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callmeblake: mcrmyhollywoodscans: JUNE 2004 - SKRATCH Photo Credit: Derrick Santini : My Chemical Romace ..usually burn... My Chemical Romance are goniuses. I will say it go) on any givan "roality TV show, which again: geniuses! They wrote this catchy song about one would it be and why? not being okay. Can you imagine anything striking a FRANK: GROWING UP GOTTI, cause I'm a quar- deeper chord with the key high-school-aged record- ter Polish and three-quarters mobster. buying demographic? I swear, they must be managed by Steve Forbes or something. I'm not dissin'-I'm SKRATCH: Does anyone in the band have just jealous! Do you realize how many underage an obnoxious girlfriend? What makes her girls these guys must have swarming around their so lame? tour bus?! It boggles the mind. Anyway, I had a really FRANK: What, are you kidding me? You're gonna great e-mail exchange with guitarist Frank Lero. He's get me into trouble with this one. Fine: Mikey's girl- got a great sense of humor and he believes in evolu- friend. Ha ha, l'm callin' you out, Jeanna bait! Yeah, tion-so, as far as l'm concerned, he deserves to live that's right-I went there. a happy, normal life. Judge for yourself, though. SKRATCH: If you had to wear either high SKRATCH: Late at night when you think heels or a bra on a regular basis, which of the Warped Tour, what do you think of? would you pick, and why? FRANK: The lack of showering, rad Porta-Potties, FRANK: Dang. Neither, really. I have bad ankles, and friendship. so the heels are not even a question; and bras just seem like a hassle, SKRATCH: You guys are kinda pale. Are you worried about sunburn on the SKRATCH: Do you believe in evolution? Warped Tour? What will you do to prevent FRANK: Yes, because it happened. Next it? Or are you looking for a little color? FRANK: Um, I don't know It's really not something SKRATCH: If you killed someone, where I'm too concerned about...butI do usually burn, would you hide the body? Do you think especially on my face, and that's never any fun...so you'd get away with it? maybe I should come up with some sort of a plan. FRANK: I would hide the body in a voting booth. Apparently, intelligent people haven't stepped foot in those things for years. SKRATCH:I love the way your music video looks like a film trailer. If they were to ac- tually make the film being "advertised," what would the plot be? What character And that way, if Ashcroft is running for any sort of office, the body can do a little last-minute campaign FRANK: There would be absolutely no plot whatso- ing! Ha ha ha. Oh, man, I'm fucking funny. Is that too ever. It would be lots of close-ups of Gerard, some heady a reference for a Warped Tour guide? Well, more of Mikey, a car would blow up, and it would be take your mind off it by checking out My Chemical Romance all summer long on this year's Warped Tour! And throw my man Frank some sunscreen when you see him. I worry about hirm, you know? would each member of the band play? over. I would audition for the part of Godzilla. SKRATCH: Man, didn't high school suck? FRANK: [Tou hit the] nail on the head, sister. SKRATCH: If you could go (or had to www.skratchmagazine.com By Jeff Penalty /Photo by Derrick Santini playing 6/18-8/1S www.theimmortalityproject.com callmeblake: mcrmyhollywoodscans: JUNE 2004 - SKRATCH Photo Credit: Derrick Santini
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gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghosts: queerautism: actualdisasterbi: republicansareahategroup: scifinut: missanthropicprinciple: mcdyke: lesbian-lizards: jimmyfury: iskariotrising: PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY HES A DOG no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing. People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well. Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is. Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit. I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….? ??????? They’re dogs. This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in. Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog. I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.  Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE. My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine. People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender. The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET! OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO!  Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget : Kaytlyn Marie Stone Great Pyrenees and Their Crazy Antics 3 hrs My beautiful boy! Like Comment gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghosts: queerautism: actualdisasterbi: republicansareahategroup: scifinut: missanthropicprinciple: mcdyke: lesbian-lizards: jimmyfury: iskariotrising: PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY HES A DOG no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing. People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well. Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is. Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit. I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….? ??????? They’re dogs. This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in. Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog. I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.  Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE. My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine. People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender. The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET! OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO!  Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget
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Read me: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
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sollike: customrolex: sistermaryfake: one-in-lemillion: blvckgeezus: imoverallofit: gabbythegawd: This is who Thanos THOUGHT he was. She is the Original. This level of power, with no infinity gauntlet? Thanos could never. Bro… She deflected one chair, then caught the other..WITH ONE HAND ✋ I still want to know what led to this The one who can beat Thanos all these years later and there’s still so much to unpack and so many questions left unanswered UM I JUST LOOKED THIS UP THIS IS THE END OF A FASHION SHOW IN NORTH CAROLINA. OUR LADY CHAMPION DIDNT LIKE THE JUDGES DECISION SO SHE DECIDED TO THROW A CHAIR AND THINGS ESCLATED TO THIS AMAZING FILM. WERE THE POLICE CALLED YOU ASK? WHY YES! YES THEY WERE! NO CHARGES WERE FILED AND NOT EVEN A REPORT WAS MADE BECAUSE “NO ONE ON SCENE WAS WILLING TO COOPERATE WITH ANY INVESTIGATION” No one would even make a statement! I’m losing my mind! Snitches get stitches! Don’t even tell the cops the time! Fuck em throw chairs! FINALLY SOME CLOSURE. this video has kept me up at night for years : sollike: customrolex: sistermaryfake: one-in-lemillion: blvckgeezus: imoverallofit: gabbythegawd: This is who Thanos THOUGHT he was. She is the Original. This level of power, with no infinity gauntlet? Thanos could never. Bro… She deflected one chair, then caught the other..WITH ONE HAND ✋ I still want to know what led to this The one who can beat Thanos all these years later and there’s still so much to unpack and so many questions left unanswered UM I JUST LOOKED THIS UP THIS IS THE END OF A FASHION SHOW IN NORTH CAROLINA. OUR LADY CHAMPION DIDNT LIKE THE JUDGES DECISION SO SHE DECIDED TO THROW A CHAIR AND THINGS ESCLATED TO THIS AMAZING FILM. WERE THE POLICE CALLED YOU ASK? WHY YES! YES THEY WERE! NO CHARGES WERE FILED AND NOT EVEN A REPORT WAS MADE BECAUSE “NO ONE ON SCENE WAS WILLING TO COOPERATE WITH ANY INVESTIGATION” No one would even make a statement! I’m losing my mind! Snitches get stitches! Don’t even tell the cops the time! Fuck em throw chairs! FINALLY SOME CLOSURE. this video has kept me up at night for years
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pieflavoredjizz: codependent-hunters-221b: proudmoore: deerleisure: solondonnn: newyorksjojo: oohmrleo: I don’t understand, why did you reblog a picture of a normal dude hanging out on the street I hate how tumblr does this. Why do people think it’s okay to take pictures of random guys just because they’re “attractive” or whatever? That’s fucked up, and I guarantee if this were a woman instead of a man there would be outrage. And I know sexism isn’t equal in that sense, but people have a right to privacy. Stop being so damn creepy, y’all. Um I’m not sure if I’m mistaken but that is a picture of a guy dressed as a squid I believe Wow that’s rude :/ So much for body positivity on this site smh. Dressed like a squid??? I don’t see no squid.  This man looks like a perfectly normal husband and father, how dare you insult him? How dare you insult his family : STOP Developers TACON 837 ESTMENT PARTNER pieflavoredjizz: codependent-hunters-221b: proudmoore: deerleisure: solondonnn: newyorksjojo: oohmrleo: I don’t understand, why did you reblog a picture of a normal dude hanging out on the street I hate how tumblr does this. Why do people think it’s okay to take pictures of random guys just because they’re “attractive” or whatever? That’s fucked up, and I guarantee if this were a woman instead of a man there would be outrage. And I know sexism isn’t equal in that sense, but people have a right to privacy. Stop being so damn creepy, y’all. Um I’m not sure if I’m mistaken but that is a picture of a guy dressed as a squid I believe Wow that’s rude :/ So much for body positivity on this site smh. Dressed like a squid??? I don’t see no squid.  This man looks like a perfectly normal husband and father, how dare you insult him? How dare you insult his family
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Employee of the Centuryadvice-animal.tumblr.com: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES floatingwithobrien: theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift" and gerb says "i recall" "that's about four times faster than anything i've ever seen" and gerb says "yea ok" "jeremy what happened?" and gerb says "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation" Source: theinturnetexpl... 145,411 notes Employee of the Centuryadvice-animal.tumblr.com

