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Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold: yeh'll need a lot more study Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either (t says pewter on yer list), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope a8 uaá fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: fleamontpotter: pansiparknson: fleamontpotter: The boy has never had anything nice and the second he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the bottom now we here I love him so much Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that on his desk Ithink he would have said fuck it to his promise to dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spellbooks, to stop himself buying a handsome set of solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY I'm surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year, he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just fill his arm up with gold instead of bones. NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL HE'S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD 25,088 notes ti Harry Potter and the Quest for Gold
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Dudebro Story: only1600kids itsagifnotagif lesbianvenom in fifteen minutes I'm going to tell you the story about how my dumb lesbian ass willingly went into a dorm with four bros lesbianvenom it's been more than fifteen minutes I know but you will get the full scoop on this (also l'm okay) lesbianvenom Okay STORY TIME sol was walking back from work around nineish and my neighbor/seminar classmate is in the hallway talking to his girlfriend. he sees me and he's like "hey!! hey classmate whose name I don't know" so I turned around and was like "it's Hayley. and he apologized for not knowing (I didn't know his name either so I wasn't mad) and asked if I'd started my first paper for seminar. he asked me what it was on so I told him and he was like "I'm so stuck I have no idea what to do," so clearly the natural response for my stupid ass to make is to offer him help I told him to knock on our door and ask for me if he needed help. maybe I did this because I was still in tutor mode from work. maybe I did it because no one takes those offers up anyway, right? wrong! a half an hour later, as I'm getting ready to shower, he knocks for the door and asks for me, and all my roommates don't believe him bc he's this dude bro who clearly works out and is wearing a johnny cash tshirt. like how fake deep is that. i would never associate with a dude bro so he invites me back to his place and as I'm walking there I'm like "this could very possibly be a bad idea," but I go anyway bc I'm a dumbass with no sense of self preservation. he lets me into his apartment and I'm immediately hit with the bro-ness of it all: a sports illustrated poster on the wall, protein powder EVERYWHERE, posters of beer, snap backs, flasks, and a guitar because of course there is. his room is no better, and alarm bells are just fucking going off and I'm trying to think of a quick exit. then he tries to close his damn door to his own room and I'm like "hold up that stays open" and he was like "oh yeah I'm sorry I didn't think about that," which was....considerate. two hours, two cigarette breaks later, one opening paragraph later, and one of his roommates trying to hit on me later, he starts talking about intersectionality and my mind goes?????????????? and we legit talked about rape culture and trump and how fucked we all are. eventually we started talking about the law and feminism so then I tell him I'm gay and his immediate response is "do you get those stupid microagressions from guys who say they can turn you straight?" and it took me a minute to respond bc the fact he even knew that word was so bizarre it was like worlds colliding he then tells me he thinks his little sister might be gay because he thinks she told him while he was drunk one night but he couldn't remember so he asks for advice because he doesn't want to upset her because, in his words, "I'm not gay so you know I don't understand it like you do. then, because the night of course could get weirder, he tells me he writes poetry but doesn't tell anyone because he'll get shit for it bc he's supposed to be a "tough guy" and masculine and shit and I just feel Jesus sending me a message through this kid that shouldn't judge all dude bros by the bro-ness of their looks but I also wanna stay sexy and not get murdered so I'm gonna keep doing that. sorry jesus. finally I left because I was tired and also I had to wash the smell of bad cologne off of me but guys this was an experience please be- lieve me. i was standing in the shower before just letting the water wash over me as the whole two hour ordeal played over in my head because we laughed, we talked. he told me something about himself no one else knows, we exchanged political ideas and fist bumps. we bonded over the stress of a seminar paper and now we are forever changed by this event. so that was how my dumb lesbian ass willingly walked into a room with four dudebros in it. cutecajunlizard I was so scared this was gonna go badly but turns out it's about making new friends in unexpected places Source: lesbianvenom 83,261 notes Dudebro Story
