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5 More Minutes
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        5 MORE MINUTES!: 5 MORE MINUTES!
        

            
            

                
                
                    5 MORE MINUTES!: 5 MORE MINUTES!
                    
                
            

            
                
                
5 MORE MINUTES!

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Average Saturday morning with and without kidsomg-humor.tumblr.com: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KIDS
 WITHOUT KIDS
 WITH KIDS
 TIME
 Time to get up! Someone peed
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine.
 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 more hours.
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 bed. You're up.
 6:30
 Still asleep.
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 sleep.
 7:00
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder.
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 dog's ear.
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body.
 8:00
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you had
 multiple can openers.
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince.
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 first floor.
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away.
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter.
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet.
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 fireplace.
 10:00
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice.
 30 more minutes of
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show.
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 you, Danny Elfman.)
 10:30
 and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts.
 Whatever.
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie.
 11:00
 МЕМЕРIХ.СOм
 FUNNY STUFF ON MEMEPIX.COM
Average Saturday morning with and without kidsomg-humor.tumblr.com
        

            
            

                
                
                    Average Saturday morning with and without kidsomg-humor.tumblr.com: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KIDS
 WITHOUT KIDS
 WITH KIDS
 TIME
 Time to get up! Someone peed
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine.
 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 more hours.
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 bed. You're up.
 6:30
 Still asleep.
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 sleep.
 7:00
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder.
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 dog's ear.
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body.
 8:00
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you had
 multiple can openers.
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince.
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 first floor.
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away.
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter.
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet.
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 fireplace.
 10:00
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice.
 30 more minutes of
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show.
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 you, Danny Elfman.)
 10:30
 and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts.
 Whatever.
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie.
 11:00
 МЕМЕРIХ.СOм
 FUNNY STUFF ON MEMEPIX.COM
Average Saturday morning with and without kidsomg-humor.tumblr.com
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Average Saturday morning with and without kidsomg-humor.tumblr.com

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save