Employee of the Centuryadvice-animal.tumblr.com

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It’s a real problem apparentlyomg-humor.tumblr.com: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES 17 floatingwithobrien: theintumetexplorer laser-free diet yall need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were leaming about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strateqy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supemarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift and gerb says i recal "that's about four times faster than anything ive ever seen" and gerb says 'yea ok" jeremy what happened?" and gerb says ihad to save a little old woman from placebo radiation It’s a real problem apparentlyomg-humor.tumblr.com

It’s a real problem apparentlyomg-humor.tumblr.com

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Trolling your ex at its finestomg-humor.tumblr.com: So, um.. I still like you. Be rude all you want to but i sill like you and if you ever need anyone to talk to or hangout with, just call me and l'll be there in a alot.. I like meth sec. ...do you still like me? No. WE'RE NOT FRIENDS. You never asked ifI love you. Can you actually say something to me please Aww do you love me? NAH Delivered You're a dick. Why do you hate me? I may be a dick but at least I'm faithful Despite the fact that you cheated on me with my bestfriend, I don't hate you. I just strongly dislike you. It was just one guy. Cmon Kane.. Please.. I miss you. No guy has ever treated me as good as you. You are literally the sweetest and cutest guy on the planet. Will you please be mine again.? Hate is more lasting than dislike. Jesus take the wheel. Did you just really quote Hitler.? I knew you were Sure. crazy but damn. Really?. BrainyQuote Hate is more lasting than dislike. Nosok yoursel Delivered Ok, I'm leaving. You don't have to talk to me again. But before I go, are you 100% sure that you are done with me?.. Thanks for posting our texts on Twitter and humiliating me. Asshole. "It was just one tweet." Lets me put it this way, l'd rather listen to a Jonas Brother's song, on repeat, for a week straight, than be with you again. You've never been this douchey before. Are you on drugs?. No l'm on pugs Fine be that way Kane. Just know, you'l never find someone like me again. Yeah, thats what I'm hoping for.. Delivered I wanna at least be friends with you. Why dont you stop being douchey. Well I wanna do bad things to you Why dont you stop breathing. Oh really, like what? Gosh you are such an asshole. Murder your family. Don't text me again ICAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES Bye Kane. YOU'RE ANGRY Kane. Just please listen. I know you're mad, but we are just plain meant to Im not mad at you for anything. As much as i try to not want you, I like keep seeing signs that lead me to you. Me too SPECIA NEEDS CHILD MEMEPIX.COM Delivered CНECK OUT MЕМЕРIХ.COМ Trolling your ex at its finestomg-humor.tumblr.com
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