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angelwingsandhunterfreckles: saepphire: majormitchmajor: kayquimi: ceruleanrabbitking: doctor-john: the-cosmic-life: I BET THAT IF TWO KIDS LIVED IN THOSE TWO HOUSES THAT THEY WOULD COME OUT ON THEIR ALMOST CONJOINING ROOFS OUTSIDE THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS AND TALK AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE. I will not write fluff to that. I won’t. No. LUCY I FOUND IT But what if instead of two kids, it was, say, a kid and an old woman? And at first they just ignore each other and keep their blinds down and curtains shut, but then the kid climbs out onto the roof one spring morning to get a frisbee and she’s got the window open bc it’s so nice out and she tells him to cut that out, it’s not a jungle gym and maybe the kid shows off a bit and nearly falls, and the old woman catches his arm…. anyway, so sometimes they leave the windows open and the kid’ll show off his comic books or asks what rhymes with ‘beautiful’ (and it’s totally for homework shut up), and the old woman tells him about all the protests and marches she took part in, and asks him the name of that one cute pop star (it’s absolutely for her crossword now shush). And the old woman gives the kid relationship advice, and doesn’t tell when he tries a bit too much of his parents’ liquor cabinet one time, and the kid comes over and shows her how to use the smartphone her daughter bought for her, and doesn’t tell when she sneaks a cigarrette out of said daughter’s bag. And when the weather’s too bad to open the windows, they tape silly pictures or notes to the glass for the other to see (the kid makes sure to make his extra big so she doesn’t have to admit her eyeight isn’t what it used to be), and when it is nice the kid will sneak over and leave seashells on her windowsill, because the old woman said once she misses the sea, but she can’t travel like she used to. And one day he peeks in her window and sees her on the floor, and calls 911 and basically saves her life because she had a stroke and nobody would’ve known in time otherwise. And when she finally gets back from the hospital, just for a while because her daughter’s talking about a retirement home where she’ll have plenty of medical care and lots of friends her age, the kid comes through the window and then pulls another kid through the window who he introduces as his boyfriend, and says he wanted her to meet him. And she sniffs and interrogates the boyfriend in proper elderly relative fashion, and then declares him worthy of her boy— barely. And when she finally does have to go to that retirement home, the kid still comes to visit her, and always leaves seashells on the windowsill. sending this around again because of reasons. + oh my god : angelwingsandhunterfreckles: saepphire: majormitchmajor: kayquimi: ceruleanrabbitking: doctor-john: the-cosmic-life: I BET THAT IF TWO KIDS LIVED IN THOSE TWO HOUSES THAT THEY WOULD COME OUT ON THEIR ALMOST CONJOINING ROOFS OUTSIDE THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS AND TALK AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE. I will not write fluff to that. I won’t. No. LUCY I FOUND IT But what if instead of two kids, it was, say, a kid and an old woman? And at first they just ignore each other and keep their blinds down and curtains shut, but then the kid climbs out onto the roof one spring morning to get a frisbee and she’s got the window open bc it’s so nice out and she tells him to cut that out, it’s not a jungle gym and maybe the kid shows off a bit and nearly falls, and the old woman catches his arm…. anyway, so sometimes they leave the windows open and the kid’ll show off his comic books or asks what rhymes with ‘beautiful’ (and it’s totally for homework shut up), and the old woman tells him about all the protests and marches she took part in, and asks him the name of that one cute pop star (it’s absolutely for her crossword now shush). And the old woman gives the kid relationship advice, and doesn’t tell when he tries a bit too much of his parents’ liquor cabinet one time, and the kid comes over and shows her how to use the smartphone her daughter bought for her, and doesn’t tell when she sneaks a cigarrette out of said daughter’s bag. And when the weather’s too bad to open the windows, they tape silly pictures or notes to the glass for the other to see (the kid makes sure to make his extra big so she doesn’t have to admit her eyeight isn’t what it used to be), and when it is nice the kid will sneak over and leave seashells on her windowsill, because the old woman said once she misses the sea, but she can’t travel like she used to. And one day he peeks in her window and sees her on the floor, and calls 911 and basically saves her life because she had a stroke and nobody would’ve known in time otherwise. And when she finally gets back from the hospital, just for a while because her daughter’s talking about a retirement home where she’ll have plenty of medical care and lots of friends her age, the kid comes through the window and then pulls another kid through the window who he introduces as his boyfriend, and says he wanted her to meet him. And she sniffs and interrogates the boyfriend in proper elderly relative fashion, and then declares him worthy of her boy— barely. And when she finally does have to go to that retirement home, the kid still comes to visit her, and always leaves seashells on the windowsill. sending this around again because of reasons. + oh my god

angelwingsandhunterfreckles: saepphire: majormitchmajor: kayquimi: ceruleanrabbitking: doctor-john: the-cosmic-life: I BET THAT IF...

