled for the classes you’ve always wanted to take, the career move you’ve always wanted to make and the little risks you could be taking every day to get you closer to where you want to be. The world is ripe with new opportunities and chances. It’s up to you whether or not you’re going to take them. 12. Surround yourself with positive people. As Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” So take a look at who those people are – do they inspire you to be a bigger, brighter, more positive version of yourself? If not, it may be time to re-evaluate your friend group. 13. Make positive plans for the future. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong in the next couple of years, try taking a long look at what could go right. Plan your life as though all of your wildest dreams could and might come true – you’ll be surprised at the effect this mindset has. 14. Dress for success. Our outer appearance dictates almost nothing about what kind of people we are – but it can influence the way we feel. When we present ourselves in a way that makes us feel confident, that confidence shines through in everything we do. 15. Listen to the right kind of music. Music has a massive effect on our mood. And we can use that to our advantage. By coordinating the music you’re listening to the mood you’d like to be in, you can train your brain to engage in positive (or mellow) vibes as needed. 16. Make friends with your body. Instead of hating and punishing your body, try loving it. Try listening to it. Try feeding it, exercising it, resting it and nurturing it in a way that makes you feel at home inside of it. And then love and appreciate it for all the incredible things it is capable of. 17. Seek out mentors. We all need people to look up to. By choosing to surround yourself with those who are doing well in the fields that interest you, you are setting yourself up for success. Allow yourself to be encouraged, inspired and mentored by people much bigger than yourself. 18. Be receptive to change. Instead of agonizing over the way things used to be, start picking out what’s positive about the way things are. Change is never easy, but more often than not, it is our own mental resistance to it that makes it so damn hard. 19. Let laughter be a priority. We’re fine prioritizing work, school, the gym and other constructive activities – but we’re not as comfortable prioritizing the activities that bring us true joy. Like sharing a glass of wine and a night of ridiculous jokes with the people we love most. Consider carving out time for laughter because it turns out it really is the best medicine. 20. Start looking at health holistically. Health isn’t just about eating your veggies and going for regular runs (though it’s also about that) – true health means that you’re taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and psychologically. Failing to make time for self-care means failing to make time for your overall sense of wellbeing. 21. Commit to an ongoing education. Learning shouldn’t stop when we graduate high school or college. By actively seeking out methods of growing your knowledge base, you’re actively seeking out ways of improving your life. And education doesn’t need to be formal – chances are, everyone you know has something to teach you. It’s just a matter of allowing them to do so. 22. Master the art of active listening. You have more to learn from others than you think you do. 23. Let yourself dream without restraint. Your life may never fully match up with your wildest fantasies – but allowing yourself to engage in them nonetheless can help you realize what you really want in life, and what you ought to be working toward. 24. Choose optimism over cynicism. As much as self-proclaimed “realists” loathe to admit it, optimists have more fun. And by making slightly more positive choices in their everyday lives, they attract more positive results. 25. Prioritize people. As much as we’d all like to believe otherwise, we need other people in our lives. When we neglect our social lives, we neglect some of the best opportunities we have available for ongoing learning and growth. By making other people a priority, we make the continuous expansion of our worldview a priority, too. 26. Stop shying away from hard work. In the world of quick fixes and overnight fame, hard work is an underrated skill. The more we persevere at the things that matter to us, the more our confidence grows alongside our skill set. And that in itself is reason enough to start taking our work ethic more seriously. 27. Minimize your need for instant gratification. In a world that maximizes instant gratification, learn to occasionally forgo your impulses in favour of focusing on what you want in the long-run. The more you realize how dependent you are on digital forms of validation and gratification, the more capable you become of unplugging and focusing on what matters. 28. Spend more time in nature. There’s no two ways about it – our minds need to interact with nature in order to function optimally. Taking a half hour walk outdoors may just be the antidote you need for reducing anxiety levels, increasing your quality of sleep and boosting your mood. At worst, it’s a nice way to spend your lunch break. 29. Minimize your belongings. Minimalism is trendy – and with good reason. The less we own, the less we realize we need in order to get by. It’s an empowering concept – and one that eases the pressure on our wallets while it’s at it. 30. Give your time away. By devoting our time and energy to a cause much bigger than ourselves, we ironically realize what a huge impact we can have on the world when we aren’t just focused on our own self-interest. Sometimes the first step to improving yourself is forgetting all about yourself. 31. Allow yourself a creative outlet. Even if you’re completely lacking in artistic talent, having a creative outlet of any sort can be highly therapeutic. You don’t need to be Picasso or Hemingway right away – you can indulge in self-expression for your own sake and let the talent build with time. 32. Share some positive energy. The best way to intensify a good mood is to share it. Go out of your way to compliment a friend, buy a coffee for the person behind you in line or tell someone exactly why you love them. It’s almost impossible to make someone else’s day and not have your own made as a result. 33. Be a little more open every day. Life drags. It stagnates. It slumps. But more often than not, the reason it does all of that is because we have closed ourselves off to it. When we commit to saying ‘Yes’ a little more often with every passing day, we commit to opening our lives back up to possibility. And we may just end up falling in love with wherever those possibilities take us. By Heidi Priebe Artwork by nattskiftetSource

immy006: 1. Travel often. Designate one weekend a month to get yourself out of the city, out of the country or at the least, out the fron...

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