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tfios-changed-my-life: chimie—physique: So this little cigarette right here has sparked a whole new brand of TFiOS hate, much of which is coming from people who claimed to love the book.  Many people are now pointing out how “pretentious” Augustus is, and I can’t help but think, You’re only just now realizing this. He was written to be a seemingly pretentious and arrogant person. The acknowledgement of this is actually highly important because, without it, the book loses the message that a hero’s journey is that of strength to weakness.  Augustus Waters has big dreams for himself. He wants to be known and remembered; he wants to be a hero; he wants to be seen as perfect. But there’s already something standing in his way… He has a disability, and society tells him that a person cannot be both perfect and disabled. So what does he do? He creates a persona for himself. He tries to appear older and wiser than he is. But the pretentious side of him is NOT who he truly is. It’s all an act. (This is evident in the fact that he often uses words in the wrong context.) And when his cancer returns, we begin to see his mask cracking. The true Augustus begins to bleed through… Hazel even takes notice of this from time to time. And by the time we get to the gas station scene, Augustus is no longer the picture of perfection he was when we met him. The play has been canceled. The actor must reveal himself. And he’s revealed to be a weak, defenseless boy, succumbing to the cancer that is made of him.  THE PRETENTIOUSNESS IS INTENTIONAL. It stands to show Augustus’s journey from flawless to flawed, from strong to weak. It’s the key to understanding that Augustus was the hero he always wanted to be, even if he didn’t realized it.  Don’t know who wrote this but they’ve basically just reworded John Green’s own defense of the whole debate… Just to let you know, I posted this 14 hours before John Green answered that ask about the same thing. I didn’t reword anything. : tfios-changed-my-life: chimie—physique: So this little cigarette right here has sparked a whole new brand of TFiOS hate, much of which is coming from people who claimed to love the book.  Many people are now pointing out how “pretentious” Augustus is, and I can’t help but think, You’re only just now realizing this. He was written to be a seemingly pretentious and arrogant person. The acknowledgement of this is actually highly important because, without it, the book loses the message that a hero’s journey is that of strength to weakness.  Augustus Waters has big dreams for himself. He wants to be known and remembered; he wants to be a hero; he wants to be seen as perfect. But there’s already something standing in his way… He has a disability, and society tells him that a person cannot be both perfect and disabled. So what does he do? He creates a persona for himself. He tries to appear older and wiser than he is. But the pretentious side of him is NOT who he truly is. It’s all an act. (This is evident in the fact that he often uses words in the wrong context.) And when his cancer returns, we begin to see his mask cracking. The true Augustus begins to bleed through… Hazel even takes notice of this from time to time. And by the time we get to the gas station scene, Augustus is no longer the picture of perfection he was when we met him. The play has been canceled. The actor must reveal himself. And he’s revealed to be a weak, defenseless boy, succumbing to the cancer that is made of him.  THE PRETENTIOUSNESS IS INTENTIONAL. It stands to show Augustus’s journey from flawless to flawed, from strong to weak. It’s the key to understanding that Augustus was the hero he always wanted to be, even if he didn’t realized it.  Don’t know who wrote this but they’ve basically just reworded John Green’s own defense of the whole debate… Just to let you know, I posted this 14 hours before John Green answered that ask about the same thing. I didn’t reword anything.

tfios-changed-my-life: chimie—physique: So this little cigarette right here has sparked a whole new brand of TFiOS hate, much of which...

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